training manual for conflict management
manuelledezma
ManagingConflictThroughComm.pptxIntroduction to the Study of Conflict Communication
DEFINING INTERPERSONAL CONFLICT
Interpersonal conflict is a problematic situation with four unique characteristics:
The conflicting parties are interdependent.
They have the perception that they seek incompatible goals or outcomes or they favor incompatible means to the same ends.
The perceived incompatibility has the potential to adversely affect the relationship if not addressed.
There is a sense of urgency about the need to resolve the difference.
Interpersonal conflicts occur with people who are important to us and who we expect to continue seeing or working with in the future.
INEVITABILITY OF CONFLICT
As relationships become closer, personal and more interdependent, conflict is more likely, hence inevitable. (inevitability of conflict principle)
Conflict is inevitable whether it’s overt or hidden.
Overt: E.g. Yelling, screaming, swearing etc.
Hidden: E.g. Giving each other the silent treatment, purposely avoiding eye contact, sending mixed messages to each others etc.
CAUSES
Incompatible goals: We seek different outcomes.
Incompatible means: We have different opinions on how to achieve the same goal.
Cultural divides
Ethnic
Racial
Religious groups
Political and values barriers
Conservatives vs. liberals
Gender gaps between the sexes
Economic and power divides between upper and lower classes
Age barriers between younger and older citizens
EFFECTS
Mismanaged conflicts could adversely affect relationships:
People feel uncomfortable when together (may want to exit etc.)
People feel dissatisfied with partners (refuse to forgive, seek revenge etc.)
People have desire to change (Apathetic/disinterested)
Sense of Urgency
Effective conflict management is needed before someone reaches their breaking point.
SOLUTION
Build bridges through communication
Take time out of your busy schedules.
Pay attention to matters you may consider unimportant.
Spend money and allocate often-limited resources.
Listen to people you would like to ignore.
SOLUTION
Produce satisfaction in long-term relationships:
Love- Nonverbal expressions of positive regard, warmth, or comfort
Status- Verbal expressions of high or low prestige or esteem
Service- Labor or one for another
Information- Advice, opinions, instructions or enlightenment
Goods- Material items
Money- Financial contributions
Shared time- Time spent together
In the best kind of long term relationship, partners believe they get what they deserve.
CONFLICT MANAGEMENT VS CONFLICT RESOLUTION
Conflict Management: Communication behavior a person employs based on his/her analysis of a conflict situation.
Involves alternative ways of dealing with conflict (including resolution or avoidance).
Conflict Resolution: One alternative in which parties solve a problem or issue and expect it not to arise again.
CONFLICT MANAGEMENT AS A SKILL
You have a choice when faced with conflict.
You need to have a meta-conflict perspective to manage conflict effectively:
You can take a look back on the conflicts you have experienced.
Analyze what you did well and what you did poorly.
Learn from your mistakes.
Conflict Management as a skill cont’d
Developing Competency:
Repeat skill as necessary.
Perform skill without hesitation.
Practice.
Use knowledge about the way conflict works.
Exercise the skills that are used in conflict situations.
CONFLICT MODELS OF COMMUNICATION
Linear Model
Elements: Sender, Receiver, Channel, Noise, Feedback
Emphasizes accuracy
Limits our view of interpersonal conflict as something we do to someone.
Often results in blaming, when in fact, both parties contributed to the conflict
May result in name calling, yelling etc.
Transactional Model
Emphasizes managing and coordinating rather than the end product of communicating.
Uses verbal & nonverbal messages to better understand each other’s perspective and create a shared meaning.
CONFLICT COMMUNICATION PROCESSES
A process is dynamic, ongoing, and continuous (Objects, people, events & social situations)
Processes have the following characteristics:
Stages or phases of development through growth or deterioration.
History in which a distinctive pattern emerges.
Consist of continual change over time.
Ingredients that affect one another.
May/may not lead to the next stage (depending on the ingredients).
Represent some outcome, stage, or state of being.
Like a picture or a single frame in a film.
A PROCESS VIEW OF CONFLICT
The way we talk about something reflect that we don’t have a process perspective e.g. “the happy couple,” “a divorced person,” or “an ex-convict”—which suggests that people do not change.
If we fail to see conflict as a process, we will not be able to manage it well. When we don’t take a process view:
When we see something as unchanging.
When we see something as having no history.
When we see something at its present age only, not a stage in development.
When we do not consider the ingredients that make up something.
A Process View of Conflict cont’d
Conflict Communication: A process of exchanging verbal and nonverbal messages in a conflict situation that starts with antecedents, moves through steps, and ends with consequences.
A process view of conflict communication reflects an awareness that our lives consists of events influencing subsequent events.
A Process View of Conflict cont’d
A process view of conflict suggest that conflict moves through five stages:
Prelude to conflict
Triggering event
Initiation of conflict
Differentiation phase
Resolution phase
A Process View of Conflict cont’d
Prelude to conflict comprises four variables:
The participants in the conflict situation (number, age, sex etc.)
