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T h e

Power of

Positive Leadership H o w a n d W h y P o s i t i v e Le a d e r s

T r a n s f o r m T e a m s a n d Or g a n i z a t i o n s

and C h an ge t h e W o r l d

JON GORDON

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Cover image:  abzee/iStockphoto Cover design: Wiley

Copyright  2017 by Jon Gordon. All rights reserved.

Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey. Published simultaneously in Canada.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, (978) 750-8400, fax (978) 646-8600, or on the web at www.copyright.com. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, (201) 748-6011, fax (201) 748-6008, or online at www.wiley.com/go/permissions.

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ISBN (cloth) 9781119351979; ISBN 9781119351702 (ePub); ISBN 9781119352037 (ePDF)

Printed in the United States of America

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To Ken Blanchard, for teaching me and showing me how a true positive leader lives and leads.

Your example and support changed my life and I am forever grateful.

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Contents

1 From Negative to Positive 1

2 Real Positive 7

3 Positive Leaders Drive Positive Cultures 13 Your Most Important Job 16

Culture Beats Strategy 17

Know What You Stand For 19

More than Words 21

Positively Contagious 22

Create a Culture that People Feel 23

Invest in the Root if You Want the Fruit 24

You Must Keep Building Your Culture 26

4 Positive Leaders Create and Share a Positive Vision 29 A North Star 32

A Telescope and Microscope 34

Dabo Swinney’s Vision 34

Keep the Vision Alive 38

Make the Vision Come Alive 38

My Vision 40

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5 Positive Leaders Lead with Optimism, Positivity, and Belief 45 Believe It and You’ll See It 50

If You Don’t Have It, You Can’t Share it 51

Feed the Positive Dog 51

Talk to Yourself 52

It’s All How You See It 53

Tell Yourself a Positive Story 54

Challenge or Opportunity 56

Shark or Goldfish 56

Think Like a Rookie 57

Defeating Murphy 59

Inside Out 59

Distort Reality 60

Leadership Is a Transfer of Belief 61

Lead with Faith Instead of Fear 63

Be an Over-Believer 64

Don’t Stop Believing 66

Your Leadership Journey 67

6 Positive Leaders Confront, Transform, and Remove Negativity 69 Your Positivity Must Be Greater than All

the Negativity 72

No Energy Vampires Allowed 73

Why Wait? 74

The First Step Is to Transform 75

Start at the Culture Level 75

Remove the Negativity 77

Sooner or Later 77

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Lead from Where You Are 79

Implement the No Complaining Rule 79

Michael Phelps’s Positive Leadership 82

Don’t Be Negative about Negativity 83

7 Positive Leaders Create United and Connected Teams 85 Connection Is the Difference 88

Team Beats Talent When Talent Isn’t a Team 91

Dabo Swinney’s Safe Seat 93

Collaborate and Facilitate 94

Don’t Let Your Reptile Eat Your Positive Dog 95

8 Positive Leaders Build Great Relationships and Teams 99 Love Does 101

Love Is the Greatest Leadership Principle on

Where There Is a Void in Communication,

Believe in Others More than They Believe in

the Planet 103

Rules without Relationship Lead to Rebellion 104

Communication Builds Trust 104

Negativity Fills It 106

Leading by Walking Around 108

Listening Is Communicating 110

Enhance Your Positive Communication 110

Be an Encourager 113

Themselves 114

Help Your Team Become Unstoppable 115

Connect One on One 117

Be Committed 118

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Serve to Be Great 119

Doing the Laundry 120

It’s Not About You 123

Commit to Coach 124

Commitment Requires Sacrifice 125

When You Help Others Improve, You Improve 126

Elite of the Elite 127

Positive Leaders Care 128

Develop Your Caring Trademark 129

The Sandwich 133

9 Positive Leaders Pursue Excellence 135 Humble and Hungry 137

There Is No Finish Line 139

Demanding without being Demeaning 139

Love and Accountability 140

Love Tough 143

Craftsmen and Craftswomen 144

The One Percent Rule 145

Clarity and Action 146

10 Positive Leaders Lead with Purpose 149 Find and Live Your Purpose 153

Share the Purpose 155

Inspire Others to Live Their Purpose 155

Purpose Driven Goals 156

One Word 159

Life Word 160

Leave a Legacy 161

Give People Great Stories to Tell 162

Life and Death 164

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11 Positive Leaders Have Grit 167 Know What You Want 171

Know Your Why 171

Love It 172

Embrace Failure 173

Keep Doing Things the Right Way: Trust the Process 174

Ignore the Critics; Do the Work 175

12 Lead the Way Forward 177

Notes 189

Acknowledgments 191

Bring the Power of Positive Leadership to

Your Organization 193

Power of Positive Leadership Resources 194

Other Books by Jon Gordon 195

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Chapter 1

From Negative to Positive

Being positive doesn’t just make you better;

it makes everyone around you better.

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I ’m not naturally a positive person. People think I ambecause of my books and talks, but the truth is that I have to work hard to be positive. It doesn’t come naturally

to me. In fact, I find it ironic that I would write a book like this—

and that my life’s work centers on the importance of positivity.

It’s true that we teach what we need to learn. I know that my

quest to become a more positive person and better leader has

made me a better teacher.

I grew up in Long Island, New York, in a Jewish-Italian

family; with a lot of food and a lot of guilt; a lot of wine and a lot

of whining. My parents were very loving but they were not the

most positive people in the world. My dad was a New York City

police officer who worked in undercover narcotics. He fought

crime every day and wasn’t a big fan of positivity. I remember

waking up in the morning and saying, “Good morning, Dad.”

He would say in his thick New York accent, “What’s so good

about it?” My dad was Al Bundy before Al Bundy was Al Bundy.

By the age of 31, I was a fearful, negative, stressed-out, and

miserable husband and father to two young children. My wife

had had enough. She gave me an ultimatum: Change or our

marriage was over. I knew she was right that I needed to

change. I knew that I was allowing the stress of life and the fear

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of not being able to provide for my family to get the best of me.

I told my wife I would change and began researching ways I

could be more positive. At the time, positive psychology was an

emerging field, and I read everything I could about it. I began to

practice positivity and write about the things I was doing. I met

Ken Blanchard, who became my role model. I began taking

“thank you” walks to practice gratitude, enjoy the outdoors,

and feel grateful instead of stressed. This was a life-changing

practice that not only energized me physically, emotionally,

and spiritually, but also provided time for many profound

insights and ideas to come to me.

One of these ideas was The Energy Bus. In case you haven’t

read it, it’s about a guy named George who is miserable and

negative. His team at work is in disarray and he has problems at

home. George was easy for me to write about because he was

based on me and my struggle with negativity and adversity.

