Eng Comp 102 Essays

Media Analysis by Aakanksha Bhargava

Submission date: 11-Oct-2019 09:52PM (UTC-0400) Submission ID: 1191181916 File name: www_moodle_temp_turnitintool_526864342.Paper6-MediaAnalysis.docx (19.54K) Word count: 554 Character count: 2764

Heading/Head Format: Needs Attn.

Titles of PapersHook readers

1 2 Articles: a/an/the

Thesis: Needs Editing

TS for Analysis Papers

3

Syntax Error(s)

Prep.

Unity & Focus

Research: Use Throughout

WC

Transitions

Vary sentence starts

5

Citations: Study the how- tos

Writing quality

Research: make more use of

WC Page Format Incorrect

2% SIMILARITY INDEX

0% INTERNET SOURCES

0% PUBLICATIONS

2% STUDENT PAPERS

1 2%

Exclude quotes Off

Exclude bibliography On

Exclude matches < 3 words

Media Analysis ORIGINALITY REPORT

PRIMARY SOURCES

Submitted to University of California, Los Angeles Student Paper

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FINAL GRADE

1/1 Media Analysis GRADEMARK REPORT

GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

Hi Aakanksha: Your paper offers some interesting observations about the films characters. However. the many writing errors distract the audience and prevent clear meaning.

For more feedback about both strengths and weaknesses in your work, please review my in-text comments, keeping in mind that I marked only a few areas for demonstration.

All the best to you,

Maria S.

PAGE 1

Heading/Head Format: Needs Attn. | Format Please review the MLA guide and instructions to create proper paper headings and running heads.

Titles of Papers | Support The title should do 3 things: indicate the topic, indicate the purpose, and grab the reader's attn..

Hook readers | Support You can engage your readers more in this part of your writing. Hook their attention with interesting facts and background information about the topic.

Comment 1 | Format

Consul the MLA guide for how to mark film titles.

Comment 2 | Format

Check how to write dollar amounts.

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Articles: a/an/the | Grammar Articles can be tricky. Here is a helpful link: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/540/01/

Thesis: Needs Editing | Thesis Your thesis does well to offer a controlling idea, but it needed more editing for clear and correct writing.

TS for Analysis Papers | Support

In an analysis paper, the topic sentence of each body paragraph should reflect your analytical angle of the literary element the para.is examining.

Comment 3 | Language

This use of "the" here indicates that Joker is the only fictional character in the film, but we know that is not the case.

Syntax Error(s) | Grammar The syntax of this sentence contains a couple of errors. You might try reading aloud while editing to help hear awkward wording.

Prep. | Grammar Incorrect preposition: Some words must be used together with certain prepositions in order to create the meaning you intend. For example, to yell "to" someone is different from yelling "at" someone. Some confusion results from words such as "compare," which usually takes the preposition "to" when it refers to describing the resemblances between things that are not similar, and takes the preposition "with" when it describes the resemblances between things that are similar. Additional Comment

of

Unity & Focus | Organization Revise body paragraphs for unity and focus: 1 main idea per paragraph.

Research: Use Throughout | Research When called to use research, you want to integrate it throughout a paper. This paragraph does not document any source material. Explicit source use adds depth and credibility to ideas and statements. Check out this link: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/section/2/9/

WC | Language Word choice error: Sometimes choosing the correct word to express exactly what you have to say is very difficult to do. Word choice errors can be the result of not paying attention to the word or trying too hard to come up with a fancier word when a simple one is appropriate. A thesaurus can be a handy tool when you're trying to find a word that's similar to, but more accurate than, the one you're looking up. However, it can often introduce more problems if you use a word thinking it has exactly the same meaning.

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Transitions | Organization Transitional sentences work well to shift to move the reader forward smoothly and logically. Sometimes you can also use transitional expressions to alert the reader. See this link: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/574/01/

Strikethrough.

Vary sentence starts | Language

Vary sentence beginnings and structures. Do you hear the choppy repetition here?

PAGE 2

Comment 5 | Language

What does this mean? You may have the wrong word.

Citations: Study the how-tos | Research

Make the time to review how and where to cite source material. Here is one link to consult and study: https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/research_and_citation/mla_style/mla_formatting_and_style_guide/mla_formatting_and_style_guide.html

Writing quality | Language

The quality of writing obstructs clear meaning throughout the paper because of incorrect grammar, syntax, and word choices.

PAGE 3

Research: make more use of | Research

Try to make more use of research, integrating it throughout a paper.

