I need and discussion for wk 3 and 2 response for my Business Communication

JWI 505: Business Communications and Executive Presence Lecture Notes

© Strayer University. All Rights Reserved. This document contains Strayer University confidential and proprietary information and may not be copied, further distributed, or otherwise disclosed, in whole or in part, without the expressed written permission of Strayer University. JWI 505 – Lecture Notes (1194) Page 1 of 4

WEEK 3: LISTEN AND ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS Listen and Ask the Right Questions You come home from work after a long day only to discover that your significant other is upset. You ask what’s wrong. As you hear the story unfold, you repeatedly offer suggestions as to how your significant other might solve the problems described. You are caught completely off guard when you end up sleeping on the couch. What you’ve just experienced is a frequent cause of failure where in-person communication is concerned. Your spouse was angry because you didn’t listen. You instead assumed you knew what could make the problem go away. Effective communication is not just about imparting information. It is about receiving information, too. When two people with a pair of radio walkie-talkies both hold down the button to talk, neither one of them can hear the other. They are both too busy sending to receive. To communicate effectively, you must focus most of your energy on listening when the other person talks. When someone feels heard, they are more receptive to your own message, more likely to build rapport with you, and more likely to become your active ally in solving the problems at hand. The result is that all parties to the communication exchange information effectively, moving toward a collaborative solution. When was the last time you felt heard? Do your colleagues listen? Do your direct reports listen? Does your boss listen? Do you? Listening – and only listening, with no reply needed, no action taken, and no solution suggested – can grow a relationship. We often believe, incorrectly, that more is better. Attempting to multi-task when you should be listening is not productive. Worse, it causes us to lose the human connection that we crave for real success in our business relationships. Most importantly, however, we must not merely listen actively to build these relationships; we must listen with empathy to achieve a connection with our colleagues. Listen with Empathy William Ury, an author and expert in negotiation, explains that there are three important reasons to listen:

1. Listening helps us understand the other side. Negotiation is an exercise in influence, and nothing helps you influence another person better than understanding them.

2. Listening helps us connect because it builds rapport and trust. When we listen, we demonstrate empathy because everyone wants to be heard.

3. Listening makes it more likely that the other person will listen to us, which helps us attain their buy- in.

JWI 505: Business Communications and Executive Presence Lecture Notes

© Strayer University. All Rights Reserved. This document contains Strayer University confidential and proprietary information and may not be copied, further distributed, or otherwise disclosed, in whole or in part, without the expressed written permission of Strayer University. JWI 505 – Lecture Notes (1194) Page 2 of 4

What can we learn by listening with empathy? It gives us insight into others' strengths, values, reasons for being, and what matters most to them. When we actually hear what is on someone's mind, rather than focusing on our own assumptions or beliefs about them, true communication becomes possible. “Listening may be the cheapest concession we can make in a negotiation,” Ury explains. “It costs us nothing and brings huge benefits. Listening may be the golden key that opens the door to human relationship.” Refuse to Assume One of the most powerful techniques you can use when listening fully and empathetically is refusing to assume that you know or understand what the other person is saying. Periodically, tell them what it is you believe they are saying. This will not only demonstrate that you are a committed, active listener, but it will:

• Give them the opportunity to correct you, if your understanding of what they’ve said is incorrect • Give you both an opportunity to achieve a connection

It’s rare that people listen to us with full commitment. When we hear them repeat back to us what they believe we’ve said, this demonstration of understanding, this illustration of their commitment to be fully present and hear us, immediately makes us feel valued. When we can say, “Yes! You’ve heard me!” then we have achieved a connection, which, in turn, strengthens that relationship. This, in turn, leads to better collaboration and better results. Try this: listen for two full minutes to someone speak to you about the topic of their choice. Be fully present. Do not speak. Do not even acknowledge what they are saying for the two minute time period. Instead, listen without thinking about what you will say in response. When you’ve finished the two minutes, ask the other person what it felt like to be heard. Connect as You Listen The key to listening with empathy is that, when you listen, you should not just listen for information. You should also be connecting your own emotions and your own values to what you are hearing. What opinions and positions do you and the other party share? To which parts of what they are saying can you best relate? Where is your common ground? When you relate what someone says to what is also important to you, you establish empathy and rapport with that person. Be careful, however, not to make everything about you. When relating what someone says to your own values and priorities, this is easy to do. Avoid the temptation to hijack the conversation and put the focus on your own issues.

