LETTER REPLY
sana_6113939
letterpart2.docxTHIS IS A 2 PART Assignment 750 words
PART1 (50 word)
Instructions:
First, watch the video on empathy (Links to an external site.) then complete the activity below.
Activity
Purpose:
To get students accustomed to empathizing in difficult situations
Procedures:
1. It is easy to empathize with people we like and agree with, but the real test of the ability to empathize is with someone we don’t like or disagree with.
2. Think of a real interpersonal conflict that they are having or have had. You won’t be asked to share the conflict unless they want to, but it must be real.
3. Answer the following prompts regarding your personal conflict:
· I am right about ___________________________
· You are wrong about __________________________
· You are right about __________________________
· I am wrong about _________________________
· I’m glad we are having this conflict because _______________
· I’m upset we are having this conflict because ____________________
· In one year this conflict ____________________________
· You might think there is nothing the other person is right about, remember this is a forced empathy exercise.
4. Once you are done with the seven prompts and every blank has been filled in, write how you feel about the conflict now versus how they felt about the conflict before you did the seven prompts. It doesn’t matter how small (or how big) the change is, just the slightest difference in the conflict should be documented.
Submitting the assignment:
Upload a file (PDF or DOC)
PART 2 (350 words each)
Instructions:
You will need the book to link the scenario..i will post the pdf with the assignment
Please take the time to read through the "Dear Professor" letters posted below and respond to 2 of your peers. It is important to ensure that every person gets 2 officially graded responses, so if one "Dear Professor" letter already has 2 official replies, you need to pick another one. Also, it is imperative that they get different advice in each reply, so pick a different class learning resource and outside resource to share.
If you feel compelled to provide feedback to a person who already has 2 official responses, that is certainly okay!! In fact, it's awesome. I think you will be moved, as I was, by the interpersonal issues that your peers are hoping to resolve. Make sure that you complete your official 2 replies first, and then, if you just want to encourage someone beyond the 2 required for this discussion board assignment, simply do it informally without using the framework below.
1. Identify what you think the issue is for both participants mentioned in the Dear Sara letter. Offer general advice that you would give a friend that doesn't need to be connected to this class or outside research.
2. Provide advice connected to something from our Learning Resources (readings, videos, etc.) that pertains to this situation. Make the chapter and the concept bold. Any chapter that we have studied so far works, and I think you will find many logical connections in verbal communication, perception, interpersonal conflict, emotions, listening, and communication climate chapters.
3. Conduct some research to find an article or video that you think might be helpful in addressing this interpersonal communication issue. Provide a brief summary of the resource, explain why you selected it, and provide a link to it.
Example:
1. Thank you, Feeling Unloved, for sharing your disappointment with the way that your parents communicate with you. As a parent, I know we don't always do things right, but I truly believe that your parents value you even if they are not skilled at communicating that. It sounds to me like their attempts to make decisions for you are the greatest point of frustration for you both, and that you don't feel loved when you don't feel heard. I suspect your parents are trying to show love by protecting you and you are trying to receive love through feeling trusted and affirmed.
2. I think the chapter on perception is really helpful for your scenario. The perception checking method might be a good way to start the conversation about decision making and displays of affection. For example, when I say "I love you" and you don't respond, it makes me wonder if you don't love me too, or if it is just really uncomfortable for you to say out loud. I'm trying to think of other ways you show me those words, but I am really struggling to come up with examples. Can you help me understand why these words aren't part of our relationship?
3. Here is a website (Links to an external site.) (https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/) that describes Gary Chapman's book called The 5 Love Languages. It explains that individuals like to receive and give love in different ways: Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Acts of Service, Physical Touch. There is a video, a written description of each, and even a quiz at the bottom so that you can learn about your preferred love languages. Perhaps you and your family could use this as part of your conversation to resolve this issue. It sounds like you are wanting words of affirmation, and maybe your dad is communicating his love with time or gifts. Knowing these categories has changed the way that I view others and how I show love to others. Good luck! I hope that you are able to work this out.
