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Smarthinking Tutor Response Form

Your tutor has written overview comments about your essay in the form below. Your tutor has also embedded comments [in bold and in brackets] within your essay. Thank you for choosing Smarthinking to help you improve your writing!

Hello, Natalie! I am Dana B., and I look forward to working with you on this Essay Center Review to improve your writing today. Let's get started!

*Writing Strength: 

First, you have a separate body paragraph for each supporting reason for your argument about online journalism. This writing strategy prevents your readers from being overwhelmed and helps in making a more unified and coherent paper. Nice work!

*Natalie 11148009, you requested help with Content Development:   

This sentence is not an effective way to end your paragraph because this is a supporting detail. As a result, your readers are not reminded of the key point of the paragraph, and your paragraph is not unified. Ideally, a powerful paragraph ends with one or more closing sentences that wrap up the details, reiterate the paragraph’s main idea, provide a new perspective on the main idea, and/or further support your main claim/thesis. If applicable, closing sentences can also relate the paragraph to the next one. Consider these questions:

Answer these questions in one or more sentences in your own words. Make sure your other paragraphs have effective closing sentences as well. For more information and examples of how to develop strong body paragraphs, you may visit this link: Powerful Body Paragraphs.

*Natalie 11148009, you requested help with Organization:    Your conclusion introduces new and specific information. For example, you wrote the following:

For instance, people who have been working for long hours will always want to get what they want quickly.

This is new and specific information because you do not yet discuss the lifestyles of people body paragraphs and it’s also an example. This information can benefit from being in your body paragraphs. As a result, it may affect the coherence of your paper. Ideally, a conclusion aims to wrap up the major points already discussed in the body, reiterate the significance of the topic, and give a generalization of the topic. What are the major supporting points for your argument about online journalism? Why is this topic important? For more information, you may visit this link: Strong Conclusions.

Use of Resources

Lastly, I noticed that some of your in-text citations do not follow proper MLA style. Here is an example from your third body paragraph:

Social media like YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, and Blogs enable people to participate in gathering news information hence sharing with their friends online (Deuze, Mark & Jo Bardoel 135).

This does not follow MLA style because you indicate the authors’ first names and you use an ampersand. Remember, you need to follow MLA style to properly document your paper. When citing a source according to MLA guidelines, we enclose in parentheses the last name(s) of the author(s) and the page number, which are separated by a single space, at the end of the sentence. If the source has two authors, we join them with “and.” Here are some examples:

One author

Students often procrastinate because they get overwhelmed (Smith 61).

Two authors

The oldest cotton textiles did not decay completely because of the dry climate of the ancient civilization (Bates and Ware 1).

Here, only the last names are indicated and “and” is used to connect their last names. Now it’s your turn. Make sure your in-text citations follow proper MLA style. For more information and examples, you may visit this link: MLA Style.

Summary of Next Steps: 

· Write effective closing sentences.

· Avoid new and specific information in your conclusion.

· Follow proper MLA style.

Thank you for submitting your essay for a review, Natalie. I enjoyed helping you with this step in the revision process. Have a good day! ~Dana B. 😊

You can find more information about writing, grammar, and usage in the  Smarthinking Writer's Handbook .

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Please look for comments [in bold and in brackets] in your essay below. Thank you for submitting your work to Smarthinking! We hope to see you again soon.

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Influences of Online Journalism on Public Consumption of News Content

From the topic of media, Journalism and social networking, the essay has focused on the influences of online journalism on public consumption of news. Online journalism is also referred to as digital journalism which is a contemporary way of journalism through which editorial content is transmitted through the internet instead of publishing through print media or even broadcast (Cohen & Elisia L538). [<- Good job for describing online journalism in your introduction to prepare your readers for your discussion, Natalie.] Also, digital journalism has been used in the past several years in the newspaper sectors whereby journalists report their field findings through the internet. A more in-depth study has revealed that the majority of people no longer buy printed newspapers for news update unless when they want future news reference because webs is a less costly and readily available network (Perloff & Richard M 74). Therefore, online journalism has influenced the public consumption of news which mainstream media like television and radio should embrace.