JWI 505: Business Communications and Executive Presence Lecture Notes

© Strayer University. All Rights Reserved. This document contains Strayer University confidential and proprietary information and may not be copied, further distributed, or otherwise disclosed, in whole or in part, without the expressed written permission of Strayer University. JWI 505 – Lecture Notes (1194) Page 3 of 4

Asking the Right Questions Asking the right questions is a critical skill for leaders. It is closely related to, and intertwined with, listening. Asking the right questions, questions to which we authentically desire the answers, demonstrates our interest and curiosity about what others are saying. Asking the right questions is a great complement to listening with empathy. It allows you to grow while, at the same time, coaching others. This includes prompting them to self-generate solutions and to achieve, through their own thought processes, their own aha moments. This doesn't just make them more effective colleagues. It also more fully enhances their buy- in when you work together. Learning to ask the right questions will also help you to inspire and engage others in working toward the desired collaborative outcome. When you ask the right questions, the brilliance of everyone in the room can shine, which is the essence of Jack Welch’s philosophy of getting “every brain in the game” to achieve better results. Asking the right questions is a productive, positive, creative process that can get us what we want. We all seem to believe this to be true, yet few of us do it. One of the reasons we don't is that we haven't learned to listen effectively. Good questions must be combined with effective listening to achieve results. Jack, for example, is a master at asking effective, probing questions. His fully present, active listening and his intense and targeted questioning help him get to the heart of a matter quickly. But what exactly is he doing when he asks effective questions? According to Irene Leonard, a master-level certified business coach, effective questions are powerful, thought-provoking queries that are open-ended. Don’t ask leading questions that assume a conclusion. You must learn to wait for an answer, not provide the other person with the answer they think you want to hear. Your goal is to learn what someone knows and understands about a problem, not simply to inform them what the problem might be. If you sense the other party becoming defensive, it’s a good idea to accompany why questions with context. Why questions can seem like blame or judgment. Always follow a why question with the phrase, “I’m trying to understand _________” Fill in the blank with the context for your question that explains why you’re not looking to find fault or place blame, but just to understand an issue. Never make assumptions when asking questions. Don’t tell the other person what you believe they think. Instead, ask them to provide you with their understanding. Say something like, “What’s your understanding of this issue?” or “What do you think the problem is?” Don’t say something like, “Why do you think Payroll refuses to perform month-end duties on time?” for example, when you could instead say something like, “What’s your understanding of the month-end duties in the Payroll department?” You must let go of any preconceived notions you may have when using effective questioning to get to the heart of an issue. It’s not enough to know what someone thinks; you must strive to understand why they think it. Effective, probing questions can achieve this for you.

JWI 505: Business Communications and Executive Presence Lecture Notes

© Strayer University. All Rights Reserved. This document contains Strayer University confidential and proprietary information and may not be copied, further distributed, or otherwise disclosed, in whole or in part, without the expressed written permission of Strayer University. JWI 505 – Lecture Notes (1194) Page 4 of 4

Critical Skills for Asking Effective, Powerful Questions Irene Leonard1 describes the following listening skills as critical to effective questioning:

• Articulating: Succinctly describe to the other person what you understand about what they are telling you. This not only achieves rapport by demonstrating that you are actively listening, but it also invites them to correct you if your understanding is incomplete.

• Clarifying: Asking clarifying questions is a lot like articulating, but it helps you fill in the gaps of your understanding for a more complete picture. It demonstrates that you care enough to make sure you understand the other person completely.

• Being Curious: Don’t make assumptions when listening. This can cause you to leap to conclusions and not truly hear what they are telling you.

• Silence: Don’t talk, and don’t tell the other person what you think they believe. Instead, wait and give them time to formulate an answer when you ask them a question. Then, hear them out completely and repeat the process.

Leaders Ask Powerful Questions Powerful questions are questions that help you identify an issue. They also help you elicit further information, while gaining the buy-in of the other person and driving all participants to necessary actions. Effective business leaders listen with empathy while being fully present, achieving connections with their colleagues by asking probing questions that drive all parties toward a satisfactory conclusion. This is the very definition of getting all brains in the game – and of winning through collaborative effort in an organization.

1 http://www.coachingforchange.com/pub10.html.