The relationship between them (which may vary in closeness and distribution of power) and their conflict history.
Other interested parties to the conflict (including bystanders).
The physical and social environment of the conflict situation (a party in someone’s home, a meeting at work, dinner with family or friends).
A Process View of Conflict cont’d
Triggering event:
A behavior that the parties in the conflict point to as the issue, problem, or focal point of the conflict.
The parties involved don’t always point to the same behavior as the trigger for the conflict. Two different events could result in two conflicts occurring at the same time.
Initiation phase:
Response.
Occurs when conflict becomes overt.
A Process View of Conflict cont’d
Differentiation phase:
Parties use constructive or destructive strategies/tactics.
Presenting both sides of the story, moving back & forth, escalating & de-escalating conflict.
Participants may begin to progress through the stages and stop or return to previous stage.
Serves beneficial purpose.
Allows parties to explain their how they think conflict emerged, and what they want to happen as a result of the conflict.
The following affects how conflict proceeds:
The relationship
The conflict history of the participants
Preferred styles of navigating conflicts
A Process View of Conflict
Resolution:
Occurs when those involved accept some outcome to the conflict.
Ideally, both participants are satisfied with the outcome.
Less ideal, the issue is settled temporarily.
Worse case scenario occurs when the dominant partner make a decision for both parties.
Remember…
Each conflict is different.
Conflict process is a cycle.
What happens in one conflict affects how we think about future conflicts.
How a conflict is managed affects the way future conflicts are managed.
Successful resolution reinforces positive thoughts about conflict.
Success of conflict is based on participants’ view.
Conflict communication is productive when participants are all satisfied, and think they have gained from conflict.
Sometimes participants are satisfied even when the problem is not resolved.
In some cases, participants only need the other party to show concern for their feelings, and to pay attention to their wants, needs or interests.
VIEWS OF CONFLICT
The way a conflict is addressed determines outcome:
Destructive conflict
Productive conflict
Views of Conflict: Destructive Conflict
Destructive conflict occurs when:
The parties do not manage a conflict in a way that is mutually satisfactory and does harm to their relationship.
Participants lose sight of their original goals, when hostility becomes the norm, when mismanaged conflicts become a regular part of the interaction between people.
There is an increase in the number of issues, number of people involved, costs to the participants, and intensity of negative feelings.
There is a desire to hurt the other party.
Overt power and manipulative techniques are used.
Views of Conflict: Productive Conflict
Productive conflict occurs when:
A conflict is kept to the issue and to those involved.
There is a desire to help the other person.
There is a desire to let go of past feelings.
There is no escalation and loss of control.
There is an awareness of options in conflict situations.
Overt and manipulative techniques are not used.
There is flexibility and a belief that all conflicting parties can achieve their goals.
Views of Conflict: Destructive or Productive?
What Is Your View of Conflict?
Views of Conflict: Negative
Many people dislike using the term “conflict”
People generally want to settle conflict as soon as possible
Conflict is usually associated with negative feelings
Negative attitude towards conflict hinders us from learning how to better manage conflict.
The metaphor we use for conflict will affect how you see the situation.
Conflict is like…
A battle
A garden
A sport
View of Conflict: Conflict Metaphors
Explosive Heroic Adventure Dance
What other metaphors can you think of?
Views of Conflict: Positive
See conflict as an opportunity to solve problems and improve relationships.
Changed mind: Adapt mind-set to see conflict as opportunity while recognizing risks involved in it.
Conflict is solvable: There might not be easy solutions as conflict can be complex.
CIVILITY
Civility- Attitude of respect towards others manifested in our behavior towards them.
Incivility- Can become so intense it is characterized as bullying.
EXERCISING CIVILITY
Relative isolation often can lead us to act rude towards others.
Let go of the right to “always be right” or “win an argument”
You may give up the need to be heard for the greater good of the relationship.
Don’t suppress conflict but stop and think whether speaking up is for the good of everyone.
How we treat others should be independent of what we think of them.
Exercising Civility cont’d
Don’t respond when you are in an emotionally charged situation. Don’t say the wrong thing.
Use respectful words.
Use temperate and accurate words (not inflammatory) when commenting on ideas, issues and persons.
Use objective, nondiscriminatory language that respects everyone’s uniqueness.
Use clean language (no profanity).
Come in the presence of others in awe and gratitude, rather than obligation.
CLASS ACTIVITY
In groups of 5-7, discuss one of the following:
Describe your family. With whom in your family do you have the most conflict? What can we conclude about family conflicts?
Some argue that humans have an instinct for conflict. Is it an inborn trait? Does it make us more or less human?
In problematic situations, how do you respond to the important people in your life? Do you deny that a problem exists, change the subject, or avoid the problematic person?
