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/'/TIME

MANAGEMENT '

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from the

\\ INSIDE OUT '

SECOND EDITION

The Foolproof System for

Taking Control of Your Schedule­

And Your Life

JULIE MORGENSTERN

J-' St. Martin's Griffin ,- New York

TIME MANAGEMENT FROM THE INSIDE OUT,

SECOND EDITON. Copyright© 2000, 2004 by Julie

Morgenstern. All rights reserved. Printed in the

United States of America. For information,

address St. Martin's Press, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10010.

www.stmartins.com

Designed by Carla Bolte

Figure art by M&M Design 2000

Illustrations by Janet Pedersen

The Library of Congress has cataloged the Henry Holt edition as follows:

Morgenstern.Julie. Time management from the inside out : the

foolproof system for taking control of your schedule­

and your life / Julie Morgenstem.-2nd ed.

p.cm.

Includes bibliographical references and index.

ISBN 978-0-8050-7590-8 1. Time management. I. Title.

HD69.T54M66 2004

650.l'l--dc22

2004051807

Originally published by Henry Holt and Company

10

2

WHAT'S HOLDING

YOU BACK?

Think about the note you made to yourself at the end of the last

chapter, the one important thing you never get to. Is it time for yourself? For your friends? To get your financial house in order? Let's figure out why you are not getting to it. This chapter will help

you quickly pinpoint the problem.

AThree-Level Diagnostic

One of the most helpful tools in getting back in balance is knowing

what is throwing you off. When people manage their time poorly, they very often jump to the conclusion that they are internally

flawed somehow, that they are simply incompetent in this area of

life. They may throw their hands up in resignation, convinced that

"out of control" is just how life is supposed to be in the modern world. Both of these perceptions are inaccurate and self-defeating.

It's usually a combination of forces that creates time-management

problems. Consider the following three levels of errors and obsta­

cles to accurately diagnose what is going wrong. When you under­

stand all the causes of your problem, you can create true change from the inside out.

17

18 LAYING THE FOUNDATION

• Level l: Technical Errors. Perhaps all that is standing between you and what you want to accomplish is an easily resolved me­ chanical mistake. You may have never learned a particular skill or technique, but once you do you can simply make the appropriate adjustments to your approach and you're all set. P roblem solved.

• Level 2: External Realities. It would be counterproductive to deny the fact that sometimes environmental factors beyond your control directly interfere with your ability to manage your time and tend to what you consider most important. By identifying the true source of the problem, you can more directly address, adapt to, or manage the issue.

• Level 3: Psychological Obstacles. Sometimes, internal forces and fears prevent us from achieving the life we desire. By recog­ nizing certain self-sabotaging habits, you can begin to break free of their control.

Each time you get thrown off track, use the diagnostic below to ask yourself, "Is my problem technical, external, or psychological?" For example, if you are having trouble delegating, the problem could be technical (You don't know how to do it), external (There's no one you can delegate this to), or psychological (You feel guilty asking someone else to do this for you.).

If the problem is multifaceted (as is often the case), I encourage you to tackle the technical errors and external realities first. It's been my experience that once you overcome the problem pragmat­ ically, the psychological resistance usually melts away. This book was organized in such a way that you'll be focusing on practical skills first, then on whatever psychological issues may be holding you back.

Try rereading this chapter whenever you get stuck, and ask your­ self what's causing the problem right now. You may discover that there are certain obstacles that tend to cause problems for you over

WHAT'S HOLDING YOU BACK? 19

and over again. Ultimately you'll learn to recognize them when they

surface, quickly diffuse them, and stop them from sabotaging your efforts to manage your time.

LEVEL I: TECHNICAL ERRORS

Error #1: Tasks Have No "Home''

One of the most common causes for not getting to important activ­ ities is that you haven't set aside a specific time in which to do

them. If you think you'll pay bills or write a thank-you note when

you are in the mood, think again. W hen you catch yourself think­

ing, 'TU have fun, or pamper myself in my spare time," stop! There is no such thing as spare time!

As it is, our days are already packed with more things to do than

there will ever be time for. The only free moments we get are when

some other activity falls through at the last minute. Unfortunately, because we're caught off guard we usually can't think of what to do with those unexpected moments.

