Assignment-Dropbox
abparsley
ManagingConflict-Unit312.pptxManaging Conflict
Unit 3
Summary
It is one thing to know that conflict is inevitable and to discover the numerous causes and effects of conflict. It is quite another thing to gain an understanding of how to resolve conflict and to acquire the skills necessary to manage conflict effectively. Because conflict permeates every aspect of social environments, all managers at one time or another will practice conflict management. When left unmanaged, conflict can be extremely costly – both monetarily and otherwise. In order to avoid learning the hard way, this module proves some recommendations to help managers effectively deal with conflict in their groups and organizations.
Keys to Resolving Conflict
Resolving conflict is a very complex skill, and is one of the more difficult challenges facing managers. It is important to remember that everyone is different, and everyone responds differently to conflict and the tactics you may use to manage conflict. Therefore keep in mind that it is important to use a contingent (case-by-case) approach to dealing with conflict.
In addition to managing conflict differently depending on what, when, where, and who is involved, your approach will certainly differ depending on whether you are one of the actors involved in the conflict, or if you are playing more of a mediator role.
Keys to Resolving Conflict
Click here to read more about what conflict is and how to approach resolving it.
Managing Interpersonal Conflict
When you find yourself involved in conflict with another, you should:
Don’t take it personally – A lot of times people’s reactions to conflict are emotional (i.e. raising voice, crying, etc.) and they often feel the need to express those emotions. This does not mean it is really about you. Thus, don’t assume the worst, and don’t assume the emotional outbursts of others are directed at you personally (even though they probably are verbalizing them that way)
Managing Interpersonal Conflict (continued)
When you find yourself involved in conflict with another, you should:
Control your emotions and move forward – if you tend to take things personally and get mad, then controlling this defensive response is very important. Don’t dwell on the emotion – instead, focus on moving forward and overcoming the obstacle. Instead of focusing on the feeling you have about it, try one of these useful strategies:
Counting – this age-old advice is logically and empirically sound. Try it when you begin to get angry and want to respond.
Remove yourself – physically distancing yourself often helps emotions subside
Write out what you want to say – most people think this sounds silly, but it is very effective because it helps you to see and label your emotions, and it helps you to have a better idea of how the other person will react to what you say.
Managing Interpersonal Conflict (continued)
When you find yourself involved in conflict with another, you should:
Collaborate and appeal to mutual self-interests
Using collaborative language such as “we” and “us” instead of “I” and “you” helps parties to search for resolutions that will satisfy each other’s interests.
Put yourself in the other person’s shoes – this saying is much easier said than done!
Most individuals do the opposite – try to convince other to see their side of the story.
First, try to see things from the other person’s perspective.
Active listening – listening shows the other person you do care about their interests and resolving the problem.
Ask open ended questions
Don’t judge the things they say
Don’t interrupt – Let them finish before you respond (the other person needs to feel as though they have been heard)
Manager as Mediator
When disputing subordinates come to you, or you find yourself in the midst of conflict between others, you should:
Try to separate the disputing parties from the initial emotional exchange
Separating parties physically helps minimize emotions
Try suggesting a short break before getting both parties together with you shortly – make sure to meet with them together first, so they don’t perceive partiality.
Separate the person from the problem – in conflict, there is a problem and a person; try to separate the two.
Focus on WHAT, not who
Listen to both sides
Don’t be partial (remember, this is natural – so you focus on the what, not the who)
Don’t make judgements (make sure to hear both parties out before offering any recommendations)
Manager as Mediator (continued)
When disputing subordinates come to you, or you find yourself in the midst of conflict between others, you should:
Encourage each side to control their emotions
Help them to see the other’s point of view
Help them to listen to each other without interjecting, judging, or rebutting
Restate what each party is saying – parties often argue over things because they don’t understand what the other party is saying.
Help by summarizing what each party is saying
Make sure to ask for confirmation from the parties so that things are clear
Use neutral language (e.g. “I understand you to mean that…”)
Help others to collaborate and appeal to mutual self-interests
You may need to help parties define the issues in terms of mutual interests
Help parties use “us” and “we” instead of the typical “I” “me” “you” (e.g. “I think we all want the same things here, and the only way for us to achieve that is to work together to meet all of our interests.”
Managing Emotions in Conflict
Many of the points raised above allude to the importance of managing emotions in situations of conflict. This is because the emotions experienced during conflict greatly affect how people interact.
When we are able to enhance Positive Emotions it is more likely to lead to:
Integrative negotiation – trying to reach mutually beneficial outcomes
Each party has a more positive attitude about the other party
Parties practice more persistence and perseverance in resolving disputes
Parties practice more fair and just procedures for resolving conflict
Parties form more favorable comparisons with the other party – making them more likely to see the other parties’ perspective.
Managing Emotions in Conflict (continued)
When Negative Emotions arise it is more likely to lead to:
Competitive reactions – whereby parties want to win rather than work together
Undermine an individual’s ability to analyze a situation accurately and objectively
Escalate to a level that will be more difficult to control
Lead parties to retaliate against the other party
Keep parties from reaching an agreement – essentially hurting both parties.
Constructive Feedback
Providing feedback stimulates an environment that increases the likelihood of conflict. In general, people do not like criticism, and often become personally offended when given advice on things to improve (even when that feedback is meant to be helpful). Couple that with the fact that many people are ineffective at delivering constructive feedback, creates a situation that can easily escalate into a negative interaction. The following slides recommend steps to avoid such disaster.
Steps for Giving Feedback
Conduct a “self-check” – ask yourself the purpose of the feedback.
If the reason you want to give someone feedback is to lay into them or to let off steam, it is probably not a good time. Wait until you can be constructive.
Empathize – try to be understanding of what they are experiencing, how critiques may be perceived
e.g. “I understand that you have been…..”
Pinpoint problems – identify issues that need corrected; avoid broad statements.
e.g. “The project was due on the 15th, but I did not receive it until the 20th”
Move forward – then suggest a way to move forward (you may even involve them in coming up with ideas for how to proceed)
e.g. “What do you think can be done to ensure that….”
Steps for Receiving Feedback
Listen carefully and seek out feedback
Pay full attention and stop distracting activities (like looking a computer, cell phone, etc.)
Be sure you understand what is communicated.
Ask questions to clarify what is being said like “what I am hearing is…”
Thank the person for providing feedback
This shows that you appreciate the person taking time
Reflect on the feedback.
Consider how the feedback can help you improve and how the feedback may lessen the likelihood of conflict taking a negative turn.
