answer quetion
jenny2000000
MFMarriage.pptxMarriage and Family Interaction F258
Biology of Love
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYfoGTIG7pY
Technology and Love & Dating
10% of people younger than 25 years old respond to social media and text messages during sex. ?!?!
There are Almost 8,000 Dating Sites in the World
Nearly 50 Million People Have Tried Online Dating
More Men Use Online Dating Than Women
Interests Outrank Looks (64% vs. 49%)
Technology and Dating
One in 10 Profiles are Fake
More Than 50% of Americans Lie on Their Profile
Men Lie About Money; Women Lie About Age
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WvvuLDX7iIk
Pros
Helpers…Matchmakers
More eyes on more things
Negotiations between families
Future consideration
More practical evaluation of the couple’s potential
Cons
Some couples have no part in the decision
No way out after the ceremony
Who takes responsibility if it is a bad match
Family Involved Mate Selection Commitment, Passion & Intimacy Where’s the Love?
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Love Based Mate Selection Commitment comes later…if at all
Pros
individual choice trumps religious, extended familial, or other community concerns or needs
What else?
Cons
individual choice does not always consider religious, extended familial, or other community concerns or needs
What else?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jodhovumkHQ
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What is Love? Who Could You Love?
List at least 5 ideal characteristics for a mate and 5 characteristics that are “deal breakers”
Answer these questions:
What influenced your choices and decisions?
How does your ideal reflect your upbringing, including both family and cultural influences?
In what ways do your parents contribute to your ideal image?
How would you know when you have found your ideal partner?
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Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love
6 different styles of Love
EROS
LUDUS
STORGE
PRAGMA
MANIA
AGAPE
LEE’s Styles of Love* 1973
Unhealthy Love What does it look like?
Communication in Relationships It’s about Quality not Quantity
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Chapter 10
What are your thoughts on these two statements:
“It is important to be completely honest in a relationship.”
“Sometimes, it’s better to ‘skirt the truth’ than to be completely honest.”
Is there ever a time when it’s better to be dishonest in a relationship?
How does the relationship recover when a dishonesty is discovered?
Is Honesty, the best policy?
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Sharing of ideas, feelings, needs, shared with another person
Sent through channels (verbal & body)
Consistent vs. mixed messages
Verbal & Nonverbal
Message
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Person who constructs message and sends it
May be intentional or unintentional
Arguing with spouse is intentional; children hearing argument may be unintentional
Sender
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Person who receives the message
Listener and decoder
May be intentional or unintentional receiver
If unintentional, may be no way of clarifying what was meant
May not be able to reveal it was heard
Receiver
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In order to send message, must first organize thoughts/gestures/phrasing so that they can be understood by the receiver
Encoding the Message
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Receiver makes sense of message by decoding it into feelings, intentions, and thoughts that mean something to them
May be difficult because decoder (listener) filters message through own perceptions and must cope with the filters of the sender and the environment
Decoding the Message
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Two basic forms of information
Cognitive Information
“thinking part”
Affective Information
“feeling part”
Communication: Exchange of Information
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Differences in Emphasis in Communication
Gender differences
Males tend to focus on cognitive elements
“Report talk”
Focus is on problem solving and on end result
More likely to use communication for competition
Females tend to focus on affective elements
“Rapport talk”
Focus is on the process rather than outcome
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyuWVKZchSA
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Generational/age differences
Power differential is at issue
Differences in ability to communicate
May speak different first language
Developmental ability to communicate
Normal for children—but remember that elderly may have had stroke or other communication problems
Content – what is communicated
Style – how it is communicated
Different colloquial language (slang)
Used to create or maintain the separateness
Secret language
Used to maintain separation from others
Differences in Emphasis in Communication
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Placater - pleases, apologizes, never disagrees, no matter what