So if something is really important to you, set aside a specific

time in your schedule to make it happen. You'll learn more in chap­ ter 4, "The WADE Formula," chapter 10, "Time Mapping: Creat­

ing Your Ideal Balance," and chapter 13, "Assign a Home," about

how to assign "homes" for each task.

Error #2: You've Set Aside the Wrong Time

If you've set aside time to do something but find yourself still not getting to it, it's possible that you've set aside the wrong time. We

all have unique energy and concentration cycles: Some of us are

morning people; others are more energetic at night. Other factors can impact our motivation as well: sunshine, the time of year, life circumstances, and how much rest we are operating on.

20 LAYING THE FOUNDATION

If you are working against your own natural rhythms, it will be hard to effectively tackle a task when you've planned to. If you can't bring yourself to balance your checkbook each month, maybe the problem is that you're always trying to do it at night after work, when your mental energy is low. If you schedule the task in the morning instead, you might find yourself more motivated to tackle those figures.

For more about working with your natural energy cycles, see chapter 7, "Understanding Your Unique Relationship to Time."

Error #3: You've Miscalculated How Long Tasks Take

Most people are very unrealistic about what they can accomplish in a day. If the time required to complete your to-dos exceeds the time you have available, you simply won't get to it all and will end up feeling frustrated and demoralized. This is completely avoid­ able. If you get better at calculating how long tasks take, you can plan a realistic workload. Learning how to estimate how long tasks take is a skill anyone can learn, as you will see in chapter 3, "Mak­ ing Time Tangible." Furthermore, when you know what your big­ picture goals are, it will be much easier to eliminate, shorten, or delegate tasks that don't serve your bigger picture. Chapter 4, "The WADE Formula," and chapter 12, "Purge," will help you reduce your workload to fit the time allotted.

Error #4: You're the Wrong Person for the Job

Too many of us make the mistake of thinking that we have to do it all, and that asking for help is a sign of weakness. It can be hard to admit that when it comes to certain tasks, you're simply the wrong person for the job. But it can also be liberating. We each have unique talents and skills, and so do other people. It can save a lot of time, headaches, and heartaches to admit that someone else can do a job faster, better, and more efficiently than you. Maybe you

WHAT'S HOLDING YOU BACK? 21

have an assistant, or friends or family members, who would actu­ ally enjoy a job that's difficult and tedious for you. If someone else is better at balancing your checkbook or designing a new sales brochure, accept that, hire them, and move on.

You'll learn more about the art of delegating in chapter 4, "The Wade Formula," and chapter 12, "Purge."

Error #5: The Task Is Overly Complex

If you are not getting to what's important to you, it may be that the way you are approaching the task is overcomplicated. A too-large task can be so intimidating that it will cause you to procrastinate.

If you want to see success, you need to simplify the task. Maybe you've got a dozen boxes full of family memorabilia in

your garage, courtesy of your dear departed great-aunt Mimi. Every time you think about them (usually on a sunny Saturday morning), the mere idea of spending the day sorting through a bunch of dusty old boxes is exhausting and you banish the thought from your mind.

However, if you break down the project into smaller steps it be­ comes more manageable. You could spend just a couple of hours one day taking quick stock of the kinds of things you have to deal with, dividing them into categories that make sense to you (e.g., photos, letters, clothing). On another day you could buy photo boxes and storage containers for other items. Then spend an hour a week organizing photos into albums or separating keepsakes from clothing you'll donate, until you work your way through it all.

Break complex projects into small steps and keep it simple. Chap­ ter 3, "Making T ime Tangible," offers tips on breaking down large projects and chapter 14, "Containerize," puts a lid on perfectionism.

Error #6: You Can't Remember What You Have to Do

If you don't have a single reliable to-do list or planner, chances are you won't get to many of your important tasks simply because you

22 LAYING THE FOU NDATION

won't remember that you have to do them! This sounds overly sim­ plistic, but in the busy, overstimulating environment we live in, it's hard to rely on memory alone. Even with the best intentions, we often get distracted. To avoid this, you will need to consistently record your to-do lists and appointments-including the appoint­ ments you make with yourself or your family-in one dependable place. Chapter 6, "Choosing the Right Planner for You," will help you pick a planner that you can live and work with.

Error #7: Your Space Is Disorganized

Even if you are an otherwise excellent time manager, a disorgan­ ized physical environment will steal a huge amount of time and en­ ergy from your day. You'll waste hours searching for your keys, your reading glasses, or some important document. You'll work ineffi­ ciently, get stuck redoing lost work, and have to run out and re­ place items you can't find.

