Policy reflection
Allen91
Myths3DavidAdams.pdf
3/7/2016 1
Profiling Abusive Men and
Confronting Myths
David Adams, Ed.D.
Emerge
www.emergedv.com
3/7/2016 2
WHO ATTENDS EMERGE?
Abuser Education Program
0
5
10
15
20
25
30
35
40
45
Courts Child
Welfare
Self/Other
Agency
% Clients
3/7/2016 3
WHO ATTENDS EMERGE?
Responsible Fatherhood Program
0
5
10
15
20
25
30
35
40
45
50
Courts Child
Welfare
Self/Other
Agency
% Clients
3/7/2016 4
Myth 1:
1) Abusive men are easy to identify:
- Come across as angry, hot tempered,
“macho” or having a criminal record
3/7/2016 5
Reality
Most abusers are never identified
Most project a different persona
outside the family
Only a small proportion are arrested
Only ¼ are generally violent
3/7/2016 6
3/7/2016 7
Translation:
14-year old boy:
“I am not going to judge him for his
actions since he gave me my life, but
he is irresponsible”
3/7/2016 8
Myth 2:
2) Abusers have a problem with anger
3/7/2016 9
Reality
Domestic Violence is more about control
than anger
3/7/2016 10
Myth 3
3) Batterers lack skills
- anger management skills
- communication skills
- conflict resolution
- psychological awareness
3/7/2016 11
Reality
Abusiveness is a skill, encompassing
- control
- manipulation
- image maintenance
3/7/2016 12
Manipulation
Manipulation tactics often include,
- discrediting victim
- blaming victim
- divide and conquer family/friends
- undermining
- bargaining
- minimizing and denying
3/7/2016 13
Myth 4
4) Abusers often suffer from low self
esteem
3/7/2016 14
Reality
Narcissism is the more common
issue
White and Gondolf (2000) 50% on narcissistic
spectrum vs 26% on insecure/dependent spectrum
3/7/2016 15
Myth 5
5) The majority of abusers have mental health
problems
3/7/2016 16
Reality
Most do not have mental health problems.
Gondolf (2000)
3/7/2016 17
Personality Profiles
White and Gondolf (2000)
MCMI-III profiles of 100 abusers attending batterer
intervention:
• 59% had low personality dysfunction
• 23 % had moderate personality dysfunction
• 18% had severe dysfunction
3/7/2016 18
Personality Profiles (con’t)
White and Gondolf (2000)
Low Personality Dysfunction (59% of total):
Subgroups
1) Narcissistic/conforming style 34%
2) Avoidant/depressive style 22%
3) Atypical style 3%
3/7/2016 19
Personality Profiles (con’t)
White and Gondolf (2000)
Moderate Personality Dysfunction (23% overall):
Subgroups
1) Antisocial disorder 12%
2) Narcissistic disorder 6%
3) Atypical disorder 5%
3/7/2016 20
Personality Profiles (con’t)
White and Gondolf (2000)
Severe Personality Dysfunction (18% overall):
Subgroups
1) Paranoid disorder 8%
2) Borderline disorder 4%
3) Thought disorder 4%
4) Atypical disorder 2%
3/7/2016 21
Personality Profiles (con’t)
White and Gondolf (2000)
Overall Personality Profiles
1) Narcissistic/conforming (low) 34%
2) Avoidant/depressive (low) 22%
3) Antisocial Disorder (mod) 12%
4) Paranoid Disorder (severe) 8%
5) Narcissistic Disorder (mod) 6%
6) Borderline Disorder (severe) 4%
7) Thought Disorder (severe) 4%
3/7/2016 22
Myth 5
5) Abusers who express remorse are more
likely to change
3/7/2016 23
Reality
Abusers commonly attempt to manipulate interveners, with
- Denial and minimization
- Excuses
- Quick fix strategies
- Expressions of remorse
Remorse and apologies are part of the cycle of abuse
3/7/2016 24
Excuse-making
Most common excuses used by abusers:
1) “She provoked me”
2) “I lost control”
3) Good intentions (e.g. “I just wanted her to see
how unreasonable she is”, “Its because I care
so much”)
4) Stress, Frustration
5) Alcohol or drugs
3/7/2016 25
Excuse-making
Most Common Excuses:
6) Self-defense
7) Jealous rage
8) Insecurity
9) Being tired
10) “It was an accident”
3/7/2016 26
Examples of “provocation”
(from Emerge intake files)
“She won’t keep her mouth shut”
“She has a big mouth”
“She always has something to say”
“She doesn’t talk to me respectfully”
“She won’t listen”
“She’s not sexual enough”
“She was being like a slut”
“She doesn’t respond quickly enough”
3/7/2016 27
Award for most Excuses
Description of violent incident:
“I grabbed her and pulled her arm and
threatened to kill her”
What was your reason for doing this?
“I was drunk and I was sleeping at two in the
morning when the incident started. I felt
rejected. I was angry and drunk. She
pushed my arm after I touched her and I
lost control”.
3/7/2016 28
Myth 6
6) It the violence has only occurred once,
there isn’t a pattern
3/7/2016 29
Reality
Most often, the first incident that comes
to light isn’t the first incident
Both the victim and the abuser may be
minimizing
There may be a prior history of
nonphysical abuse
3/7/2016 30
Myth 7
7) Abusers don’t change
3/7/2016 31
Reality
Outcomes of abuser intervention programs are quite positive
- program completers are 2-4 times less likely to re-offend
- In Massachusetts, outcomes for certified batterer intervention programs are better than anger management programs, and substance abuse only interventions
- Outcomes are enhanced with strong support of referral sources
3/7/2016 32
Myth 8
8) Just because a person has abused his
partner doesn’t mean he is a bad parent
3/7/2016 33
Reality
There are two important aspects of parenting:
1) How you treat your children
2) How you treat the other parent of your children
Children are greatly affected by both of these
Boys who grow up witnessing their fathers seriously abusing their mothers are 10 times more likely to grow up to become abusers -- M.Strauss
3/7/2016 34
Parenting Problems of Abusers, #1
Physical Abuse of Children
- 40-70% physically abuse children
Heightened Risk for Child Sexual
Abuse
3/7/2016 35
Parenting Problems of Abusers, #2
Exposing children to abuse of the
mother
3/7/2016 36
Parenting Problems of Abusers, #3
Psychological Abuse
- rigid or inappropriate expectations
- verbal abuse
- inconsistent contact/attention
- favoritism
3/7/2016 37
Parenting Problems, #4
Psychological Abuse (continued)
- emotionality
-enlisting children as spies
- verbally abusing mother to
children
3/7/2016 38
Parenting Problems of Abusers, #5
Undermining Mother
- countermanding her rules, limits
- criticizing the mother
- enlisting children as spies
- manipulating visits
3/7/2016 39
Parenting Problems of Abusers, #6
Undermining the Mother (continued)
-filing child abuse reports
- legal harassment of mother
- withholding child support
- replacing the mother