*Note: There is no need to reply to the advice your peers are providing. The reason that you signed your letter with a unique name (i.e., Feeling Unloved) is to protect anonymity. If you would like to thank someone for their advice, I would encourage you to send him or her an inbox message.
Choose 2 of the 3
Letter 1
Dear Professor,
My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over four years. We started dating in highschool, which has its ups and downs, but ultimately has allowed us to grow with one another. We’ve gone far beyond the honeymoon phase, shared our deepest and innermost feelings, sometimes argued and fought, but most importantly, have been there for each other for the darkest moments of our lives, thus far. Despite not each moment spent together being “picture perfect,” I truly cherish the memories we’ve made together. Although we’ve bonded heavily over the things we enjoy, we are quite different people when it comes to our personalities and our parents’ teachings. He can be seen as an introvert that recharges by himself, but is very social and outgoing in public settings. In contrast, I am completely introverted in all situations. I keep to myself for the most part because that’s how I was raised in an Asian household. My parents were opposed to the idea of me showing affection to a boy at a young age, which made it difficult for me to display signs of affection throughout our relationship. I’ve grown up in a rather strict home that’s restricted me from entirely enjoying the fulfillment of life experiences, such as this relationship. However, his parents allowed him to do as he pleased as long as he had good intentions. Once high school ended, I was given much more freedom in my relationship, but I continued the mindset my parents had set out for me. I am trying my best to break free from the old ways, but it takes time. My boyfriend believes that I should not worry anymore about showing the tiniest bit of affection around my parents because I am of age to be dating. I constantly tell him that I understand that I’m old enough, but I’m not ready to fully express acts of simple affection to him as a normal, everyday thing. Even in high school, not in the view of my parents, I had difficulty building the courage to hold his hand, as silly as it seems. He is very understanding in every situation, but he continues to ask for my affection in the presence of my parents when I’m not completely ready to shift my ways. Maybe there is some sort of miscommunication or he is not entirely understanding why I am so hesitant to hold his hand. How do I address the situation to him without making it seem like he is hurting my feelings? How can our relationship benefit from resolving this situation? What ways are more efficient in communicating my perspective to him? Do I just start showing affection more often? I feel as though I’ve deprived him of affection for many years, but I am lucky that he has been very patient. What suggestions do you have that can better our situation and the future of our relationship? I want us both to grow from this situation without having to rush my journey into displaying affection.
Yours Truly, Love Bird at a Loss
Letter 2
Dear Professor:
I am a 32 year old man who recently got married four months ago through the court to my wife who is 27 years old. Our wedding plans were altered and pushed back to April 2021 due to Covid-19which I feel very uneasy about. We recently purchased our house less than a year ago and live comfortably with our dog Khloe and cat Rue. My wife and I work for the same company in the same department and our cubicles are 12 feet apart from each other. We are currently working from home now due to the virus. Additionally, Covid-19 took the life of my father in law five days before Christmas so life has been very down as of late. I am having difficulties keeping my patience with my wife. Regardless of the subject or significance, it seems like every conversation we have leads to some type of an argument. It is effecting my productivity while working and my overall happiness. We typically do not argue this much, but a lot has changed over the last few months as I had previously mentioned. For example, once a year around Christmas we make a trip to the casino to play some games and relax. This year was very different. We have lost friends and family to covid and are on a tight budget due to the upcoming wedding so I did not want to make the trip this year. My wife insisted on us going and used recent events as leverage against me as if I did not have a choice and owe it to her to go. This led to a huge fight and we did not end up making the trip after all. On top of that, she wants to adopt another dog because we do not have enough going on as it is. Also, two days after her dad passed she had a nervous breakdown because she lost her engagement ring and wedding band while shopping. Luckily she managed to recover them in the parking lot as I calmed her down over the phone. Emotions and stress levels have been very high. Maybe I have become too tense about our situation as a whole and need to loosen up more. I recognize that I need to be much more forgiving and understanding due to the recent loss of my wife’s father, but the pressures of our upcoming wedding and his passing along with the ongoing pandemic are weighing heavily on the both of us. I also believe that staying at home together 24/7 with virtually nowhere to go because practically everything is shutdown has had a tremendous impact on our relationship. Under these circumstances it has become very difficult to find some quality alone time and bonding time. My wife and I are just not able to see eye to eye when it comes to any decisions as of late. This quarantine is pushing me to my limits and I would like to just fast forward past all of this. I want to go back to how things were before this pandemic.