Blamer – fault-finder, dictator, boss who acts superior to others
Computer - very correct, very reasonable, shows no semblance of feelings
Distracter - does or says irrelevant things to whatever anyone else is saying or doing
Leveler - straight-forward communication, no games, verbal and non-verbal communication is in congruence
Dysfunctional Communication Patterns (Satir)
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5 stages of a thriving relationship earthart 2015
| Romance | Power Struggle | Commitment | Growing | Thriving |
| Attraction Bonding Hopefulness Ecstacy Bliss Acting and being your best Seeing your partner’s best Giving freely without keeping score Passion Vitality | Reacting negatively and habitually Disillusionment Anger, annoyance, disappointment, confusion and frustration Conflict Secrets Disconnect Settling Lack of attraction Blame and criticism | Making whole hearted commitment to do whatever it takes to experience the best version of your love | Learning how to breakthrough gridlocked issues Applying new tools daily Becoming more intentional Greater ease Understanding Deepening connection | Safety and trust Spirit of teamwork and togetherness Healthy, open, and positive communication Feeling seen, heard, and valued Daily appreciation Fulfillment Connection True love |
Cohabiting Adults
Trends
Sexual Behavior and Satisfaction in
Marriage
Factors that raise sexual satisfaction
Factors that lower sexual satisfaction
Sexless union can be satisfying
–DINS (Dual income, no sex)
Secure(warm, loving supportive) : comfortable with intimacy, did not worry about being abandoned or someone getting too close
Avoidant (demanding, disrespectful, critical): independent, mistrustful of love partners, anxious about people getting close
Resistant (parents who respond unpredictably): fall in love quickly, merge with another person AND desperate about other person returning affection
Family Early Attachment Related to Adult Relationships Laura Berk
Family: where basis for future relationships happen but does not limit, can learn other ways to relate, nature/nurture re addiction, child maltreatment etc
Some of the ways intimacy play out has to do with early attachment: Ainsworth Studies from several countries and longitudinal
Secure-child happy when mom returns
Insecure-avoidant-doesn’t pay mom attention, mixed upon return
Insecure-Resistant-doesn’t explore, mad when mom returns
Disorganized info: not listed here
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Marriage
Trends in Marriage
Arranged-probably oldest form
Choose mate
Arranged Marriage>Romantic love/choice
TWO COMPLETELY SEPARATE THINGS
Anthropology-marriage and families
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZZYIBTvFAU
Family=2 or more people related by blood, marriage or adoption
Marriage
Video is 30 minutes long
Arranged: in most cultures it is assumed that people of college age are not mature enough to make important choices, still have matchmakers in many cultures, online dating interesting combination of arrangement and choice that makes some sense-except people lie!
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Household
Where families reside
Smallest economic unit within a culture
Consanguineal
People related by blood
Conjugal
People related by marriage
Fictive Kin
Declared a family member even though not related by blood or marriage
Adoption
Anthropological concepts of family: Institution where children are born, inheritance is decided
Learn these definitions
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Traditional
Serial
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgsJIVWRsuA
Monogamy: practiced most
Monogamy: ‘to marry one’, only marital form found in every culture, continuously throughout history and is most widely practiced, only 20% of worlds culture prefer this as their ONLY legal form of marriage, traditional: 1 man 1 woman til death, if widow/er remarries person who has not been married before still traditional serial: 1 man 1 woman at a time, divorce remarriage states where gay marriage is allowed these will be the only two forms that are legal , 25 marriages for woman in Indiana, since 2015 same sex marriage is federally legal but some state are still fighting it as a states rights issue
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Group Marriage
Multiple wives and
husbands
Polygyny
Man takes two or
more wives
Polyandry
Woman takes two or
more husbands
Polygamy: preferred most
Polyamory
Group marriage Hawaii http://hawaiiantimemachine.blogspot.com/2011/10/punalua-you-may-now-kiss-brides.html punalua
Polygyny show Big Love
African women https://vimeo.com/16364653
Not inherently oppressive,
Polyandry https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4yjrDSvze0&list=PL8228AA23C3AF97D6
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7HKmu3eMEk
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Gender Differences
Types of Marriages
Common Law/Cohabitating
Same-Sex
Domestic Partnerships
Arranged
Health Benefits
