Argumentative Research Paper(First draft and final draft)

Lissette Gonzalez

Peer Response for Rinchin Lama’s “Why Homosexuals need to be Legalized to Adopt Children”

In my opinion, the strength of your paper is the emotional appeal it contains. It is very saddening that many children are thrown into the foster care system with no one to protect or love them. The way you explained how homosexuals could be a solution to this problem flowed smoothly. The thesis is, “Adoption to the gays and lesbians should be legalized because it can help in building a positive psychological effect on the children. Another reason why lesbianism should be legalized is that it will help different nations to become more open-minded and providing the gays and lesbians the happiness experienced by other people with children”

Your reasons supporting your claim are strong. I think the thesis would be even stronger if you combined your reasons into one sentence not two. The paper is clearly persuasive and contains very good arguments. I see no obvious errors with the formatting. The sources have a hanging indents and are in ABC order.

The author uses quotes from the sources. Although, it seems that you forgot to place quotation marks on one of your sentences in the 3rd paragraph.

Could you expand the reasons adoption by homosexuals cause positive psychological impact on children? It would be great to have a few examples of the positivity.

For the most part, I think your paper is great! Just needs a few small adjustments.