Professor can you help? --Raging in Riverside
Letter 3
Dear professor,
I am contacting you because I need help with a wedding situation. My mom keeps telling me that if my step mom attends my wedding; she will not be present. My mother believes that my dad’s wife does not deserve to be at my wedding. The lady has always been nice to me, and I cannot quite understand why my mom wouldn’t be at her “baby’s” wedding. What should I do because I want both sides of my parents to be there? I have tried explaining to my mom that it is a once in a life time event, and that it would just be for one day. I kept trying to help her see my perspective but she keeps saying she doesn’t want to share her daughter’s special day with a “mean lady.”I think my mom needs to just place her differences on the side, and also forgive my step-mom if she ever hurt her. My mom says she only wants my step-mom to be at the ceremony but she will not compromise the reception time. I explained to my mom that I cannot just tell my step-mom to leave after the ceremony; when the rest of the parents will be staying for the reception. My mom still believes I can tell my dad and his wife to leave after the ceremony, but I really want them to stay. My step-mom has always encouraged me and my fiancé through our difficult times. When we felt like giving up many times; she said as long as you both are willing everything will be okay. My dad spoke to me one day at his house, and said that it wouldn’t be fair if my moms’ husband was at the wedding, and my step-mom wasn’t. My dad said he wouldn’t go without her, and that the right thing would be to invite her as well. I told them both I understood, and wanted them there as well, but that my mom was giving me a hard time. They both told me that I had to be fair with both sides, and not allow my mom to dictate my wedding. I was sad because I didn’t want to confront my mom; knowing she would get mad at me for even telling her my perspective. The frustrating situation is; that my mom keeps emphasizing that if that lady goes, that I shouldn’t expect her to be there. It definitely hurt my heart, and disappointed me. I dreamed of this day forever with both my parents, and now I am not going to have this dream come true. I don’t know what to do. My mom’s husband was supposed to be going until he opted out, because he would feel weird being present while my dad and his wife would be. My step-dad told me that he wouldn’t really know anyone there, and why should he go. I told him if my mom didn’t go; this shouldn’t give him a reason to opt out. He said he would give it thought and get back to me. When I told my mom what I said to my step-dad she got quiet and listened to me. I believe her silence wasn’t because she didn’t agree with what I said. The sad thing is that two weeks after this; my mother-in-law told my fiancé and I that she wouldn’t be going if we recorded FB live, because she didn’t want to be seen by specific family members. We definitely reassured her that she wouldn’t have to worry about that, because we would tell the person recording us; to focus the phone only on us. My mother-in-law finally understood after reassuring her a couple times, and then she decided she would go. This really hurt me because so far, my mom isn’t going, and my mother-in-law wasn’t thinking of going because she had her own expectations of how a wedding should be kept private. She even said she didn’t think anyone of this generation would be sharing their wedding on FB Live. I told her that many people shared their weddings on FB, and she just listened. My mother-in-law is going so far, and I hope it stays this way, because I don’t want to be hurt last minute. I don’t know what to do, because I cannot please everyone. I really want to enjoy my wedding with my fiancé, and the important people in our lives’, but don’t know if it will be possible to make everyone happy. How can I be happy to?
–disappointed daughter and future daughter
