all 4 english writing work

Kayleigh Buike

Reflection

This poem is a bit of an ongoing reflection of mine. My freshman year of college I lost someone very close to me and ever since then I have had a hard time with my emotions. I realized through talking with a professor about a dance assignment that I tend to displace my emotions. By this I mean that they may be feeling one emotion but another one who comes out or is more prominent. For example with this certain situation I was very stressed about school while not dealing with my grief. This then led to seem almost slap happy from stress when in reality I was in a very sad and depressive state. As a way to better understand this aspect of myself, I have been working on a piece for the spring dance show that encompasses this new part of my life. I thought that writing a poem about it would not only be therapeutic but also help to inspire me more for the dance. 

While the poem is more literal in its nature about emotions I think that very easily a reader could replace emotion with another aspect of life and still connect. The goal of this poem is for the reader to see that something that seems to take control of your life and spin things out of control can be tamed. So for me the antagonist is my emotions but if someone were struggling with addiction, finances, relationships etc. I think the lesson still stands that you can take control, it just takes time, practice and compassion. 

The first strategy I used when writing this poem was imagery. Within imagery as a whole I feel that for this theme of emotion that tactile imagery would be best. This type of imagery deals with things that are real and have substance that the audience can recall. For example the poem “The Bath” by Gary Snyder an example he used of tactile imagery was, “we stretch out on the redwood benches hearts all beating.” This is an example of tactile imagery because as a reader you can feel or imagine a beating heart and the benched. 

  Within my poem, this type of imagery can be seen in the referencing the ocean and skyscraper building. Another example of this is in the line, “Eventually I can get my hold on them, like I’ve just grasped the reins.” Here the hope is that the reader is able to imagine a horse or another animal reigns and the type of grip and strength needed to control a strong and wild animal like a horse. 

Another strategy I used was the structure of the poem itself. How a poem is structured can have both clear and subtle effects on the poem's effectiveness. For example, “The Bath” which I mentioned before has multiple stanzas which helps to show a passage of time not only as you read the poem but within the content of the poem. In “Job” by William Heyen this poem is one small stanza and written almost like a quick journal or diary entry. Contrary to this, “Our Bodies Break Light” is a larger paragraph of text that is written like a story within a book or a story in itself. 

My poem’s structure is a bunch of single lines with the beginning word of the line having a letter that corresponds to the spelling of the poem. I used the strategy because I thought that it would add a sophisticated element to the poem. I did think about maybe rearranging the words to “displace” them but was not sure if that would be noticed so I decided to just spell the work virtually instead. 

Overall, I really enjoyed writing this poem. I think that it was definitely challenging but also was very therapeutic and rewarding. I still feel like in terms of poetry I have a lot of room to grow. I still don’t think I understand it well enough to be a poet. I do however think that this assignment was a nice stepping stone to begin to pursue poetry if I wanted to. 

I am just proud that I was able to put something together, furthermore that I was able to be vulnerable with myself and write something about myself and my struggles as a tool to move forward and grow.

Displacement.

Days can go by before I feel I know what reality is.

Instances that trigger an influx of emotion.

Saudade, silliness, schadenfreude, spite.

Plentiful like the ocean is the emotion, heavy like the skyscraper is the perpetrator. 

Longing to know what is true and what is displaced.

Acceptance.

Compassion for myself but more so for those caught in the tornado of my existence. 

Eventually I can get my hold on them, like I’ve just grasped the reins. 

More instances of influx result in more practice of patience. 

Ending the cycle of circling chaos and confusion,

Neatly rearranging every thought and feeling as I do with my messy home

‘Til they are properly placed, again.