The solution to this technical error is simple: Organize your space. The average office takes just three days to organize; the av­ erage room in a home takes one to one and a half days.

It's too overwhelming to organize everything all at once, but you can start with the room in which you spend the most time. The .sooner you invest the time organizing, the sooner you will gain the extraordinary benefits of more time to work with. Read chapter 5 to understand the unique relationship between time and the back­ log of papers on your desk. My first book, Organizing from the In­ side Out, will teach you a simple, foolproof plan for taking control of any space in your home or office.

Error #8: There Is an Absence of Planning Time

Do you get so caught up in being busy and productive that you loathe taking a few minutes out of your life to do any planning? "Measure twice, cut once" is an expression I used to hate, because I

WHAT'S HOLDING YOU BACK? 23

never had any patience for planning. I just wanted to jump in and figure things out as I went along. It felt to me like a terribly inactive, nonproductive waste of time, especially when I was under a lot of pressure to get things done. I have since learned that the busier you get, the more essential it is to take a step back, evaluate your priori­ ties, and plan how, exactly, you are going to get things done. Plan­ ning prevents you from making mistakes, keeps you focused on what's most essential, and reduces your overall worry factor. It en­ ables you to anticipate obstacles and either avoid them or develop a strategy to minimize their impact. From preparing your daily to-do list, to figuring out shortcuts for cumbersome projects and reviewing your lifetime goals, planning is as productive an activity as checking off anything else on your to-do list. If you invest the time to plan, you will find yourself making the time you need to get to what is most important. Chapter 4, "The WADE Formula," chapter 9, "Defining Your Goals and Activities," chapter 10, "Time Mapping: Creating Your Ideal Balance," and chapter 15, "Equalize," all contain strate­ gies and techniques to plan your work, then work your plan.

Error #9: You Have an Unrealistic Workload

The tricky thing about an unrealistic workload is that it can be at­ tributed to many causes: the technical error of miscalculating how long things take, the psychological drive to work too hard, or exter­ nal factors-sometimes you just have to admit that life has over­ loaded you at the moment. Maybe you are working, going to school, and trying to raise children. Maybe your assistant recently moved on, your computer crashed, or your home-renovation proj­ ect has gone horribly awry and your to-do list is rapidly filling up with tasks you didn't-and couldn't-anticipate.

Regardless of the cause, you can approach work overload as a technical issue. It's time to reexamine your workload and focus on self-preservation. Be kind to yourself. Get rid of extraneous tasks;

24 LAYING THE. FOU NDATION

streamline and delegate them. Dramatically lower your standards for certain to-dos, just to keep your head above water.

Chapter 4, "The WADE Fonnula," will help you learn how to re­ duce your workload, and chapter 12, "Purge," will help you learn to depend on others to get things done. Chapter 15, "Equalize," will help you adapt and adjust your plans and expectations during ex­ tenuating circumstances. By following the program in this book, you will be able to create a custom time-management system for yourself that is flexible enough to accommodate the ebbs and flows of a constantly changing workload, as well as unexpected events and crises.

LEVEL 2: EXTERNAL REALITIES

External realities are situations in which you are faced with signif­ icant time-management challenges beyond your control. They have a profound impact on your ability to manage your time. When you recognize external realities you can get to the heart of the prob­ lem and figure out a way to adapt to them, instead of wasting time and energy beating yourself up. Think about the one thing you'd . like to find more time for and see if you recognize your situation in one of the following causes. If so, try a different approach.

External Reality #1: A Health Problem Limits Your Energy

Maybe you aren't getting to what's important because you just don't have the energy reserves to pull it off. Experts say we're a na­ tion of sleep-deprived souls and it's a diagnosis to be taken seri­ ously; lack of sleep can sap you of energy as well as the ability to focus and do difficult analytical tasks. Some people suffer from chronic conditions that seriously deplete their energy stores. You could be slowed down. by clinical depression, or attention deficit disorder, or any of a number of health problems that you may not

WHAT ' S HO L D I N G YOU BACK? 25

even be aware of. Lethargy that won't go away could signal a thy­ roid problem, sleep apnea, or a nutritional deficiency.

