short anwser

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Writing Effective Integration Body Paragraphs

1. Body Paragraph Pattern (simplified) If THEORY organization:

Assertion Explanation Evidence 1 (from the theory) Discussion 1 Evidence 2 (from the case) Discussion 2 (integrated discussion)

A few notes to keep in mind when writing discussion 2 (integrated discussion): • Your own opinion on the topic or the justification is NOT significant in this type of paper.

Instead, the point is how well you can use the theory to interpret/ explain/analyze the case. • This is NOT a personal response essay.

Do not use “I” “my” “us” “we” “our”. Do not write something like “I feel” “I think”. Instead, use expressions like “the UDHR drafter would argue that….” to demonstrate the ideas in the discussion is reasoned from UDHR drafter’s perspective based on the UDHR article, not your own opinion. More useful expressions can be found on course pack p. 45.

• Highlight key languages from both the theory and case evidence to make connections between each other. Consider using synonyms.

• Consider using deductive reasoning to develop and organize your writing (general to specific). • Consider using expression/conjunctions showing contrast between the theory and case, such as

whereas, however, but, nevertheless, etc. Connection

Prepared by S. Zhou

If CASE organization: Assertion Explanation Evidence 1 (from the case) Discussion 1 Evidence 2 (from the theory) Discussion 2 (integrated discussion)

A few notes to keep in mind when writing discussion 2 (integrated discussion): • Your own opinion on the topic or the justification is NOT significant in this type of paper.

Instead, the point is how well you can use the theory to interpret/ explain/analyze the case. • This is NOT a personal response essay.

Do not use “I” “my” “us” “we” “our”. Do not write something like “I feel” “I think”. Instead, use expressions like “the UDHR drafter would argue that….” to demonstrate the ideas in the discussion is reasoned from UDHR drafter’s perspective based on the UDHR article, not your own opinion. More useful expressions can be found on course pack p. 45.

• Highlight key languages from both the theory and case evidence to make connections between each other. Consider using synonyms.

• Consider using deductive reasoning to develop and organize your writing (general to specific). • Consider using expression/conjunctions showing contrast between the theory and case, such as

whereas, however, but, nevertheless, etc. Connection

Prepared by S. Zhou

2. Integration Body Paragraph Pattern (Detailed)

Assertion: State what the paragraph will discuss/prove with the main thesis key word (the overall reaction to the case) and a key word from the roadmap (case or theory depending on the focus).

Don’t forget to add topic key words for the case AND theory, and to begin the assertion with case or theory depending on your organization choice (if you choose theory organization, begin with theory; if you choose case; begin with case)

Transition word/phrase (In more detail, More specifically, In other words, In particular) Explanation: Explain the assertion in more detail, focusing on the paragraph key word. Transition word/phrase (According to, As______states/reports/indicates) Evidence: Depending on the organizational choice, introduce theory or case evidence here. Don’t forget that case evidence typically needs to be described (paraphrased) but should include at least a short “quote” to demonstrate close attention to the case. Don’t introduce the evidence with repetitive context (something that was already shared in the introduction or background paragraph); instead, make sure to introduce original context. Transition word/phrase (Clearly, This indicates that, It is clear that, In other words) Discussion: Briefly, explain how the evidence connects with the thesis. Integrated Transition word/phrase: If theory above: (This concept sheds light on; This notion explains why; This theory justifies; In the movie/story/case of X,) If case above: (According to X, the reason is, X explains this situation with the idea of; This aspect of the case explains why X….) Evidence: If theory evidence above, then case evidence here (and vice versa). Transition word/phrase (Clearly, This suggests/reveals/means/highlights that, For this reason, With this in mind) Integrated Discussion: Using key words from the evidence of the case/theory, explain using your own thinking how the theory interprets the case. Each sentence should clearly combine language from the theory or case (the order does not matter, some sentences can begin explaining the theory and move to case, some can begin with case and then explain theory) Transition word/phrase (Therefore/Thus/Hence) Connection sentence: Using the thesis key word (overall reaction to the case) and the key word (aspect of the academic concept/word) from the roadmap (same key words from the assertion), summarize in one sentence how the paragraph proved the assertion/thesis

The final rule to follow is that a body paragraph cannot exceed one page in length.

Prepared by S. Zhou

3. Thesis Statement and Body Paragraph Example

Video: The Fight Against Child Labour https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ckz4qccSVpY Please note: copying sentences from the example would be considered plagiarism. Please do not plagiarize. The example is not perfect. You can write better ones than it!