George wakes up one Monday morning to discover his car has

a flat tire and he has to take the bus to work. On the bus, he

meets Joy the bus driver, who, along with a cast of characters,

teaches George the 10 rules for the ride of his life. Their advice

not only helps him become a more positive person, but also a

better father, husband, and leader at work. On one level,

George demonstrates that positivity is a difference maker in

business, education, life, and sports. On another level, George

represents the fact that every one of us will have to overcome

negativity, adversity, and challenges to ultimately define our­

selves and our team’s success.

Since The Energy Bus was published in 2007, I’ve had the

opportunity to work with many Fortune 500 companies, busi­

nesses, professional and college sports teams, hospitals, schools,

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and nonprofits that have utilized the book. I’ve met many

amazing positive leaders and have witnessed firsthand the power

of positive leadership. I’ve seen how they have led, inspired, and

transformed their teams and organizations. I’ve observed the

impact they have had and the results they have achieved. I’ve

also researched many positive leaders throughout history and

learned about their paths to success. There is indeed a power

associated with positive leadership, and my goal with this book

is twofold. First, I aim to explain how and why positive leaders

make a difference. Second, I intend to provide a simple frame­

work filled with practical ideas that will help anyone become a

positive leader. It’s one of the most important things a person

can do because one positive leader will inspire many others to

become positive leaders as well. My daughter wrote her college

admission essay last year and it said, “When I was young my mom

struggled with her health and my dad struggled with himself.

But over the years I watched my dad work to become a more

positive person. Then he started writing and speaking about it

and sharing his message with others. I saw people change for the

better and I know that if he can change, and they can change, the

world can change.” Her words brought tears to my eyes because

I realized that my one decision to be a positive leader not only

impacted my life but also my marriage, my children, my team at

work, and everyone around me. My hope is that you too will

discover the power of positive leadership in your own life.

I know that being a positive leader doesn’t just make you better;

it makes everyone around you better. You can start today!

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Chapter 2

Real Positive

We are not positive because life is easy.

We are positive because life can be hard.

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I t takes a lot of work to create a world-class organization. It’shard to develop a successful team. It’s not easy to build a great culture. It’s challenging to work toward a vision and

create a positive future. It’s difficult to change the world. As

a leader, you will face all kinds of challenges, adversity,

negativity, and tests. There will be times when it seems as if

everything in the world is conspiring against you. There will be

moments you’ll want to give up. There will be days when your

vision seems more like a fantasy than a reality. That’s why

positive leadership is so essential. When some people hear the

term positive leadership they roll their eyes because they

think I’m talking about Pollyanna positivity, where life is full

of unicorns and rainbows. But the truth is that we are not

positive because life is easy. We are positive because life can be

hard. Positive leadership is not about fake positivity. It is the

real stuff that makes great leaders great. Pessimists don’t change

the world. Critics write words but they don’t write the future.

Naysayers talk about problems but they don’t solve them.

Throughout history we see that it’s the optimists, the believers,

the dreamers, the doers, and the positive leaders who change

the world. The future belongs to those who believe in it

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and have the belief, resilience, positivity, and optimism to

overcome all the challenges in order to create it.

Research by Manju Puri and David Robinson, business

professors at Duke University, shows that optimistic people

work harder, get paid more, are elected to office more often,

and win at sports more regularly.1 Research by psychologist

Martin Seligman also shows that optimistic salespeople perform

better than their pessimistic counterparts.2 And psychologist

Barbara Fredrickson’s research demonstrates that people who

experience more positive emotions than negative ones are

more likely to see the bigger picture, build relationships, and

thrive in their work and career, whereas people who experi­

ence mostly negative emotions are more likely to have a

narrower perspective and tend to focus more on problems.3

Daniel Goleman’s research demonstrates that positive teams

perform at higher levels than negative teams.4 John Gottman’s

pioneering research on relationships found that marriages are

much more likely to succeed when the couple experiences a

five-to-one ratio of positive to negative interactions; when the

ratio approaches a one-to-one ratio, marriages are more likely

to end in divorce.5 Additional research also shows that work­

groups with positive-to-negative interaction ratios greater than

three to one are significantly more productive than teams that

do not reach this ratio. Teams with more negative interactions

are more likely to be stagnant and unproductive. The positive

energy you share with your team is significant. According to

Wayne Baker, the research he and Robert Cross conducted

shows that “the more you energize people in your workplace,

the higher your work performance.” Baker says that this occurs

because people want to be around you. You attract talent and

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people are more likely to devote their discretionary time to your

projects. They’ll offer new ideas, information, and opportuni­

ties to you before others.

Baker adds that the opposite is also true. If you de-energize

others, people won’t go out of their way to work with or help

you.6 Gallup estimates that negativity costs the economy

$250–$300 billion a year and affects the morale, performance,

and productivity of teams.

The research is clear. Positivity is about more than having a

positive state of mind. It’s also a life changer and gives people

a competitive advantage in business, sports, and politics.

While the pessimists are complaining about the future, the

energy vampires are sabotaging it, and the realists are talking

about it, the optimists are working hard with others to create it.

Puri and Robinson’s research shows that our attitude helps

create a self-fulfilling prophecy. Because optimists believe in a

positive future, they actually delude themselves into working

more to make it possible. Their belief makes them willing to

take actions to achieve it. As a result, positive leaders invest

their time and energy in driving a positive culture. They create

and share the vision for the road ahead. They lead with

optimism and belief and address and transform the negativity

that too often sabotages teams and organizations. They take

on the battle, overcome the negativity, face the adversity, and

keep moving forward. They devote all their energy and effort

to uniting and connecting their organization and invest in

relationships that truly build great teams. They believe in their

principles. They believe in their people. They believe in

teamwork. They believe in the future. They believe in what’s

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possible, so they act and do, connect and create, build and

transform their team and organization—and change the world.

In the following chapters I’m going to take you through a

simple, powerful model and framework you can utilize and

implement to enhance your leadership capabilities and put

your positive leadership into action.

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Chapter 3

Positive Leaders Drive Positive

Cultures

Culture is not just one thing. It’s everything.

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P ositive leaders drive positive cultures. I use the worddrive here because as a leader you are the driver of your bus and you have a big role and responsibility in creating the

kind of journey you and your team will experience. One year

I spoke at a school district and talked with all their leaders,

mostly school principals. I shared the same principles and

strategies with everyone. At the end of the year, I heard from

two principals from the district. One principal had given

every member of her staff The Energy Bus to read and

followed up with staff meetings where she discussed and

reinforced the principles each month. She focused all of her

energy on creating a positive culture, one meeting, one conver­

sation, one interaction, one positive message, one teacher, and

one student at a time. She completely transformed the morale,

engagement, energy, and culture of her school. The other

principal I heard from was very disappointed and told me

that she had handed a copy of The Energy Bus to all her teachers,

encouraged them to read it, and wondered why it didn’t have

much of an impact on her school and culture. I realized in that

moment that you can give a team a bus, but unless you have

drivers, it doesn’t move. It’s not a book that makes a difference.

