Report on the benefits of relational capital
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Module3PPT.pptxBasics of Business Etiquette
Building Relational Capital
Importance of E-image
Relational Mapping
Overview – Module 3
Relational capital is earned, similar to money in which it is: valuable and necessary, takes continual effort to maintain and obtain; and the more you have, the better off you are, especially if an emergency arises. The principle difference between money and relational capital is the latter is intangible.
You know you have relational capital when it’s 5pm on a Friday, your boss hands you a large project due Monday at 7am. Immediately a few colleagues roll up their sleeves to help you make the deadline AND have a weekend.
You have reputational capital when, through an oversight on your part, your customers have to move to a temporary location which also slows down their service. Instead of angry finger pointing their responses are “Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us;”
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Most reliable GPS in building relational capital
Neutralizes the prestige factor
Helps repair broken relations
Business Etiquette
In 1922 EP wrote a tiny blue book: Etiquette, 3rd national best sellar non-fiction second to the Bible WHY? Times Irevolution, swarms of people coming in for jobs…they greet each other differentlyin, eat, entertain in ways which were foreign. EP among NY elite (friends did NOT want her to publish guide on how to interact) she did and it became famous to this day….
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Business Etiquette Success
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“We are getting less than 40 hours of work from a large number of our KC-based EMPLOYEES. The parking lot is sparsely used at 8am; likewise at 5pm. As managers – you either do not know what your EMPLOYEES are doing; or YOU do not CARE. You have created expectations on the work effort which allowed this to happen inside Cerner, creating a very unhealthy environment. In either case, you have a problem and you will fix it or I will replace you. You have two weeks. Tick, tock.”
-- The New York Times, April 5, 2001
© 2013 Rockwood Communications Counsel, Inc. www.rockwoodcc.com
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Reference: Emily Post Institute
Email Mismanagement Fiasco
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Obviously this internal memo – public which caused heads to roll
Affects chances of being promoted, nominated, invited, recommended or retained.
Damages credibility and likeability.
Alienates your supporters during rainy days.
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Cost of Rudeness
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It’s not just if you decide to do it, it’s HOW you decide to do it that matters.
Bruno
Reference: Emily Post Institute
EP vacationed at family lake home next to ‘Yappy’ constant annoyance. Bruno decides he’s had enough…family notices quiet…looks around and they can see Bruno with Yappy…lake…
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Are Americans rude today than 20 or 3 years ago?
89%
8%
On a frequent/occasional basis, do you encounter people rudely using their cell phone?
Have you used your cell phone in a loud or annoying manner in the past few months?
69%
AP/IPSOS Manners Poll
These figures are dated but show….
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It’s easier to see rudeness in others than in yourself.
Rudeness isn’t always intentional.
Perspective Matters
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Rudeness
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Building Relational Capital:
Think before acting.
Make choices that build relationships.
Do it sincerely.
How Business Etiquette Works
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Reference: Emily Post Institute
Pause before you act for you surely will take action…who you sit next to, what you wear, what you will say.
Choose the path which sustains …..Bruno had a choice to end things or sustain… Now what is EASY for YOU
Must be authentic. The first two points mean nothing if you cannot be honest. Think..a pushy salesperson ..you’re less inclined to believe their sincerity
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You Are the Expert
You’ve just finished a major presentation to a committee of five people at the prospect’s offices…
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Reference: Emily Post Institute
You would:
Write a letter to the committee as a whole.
Send an email to the chair of the committee and ask her to share it with the other members.
Write a thank you note to each committee member and send it by mail.
Call the committee chair the next day and thank her.
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Reference: Emily Post Institute
You Are the Expert
True story: Sent out announcements for new business in SoCal… call from SF recruiter. Puzzled…why not get local help? There were dozens offering the same services as mine. “You were the only one who took the time to write me a personal note.” Led to $27K retainer….never doubt power of extra steps to show your sincerity.
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Perspective Matters
Before you open your mouth:
Appearance
Actions
Words
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Count for more than 70%
They don’t even know your name. Imagine on one side of glass wall: You see people milling about at a work related event. You will immediately draw assumptions based on clothes, how the other person is listening to what is being said, etc.
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Appearance
Actions
Words
When the factors are working, the focus turns to content.
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Factors that Influence a Relationship
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Neat
Not torn or sloppy
Not wrinkled
Clean
Washed, no odor
No stains
Your person
No body odor
No bad breath
Well groomed
Tips:
Not too: tight, short, low cut, loud, high, sheer
Keep it understated
Minimal jewelry
Dress for the situation
Minimal accents
Tattoos and piercings
Reference: Emily Post Institute
Appearance Counts
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COMMUNICATION STRATEGISTS | ROCKWOODCC.COM
Appearance - X
Interpretations of business casual
Remember perceptions are drawn before you say hello…
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Actual Business Casual
Professionalism on the Outside = Professional Work Product
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Actions
Body language
Minimizing others
Nervous habits
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© Rockwood Communications Counsel, Inc.
www.rockwoodcc.com
Cell phones, eating, seating No eye contact
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Avoid:
Slang expressions;
incorrect English
Swearing
Insider chatter
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Words
Talking about things in front of others which only you and one other know about
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COMMUNICATION STRATEGISTS | ROCKWOODCC.COM
Words
“Every other word was ‘friggin’ this or that… we can’t have him around clients.”