If THEORY organization: Thesis Statement Formula: The UDHR is an effective tool for analyzing the (thesis key word) revealed in the movie “name of the movie” through the following: articles: article #, article#, and article #. Thesis Statement Example: UDHR is a valuable tool for explaining the exploitation of children revealed in the video “Fight against Child Labour” through the following articles: article 26, article 24, and article 5. Body Paragraph Example:

Article 26 of UDHR explains the exploitation of children through lack of opportunity for receiving fundamental education.

In more detail, article 26 claims that all human beings are entitled to receiving an education, which implies that the local authorities should provide available resources and services for their people.

As Article 26 states, “Everyone has the right to education. Education shall be free, at least in the elementary and fundamental stages. Elementary education shall be compulsory. Technical and professional education shall be made generally available and higher education shall be equally accessible to all on the basis of merit” (United Nations, 1948).

Clearly, the UDHR drafters believe that receiving fundamental education is one of the basic rights of all persons including children. Deprivation of children’s right to education, therefore, runs against Article 26 of UDHR.

However, this article is not complied for the children in the video. As Francoise, a 14 years old girl, describes her job of transporting sand, “I feel sad. There’s nothing

good here. We all complain because the sand is heavy, and we get tired. I wish we could stop transporting sand and go back to school” (United Nations, n.d.).

Clearly, children like Francisco do not have education opportunity. UDHR drafters would assert that Francoise’s rights to education are violated because Article 26 applies to everyone that individuals are entitled to free fundamental education. For Francoise who is only 14 and other child workers in the video who may be even younger, they shouldn’t work as underaged labour. They were exploited because the job is not for children and beyond their physical ability. To protect their rights to education as stated in Article 26, UDHR drafters would claim that employers should stop depriving the children of their time and energy for work. Instead, the government or the employer should send them back to school or provide free resources for their early-stage education.

Therefore, the experience of children like Francisco who work in such a harsh condition and lack education opportunity reveals exploitation of child workers by depriving them of their right to education based on Article 26 of UDHR.

Prepared by S. Zhou

Please note: copying sentences from the example would be considered plagiarism. Please do not plagiarize. The example is not perfect. You can write better one than it!

If CASE organization Thesis Statement Formula:

The (thesis key word) revealed in the movie (name of the movie) can be analyzed by looking at UDHR through the following characters/events: (character 1), (character 2), and (character 3). OR (event 1), (event 2), and (event 3).

Thesis Statement Example: The situation of exploitation of children revealed in the video “Fight against Child Labour” can be analyzed by looking at the UDHR through the following events: lacking education opportunity, being forced to work, and living in unhealthy conditions.

Body Paragraph Example: Lacking education opportunity reveals the exploitation of children through applying Article 26 of UDHR. In more detail, children in the video have to work and are deprived of going to school. As Francoise, a 14 year old girl, describes her job of transporting sand, “I feel sad. There’s nothing good

here. We all complain because the sand is heavy, and we get tired. I wish we could stop transporting sand and go back to school” (United Nation, n.d.).

Clearly, these kids live in an environment where they must undergo unbearable physical work. Although she is only 14, she cannot choose to attend school.

The UDHR drafters would explain this situation where children are being exploited with no right to basic education.

As Article 26 states, “Everyone has the right to education. Education shall be free, at least in the elementary and fundamental stages. Elementary education shall be compulsory. Technical and professional education shall be made generally available and higher education shall be equally accessible to all on the basis of merit” (United Nations, 1948).

Clearly, children like Francisco do not have education opportunity. UDHR drafters would assert that Francoise’s rights to education are violated because Article 26 applies to everyone that individuals are entitled to free fundamental education. For Francoise who is only 14 and other child workers in the video who may be even younger, they shouldn’t work as underaged labour. They were exploited because the job is not for children and beyond their physical ability. To protect their rights to education as stated in Article 26, UDHR drafters would claim that employers should stop depriving the children of their time and energy for work. Instead, the government or the employer should send them back to school or provide free resources for their early-stage education.

Therefore, the experience of children like Francisco who work in such a harsh condition and lack education opportunity reveals exploitation of child workers by depriving them of their right to education based on Article 26 of UDHR.

Prepared by S. Zhou

A few notes to keep in mind when writing discussion 2 (integrated discussion): • Your own opinion on the topic or the justification is NOT significant in this type of paper. Instead,

the point is how well you can use the theory to interpret/ explain/analyze the case. • This is NOT a personal response essay.

Do not use “I” “my” “us” “we” “our”. Do not write something like “I feel” “I think”. Instead, use expressions like “the UDHR drafter would argue that….” to demonstrate the ideas in the discussion is reasoned from UDHR drafter’s perspective based on the UDHR article, not your own opinion. More useful expressions can be found on course pack p. 45.