If you suspect a health problem, don't add worrying about it to your to-do list. And don't be mad at yourself. Instead, make an ap­ pointment to see your doctor and ask about the possibility of an underlying medical condition. Take care of yourself and make ad­ justments for temporary or permanent health and energy prob­ lems. If your energy is limited, it becomes more important than ever to prioritize your to-do list: plan your days to start with what's most important, leaving smaller, less significant acitivites for later in the day (and only if you still have any energy left). Chapter 4, "The WADE Formula," and chapter 1 2, "Purge," will help you cre­ ate shortcuts and learn to delegate to get the help you need. Chap­ ter 1 0, "Time Mapping: Creating Your Ideal Balance," will help you create a schedule that works with your energy levels instead of try­ ing to ignore your limitations.

External Reality #2: You Are in Transition

When you're in transition, it's very hard to figure out how to spend your time. Routines fly out the window as you grapple with new responsibilities, demands, and activities. Transitional situations that can throw your schedule off include getting married, getting divorced, a job change, a new baby, illness, retirement, graduation, and moving.

When you're disoriented by a transition, reground yourself by identifying one or two activities that always anchor you ( exercise, sleep, time for loved ones), and make sure you build time for those activities into your schedule. Then build a new framework around those grounding activities that accommodates your new lifestyle, understanding that it may change. Chapter 1 0, "Time Mapping: Creating Your Ideal Balance," will help you claim time for the most essential activities, even during a time of transition.

2 6 LAYING THE F O U NDAT ION

External Reality #3: You Are in an Interruption - Rich Environment

The interruption-rich environment is a challenge for even the best time managers. A mom with a newborn can't control when her baby sleeps and wakes; a doctor can't control when his patients will need emergency care. Public relations people, real estate agents, stock­ brokers, salespeople, and many others in service-based industries all have interruption-rich jobs that require them to be extremely responsive to others.

How do you handle an interruption-rich environment? By ac­ knowledging and planning for it. Leave plenty of time for the inter­ ruptions and crises. Then create a little oasis of time for yourself that is totally under your control by putting your phone on voice mail, or asking a colleague to fill in for you, or waking up a little earlier each day. And make sure you do what's most important to you in that oasis of time.

Chapter 1 0 will teach you how to develop a Time Map that al­ lows you to create these havens free of interruption, and chapter 1 2 , "Purge," will help you master delegation.

External Real ity #4: Other People's Chaos

What if you are living or working with somebody whose disorganized ways keep interfering with your own time-management plans? If there is anyone whose disorganization affects you on a regular basis­ a chaotically driven spouse, child, boss, coworker, client, or business partner-you'll need to resolve the conflict in order to eliminate your anger and keep the relationship healthy. If you can, get this person to work with you on improving his or her own time management.

Remember that the best negotiations always start out by identi­ fying the common goals you have with the other person. This will eliminate any defensive feelings and put both of you on the same

WHAT 'S HOLDING YOU BACK? 27

side of the fence. With a boss, your common goal may be to pro­ duce the best widgets in the country. With a spouse, your common goal may be to create a happy home. Then, as a team, you can brainstorm ways to prevent last-minute chaos.

If you can't negotiate a solution, you will have to take responsi­ bility for protecting your own schedule. Stop relying on your friend to go to the gym with you if she always cancels at the last minute. Announce an earlier meeting time for someone who is perpetually late. Be smart and accept other people's quirks, and change your approach in relation to them.

LEVEL 3: PSYCHOLOG ICAL OBSTACLES

Sometimes what stands between our current, chaotic lives and the lives in which we make time for what's really important are psy­ chological obstacles. We know what we need to do, but we resist taking action because the inaction serves us somehow by fulfilling some deep-seated need we may not even be aware of. Without awareness, these forces will sabotage your best efforts to make time for what you deem most meaningful.

Often, just realizing what you've been doing and why you might be doing it is enough to move you toward change.

In my years of hands-on practical experience in the organizing field, I've discovered the following common themes among clients who are struggling to get a grip on their time. Does any of the fol­ lowing sound familiar?

Psychological Obstacle # 1 : U nclear Goals and Priorities

Without clearly defined goals, it's nearly impossible to follow through on your plans or to make decisions on how and where to spend your time. You have no basis for how to prioritize and sift through the many choices that confront you on a daily basis.

28 LAYI N G T H E FOU N DAT I O N

Perhaps you've got general goals, but you haven't taken the time to write them down or think them through completely. When they're not clear, trying to reach them is like trying to navigate your

way through a strange city with a sketchy map-frustrating and

riddled with opportunities to make wrong turns.