Digital journalism is perceived as an exciting means of getting news update. It is due to its interactivity nature and the use of multimedia such as videos and audios. The contents of news which mainly constitutes updates of the current affairs on sports, business and even politics are combined and solely presented in the form of audio or even video, texts and even in other interactive forms and distributed through the internet. It is also noted that high and greater degree of creativity can be practiced with the online journalism in comparison to other types of traditional media such as printed newspapers, television, radio, or even magazines (Cohen & Elisia L 540). Digital journalism involves a comprehensive approach to news production through the creative control of editor, writer or publisher.

Through online journalism, journalists’ content which is put in various forms such as video, audio, the text could be consumed in different ways due to its online put form. The internet allows the use of toolbars, use of topically grouped content and even intertextuality links which allows consumption of information in the way the user wants. [<- This detail can benefit from further explanation. What are the implications of personalizing one’s own consumption of information?] Also, the introduction of Yahoo and AOL portals and their news aggregators led to the introduction of new agencies like the associated press which distributed the digitally suited information for dissemination beyond the limit which the clients could access in the past (Hermida & Alfred 317).

Social media has impacted online journalism because changing the habits in media transforms the country regarding politics and mass communication. Online journalism helps in connection, interaction, and discussion at higher levels unlike print media such as a newspaper. People can comment and have discussions on articles (Hermida & Alfred 320). The Internet allows the formation of discussion boards globally which is impossible in traditional media. Thus facilitates the livelihood of the news, articles, as well as socialization among individuals. Also, online journalism changes the marketplace content concerning other media content. The use of social media like Twitter enables ordinary individuals to share news events which may happen around them in every moment. It helps in building the community and transforming the content to the media consumers. Social media like YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, and Blogs enable people to participate in gathering news information hence sharing with their friends online (Deuze, Mark & Jo Bardoel 135). [<- This paragraph also lacks a closing sentence. What is the paragraph about? Based on the details in this paragraph, what can be said about the influence of online journalism on public consumption of news?]

Majority of newsrooms are incorporating open publishing characteristic to their own online published versions. For instance, the CNN website post readers’ photo as well as other sites brings together and use reader contributed information (Deuze, Mark & Jo Bardoel 145). Mainstream newsrooms have increased the use of blogs as well as other online sources to offer leads in news items. Some are also hiring journalists from blogging positions, thus live in the courtrooms or elsewhere hence allowing them to air frequent news update in the most near real time. However, media environment is changing slowly towards online journalism; it has offered a way in which a few individuals pass information to many as well as opening an inclusive model in which all have voices, that is both the public’s as well as individuals. Fewer barriers to entry have led to lowered transmission costs, and different computer networking technologies have facilitated the widespread use of online journalism. It has led to the widespread use of the internet which is most preferred as compared to another form of traditional media such as radio, television newspaper since the majority of people prefer online journalism because of its many advantages as compared to other media.

Conclusion

News, as well as information, is very crucial in any society. Thus online journalism has been of significant impact on the community because it has been able to meet with the society’s changing lifestyle. For instance, people who have been working for long hours will always want to get what they want quickly. Through online journalism, this has been made possible. The Internet has also helped journalist in news gathering, branding and enlarging market share. [<- The demonstrative pronoun “this” is vague. To avoid misinterpretation, you might want to identify what “this” refers to. What has been made possible? Here is an example: This strategy helps the community improve their programs.] It has helped people to connect locally and globally, hence all reaping business as well as social benefits. Therefore, online journalism has influenced the public consumption of news, unlike the past. The majority have neglected mainstream media like television since they spend more time browsing. It has changed the structure of journalism, unlike traditional media since it monitors the mainstream media for misreporting and inaccuracies.

Works Cited

Cohen, Elisia L. "Online journalism as market-driven journalism." Journal of Broadcasting & Electronic Media 46.4 (2002): 532-548.

Deuze, Mark, and Jo Bardoel. "Network journalism: converging competences of media professionals and professionalism." (2001): 139-152

Hermida, Alfred. "Social journalism: Exploring how social media is shaping journalism." The handbook of global online journalism (2012): 309-328.

Perloff, Richard M. Political communication: Politics, press, and the public in America. Routledge, (2013): 74