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It’s not a lecture or a keynote. It’s the leader that makes the

difference. It’s the leader that must drive the culture.

Your Most Important Job

Your most important job as a leader is to drive the culture—and

not just any culture. You must create a positive culture that

energizes and encourages people, fosters connected relation­

ships and great teamwork, empowers and enables people to

learn and grow, and provides an opportunity for people to do

their best work. Culture is not just one thing; it’s everything.

Culture drives expectation and beliefs. Expectations and beliefs

drive behaviors. Behaviors drive habits. And habits create the

future. It all starts with the culture you create and drive

throughout the organization. That’s where all success and great

results begin.

Driving your culture is not something you can delegate.

You are the leader and you must spend your time, energy, and

effort creating and building the culture of your team and

organization. Nancy Koeper, the retired president of UPS for

the Northwest Region, made culture her number-one priority as

she drove a positive culture through an organization that was,

literally, full of drivers. She wanted to improve engagement and

morale, so she rolled out The Energy Bus to the 1,000 leaders

she led with the intent of enhancing positive leadership, posi­

tive interactions, and improved relationships with the UPS

drivers. Her leaders all read the book, then discussed ways

to implement the ideas. They then rolled out The Energy Bus to

their 11,000 drivers in the district by simply focusing on

positivity, positive interactions, and improved relationships. I

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had yet to have a company measure results after utilizing The

Energy Bus, so it was exciting to hear from Nancy a year later.

She reported that engagement, morale, and performance had

risen while disengagement and absenteeism had fallen. Nancy

drove the UPS bus and it made all the difference.

Alan Mulally, the former CEO of Ford, led one of the most

incredible corporate turnarounds in history. In 2006, when he

stepped into the CEO role, the automaker had just suffered an

annual loss of $12.7 billion and was on the verge of bankruptcy.

In just a few short years under his leadership, Ford was back in

the black and the company saw an annual profit every year

since 2009. Mulally credited this improbable feat on the organi­

zation’s focus on driving and building a “One Ford” culture that

was centered on the idea of “One Team” where everyone in the

organization was committed to the enterprise and to each other.

A cultural shift like this doesn’t happen by accident. Mulally

shared with me his management system, a simple but powerful

set of principles, philosophies, behaviors, and processes he

designed to create a culture at Ford that fostered unity, team­

work, appreciation, transparency, safety, and even joy. I’ll share

more of what I learned from Mulally, who defines his leadership

as positive leadership, throughout the book because he’s one of

history’s greatest examples of positive leadership and he dem­

onstrates that great cultures happen when positive leaders know

their most important job is to drive the culture.

Culture Beats Strategy

When Apple was just the two Steves (Jobs and Wozniak), they

knew the culture they wanted to create. They would be the

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culture that challenged the status quo. Everything they did,

including hiring people, running campaigns, and creating

products, was influenced by this culture. Even after Steve Jobs’s

death, the culture continues to influence everything they do. It’s

why Apple is famous for stating the maxim that “culture beats

strategy.” You have to have the right strategy of course, but it is

your culture that will determine whether your strategy is

successful. I believe Apple will be successful as long as they

innovate and create from the strength of their culture. If they

lose their culture they will lose their way and, like many of the

mighty that have come before them, they will fall.

Very few people understand the importance of culture

more than Rick Hendrick, the owner and founder of Hendrick

Automotive Group and Hendrick Motorsports. In a world

where there are thousands of car dealerships and many NAS­

CAR racing teams, Hendrick Automotive is the largest privately

owned dealer group in the United States, and Hendrick Motor-

sports is the winningest racing organization in the modern

NASCAR era. Through speaking to the leaders of Hendrick

Automotive and Jimmie Johnson’s racing team (owned by

Hendrick Motorsports), I have witnessed the incredible culture

in both organizations. It’s clear that they are driven by the same

person. Rick Hendrick’s signature leadership and drive are

ingrained in everything they do. His people are humble,

hungry, thankful, kind, and appreciative. They are on a quest

for greatness. Their buildings are spotless. Their energy is

always positive and contagious. Everyone wants to be the

best and win. When you spend time with two companies—

when you see the success of his automotive dealerships and

the Jeff Gordon, Jimmie Johnson, and Dale Earnhardt, Jr. racing

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teams—you realize that culture not only beats strategy, but it

also fuels it and drives people and organizations to record

growth and performance.

Know What You Stand For

You might be wondering where to start when driving and

building a culture. I believe it starts with two questions: 1) What

do we stand for? 2) What do we want to be known for? While

visiting Hendrick Automotive, I asked several of Rick’s leaders

what they stood for, and they all said servant leadership. They

told me that Rick leads the way and, in doing so, puts himself

last in every decision he makes for his organization. He is very

focused on making sure everyone’s voice is heard because it is

the team that shapes the company today, tomorrow, and in the

future. His executive staff knows that Rick expects them to

serve the people they lead in the same way. Teamwork through

trust and respect is also one of Hendrick’s core organizational

values. One of Rick’s mantras is “None of us is as smart as all of

us.” He constantly states, “People are our biggest asset! If we

take care of our people they will take care of our customers,

and if we work together we will all accomplish more.” This

principle comes to life through weekly and monthly meetings

where employees share best practices. Having the high per­

formers share how they win in the market lifts the whole

company.

As you would expect, Rick is all about integrity and doing

the right thing, doing what you say you will do, and being

honest and telling the truth regardless of the situation. Leaders

at Hendrick Automotive and Hendrick Motorsports also told me

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they have a passion for winning and don’t give up until they do

so. Accountability and commitment to continuous improve­

ment help them improve individually and collectively as a team

and organization. They want to be known for their culture and

winning ways. They celebrate their past success and make it

very clear they expect future success. Yet, despite all their

success, they are a culture that believes in developing champi­

ons who serve others. They want to be known for making a

difference in the lives of others and their community. Hendrick

leaders are extremely selective in whom they hire. Only people

who fit their culture, embrace the same values, and possess a

high level of professionalism are added to the team. Because, as

an organization, Hendrick knows what their culture stands for,

they are able to choose the right people who fit their culture

and who stand for the same things. They also invest heavily to

train and develop their people in order to sustain success and

retain their talent. Brad Stevens, the head coach of the Boston

Celtics, once told me that your culture is not only your tradition,

but also the people in the locker room who carry it on. When

you have people who fit your culture and carry it on, it comes to

life in a powerful way.