GEITING REAL

Pete, Management Consultant

Pete, a management consultant who founded his own firm after

fifteen-plus years working for one of the biggest-name consulting

companies around, knew that his overall goal was to create a suc­ cessful business. Pete had always flourished in his career-and

knew he wanted his own firm to thrive-but had never actually de­

fined what thriving meant to him. Did he want his business to be

the next Merck, or did he want to make his one-man operation

more profitable? He didn't know, and made unfocused decisions

that led to costly detours.

When an old colleague offered him a decent deal on office

space downtown, Pete grabbed it. Without much thought he fig­

ured his own office space would have cachet-and surely a "down­

town" address would boost his tiny firm's profile.

It was only after he had committed to an expensive long-term

lease that he realized how much he treasured the lifestyle his

home-based business offered. After fifteen years wearing a suit

and tie, Pete loved that he could work-all day if he wanted to-in

his jeans and a T-shirt. He loved being able to work whenever he wanted to-flexibility that gave him more time to spend with his

family. Most of all, he liked being able to pick and choose his own

W H AT ' S H O L D I NG YOU BAC K ? 29

clients and projects-he could work with chents he liked best, and on the projects he found most interesting .

Pete eventually figured out that thriving for him meant being able to spend more time working on the things he cared about, maintaining a flexible schedule, and making a comfortable-enough living. Do you think he would've made a different decision about the lease had he known that ahead of time?

Maybe you know you want a rewarding family life , but, like Pete, haven't defined specifically what that means to you. Does it mean taking your family on cross-country trips every summer? Or having dinner together every night? If your goals are not well defined, you're probably having a hard time focusing your energies, deciding which opportunities to act on and which to decline.

I a m convinced that most people know in their hearts what they want. The problem is that somewhere along the way we lose sight

of or deny our desires and dreams. Or, you may say you want something , but ac;tually feel conflicted about it. If you aren't where you want to be, you are either on your way (and good for you) , or not so sure you really want to go there. Ask yourself if you are just afraid to articulate what you want. If you have the courage to visu­ alize success, you can make anything happen.

Chapter 9, "Defining Your Goals and Activities," will help you clarify your thinking about your goals and determine what your biggest priorities in life are.

Psychological Obstacle #2: Conguistador of Crisis

Think about the one big thing you never have time to do. Do you thrive so much on being busy, on getting things done, on checking off one accomplishment after the next, that you end up leaving the

3 0 LAYING T H E F O U NDATION

one thing that's really important to the very last second-and then run out of time? If your life feels like one urgent calamity after an­ other, chances are you are a "conquistador of crisis."

You set your life up to be in constant disaster mode because , quite frankly, you are a wonderful crisis manager. You feel so good conquering the impossible that you keep creating it, just so you can rescue yourself. You pull it off every time-though not neces­ sarily without some "fallout" along the way.

If you are a conquistador of crisis, you may have trained for this role as a kid playing the role of the group organizer, peacemaker, or problem solver. You learned to feel a certain comfort in crisis, and you felt good about your ability to handle chaos. The ability to act

swiftly and successfully in 'crisis is a wonderful quality! Just make sure that the mayhem you keep creating (for the purposes of tam­ ing) is meaningful to you-don't fritter away these skills on to- dos and activities that aren't important to your bigger picture. You can

learn to feel good about your "conquistador" abilities, without hav­ ing to test it on a daily basis. Chapter 9, "Defining Your Goals and Activities," will help you focus on the things most important to you , and chapter 1 2 , "Purge ," will help you scrap the things that aren't.

Psychologica l Obstacle #3: Fear of Failure or Success

If you know what your goals are, but are not getting to the things that are important to you, it could be that you are suffering from a fear of failure. It can be very frightening to go after your dreams and find out you are incapable of achieving them. Sometimes it's easier to avoid making the effort, blaming circumstances or the fact that you didn't get to try, rather than risking true failure. Even the thought of failure can seem devastating to some people. Think about the tasks or activities that you've been avoiding because you're afraid of messing them up. How about really taking control of your finances? It's scary! W hat if you make a mistake? Or dis-

WHAT'S HOLD! NG YO U BACK? 3 1

cover that the plan you've been mulling over in your mind is unat­ tainable? Being unwilling to risk failure will prevent you from at­ taining your goals, because you're forever afraid . to take that first step. When failure has you paralyzed in its grasp ask, "What's the worst possible thing that could happen?" and then dare yourself to move forward.

