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We (Western society), have always been taught or thought that our identities are who we are, that we are, "individual containers that enclose their unique essence", (Stewart, p.78, 2012). However through  research, this has been proven to not be true. Researchers Vygotsky and Mead said that we are first social beings at infancy and it is later in life that we see ourselves as individuals (Stewart, 2012). Our identities are multidimensional and always changing; classified in different categories (personal, relational and communal) (Stewart, 2012). Our identities are being constructed whenever we communicate, and our relationships (past and present) play an important role in our identity (Stewart, 2012).  Who we are depends on what is going on or who we are around at a particular time. According to Stewart (2012), "an identity is a person making sense of world not just for him or herself but in a way that makes sense within a context provided by others". For instance, If I am at a job interview, I am expected to be well-mannered, professional and knowledgeable about the position/company, but if I am at a friend's party, I am expected to be fun, and friendly. Each encounter requires me to portray myself differently.

Looking at videos, in the first one, we are looking at constructing identity. Identities are fluid, and Alia's co-worker wants to put her in a box, but present herself as a well rounded person with multiple identities. However, Alia wants to be identified as having multiple identities. In the last two videos, I would say that these were both difficult conversations. These types of conversations threaten our identity (Stewart, 2012). The conversations could shake up their sense of who they are (to themselves). Opening the door would cause them to have to face themselves, and their issues. In the last video, Julia, is in the denial stage of the all-or-nothing syndrome (Stewart, 2012). She wants to keep her old identity in tact. 

Reference

Stewart, J. (2012). Bridge not walls: A book about interpersonal communication. New York, NY. McGraw-Hill.