“We were showing the new person around… within 5 minutes we knew she was divorced, vegan and didn’t like her last job.”
“Chris’ party … Sara was there from accounting.”
Word Impact
Example
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“My wife and I were invited to a golf charity. An attorney in our group got so mad that he swore repeatedly. I decided right there, I would never work with that firm.”
- EL POLLO LOCO
“One of the senior partners checked his phone under the table at our meeting. That showed me we needed him more than he needed us.” - DRYER’S GRAND ICE CREAM
“Whether it is the janitor who takes out your trash or a CEO, they should be treated in the same respectful manner.” - ELLISON
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What Decision Makers Say
Always mute your phone before meetings or MANAGE EXPECTATIONS “I am expecting an urgent call, if it comes I must take it” move away- do not be SEEN or Heard
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Please = A request
Sans “please” = A demand, an order
Thank you = Appreciation and Respect
Sans “thank you” = Expected, taken for granted
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Reference: Emily Post Institute
Demand vs. Request
No one likes being bossed around….even if you are NOT in a supervisory position but you make more than someone else…ALWAYS express appreciation. Management is 3x more likely to offend because of overlooking things like please and thank you
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AP/IPSOS Manners Poll
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Introductions
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COMMUNICATION STRATEGISTS | ROCKWOODCC.COM
Which Signal Sent?
Micro-impressions …in the first photo the handshake is insincere….hand over hand – I am sorry for your loss…or feigned friendship…
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First impressions can make or break you.
The introduction is your opportunity to make a strong first impression.
How you handle yourself gives strong clues about your confidence and professionalism.
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Reference: Emily Post Institute
Why Introductions Matter
People are attracted to confident people….Zoom to show…v-grip, etc.
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Introductions – Four steps:
Stand up.
Look the person in the eye and smile.
Firm grip handshake.
Say your name and repeat their name.
Confidence is key.
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Reference: Emily Post Institute
High Impact Moment
Talk first to the person:
More important
You would like to honor
“Gabrielle, I would like to introduce our grant writer, Austin Ray to you. Austin, this is Gabrielle Daniels.”
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Reference: Emily Post Institute
Order of Introduction
Your client is hosting an appreciation event for his clients. Liz Patterson, the biggest client is coming. You’ve never met her but everyone talks about “Liz.” You are introduced, her name tag says Elizabeth Patterson. The person who introduces you says, “Liz, I would like you to meet Lisa Grant our attorney.”
How do you respond?
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Reference: Emily Post Institute
You’re the Expert
“It is a pleasure meeting you…”
Liz
Elizabeth
Ms. Patterson
Liz Patterson
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Reference: Emily Post Institute
Etiquette Quiz
Admit your predicament
Apologize
Move on
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Reference: Emily Post Institute
Forgetting Someone’s Name
It happens!
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A breathing person always has priority over any cell phone. Period.
Ask, “is this a good time?” and respect the answer.
Manage expectations—if you HAVE to take a call, let the other person know.
Walk away to not be seen or heard.
Reference: Emily Post Institute
Cell Phones
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Being on time is a measure of respect
Being late is not an indicator that you are very busy or important
Being late:
Shows you are a disorganized person
Shows that you don’t respect the people you are meeting with
When you are late, you start off on the wrong foot by having to apologize
Reference: Emily Post Institute
Being on Time
Emily Post this was #1 biggest offense with her…Consider akin to asking for a favor when you have not earned ANY relational capital yet!
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Etiquette
=
Manners + Principles
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Reference: Emily Post Institute
The “Compass”
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Manners
What to do.
What to expect others to do.
Reference: Emily Post Institute
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Manners vs. Principles
What to do when there is no manner.
How to resolve relationship situations.
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Reference: Emily Post Institute
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How to answer a telephone.
How to introduce yourself.
How to use a fork.
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Reference: Emily Post Institute
Examples of Manners
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Manners
Time sensitive
Vary between cultures
Principles
Timeless
Cross cultural boundaries
Reference: Emily Post Institute
Manners vs. Principles
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Guiding Principle
Anticipate Needs.
Exceed Expectations.
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Reference: Emily Post Institute
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Example:
Shaking Hands vs. Bowing
The Manner differs culturally.
The Principle crosses cultural boundaries.
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Reference: Emily Post Institute
Manners vs. Principles
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Consideration
Thinking, empathy
Respect
Look at your options to determine if each one grows rather than hurts the relationship
Honesty
Acting sincerely, being truthful
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Reference: Emily Post Institute
The Principles
The principles guide you always….they should look familiar
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Consideration
Thinking, empathy
Respect
Look at your options to determine if each one grows rather than hurts the
relationship
Honesty
Acting sincerely, being truthful
Think Before Acting
Make Choices that Build Relationships
Do It Sincerely
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Reference: Emily Post Institute
The Principles – Etiquette in Action
Remember Bruno…choose the path which keeps things intact, even if harder on you. Writing personal notes, being genuine. Honest
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AP/IPSOS Manners Poll
Handling Difficult Situations
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Reference: Emily Post Institute