On the other hand, success can produce just as much anxiety as failure can. You might not be pursuing your goals because you fear the reactions of the people around you-your boss may not like it, your kids may balk, your spouse may act confused-because they're used to things the way they are. If you are afraid to disrupt the status quo, you may be forsaking what's most important to you for what is comfortable, safe, or secure.

Once you recognize this fear of success, it's ,much easier to move through it. Everyone deserves success. If you harbor this fear, spend time with people you consider successful. It will demystify the scary aspects and make success feel within your reach.

When you are fearful of change, remember that you may be able to make the change in such a way that it's more gradual and less wrenching. Taking small steps will give you and others a chance to adjust. Chapter 9, "Defining Your Goals and Activities," will help you figure out what your goals are, and then help you determine manageable ways to achieve them.

Psychological Obstacle #4: Fear of Downtime

For some people, "down.time" is very anxiety provoking. If this is you, the idea of taking a day of fwith nothing to do, taking any time for yourself, or simply slowing down enough to relax consumes you with dread.

Maybe you feel guilty taking time off because you're not as productive. Or maybe you take a certain pride in being constantly on the go or completely consumed by one project after another.

3 2 LAY I NG T H E FOU NDAT I ON

All work and no play may not make you dull, but it is a recipe for burnout.

You may actually be keeping your schedule packed and your mind cluttered to avoid thinking about larger, more difficult issues, like what you really want to do with your life, or how to deal with an unhappy marriage, or a big decision. With a calmer schedule and time to think, you may have to begin dealing with matters you've consciously or unconsciously been ducking.

You don't have to stop being busy-you can keep a packed schedule if that's how you're most comfortable. But make sure that you fill your time with a set of balanced activities that are mean­ ingful to you, instead of busywork.

Psychological Obstacle #5: Need to Be a Caretaker

Sometimes, we get so caught up in our own need to be appreciated and feel valued that we don't allow other people to help us. Feeling a sense of pride in being able to accommodate anyone who asks a favor of you is understandable-we all like to be needed; that sense can give us value, meaning, and definition.

But you can't say yes to everyone-there simply isn't enough time in the day. When your caretaker impulse goes into overdrive, it can cause you to feel resentful, underappreciated, and drained: You keep saying "yes," but no one ever seems satisfied with the time you give them; everyone wants more, more, more! Consider this: Saying yes to the person in the moment means you're saying no to someone else whom you've already promised that time to. If you're always staying late to help out a coworker, or say "sure" to every committee assign­ ment that's offered to you, whom or what are you saying no to? Is it your spouse? Your kids? Your friends? The gym? Alone time? Leash­ ing your caretaker role will ensure that you are actually taking care of the people who are most important to you (and yourself!), instead of giving priority to anyone who catches you in a generous moment.

WHAT ' S HO L D I NG YOU BAC K ? 3 3

GKITING REAL

The Caretaker

Sara, thirty-five and single, is a highly accomplished professional who's never led a balanced life. Warm , giv ing , and dynamic, she's notorious among friends and family for canceling plans at the last minute because of work conflicts.

To me she confessed, "I give the appearance of having an in­ credibly demanding job, but the truth is I often use work as an ex­ cuse for getting out of social engagements." Why? Because in

every relationship, she took on the role of caretaker, therapist, friend, boss, or mother. It was exhausting, yet she couldn't imagine goi ng into a social situation focused on anything other than how she could help people-it was her identity.

About two weeks into our work together the fates conspired to land her in the hospital where she had no choice but to allow fam­ ily and friends-and there were plenty of them-to help. I t felt strange, but in a good way. Long talks with her father and sister opened her eyes to the fact that her fierce independence, and in­ sistence on not needing anyone's help, often felt like a rejection. Sara had never even considered that possibility-she simply didn't want to burden other people.

Over the next several weeks , as she recovered from her illness and slowly returned to the rhythm of nor�al life, Sara started to delegate more work to her staff. She made dinner plans with friends and kept them. She signed up for Pilates classes and didn't miss a session. With time, she came to see life outside the office as refreshing, not the burden it once was. It seems that in taking care of herself, she got even better at taking care of others.

