Final project-Negotiation & Conflict Resolution
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NegotiationSkills.pdf
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Negotiate To Win by A. J. Schuler, Psy. D.
Negotiation Skills Tip #1: First Agree on the Terms and
Scope of the Dispute
Lots of negotiations get off to the wrong start because the
parties involved have not taken the time to define clearly the
areas where they disagree. Very often, parties will rush toward
gaining positional advantage over what they see the main issue
to be, but before there is real agreement on which issues are at
stake, no real agreement is possible. To increase your
negotiation skills:
Define where all parties agree and disagree - the main
sticking points become apparent and areas of possible
agreement come to light.
Discover possible areas of agreement - it sets a more
balanced tone as all parties proceed further.
Define the scope of the dispute - you have already begun
to take subtle control of the following negotiating
process.
Negotiaion Skills Tip #2: See Yourself from the Other
Party’s Point of View
"Empathy" does not mean soft, emotional feelings of affection -
it means the ability to put yourself in the other person's shoes, to
see the world from his/her point of view.
Empathy does not require "sympathy," it only
requires understanding.
You can agree or disagree with whatever the other party sees or
believes, but you will do well to understand it. By
understanding it, you will have the advantage in knowing how
to present what you seek as a fair outcome in terms that the
other party will be able to accept and understand, rather than
fear.
Negotiation Skills Tip #3: See the Other Party from
Their Point of View
You will be most successful if you can advance your position so
the other party can still maintain the "ego" beliefs they hold
most important.
“Tact is the ability to see others as they see
themselves” - Abraham Lincoln
For example, if the other parties see themselves as "tough
negotiators," find ways during the process to emphasize their
"toughness" - directly or, (better yet) indirectly - especially
when you are making progress in advancing your position.
Negotiation Skills Tip #4: Be Honest, and Get Your
Facts Right
You can't negotiate successfully if you lose or lack credibility.
Never knowingly make a false statement or assertion, but even
that is not enough. Very often, successful negotiation come
down to having more - and more accurate - information than the
other party. For that reason, be sure to do your homework, so
that you can speak of many facets of the issues at hand with
confidence.
Negotiation Skills Tip #5: Use Silence To Your
Advantage
Loud displays, or "blowing off steam" will almost always work
to your disadvantage. Experienced negotiators who use such
styles know how to feign such emotions at strategic points in
time, in a purposeful fashion. So stay cool. A corollary to this
rule involves the use of silence. It is a natural human reaction,
especially during conflict, to try to fill up silence, due to
anxiety. But anxious people during negotiations tend to say
things that erode their positions. By being silent at the right
moments, you can give the other party a chance to
see your strength
give voice to the thoughts behind their stated positions -
so if they are secretly giving in on the inside, you give
them a chance to do it for real.
Negotiation Skills Tip #6: Find Some Objective, Fair
Standards All Sides Can Agree Upon
Take the initiative early on to stake out some fair standard
against which any final solution can be judged.
Tell the other party you want to come to a fair
solution that maximizes the outcome for both of you,
and propose some standard against which the results
can be measured.
For example, if you are selling your car, you may want to use
the Kelly Blue Book - especially since Blue Book values tend to
be slightly higher than those found in other such sources, so that
this resource favors the seller, but is still a recognized, fair
standard.
By setting the standards for final judgment of the solution, you
frame the issues
take greater control of the process
frame of the standard to your advantage, as in the Blue
Book example
set the stage to win.
Doing all these things won’t make you an expert negotiator, but
practicing these negotiation skills will make you stronger and
help you learn lessons the experienced pros have discovered
through lots of trial and error. Good luck!
For more tips on how to become a successful leader, including
increasing your negotiation skills, subscribe to my FREE e-
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Copyright (c) 2002 A. J. Schuler, Psy. D.
Permission is granted to copy this article as long as the following
information is included:
Dr. A. J. Schuler is an expert in leadership and organizational change. To
find out more about his programs and services, visit
www.SchulerSolutions.com or call (703) 370-6545.
Schuler Solutions, Inc.
A. J. Schuler, Psy. D.
6300 Stevenson Avenue, Suite 916
Alexandria, Virginia 22304
www.SchulerSolutions.com
(703) 370-6545
