Intro to Marr/Fam Couns
Maria Moua, MA, LMFT
Guest Speaking at Intro to MFT Course – University of St. Thomas
My 3 S’s
1. Set-up (aka Structure)
2. Supervision
3. Safety protocols
I believe there is a difference between a good therapist and a GREAT therapist. 10 steps to being a GREAT therapist.
1. Know your theoretical framework - a great therapist knows what they are doing and can explain why. Their success rate is higher bc their work is evidenced based practice. Intuition and natural gifts are good, but can only go so far. In order to get respect in your job and have a higher chance of trust is by standing on the foundation of the well- established. No one is going to listen to you initially if you start off “this is what I think.” But if you say “from a Structural Theory perspective...”
3. Be willing to be stretched. Most of you will be doing your first jobs/internship on an intensive level. Know that it pays off in the long run. 1 year of in-home = 5 years outpatient. There is no easy pathway to becoming the best.
4. Stand firm to your morals: Honesty, Respect, & Do No Harm. There are people who are going to try to compromise you. If you give in, you’re not going to like what you see in the mirror. You might become suicidal
5. Meat of the sandwich: Leave work at work and home at home. Know your self-worth is not defined by your work performance. Create a cleansing ritual. Set your priorities: Self-care first. Marriage second. Children third. Everything else after.
6. Walk the talk. It’s hard to sell something you’re not willing to buy. Your colleagues won’t refer patients to you. Your patients aren’t stupid. You can tell by your caseload and your retention rate
7. Learn how to have the highest success rate: getting patient buy-in; high retention rate; and no repeated complaints/issues after working with them after discharge.
8. Structure of therapy: systems issue instead of problem child; parent empowerment; know how your next 6-8 sessions are going to look like.
9. Empathy. Empathy. Empathy. Everyone is going to hate at least one of their patients. Everyone experiences transference and countertransference. Increasing Empathy is your #1 tool to Decreasing irritation & Frustration.
10. Let go of your pride. This is something even 10-years and doctors still struggle with and never refer a patient out. Be willing to say “I don’t know.” Ask for help. Get your own counseling. As a newbie know that your supervisor doesn’t expect a 10-year. Don’t beat yourself up.