I’ve also had the opportunity to speak to Southwest Airlines

a few years ago, and they told me how consultants suggested

they charge passengers to check luggage since the competition

was doing it and they could make hundreds of millions of

dollars in additional revenue. Southwest considered their pro­

posal but in the process asked themselves an important ques­

tion: Is this what we stand for? They went straight to their

purpose statement: “To connect People to what’s important in

their lives through friendly, reliable, and low-cost air travel.”

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They ultimately decided that if they were for everyday fliers and

low-cost air travel, they shouldn’t charge baggage fees. You

would think they would have missed out on a lot of money, but

a funny thing happened. Southwest started to get new custom­

ers because the airline didn’t charge for bags. They ran adver­

tising campaigns highlighting the fact that bags fly free, and

they gained market share in the process. Their revenue grew to

new heights. It’s a great example that once you know what

you stand for, decisions are easy to make. When your culture

dictates your decisions, you are on the right path to positive

results.

More than Words

Driving a positive, high-performing culture requires more than

words. After all, everyone has a mission statement, but only the

great organizations also have people who are on a mission. The

greatest mission statement in the world is pointless unless your

people are on a mission. When I speak to leaders, I always tell

them that it doesn’t matter what core values you have written

on the walls of your building and website if you don’t live and

breathe them every day. Remember Enron? One of their core

values was integrity.

As a positive leader, you can’t just show the way and

talk about the way. You must also lead the way. You must

live your culture and know that it is an extension of who you are

as a leader. If you don’t set the example and live the values—if

you aren’t on a mission—your culture won’t come to life. The

same goes for the people on your team and in your organiza­

tion. Everyone creates the culture. Leaders define what your

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culture stands for, and your people define whether or not

they stand for your culture. Education expert Todd Whitaker

says that the unwritten rules in an organization are more

important than the written ones. The rules you set with your

example are what your organization is really all about, so make

sure you live and breathe the values written on the walls. Don’t

tell the world your mission statement. Show the world you are

on a mission. Then energize and empower your people to be

culture drivers and culture builders. Positive leaders know they

can’t do it alone. Culture starts with the leader living it and

inspiring and empowering others to live it as well.

Positively Contagious

As a leader, the energy you put into your team and culture

determines the quality of it. Research from the HeartMath

Institute (www.heartmath.org) shows that when you have a

feeling in your heart, it goes to every cell in the body, then

outward—and people up to 10 feet away can sense the feelings

transmitted by your heart.7 This means that each day you are

broadcasting to your team how you feel. You are broadcasting

either negative energy or positive energy, apathy or passion,

indifference or purpose. Research from Harvard University also

supports the idea that the emotions you feel are contagious and

affect the people around you.8 Your team is just as likely to

catch your bad mood as the flu and, on the flip side, they will

catch your good mood as well. As a leader your attitude,

energy, and leadership is contagious, and it has a big impact

on your culture. Great cultures and teams are built with posi­

tive, contagious energy, so it’s essential that you share those

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types of feelings. When you walk into the office or the meeting,

or onto the field, you have a decision to make: Are you going to

be a germ to your team or a big dose of vitamin C? Please know

that you don’t have to be an extrovert to be positively conta­

gious. Sharing positive energy doesn’t mean you have to be a

rah-rah leader and bounce off the walls. It means that from the

heart you simply broadcast the love, passion, positivity, and

purpose that you have for your team, organization, and mis­

sion. It comes more from your essence than it does your words.

When Winston Churchill was leading Great Britain during

WWII in its fight for survival against Hitler, people commented

that Churchill looked 20 years younger than he did before the

war. During Great Britain’s darkest hour, Churchill was ener­

gized by the seemingly impossible task before him and his

country, and he inspired his nation with passion and contagious

energy. His famous words and speeches were a manifestation

of his inner strength and conviction.

Create a Culture that People Feel

When I visited West Point in the summer of 2014, the USA

Basketball Men’s National Team happened to be visiting at the

same time. Head coach Mike “Coach K” Krzyzewski brought

the team there to understand what it truly means to represent

the United States of America. Coach K knew the place was

special. After all, he attended West Point, played basketball

there under Bob Knight, returned as the head coach after his

five years of military service, and coached there for five years

before becoming the head coach of Duke University. Coach K

knew the players wouldn’t fully understand how special the

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place was by hearing him talk about it. They had to experience

and feel it. He said, “You can’t talk about this place, see a movie

about this place, you have to feel this place. You go to a place

like this, you get it.” Coach K knew it was the same when

talking about service and sacrifice. The players had to feel it, so

at the beginning of their visit, Coach K brought the team to the

West Point Cemetery, where they had a meeting with family

members of fallen soldiers. The players on Team USA listened

as the family members told them about their children and how

they died serving their country. The players may have under­

stood the concepts of service and sacrifice before, but after

seeing the graves of the fallen soldiers, listening to personal

stories, and feeling the loss of the family members, they truly

got it. It’s also a powerful lesson for all of us. Feeling is more

powerful than hearing. You can’t just create a culture where

people hear about what’s important. You must create a culture

where people feel what’s important. You must create a culture

where people don’t just hear your talk but rather they feel your

walk. When they feel the mission and also hear about the

mission, they’ll be on a mission.

Invest in the Root if You Want the Fruit

If culture is so important then why don’t more leaders focus

on it? It’s because culture is not easily quantifiable. You can

measure sales. You can measure revenue, costs, profits, goals,

wins and losses, outcomes and results, but it’s not easy to

measure the health and strength of your culture. Culture

building also requires a lot of work, time, energy, and focus

to drive and sustain it. It’s a lot easier to simply measure the

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fruit of the tree than it is to cultivate the root. The world

measures leaders by their results, and this causes many

leaders to focus only on the results and outcomes, meaning,

they focus on the fruit of the tree and ignore the root.

However, we know that if you focus on the fruit and ignore

the root, the tree dies. That’s not my opinion. It’s the truth, and

we see it play out all too often on sports teams, businesses,

hospitals, schools, churches, and families. If you want the

fruit, you must invest in the root. If you invest in the root, you

will always receive a great supply of fruit. Of course you

should measure your fruit, but you should do so knowing that

it’s simply a byproduct of how well you are nurturing the root.

Your culture is your root, and your focus should be on the

process that nourishes and produces the fruit.

In the book You Win in the Locker Room First, which I co­

wrote with Coach Mike Smith, we discussed how, during his

first five years as the head coach of the Atlanta Falcons, he was

the second winningest coach in the league, behind only Bill

Belichick. But during the next two seasons, he only won 10

total games. What happened? During the fifth season, the

Falcons made it to the NFC championship. They were one

play and 10 yards away from going to the Super Bowl. They

failed to make the play and lost the game, and after that they

became an organization that only focused on getting to the

Super Bowl.