WC Page Format Incorrect | Format WC Page: This page is not in MLA style. Always consult the style guide for precise style and format. Here is a link to help you: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/747/12/

RUBRIC: ENG102V3 MEDIA ANALYSIS_DRAFT

THESIS

INADEQUATE

BELOW AVERAGE

AVERAGE

ABOVE AVERAGE

SUPERIOR

SUPPORT

INADEQUATE

BELOW AVERAGE

AVERAGE

ABOVE AVERAGE

SUPERIOR

ORGANIZATION

Below Average

Thesis & Focus: Thesis, focus on single element of media, central idea, audience, purpose, digressions

Lacks an identifiable thesis. Limited or no awareness of audience and purpose. Focus is unclear. Readers cannot discern the essay’s central idea.

Thesis was attempted but unclear and/or inconsistently addressed. Focus might be unclear or muddled between more than one part of chosen media. Reveals limited awareness of audience and purpose. Central idea either lacking or inconsistently addressed.

Thesis is identifiable, but perhaps too narrow, too broad, or otherwise problematic. Focus is clear but perhaps digresses some. Awareness of audience may be adequate but inconsistent. Central idea is perhaps too general and supported by irrelevant examples.

Thesis is established and is consistently addressed throughout most of the paper. Focus is limited to ONE part of chosen media. Awareness of audience and purpose is sufficient. Central idea is clear and maintained in most of the essay.

Thesis is clearly established and maintained throughout the entire paper. Focus is limited to ONE part of chosen media. Paper demonstrates a sophisticated awareness of audience and purpose. Central idea/focus maintained throughout.

Below Average

Support & Development Thesis support, thesis development, analysis of media, use of examples, logic, and reason

No support of thesis with relevant facts, examples, reasons, or evidence. Body of essay fails to analyze chosen media. Topic development is flawed or non-existent.

Support is minimal, logically flawed, and/or inaccurate. Body of essay analyzes chosen media very ineffectively. Topic development may have been attempted, but does not form conclusions and/or fails to exhibit clear reasoning.

More support is needed. Some examples may be vague. Body of essay analyzes chosen media, perhaps ineffectively. Some irrelevant support may be present, but most evidence supports thesis.

Support is sufficient but perhaps flawed in some way. Body of essay analyzes chosen media effectively. Examples are sufficient. Thesis is supported and developed in most paragraphs.

Essay completely supports the thesis with logical arrangement of evidence. Body of essay analyzes chosen media very effectively. All assertions are supported and relate to thesis.

Average

Coherence & Organization: Introduction, conclusion, body paragraphs, transitions, topic sentences

INADEQUATE

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SUPERIOR

LANGUAGE

INADEQUATE

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SUPERIOR

No clear introduction, body, or conclusion. Little-to-no transitions. Demonstrates little-to-no understanding of organization. Many sentences within paragraphs do not relate to each other and/or the paragraph’s topic. May contain no discernible topic sentences.

Introduction, body, and conclusion attempted but problematic. Few transitions. Perhaps numerous digressions. Mostly missing or problematic topic sentences. Demonstrates little understanding of organization.

Identifiable introduction, body, and conclusion; yet one significant weakness is present: undeveloped introduction, undeveloped conclusion, illogical paragraph order. Adequate transitions, perhaps some digressions. Some paragraphs may lack clear topic sentences. Demonstrates basic understanding of organization.

Clear introduction, body, and conclusion although improvements could be made. Most paragraphs have clear topic sentences. Essay establishes a clear plan of development. Transitions are clear throughout most of the paper. Demonstrates good understanding of organization.

Clear and effective introduction, body, and conclusion: Introduction establishes the essay’s main idea, and conclusion summarizes thesis and main ideas without merely copying and pasting from the introduction. Clear and effective transitions are present throughout the paper. Demonstrates excellent understanding of organization.

Inadequate

Language & Style: Word choice, repetition, redundancy, awkwardness, article misuse, wrong word form (their/there, etc.), typos/misspellings, vocabulary

May contain more than 6 errors in word choice, wordiness, redundancy, or awkwardness. May contain more than 6 errors in inappropriate language for academic audience. Fails to demonstrate competent language use; sentences and vocabulary are inappropriate, facile, and/or incoherent.

May contain 6 errors in word choice, wordiness, redundancy, or awkwardness. May contain 6 errors in inappropriate language for academic audience. Contains repetitive, incorrect, and/or insufficient sentence structure and/or limited vocabulary.

May contain 4 – 5 errors in word choice, wordiness, redundancy, or awkwardness. May contain 2 – 3 errors in inappropriate language for academic audience. Demonstrates competency with language use but sentence constructions and vocabulary may be limited or repetitive.