• Highlight key languages from both the theory and case evidence to make connections between each other. Consider using synonyms.

• Consider using deductive reasoning to develop and organize your writing (general to specific). • Consider using expression/conjunctions showing contrast between the theory and case, such as

whereas, however, but, nevertheless, etc.

STUDENT SAMPLE PARAGRAPH (Theory Organization) Edited by S. Zhou

Thesis statement (in the introduction paragraph) The UDHR is a valuable tool for explaining the (injustice) revealed in the movie “Visitor” through the following articles: article 9, article 18, and article 20.

Assertion: (Article 9) provides insights into (injustice) through strong contrast with the arrest of Tarek in the movie

Explanation: Specifically, UDHR claims that individuals shouldn’t be forced to tolerate limit movement regardless of nationality. Without a legitimate reason, no one should hold another in custody.

Evidence 1: As UDHR states in Article 9, “No one shall be subjected to arbitrary arrest, detention or exile” (United Nations, 1948).

Discussion 1: With this theory, it is clear that human beings have the opportunity to choose where they live and stay. In other words, it is legitimate for foreigners to stay in another country and they have rights to move freely with no limitation. Unless one presents official permission and motive, no one is entitled to send others to prison.

Evidence 2: However, in the film, the cops doubted Tarek paid the underground fare, and then they checked his ID, even though Tarek explained, “I did not jump it! I paid. I paid!” The police officers still did not believe him and asked more questions of Tarek. After realizing Tarek was from Syria, they started to handcuff him and did not give any opportunities to let Walter explain more (Skalski et al., 2007).

Discussion 2 (integrated discussion): Considering this, UDHR drafters would claim that the police officers infringed Tarek’s right of liberty. Because article 9 applies to everyone regardless of nationality, handcuffing Tarek without reason is a breach of this article. Tarek, as a foreigner, is entitled to the right of free movement as all individuals do, so the officers shouldn't arrest him at their whim. Moreover, when Tarek is confused and anxious about the arrest, the officers are indifferent to his concern and explanation. UDHR drafters would assert that such an ignorance demonstrates officers’ disrespect and carelessness to Tarek's freedom of movement. Without clear mutual understanding, the arrest could be a mistake that causes Tarek to undergo more unfair treatment during custody, which doesn't fit the purpose of article 9.

Connection: Therefore, article 9 of UDHR explains the unjust treatment towards Tarek because the police officers arrested him arbitrarily without providing legal reasons and showing respect to his right of liberty.

Copying sentences from the example would be considered plagiarism. Please avoid this issue in your essay.

The example is not perfect. You can write even better!

STUDENT SAMPLE PARAGRAPH (Case Organization) Edited by N.Kielstra

Thesis statement

The (injustice against immigrants) revealed in the movie “The Visitor” can be analyzed by looking at UDHR through the following characters: the vulnerability of Tarek, the restriction of visiting son for Mouna, and residential instability for Zainab Assertion

The vulnerability of Tarek highlights injustice through Article 9 of the UDHR.

Explanation

More specifically, Tarek is arbitrarily arrested unjustly and being exiled from the U.S. without him

having committed an actual crime.

Evidence - Case (movie) In the film, Tarek is accused by the cops in a subway station even though he pays the fare. The

policemen ignore his explanation and arrest him without giving any reasons after they identify Tarek’s

undocumented status. Although Tarek does not commit any criminal offense, he is sent to a jail-like

detention centre, where is depressing as Tarek mentions, “There is no privacy. The lights are always

on” (Skalski, London & McCarthy, 2007). Discussion

Clearly, Tarek is treated as a criminal who is restricted in interaction with the outsiders and in his

movements such as in the prohibition of receiving bed counts.

Evidence #2 – Theory (UDHR)

However, the UDHR explains this situation with the idea of limiting false imprisonment.

Based on the human rights document Article 9, “No one shall be subjected to arbitrary arrest, detention

or exile” (United Nations, 1948).

Integrated Discussion

With this in mind, persons such as Tarek should be protected by law, and no one is able to deprive the

liberty of others by arresting or deporting them without providing sufficient reasons and procedures. Not

only this, when the US government detains Tarek, he should also have a right to defend himself through

the process of law with a sense of justice instead of being treated as a criminal without privacy. All

individuals, including illegal immigrants such as Tarek, deserve dignity and equal treatment in front of

the police or the law courts.

Connection

Thus, the vulnerability of Tarek demonstrates human rights violations and injustice through Article 9 of

the UDHR by being arrested and deported arbitrarily.

Copying sentences from the example would be considered plagiarism. Please avoid this issue in your essay. The example is not perfect. You can write even better!