During Mike’s first five years as head coach, the Falcons

were simply focused on the process, the culture, the connec­

tions, and the relationships in the locker room, including all

the little things that made them successful. But during the next

two years, everyone in the organization, including Mike, was

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focused only on the outcome. If they didn’t make it to the

Super Bowl, the season would be considered a failure by

the media, the fan base, and many within the organization.

The pressure was on and everyone in the organization felt it.

Mike says he allowed that to steer the Falcons away from the

very things that had made the team successful during those

five winning years. Mike said he did a poor job of making sure

the new members of the team, staff, and organization under­

stood the culture they had worked so hard to create. Everyone

learned the hard way that culture can change almost as

quickly as the momentum in a football game. Mike says he

let outside forces and pressure weaken their culture. The team

stopped investing in the root and Mike says the world

watched as their tree withered. It was a lesson he would

never forget.

You Must Keep Building Your Culture

Mike Smith learned that a culture will not sustain itself. You

must sustain it. You must continue to build it, reinforce it, live it,

protect it, and fight for it. Positive leaders don’t live in a

Pollyanna world. They understand that every day there are

forces seeking to sabotage their culture and success, and so

they work relentlessly to keep it strong. I was recently giving a

talk at the American Baseball Coaches Association convention

and Kyle Stark, the assistant general manager for the Pittsburgh

Pirates, was in the audience. I shared how Kyle was obsessed

with culture and always looking for ways to strengthen it.

When I saw Kyle after my talk, I apologized for saying he

was obsessed. He said, “It’s fine. You’re right. I am obsessed. It’s

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one of the things that helped us turn this organization around

from a perennial loser to a perennial contender and I’m not

letting up. I will continue to fight for and build upon what we

have built.”

I’ve learned from many of these great leaders that you must

invest in your culture in such a way that it becomes stronger

than all the forces trying to sabotage it. I’ve learned that you

and your team must value your culture to the point that you

will fight for it. I’ve learned that when you create a culture

worth fighting for and invest in your people to the degree that

they want to fight for your culture and for each other, your

organization will have the grit and strength to overcome the

challenges you face and become an unstoppable and positive

force.

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Chapter 4

Positive Leaders Create and Share a Positive Vision

It’s important to have a compelling vision and a

comprehensive plan. Positive leadership—conveying

the idea that there is always a way forward—is so

important because that is what you are here for—to

figure out how to move the organization forward.

—Alan Mulally

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P ositive leadership is all about seeing and creating a brighterand better future. It’s about inventing, innovating, creating, building, improving, and transforming education, healthcare,

business, government, technology, farming, design, communi­

ties, cities, transportation, and every aspect of our lives and the

world we live in. Some scoff when leaders share bold ideas,

imaginative goals, and seemingly impossible dreams, but ideas,

imagination, and dreams are the fabric positive leaders weave

together to create the future and change the world.

At one time, Star Wars was just an idea in the mind of

George Lucas, but now the Force is as strong as ever. J.K.

Rowling had a vision of Harry Potter and now he’s an iconic

part of our society—and as real as a roller-coaster in Universal

Studios. John F. Kennedy had a vision for sending a man to the

moon. Ronald Reagan saw the Berlin Wall come down before it

crumbled. Steve Jobs imagined the iPod and iPhone long

before the world was addicted to them. Abraham Lincoln

envisioned a united America. Martin Luther King, Jr., had a

dream about equality. George Washington had thoughts of

revolution and freedom before fighting for independence.

A positive leader sees what’s possible and then takes the

next steps to rally and unite people to create it. Every

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invention, project, creation, and transformation starts with an

idea, an imagination, and a vision of what’s possible. History

shows us that if you can see it, you can create it. If you have a

vision, then you also have the power to make it happen.

Positive leaders tap into the power of a vision and find a way

forward. But in order to rally people to follow you, you must

be able to articulate and communicate your vision in a simple,

clear, bold, and compelling way. Whether it’s Ford’s One

Ford, IBM’s Let’s Build a Smarter Planet, GM’s Design, build

and sell the world’s best vehicles, Feeding America’s A hun­

ger-free America, Alzheimer’s Association’s a world without

Alzheimer’s, or Fort Bend Independent School District’s

vision to inspire and equip students to create a future beyond

what students can imagine, a vision serves as a rallying cry

that unites and ignites people. It’s not meant to be a novel as

long as War and Peace or a paragraph filled with buzzwords

and jargon that no one understands, remembers, or cares

about. It’s meant to be simple, memorable, compelling, and

exciting. Remember, Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “I have a

dream.” He didn’t say,”I have a strategic plan that I think

might work.”

A North Star

Doug Conant, the former CEO of Campbell Soup, told me the

most important thing he did when he became the leader of

the company was to share the vision. He said he shared it

before every meeting. Whether the meeting was just a few

people or hundreds gathered for a sales meeting, he shared

the vision: To build the world’s most extraordinary food

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company by nourishing people’s lives everywhere, every day.

He told me that he kept sharing and reinforcing the vision in

order to align everyone in the company and point them in the

right direction. He didn’t stop saying it once he had steered

the company away from the brink of bankruptcy and into

profitability. He kept sharing the vision over and over again,

letting everyone know where they were going and why they

were going there.

The vision a positive leader creates and shares serves as a

North Star that points and moves everyone in an organization in

the right direction. The leader must continually point to this

North Star and remind everyone that this is where we are going.

Yes, we were here yesterday. Yes, this is what happened in the

past. But this is where we are going now. We don’t have a

perfect set of plans because the world is always changing, but

we do have a North Star that will guide us. We don’t have a

perfect road map, but we have a path forward and we have

each other. Let’s keep our eyes on the North Star and keep

moving forward.

Sharing a vision and a North Star is important because

everyone needs one. Everyone needs something to hope for

and work toward. As humans, we have an innate desire to be

great and do something great. We have a longing to improve

and create a brighter and better future and, yet, so often fear

holds us back. Stress weakens us. Obstacles test our resolve.

Adversity makes us want to give up. A leader who shares a

vision and a way forward is a dealer in hope, a believer in the

impossible, a champion of what’s possible, and a coach who

guides and inspires a team to keep improving, and keep

moving forward.

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A Telescope and Microscope

As a positive leader you will want to carry a telescope and a

microscope with you on your journey. The telescope helps you

and your team keep your eyes on your vision, North Star, and

big picture. The microscope helps you zoom-focus on the

things you must do in the short term to realize the vision

in your telescope. If you have only a telescope, then you’ll be

thinking about your vision all the time and dreaming about

the future but not taking the necessary steps to realize it. If you

have only a microscope, then you’ll be working hard every

day but set-backs and challenges will likely frustrate and

discourage you because you’ll lose sight of the big picture.