3 4 L AY I N G T H E FOU N DAT I O N

See chapter 1 2, "P urge," for advice on how to just say no.

Psychological Obstacle #6: Fear of Completion

Some people have a hard time making progress toward their goals and getting through their to-do lists because they actually have a fear of completion. They keep starting projects, bouncing back and forth between all of them, yet have a hard time finishing any one project. They never get to truly enjoy a feeling of accomplishment, and the result is a loss of energy and self-esteem.

Often people have a hard time finishing projects because they love the creative process and hate having to make choices that will dose off other options. If this is the case, keep reminding yourself that there will always be new projects and new chances to flex your creative muscle. It can be helpful to think about your role shifting from creator to editor at a certain point in the project's develop­ ment. Once the creator has had a fair turn at the project, it's time to let the editor take over. Another technique is to spend time with people who love to get things done, or to team up with someone who's a "finisher" and let them put the project to bed. Sometimes, through osmosis, you can learn to savor the joy of completion.

If you don't finish a project and it keeps lingering on, sometimes it's simply because the project is no longer important to you. Give yourself permission to let go of the time and effort you have in­ vested. When you let go of the obsolete, you free yourself up for new projects. Chapter 1 4, "Containerize," will offer more advice on seeing things through to completion.

Psychological Obstacle #7: Need for Perfection

Perfectionists feel compelled to do everything at the same level of excellence. Many adopt the attitude, "Well, if I can't do this per­ fectly, I'm not going to do it at all!"

The need for perfection often comes out of a need for approval.

W H AT ' S H O L D I NG YOU BACK ? 3 5

It could also come from a fear of criticism, humiliation, or harsh judgment. Maybe the perfectionist mantra was drummed into your head as a kid and you never learned how to evaluate which tasks were worth your very best effort and which ones weren't. Or it could be that you feel more secure when everything seems to be under your control.

One client of mine had been intending to "get back to the gyrn''-but she insisted on finding the perfect gym, with the perfect classes, and the perfect trainer, who would design the perfect work­ out program for her body type. But she'd been talking about this for a year and hadn't made one inch of progress! Others get caught up on bill-paying. They go crazy trying to find the perfect software program, and spend hours worrying about having a perfectly bal­ anced checkbook and keeping a perfect record of their expendi­ tures.

Some things in this world are worth doing perfectly-but lots of times, good enough is good enough. If your perfectionism is pre­ venting you from accomplishing a task or project, find a way to make yourself get started. Instead of finding the perfect gym, join a health club recommended by a trusted friend; instead of using a fancy software program, just get yourself set up to pay online. At least then, you'll have something to work with. For help in learning when enough is enough, see chapter 1 4, "Containerize."

Psychological Obstacle #8: You Fear Structure Will Stifle Creativity

Many creative or "right-brained" people fear that imposing struc­ ture in their lives will squelch their creativity or their free-spirited personality. As a result, their personal and business lives are chaotic and cause them tremendous stress.

If this is your situation, be assured that imposing structure can actually be liberating. Many of the most successful creative writers,

3 6 L AY I NG THE FO U ND AT ION

artists, and musicians find great freedom in structure and . disci­ pline. They write or paint or draw at the same time every day. Some days the creativity flows, others it trickles out, but the consistency of their schedule assures that they make time for what is important to them . .

Structure doesn't destroy your creative impulses ; rather, it allows them to flourish. After all, when your schedule is free-form, you of­ ten don't get to the things that are most important to you. Your cre­ ative work . takes a backseat to the more urgent demands of other people, and you neglect your own needs, such as paying your bills and making doctors' appointments.

You need to learn to trust that you can put structure into your schedule and still have enough freedom to hear the call of your muse, or respond to opportunities that crop up, or spend time with your friends, customers, and associates. You don't have to plan every hour, but you can map out a general rhythm to your day.

If you are afraid of structure, Time Management from the Inside Out will work well for you because i t will allow you to accommo­ date your natural behavior patterns. You can customize your sched­ ule to work for you, as you will see in chapter 10, "Time Mapping: Creating Your Ideal Balance."

Becoming aware of what has been holding you back can make a monumental difference in your effort to gain control over your time. Fortified with these new insights into why you act the way you do, you have a real head start in creating long-lasting change.

You are now ready to tackle the biggest obstacle of all: Your per­ ception of time.