reply 4

Lachelle Lewis-McDuffie

Fireproof & Interpersonal Communication

In the movie Fireproof , a movie about the tumultuous marriage of Caleb and Catherine, there are various interpersonal communication issues. Where do I start? From the beginning you could see that Catherine and Caleb where involved in what Peterson called the, "flat-brain tango" (2015). You could tell from the first conversation that Catherine was in a place of frustration. Her emotions turned, "explosive, like steam in a pressure cooker" (Peterson, p.30, 2015). Caleb in turn went on the defense and starting attacking Catherine and Catherine retaliated, hence the, "tango", began. Doing this nothing was going to be resolved. Stewart states, "defensiveness emerges when an individual perceives or anticipates threat, it is focused on protecting one's self" (p. 352, 2012). Because both Caleb and Catherine were in defense mode neither of them could concentrate on or understand what the other was saying. I would say in their interpersonal conversation's Caleb's communication trap was that he was a Perry Mason (Peterson, 2015). In his questions to his wife, he was actually making statements and being accusatory. Especially when she talked with him about purchasing the boat. Caleb also used avowed identity when he considered himself a good man, while he used ascribed identity when it came to his wife. He considered her mean and too sensitive. Catherine thought Caleb was also defensive whenever anyone told him, he was wrong, he would immediately get angry.

Catherine was having some issues of her own, she gravitated to another man because he showed her empathy and warmth when talking to her. Catherine perceived Gavin to be a good man. Yet with Caleb, she was using meta messaging with Caleb when she was talking to him about giving her the flowers. 

Caleb's interaction with his parents was interesting. With his father he showed openness, genuineness and warmth and his father with him. This could explain their closeness. Self-disclosure helps you to get to know someone and they you (Stewart, 2012). However with his mother, Caleb was the opposite, whenever she spoke to him he went on the defense. He would be defensive and critical of her. It was not until his father started self-disclosing some things that Caleb's attitude changed. His father used openness (Stewart, 2012), when he disclosed his need for Jesus in his life to love his mother correctly and when he had revealed that it was he who damaged their marriage. Caleb also began to open himself up to Catherine, and her to him. 

Reference

Kendrick, A. (Director). (2008). Fireproof [Motion Picture]. United States: Sherwood Pictures. 

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