You need to frequently pull out your telescope to remind

yourself and your team where you are going, and you’ll need

to look through your microscope daily in order to focus on

what matters most and follow through on your commitments.

Together they will help you take your team and organization

where you want to go.

A simple exercise I like to do with leaders at the end of my

talks is to have them each write down their big-picture vision

for their team and a zoom-focused action they will focus on in

order to be a better leader. As a leader, you can do this simple

exercise with the members of your team and organization.

Simply have each person identify his or her vision and one

action they will commit to in order to achieve it.

Dabo Swinney’s Vision

I’ve worked with Dabo Swinney and Clemson football for the

past five years. A few years ago, Dabo told me that the day

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after he was named the interim head coach of the team,

midway through the 2008 season, he had an early-morning

meeting with the board of trustees. He hadn’t slept much the

night before and had a lot on his mind. During the meeting,

one of the trustees said his vision was that Clemson would

create a program that was like other schools that had great

academics and great football. Dabo was tired and wanted to

say something but he kept telling himself, “Don’t say it, don’t

say it, don’t say it.” In the end, he couldn’t help himself. He

responded to the trustee and said, “Sir, I don’t mean this

disrespectfully but that’s not my vision at all. My vision is

much bigger than that. My vision is that we will create a

program where all the football programs you mentioned want

to be like us. That’s my vision.”

At the time, they most likely thought Dabo was just filled

with a lot of positive words, but he had both a telescope and

microscope with him on his journey. In 2011, he crystallized his

philosophy that best would be the Clemson standard. Every­

thing they did on and off the field was about excellence and

being their best. Between 2011 and the writing of this book,

Clemson has won at least 10 games every year, made it to the

College Football Playoff (CFP) National Championship game

two years in a row, and won it this year. More importantly,

in a Wall Street Journal article ranking all the football pro­

grams by success on the field and in the classroom, only

Clemson and Stanford were featured in the top-right quadrant

of the graph, which means they are the two schools with the

highest achievement combining both academic and football

success. When Dabo showed me the article and the graph, he

said it was what he was most proud of. It was his vision from the

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moment he took the job, and every day he and his coaches and

team worked to realize it.

A funny story about this journey is that when Dabo became

the head coach, he asked his athletic director at the time for a

television for his office to watch game and practice footage. The

athletic director told him it wasn’t in his budget and they

couldn’t buy him one. So Dabo went to the store and, with

his own money, bought a television, which he still uses to this

day. Sure the television screens are much more high tech than

they were in 2008, but this television is special to him. While

wrapping his arms around it in a joking way, he told me that if

he ever leaves Clemson, he’s taking that TV with him. Fast

forward to 2017: Clemson just built a $55 million football facility

with the latest training and recovery technology, nap rooms, a

bowling alley, swimming pool, and all the televisions Dabo

wants. The finest college football facility in the world is a

testament to the power of one person’s vision.

Dabo, like most big-time college coaches, had a vision of

winning a national championship. When I arrived during train­

ing camp to speak to the team before the 2015 season, Dabo

gave me a t-shirt that said “Dream the Dream” on the front and

“15 for 15, January 11, 2016” on the back. I asked him what that

meant. He said it was a vision he had when he woke up from a

dream. “I had a dream we were going to play in the national

championship on January 11 and go for our 15th straight win of

the season. The vision is to win all 15 games we play, hence 15

for 15.” At the time, I wondered who could be bold enough to

put that on a shirt. By the end of the season, I realized the same

guy who was bold enough to make those t-shirts was also bold

enough to say that he would have a pizza party at the Clemson

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football stadium (nicknamed Death Valley) if the team made it

to the college football playoffs. Well, they made it and 30,000

people showed up for the pizza party. At the time, when Dabo

said they would have a pizza party, he had no idea how many

would show up or how he would feed everyone. But like in the

movie Field of Dreams, if you build it, they will come. Pizza

restaurants from across the state came together to provide all

the pizza and it was one amazing party.

If you watched the 2015 National Championship, you know

that Clemson lost to Alabama and failed to make Dabo’s dream

a reality. But after the game I sat in the locker room and watched

an incredible display of positive leadership that I will never

forget. Dabo told the team that he was so proud of them and

that they just didn’t make enough plays to beat a team as good

as Alabama. He went on to praise his team and all they had

accomplished and thanked the seniors for the legacy of excel­

lence they had left. Then he began talking about the coming

year and how excited he was for the future. He shared the

vision for the returning players and said, “We will be coming

back next year.” For the next few minutes he pulled out his

telescope and shared what the future looked like and all that

they were going to do. I was blown away. Here, he and his

team had just lost the National Championship, and Dabo was

already inspiring his team with a vision for the future. In that

moment he taught me that positive leaders, despite the cir­

cumstances, obstacles, and set-backs, keep the vision alive

and continue to share it to inspire others. Dabo kept the vision

alive all season and Clemson made it back to the 2016 National

Championship to play Alabama again, but this time they won

with a dramatic touchdown with one second left on the clock.

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Talk about a once-in-a-lifetime moment, a vision realized, a

dream achieved!

Keep the Vision Alive

To understand the importance of keeping your vision alive, let’s

look at marathon runners. The fewest number of people quit a

marathon in the first mile. And the second fewest runners quit

in the last mile. I would expect a lot to quit in the last mile

because, by that point, they have been running the longest and

should be the most physically tired. But they don’t quit because

they are so close to the finish line. They don’t quit because they

can see the end in sight. They have a vision of where they are

going and they keep running towards it. It shows the power of

the mind and vision. The body should give up but it doesn’t

because the mind sees the finish line. The most people quit a

marathon in the 20th mile. That is where they are physically

tired and mentally drained. They have run far and still have a

long way to go. They lose their vision and so they give up.

When I speak to companies, schools, and organizations, I

encourage the participants to write down when they experi­

ence their 20th mile. We all have a 20th mile. Then, I encourage

them to write down the words “Keep your vision alive” because

if you keep your vision alive, you won’t stop. You won’t give

up. Like Dabo you’ll keep moving forward and inspiring your

team along the way.

Make the Vision Come Alive

We’ve been talking about a lot of concepts and ideas, but my

goal with this book is not to just share principles and stories and

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philosophy, but also practical ideas you can implement. In this

spirit, one of the simple ways to transform ideas and visions

into results is to have a conversation with the people you lead.

You may be the leader of 150 people, 1,500 people, or 15,000

people, but for the purpose of this exercise you will do this with

your direct reports, and then each person you lead will do this

with their direct reports and so on and so on throughout the

team and organization. During each conversation, you share

the vision and you ask each person to identify what it means to

him or her. For the vision to come to life, it must have meaning

to us individually. For example, before I spoke to the leaders of

Palmetto Health in South Carolina, I interviewed a bunch of

people who worked in their hospitals and asked them the

vision and what it meant to them. Amazingly, each person was

able to recite the vision and tell me specifically how it resonated

on an individual level.

