First Draft Self-Evaluation and Reflection

Running Head: BULLYING 1

BULLYING 2

Bullying

Name: LaCretia Daniels Comment by Nicole Denniston: LaCretia - great job on your first draft! You have some valuable information that is on topic, organized, and supported with peer-reviewed researched information. Please go through this for additional comments and feedback for changes to make for your final draft and for edits you may need to make yourself based on the rubric. Let me know if you have any questions about the feedback. Keep up the great work!

Course name: UNV-104

Date: August 23, 2020

Instructor’s Name: Nicole Denniston Comment by Nicole Denniston: In your essay, if I spot something I will provide a comment. However, I will only make that comment once.  This will give you a chance to spot and edit the same mistakes in your paper to help with your proofreading skills.

Bullying

Bullying has been termed as a worldwide activity that does not affect only the person being bullied but also the person who carries out the event. In recent years, the incidences of bullying have significantly increased (Bondü et al., 2016). The cases of bullying in the past five years have escalated by almost 30%. This figure is inclusive of people who have been either bullied face to face or via online platforms. While bullying has always been problematic among children, the short- and long-term effects of it are significantly worse. Some of the most profound ways that bullying can affect children are causing them to perform poorly in school, have and exhibit low self-esteem, and isolating themselves from others. Comment by Nicole Denniston: Great job on your hook and background information. Comment by Nicole Denniston: Good job having this mapped, but it looks like the order of your sub-topics here are not in the same order as your body paragraph information. This needs to be revised. These two things need to mirror each other.

Among the effects that results from bullying are that the child would develop low self-esteem, they won't have confidence in whatever they do, and to some extent, might even experience self-criticism. The first effect of bullying on the self-esteem of a kid is that it makes the kid develop self-doubt and to some extend also lost the confidence they had in themselves (Jones et al., 2017). In most cases, the child ends up feeling that they are not good enough in whatever they do. However, a close look at the whole situation would show that the kid who is being bullied has a talent that the bully admires, and therefore, the bully tries all the means to belittle their target. When a kid experiences such incidences, they end up doubting their capabilities to perform certain things. If a child is continuously squashed about something, they end up believing that it is correct. When the kids are put down on something that they cannot change, for instance, their skin colour, it becomes more harmful to their self-esteem. It is here where the child would develop self-blame that in turn, would lead to self- criticism. Comment by Nicole Denniston: Great points here!

Bullying has also been associated with causing kids to experience social isolation. In most cases, it leads to depression and anxiety among the kids. With this, the risk of the kids withdrawing from their families also increases (Fisher et al., 2017). It is true that although bullying results in some effects and damages, the kid would eventually heal, there are circumstances that would result in long term effects. One of the most prevalent side effect depression, which if not correctly managed, could result in long term issues that might be severe. The kids that are at a higher risk of developing depression include those that have been bullied either verbally or physically. Outwardly, the kid may eventually seem to recover from the attacks. However, the mental scars may linger for months and possibly years. Some kids already suffer from anxiety even before the problem of bullying commences. It has been estimated that about two to twelve per cent of the adolescents suffer from anxiety and when this is combined with bullying the situation becomes worse and sometimes even difficult to manage. Wrap up. Comment by Nicole Denniston: Per your thesis statement this body paragraph should be about academic issues. Comment by Nicole Denniston: Great job on research! Comment by Nicole Denniston: Good! Where did you get this information from? It needs to be cited. When doing an in-text citation that is paraphrased, it needs to be formatted as (Author last name, year). i.e. (Smith, 2012). OR According to Smith (2012) paraphrased information here. Use this website to help you format your in-text citations correctly. http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/560/03/

Lastly, the other effect of bullying is that it can result in poor performance in school of the kids that are involved in the act. When a child is being bullied in school, it will automatically become difficult for them to be able to concentrate on their studies. Firstly, the children who have been bullied will hardly attend their classes because they want to avoid having an encounter with the person bullying them. For teenagers, they might choose to stay at home while the kids, in most cases, may pretend to be ill so that their parents or guardians would permit them not to attend school. Once the child misses several classes, it means that they would lag with the syllabus, and as a result, their performance would also be affected (Zequinão et al., 2017). Next, the performance of the student's would decrease as the learners would be unable to attend most of their classes, and hence they won't be getting their assignments done well or even submitted on time. They are also likely to miss some essential data that is given by their teachers during the lectures. These kids would not be able to do as many assignments as their counterparts who are have been attending all the talks. Comment by Nicole Denniston: Great job on topic sentences! Comment by Nicole Denniston: Great!

In conclusion, it can be noted that bullying has indeed risen over the past few years, and it has, therefore, become a matter that needs to be given more attention. Bullying has a tremendous effect on the life of a school going kid as the child's self-esteem tends to be lowered. The school performance of the kid in school would also drop as a result of bullying (Zequinão, 2017). There is also a high probability that the child might withdraw from their families, and this is an indication that the child is actually under depression. There is also the possibility of the kid shying away from doing most of the activities that they enjoy doing because they have developed self-doubt. Bullying also has an effect of lowering the self-esteem of an individual. Furthermore, the child may end up lacking self-confidence. There are also some incidences where bullying students would end up blaming themselves for going through the situations, and as a result, they might experience self-criticism. It would, therefore, be vital, if bullying was considered a severe problem for kids and given the attention it deserves so that it can be reduced. Comment by Nicole Denniston: Great job on your conclusion in wrapping up your paper, and having a restatement of your sub-topic points.

References Comment by Nicole Denniston: Make sure these are in all black font; they look gray. Otherwise, excellent job having these in APA format and style!

Bondü, R., Rothmund, T., & Gollwitzer, M. (2016). Mutual long-term effects of school bullying, victimization, and justice sensitivity in adolescents. Journal of Adolescence, 48, 62-72.

Fisher, K., Cassidy, B., & Mitchell, A. M. (2017). Bullying: effects on school-aged children, screening tools, and referral sources. Journal of community health nursing, 34(4), 171-179.

Jones, A., Robinson, E., Oginni, O., Rahman, Q., & Rimes, K. A. (2017). Anxiety disorders, gender nonconformity, bullying and self‐esteem in sexual minority adolescents: Prospective birth cohort study. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 58(11), 1201-1209.

Zequinão, M. A., Cardoso, A. A., da Silva, J. L., de Medeiros, P., Silva, M. A. L., Pereira, B., & Cardoso, F. L. (2017). Academic performance and bullying in socially vulnerable students. Journal of Human Growth and Development, 27(1), 19-27.