May contain 2 – 3 errors in word choice, wordiness, redundancy, or awkwardness. May contain 2 – 3 errors in inappropriate language for academic audience. Demonstrates sufficient knowledge and skill with varied sentence construction and vocabulary. Unnecessary repetition is minor.

May contain 1 error in word choice, wordiness, redundancy, or awkwardness. May contain 1 error in inappropriate language for academic audience. Demonstrates sophisticated knowledge and skill with varied and complex sentence construction and vocabulary. Little- to-no unnecessary repetition.

GRAMMAR

INADEQUATE

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PUNCTUATION

INADEQUATE

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SUPERIOR

FORMAT

INADEQUATE

BELOW AVERAGE

AVERAGE

Inadequate

Grammar: Fragments, subject-verb agreement, verb tense errors, verb form errors, run-ons, pronoun agreement

Contains more than 5 different grammar errors. The identical 3 – 4 errors may be repeated throughout.

Contains 4 – 5 different grammar errors. The identical 2 – 3 errors may be repeated throughout.

Contains 2 – 3 different grammar errors. The identical 1 – 2 errors may be repeated throughout.

Contains 1 grammar error, which may be repeated throughout the essay.

Contains either no grammar errors, or 1 – 2 different errors with no repetition.

Superior

Punctuation & Capitalization: Comma errors, comma splices, apostrophe errors, capitalization errors, semicolon errors, colon errors

Contains more than 5 different punctuation/capitalization errors. The identical 3 – 4 errors may be repeated throughout.

Contains 4 – 5 different punctuation/capitalization errors. The identical 2 – 3 errors may be repeated throughout.

Contains 2 – 3 different punctuation/capitalization errors. The identical 1 – 2 errors may be repeated throughout.

Contains 1 punctuation/capitalization error, which may be repeated throughout the essay.

Contains either no punctuation/capitalization error, or 1 – 2 different errors with no repetition.

Below Average

Format: heading, title, margins, spacing, length, underlined thesis, other assignment-specific required elements *Length for Media Analysis is 500 words minimum

Doesn’t meet formatting requirements: Formatting may be missing four or more elements (either no title, incomplete heading, inappropriate spacing or margins, or thesis not underlined). Length may not meet minimum requirements.

Doesn’t meet most formatting requirements: Formatting may be missing three elements (either no title, incomplete heading, inappropriate spacing or margins, or thesis not underlined). Length may not meet minimum requirements.

Meets some formatting requirements: Formatting may be missing two elements (either no title, incomplete heading, inappropriate spacing or margins, or thesis not underlined). Length may not meet minimum requirements.

ABOVE AVERAGE

SUPERIOR

RESEARCH

INADEQUATE

BELOW AVERAGE

AVERAGE

ABOVE AVERAGE

SUPERIOR

Meets most formatting requirements: Formatting may be missing one element (either no title, incomplete heading, inappropriate spacing or margins, or thesis not underlined). Length meets minimum requirements of 500 words.

Meets all requirements. Formatting is appropriate in terms of heading, title, margins, spacing, underlining thesis. Length meets minimum requirements of 500 words.

Inadequate

Source minimums, incorporation of sources (including use of signal phrases), use of research to argue topic, MLA in-text quote formatting, Works Cited list This paper requires at least two sources: chosen media + one other source.

Source minimum requirements are not met. Research is insufficient, irrelevant, or inadequate. Sources are not incorporated at all, or are done very poorly. Five or more errors in documenting sources using MLA style may be present. Works Cited page either omitted or formatted very poorly. It may be difficult or impossible to discern which sources are in the list.

Source requirements may not be met (Note: If source minimum is not met, the essay will score no higher than 2 in this category). Research is superficial and/or sources are incorporated poorly. No more than four different errors in documenting sources using MLA style may be present. These identical errors may be repeated. Works Cited page may contain significant formatting errors, and some sources may be omitted from the list.

Source requirements are met. Research may be superficial, sources may be poorly incorporated. No more than three different errors in documenting sources using MLA style may be present. These identical errors may be repeated. Works Cited page may contain significant formatting errors, but all sources are listed.

Source requirements are met. Fairly thorough research with mostly effective use of sources. No more than two different errors in documenting sources using MLA style. These identical two errors may be repeated. Works Cited page may contain minor formatting errors, but all sources are clearly listed.

Source requirements are met. Thoroughly researches the topic, uses sources effectively. No more than one different error in documenting sources using MLA style. This identical error may be repeated. Works Cited page may contain minor formatting errors, but all sources are clearly listed.