After the people on your team identify what the vision

means to them, ask them what their personal vision is and how

it can help contribute to the bigger vision of the organization.

Then ask them how you can help them on their journey. What

do they need from you to be their best? Finally, ask them how

they would like you to hold them accountable. If you have an

open and honest conversation like this with each person you

lead and continue to communicate and discuss their personal

and organizational visions throughout the year, you’ll see the

power of a vision come to life. When people know how they

are contributing to a bigger vision and have a bigger purpose at

work—and feel like their manager-leader-coach genuinely

cares about them—the research shows that engagement soars.

We will talk more about this later in the book, but for now

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consider this a great way to share, discuss, and bring the vision

to life, one person at a time.

My Vision

I love learning and talking about the power of a vision because

it’s a vision that has driven me to overcome all the obstacles I

have faced to do the work I do now. In 2005 I was on a plane

headed to a speaking engagement in Portland, Oregon. I was

energized about speaking and thinking about how much the

three restaurant franchises I owned were draining me. While

reading a magazine, I came across an article that was titled

“How to Know When to Sell Your Business,” and I thought that

maybe it was time to sell the restaurants. On my way home, I

read a completely different magazine and came across an

article titled “How to Value Your Business When Selling.” I

didn’t think it was a coincidence, so when I walked in the door

of my house, I told my wife it was time to sell the restaurants.

The signs were clear. I was going to do what I loved and focus

100 percent of my time and energy on writing and speaking. My

wife wasn’t as excited and optimistic. She asked what would

happen if it didn’t work out. I was only doing a few speaking

engagements a month, didn’t have a best-selling book, and we

certainly weren’t going to get rich from selling the restaurants.

We could survive a year or two, but if writing and speaking

didn’t work out, then what?!?! I told her there were no other

options. Somehow, some way, it was going to work out. And it

was then that my vision was born. I was going to inspire and

empower as many people as possible, one person at a time. Six

months after selling the restaurants, I was walking and praying

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because the writing and speaking weren’t going well and I was

filled with fear and doubt. That’s when the idea for The Energy

Bus came to me. When I returned home I ran upstairs to my

home office and started writing. Three and a half weeks later I

had a manuscript that I sent out, which lead to over 30 rejection

letters from publishers. The agent I had found told me I should

consider giving up on finding a publisher and just self-publish.

In those days self-publishing wasn’t mainstream like it is now,

so that route felt like a letdown.

I thought about giving up, but I couldn’t. I had a vision and I

kept thinking about it. A few weeks later while sitting in a

Barnes and Noble and dreaming about my own book being on

the shelf, I saw several books published by John Wiley and

Sons and realized we hadn’t sent my manuscript to them yet. I

asked the agent to send it to them, which she did, and it landed

on the desk of Shannon Vargo. Shannon had only been on the

job for a few months but she read the manuscript and decided

she wanted to publish it. It turns out she had a best friend with a

husband named George, the name of the main character, and

she also liked the story. I remember getting the call that they

were going to publish it. It was truly one of the best moments of

my life. The publisher said they wouldn’t give me a lot of

money for an advance but they could publish it in six months. I

was more than excited because I didn’t care about the money. I

just wanted this book out there so I could live and share my

vision.

When the book came out it was surprisingly a huge hit in

South Korea. It was a top-ten best seller there, but not one

bookstore in the United States would carry it. My vision was

being tested. I decided to go on a 28-city tour to share the

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message about the book and, hopefully, inspire and empower

as many people as possible, one person at a time. I mapped out

a plan for the tour, drove cross country, and gradually made my

way back to Florida, one city at a time. My friend Daniel

Decker, who is still my business partner, called up local radio

and television stations a few days before I arrived in each city

and tried to book me on their shows. We planned a book

signing or a talk at a local library or coffee shop in each city. We

honestly didn’t have an efficient and effective plan, but we did

have a lot of hustle and grit. We said I was internationally

known, which was true since I was a best seller in South Korea,

and, fortunately, I was able to get on a bunch of local television

and radio shows, but only a few people showed up to my

events. We had five people in one city. Ten people in another

city. We had a big crowd of 20 to 30 people in a few cities, and

the biggest turnout was about 100 people in Des Moines, Iowa.

I believe they showed up because they thought Jeff Gordon,

the NASCAR driver, was coming.

The tour wasn’t easy. I had two young children at home

with my wife and I missed them a lot. I drove thousands of miles

through the desert and cornfields and mountains, and got sick

along the way in Kansas and Nebraska. Thankfully, Jim Van

Allan, my college intern at the time, who is now a great trainer,

speaker, and workshop leader for my company, was able to

drive The Energy Bus and me to a few cities while I slept and

recovered. I gave everything I had on that tour and focused on

inspiring and empowering anyone who came to see me. The

interesting thing was that I met a school principal in one city

and that lead to a speaking engagement at a school. I met a

businessman and that lead to a speaking engagement at a

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company. I met a coach and that lead me to speak to my first

pro sports team. I didn’t have a great plan, but my vision kept

me going and it lead to many of the great relationships I have to

this day. Ten years later, my vision still keeps me going. It’s the

reason why I wrote this book, created Positive University, and

started The Energy Bus for Schools program, where our mission

is to transform the negativity prevalent in education to create

positive school cultures and develop positive leaders (both

adults and students). I’ve experienced the power of a vision in

my own life and I know what is possible when you see it and

act on it. I don’t tell you my story so you’ll be impressed with

me. I tell it so you’ll look inside yourself and look out into the

world and know that you possess the greatest power in the

universe: the power to see a positive future and create it.

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Chapter 5

Positive Leaders Lead with Optimism,

Positivity, and Belief

The most important characteristic of a leader is optimism.

—Bob Iger, CEO of Disney

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T he research shows that optimism is a competitive advan­tage, but we don’t need research to tell us what we already know to be true. After all, if you don’t believe in your

vision and where you are going, and you are not optimistic

that you’ll get there, you’ll be like the many who give up

before reaching their goal and dream. They give up because

of the struggle, the negativity, the frustration, the adversity,

the fear, the rejection, the naysayers, and the circumstances

that seem insurmountable. They give up because they don’t

have the optimism, positivity, and belief to keep moving

forward. But you don’t have to give up. You don’t have to

settle for the status quo. You can see a brighter and better

future and work to create it. Do you remember me talking

about Rick Hendrick in Chapter 3? He is the man who built

both the Hendrick Automotive Group into the largest pri­

vately owned dealer group in the United States and turned

Hendrick Motorsports into the winningest racing organization

in the modern era. Well you probably won’t be surprised to

know that he lists optimism as his number-one key to success;

faith comes in second, attitude sixth, and enthusiasm tenth.

