Short Paper Focus on Buddhism

Revising Prose

Richard Lanham has developed a systematic and practical "Paramedic Method" for eliminating the wordiness that accompanies the so-called "Official Style" plaguing so many writers today (Revising Prose. New York: Scribner’s, 1979). The Official Style uses passive constructions, nominalizations, long strings of prepositional phrases and nouns joined rather tenuously with a "to be" verb. In the Official Style, concepts or inanimate objects often appear in the subject position in a sentence. You can improve the clarity and grace of your writing if you use an agent/action style and put "people" in the subject position whenever possible. Apply the Paramedic Method judiciously to every one of your sentences; your writing will be clearer, more concise, and most importantly, readable.

Before you apply the paramedic method to a draft, spend a few moments analyzing your style. Draw a big \ after each of your sentences, then count how many you have in your paper. Then circle all the "to be" verbs, count them, then calculate the ratio, "to be" verbs/# of sentences. A ratio of 1/5 or lower is good for expository writing.

The Paramedic Method

1. Underline the prepositional phrases. 2. Circle all the "to be" verbs (am, are, is, was, were). 3. Find the "action" in the sentence. (Look for nominalizations, e.g. "description" rather than

"describe.") 4. Put this action in a simple (not compound) active verb. 5. Determine the agent of the action, then compose the base clause. 6. Start fast--avoid long introductory phrases. 7. Try to keep the subject/agent of the sentence close to the action. 8. Vary the lengths of your sentences; go for rhythm and balance. 9. Read the passage aloud with emphasis and feeling. Revise sentences to put stress on key ideas

and improve rhythm. (Information that comes last in a sentence is remembered more clearly.)

Cautions This method of improving the clarity and readability of your prose should be used

judiciously, depending upon your rhetorical situation. Certain purposes require more "linking" verbs than others (e.g. description, defining a "state of being"). Also, in certain instances you may need to disguise what you mean (big companies do this to maintain their image yet avoid lawsuits; people who want to sound like they know more than they really do also find obscurity helpful). You may find that a passive construction helps you preserve coherence. In any event, be aware of your style and know that you have options.

Developed by David Blakesley, Dept. of English, SIUC