Meaning-Making Forum #2

Rapport and Relational Alignment

Even if we are in the fourth stage of our sessions it is imperative that Brody feels that I am here for him. Trust must be continually cultivated between us. I must keep encouraging and supporting him through his progress, while directing him towards the achievements of his goals. As his counselor, Brody must see me as a fellow traveler that walks along side him through the path of healing.[footnoteRef:1] Even when facing possible set-backs, Brody must feel supported and have someone to guide him to new alternatives. Through guidance and support, the relations with his father have gotten better. He has understood that his father is also in the grieving process and has given their relationship a change to heal and grow amidst this adversity. [1: Charles Allen Kollar, Solution-Focused Pastoral Counseling: An Effective Short-Term Approach for getting People Back on Track, (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2011), 201.]

Phase Four Distinctive Feature

Goal: This stage is dedicated to help Brody rely less on counseling and focus more on relying on his support group. He has been participating in the church’s music team. He must begin to rely on the praise and worship pastor, the team’s members, and his friends. As soon as this happens, he will be able to finish with our sessions.

Chief Aim: It is important for us to review some of the aspects of our sessions. Brody must be aware of the tools and experiences he has gained in the process. These tools will help him move forward on his own during the weeks to come. Our next sessions will include support and encouragement, while I begging to disengage and push him to move on his own. Brody must begin to value his self-worth and keep creating a positive mind-set. I will remain a watchful friend in whom he can count in moments of need.

Role/Responsibility: Another purpose of this stage is to help Brody discover and uncover his strengths and abilities. Even if we are co-creators of solutions, Brody must begin to create solutions and opportunities on his own. In his changing life he must be aware that he has the tools needed to make decisions and live a happy and fruitful life.

Behavioral Position: Encouraging Brody to keep participating in the music ministry and engaging with the members is necessary for him to move forward. It will build confidence in him and help him widen his support group.

Guiding Assumptions: Since grief is a lingering process that can last a long time[footnoteRef:2], I must continue to walk alongside Brody while guiding him towards what God has designed for him. [2: Tim Clinton and Ron Hawkins, The Quick-Reference Guide to Biblical Counseling, (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2009), 130.]

Supportive Feedback Break

As part of our sessions I will ask Brody to share with me and describe positive changes and events in his life. By doing so Brody will gain confidence and continue to take control of his life and emotions. We will use the successes in these experiences to focus on achieving those goals that he set for himself.

It is important that I let Brody know that he has made good progress. He has to understand that the person that came in during the first session is not the same one that is talking with me today. He has become more mature, self-aware, and has begun to take control. His interactions with the music team, his family and friends have opened the doors to healing and positive experiences. Brody is progressing towards healing.

Phase Four Marker

Brody has acknowledge that it is because God’s grace and his own efforts that he has gotten this far in his process. We have discussed that my role is a supportive one and that the process is the Lord’s and his own. He has understood that God has plans for him filled with hope (Jer. 29:11). He is willing to move towards God’s purpose for his life. The counselee has begun to play with the music team in his church. He has made friends in the group and is committed to the team and worshiping God through his new found talent.

Brody has begun to talk to his brother and father. They are strengthening their family bond and have begun to rely on each other for support and strength. These are signs of growth, healing and a forward movement. I am confident that he is ready to face the weeks to come all by himself. I will end the sessions and encourage him to use everything he has learned in this process. I will be watchful and remain a friend in case he needs assistance in the future.

Food for Thought

Ephesians 4 states that the gifts God has given us are to be used to equip the church so its members reach the stature of Christ. As counselors this must be our goal. Through guidance, support, and care we must lead our counselees towards attaining the stature of the perfect man. Counseling must rely on pastoral care, missional and evangelistic mind-set, teaching moments, and establishing His church in people’s hearts.

A counselor must rely on Christ, always. This ministry may put a heavy burden on the counselor. The truth is there is no burden that He can not make easy to bare. The counselor need to seek God’s face constantly. We must also work to demonstrate Christ’s character at all times.

Even when this ministry relies on Christ love and word, it is important to study and understand mental health issues. We must understand what we’re up against and use both scientific and scriptural knowledge to lead counselees to healing.