Essay of a Journal 6 Min 350 words

Introduction: When you are in the midst of a problem-saturated story, especially if it has a heavy emotional experience attached to it, pointing out strengths is not enough for you to manage through challenges. You need to be able to call up times when the problem was not in control so that you can move towards a more empowered personal narrative and manage setbacks. Every time your problem takes hold it trains your brain to get caught in a repeating neural pathway that causes stress. By practicing re- focusing the thought patterns on the times you did not allow the problem to take control, you can create de-stress responses, facilitating you to manage through the problem.

Goals: • Teach you how to identify times when you were able to overcome your main

mindset issue. • Enable you to practice re-focusing thought patterns. • Begin to create de-stress responses.

Instructions: Using the narrative-based questions from the chapter section, Engaging in a Narrative Coaching Conversation, you will learn how to identify exceptions to your problem- saturated stories. You will start by re-stating your main problem and the influence of the problem in the context of a narrative conversation. Then, you will move forward by identifying the exceptions.

Answer the following:

Step 1: Identifying the Main Problem

1. “What word would I use to describe the most frustrating mindset problem that I am currently facing?”

Step 2: Understanding the Influence of the Problem

1. “What has the problem been working overtime to get you to believe about yourself? 2. “If the problem wasn’t running the show as much, what kinds of things would you

be doing or thinking about instead?”

Step 3: Find Exceptions to the Problem-Saturated Story

1. “Think about a time when you didn’t fall under the influence of the problem. What exactly was different about you in that situation that you miss most?” OR

o “Imagine you saw a video of someone doing what you did during a time you didn’t fall under the influence of the problem. What would you observe that is in direct opposition to the influence of the problem? What words would you use to describe that person?” OR

o “Imagine that the problem were less in control than it typically is. Who in your life would be the least surprised to see you minimizing the influence of the problem? What words would that person use to describe you?”

2. “If you observed someone other than yourself minimize the effects of an ongoing problem in their life, what three words would you use to describe that person and that ability?”

3. “Reflecting on those three words, what time in your life could at least one of those words have been used to describe you?”

4. “What would be the first thing in your life to improve if you took the risk to start believing this about yourself?”

5. "Thinking of the week ahead, where is your next opportunity to practice this updated belief about yourself?"

Example (to be used for reference ONLY): Step 1: Identifying the Main Problem

1. “What word would I use to describe the most frustrating mindset problem that I am currently facing?”

• o Procrastination

Step 2: Understanding the Influence of the Problem

“What has the problem been working overtime to get you to believe about yourself?

Procrastination is trying to convince me that I am unable to get things done on time or before they need to be done. It wants me to feel unreliable and only able to work under the most stress.

“If the problem wasn’t running the show as much, what kinds of things would you be doing or thinking about instead?”

I would feel more relaxed and be able to enjoy other activities without the worry of the things I need to do looming over my head.

Step 3: Find Exceptions to the Problem-Saturated Story

“Think about a time when you didn’t fall under the influence of the problem. What exactly was different about you in that situation that you miss most?”

Or

“Imagine you saw a video of someone doing what you did during a time you didn’t fall under the influence of the problem. What would you observe that is in direct opposition to the influence of the problem? What words would you use to describe that person?”

OR

“Imagine that the problem were less in control than it typically is. Who in your life would be the least surprised to see you minimizing the influence of the problem? What words would that person use to describe you?”

Last Friday, I decided to get up early and get all of my homework done so that I could go away with my friends for the weekend without wondering when I would have time to do it. I knew there wouldn’t be time to get the homework done that weekend and I didn’t want to walk into class monday feeling bad. I am the most focused earlier in the morning when it is quiet and the rest of the day hasn’t started weighing me down. I felt energized and motivated for the weekend ahead. I wish I always felt that motivated and energized! As I got each assignment done, it was like I felt lighter somehow and it was great. When I was done, I felt so happy and relaxed.

“If you observed someone other than yourself minimize the effects of an ongoing problem in their life, what three words would you use to describe that person and that ability?”

Organized, responsible, proactive

“Reflecting on those three words, what time in your life could at least one of those words have been used to describe you?”

When I was applying to colleges, I got all of my applications in early so that they were done and I would know early which schools I was accepted to. I had to make sure that I had taken my SATs, too, which required planning way ahead of time. I was very proactive about finding scholarships and financial aid, as well. I was so excited about college that I didn’t even consider putting any of it off until later because I didn’t want to risk losing out on financial aid.

“What would be the first thing in your life to improve if you took the risk to start believing this about yourself?”

I would feel so much less stress.

"Thinking of the week ahead, where is your next opportunity to practice this updated belief about yourself?"

I can get up early on Friday and get all my homework done before the weekend. I can make sure to plan ahead to ensure I get to bed early enough on Thursday so that I get enough sleep and also plan where I will be able to have the quiet I need to focus.