Optimism, positivity, and belief are the fuel that positive

leaders need to keep moving forward and drive results.

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When Donna Orender was the senior VP of strategic

development for the PGA Tour, she helped the Tour forge a

new path forward, launched new tournaments, developed

revenue models that didn’t exist yet, implemented ideas and

initiatives that had never been done, and exponentially

increased television revenue and grew the popularity of the

game. How did she do it? The same way she uplifted, trans­

formed, and grew the popularity of professional women’s

basketball as commissioner of the WNBA. Orender leads

with optimism and has a system to build collective belief in

her team and organization. When she became the commis­

sioner of the WNBA, there was a lot of negativity amongst the

people in the corporate office. There was a feeling that no one

cared about women’s basketball and a lack of belief that the

organization could be successful. But Orender saw the passion

and optimism in the coaches and players, and she believed in

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them and in the future of the WNBA. Orender identified the

believers and began building an optimistic belief system

around them. Then she showed proof of concept and early

successes to the next level of believers and got them to buy in

and believe in the WNBA’s future. She focused on one success

at a time. She said, “You have to give people excuses to say yes.

Some will be all in based on what you say. Some you need to

show.” For those who still didn’t believe, she had to help them

leave, letting them know they weren’t in the right place.

Orender said, “I always believe in what’s possible. There

isn’t a problem that can’t be solved. There are often multiple

answers and you have to find the best one. This isn’t Pollyanna

positive. You must not only be positive but effective too. You

can be positive but not effective. It’s about deciding the highest

and best use of our energy. Once you decide the way forward,

you execute.”

It’s hard to find someone who exemplified the power of

optimism and belief more than Marva Collins. Frustrated by the

bureaucracy and inadequate teaching in public education, in

1975 she started her own elementary school, Westside Prepar­

atory School, in Garfield Park, an impoverished Chicago neigh­

borhood. There she taught children, many of whom had been

wrongly labeled as “learning disabled,” to read, write, and study

classical literature. The system said they couldn’t learn, but

Collins believed that with discipline, structure, hard work, and

positive reinforcement they could, and many of her former

students say she inspired them to believe as well. She would

often put her hand under their chins, lift their heads up, and say,

“You are brilliant.” One of her students said when you keep

hearing that you are brilliant, you start to believe it. The

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television show 60 Minutes did a special on Collins and brought

a bunch of her former students back for a reunion. Many of

those who were told they had learning disabilities were now

teachers, attorneys, sales leaders, and successful college grad­

uates. They are living proof of the power of a positive leader

who believed in them and was optimistic about their future.

Believe It and You’ll See It

People often say they’ll believe it when they see it. But in

order to see results you have to believe they are possible.

William Bratton was the New York City police commissioner

under Mayor Rudy Giuliani during the ’90s, when the city

had a major crime problem. Many said it was a hopeless

problem that couldn’t be solved, but they solved it. Years

later, Bratton was asked how he did it. He said he met

individually with the chiefs in each of the five boroughs

and asked each one of them the same question, “Do you

believe crime can be reduced in your area?” Three of the

chiefs said no and two said yes. Bratton said, “Unfortunately,

I had to fire three people that day. Why play the game if you

don’t believe you can win?”

Doug Conant faced a similar challenge when he became

the CEO of The Campbell Soup Company. At the time the iconic

soup company was likely headed towards bankruptcy or about

to be bought by another company. Conant said one of the first

things he had to do after evaluating the business and the

company was fire 300 of the company’s top 350 leaders

because these leaders didn’t believe Campbell Soup could

be turned around. They didn’t see or believe in a way forward,

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so he had to replace them with optimists who would help him

transform the company. Together, they focused on their new

vision, created a highly engaged workforce and culture, and

produced a remarkable turnaround.

If You Don’t Have It, You Can’t Share It

Please know that I’m not saying as a leader that you should fire

all your pessimists. What worked for William Bratton and Doug

Conant may not work for everyone. Every situation is different.

I’m simply providing examples that demonstrate the impor­

tance of a leader’s optimism and belief in overcoming chal­

lenges and turning around negative, seemingly hopeless

situations. The fact is, if you don’t have optimism and belief,

you can’t share it. If you don’t have it, you can’t transform your

team and organization with it. It starts first and foremost with

you. Before you look at anyone else on your team and in your

organization, look in the mirror and ask yourself: Are you a

positive leader? Do you believe? Are you optimistic? Are you

feeding others with the positivity they need to succeed? Per­

haps you are like me and are not naturally positive. Perhaps

you have to work at it. The great news is that you can cultivate

it. You can become more positive as a leader. You can feed

yourself with positivity so you can share it with others.

Feed the Positive Dog

In my book The Positive Dog, Matt and Bubba are two dogs living

in a shelter. Matt, who everyone calls Mutt, is really negative.

Bubba is a positive dog who teaches Matt an important lesson.

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He says that we all have two dogs inside of us. We have a

negative dog and a positive dog, and they fight all the time.

Matt asks Bubba who wins the fight, to which Bubba replies,

“The one you feed the most, so feed the positive dog.” I based

this story on an ancient fable about two wolves, but whether

we are talking about wolves, dogs, or humans, we all have

a positive-versus-negative battle going on each day. Every

moment and every situation presents to us an opportunity to

see and experience the positive or the negative. Each day we

can feed the positive dog or the negative dog inside of us, and

whichever one we feed, grows. So feed the positive dog.

Talk to Yourself

Dr. James Gills accomplished the remarkable feat of complet­

ing a double triathlon (two triathlons back to back with only a

24-hour break). Even more remarkable is that Gills completed a

double triathlon six times, and the last time he did it he was 59

years old. When asked how he did it, he gave the best advice

I’ve ever heard. He said, “I’ve learned to talk to myself instead

of listen to myself.” He memorized scripture and would recite it

to himself when he needed a boost. Gills continued, “If I listen

to myself, I hear all the reasons why I should give up. I hear that

I’m too tired, too old, too weak to make it. But if I talk to myself,

I can give myself the encouragement and words I need to hear

to keep running and finish the race.” It’s the same way with life.

Too often we listen to ourselves and hear all the complaints,

self-doubt, fear, and negativity that lead to unhappiness, failure,

and unfulfilled goals. But just because you have a negative

thought doesn’t mean you have to believe it. Many of your

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negative thoughts come from fear and the truth is that fear is a

liar. I’ve learned that instead of listening to the negative lies, we

can choose to feed ourselves with the positive truth. We can

speak truth to the lies and fuel up with words, thoughts,

phrases, and beliefs that give us the strength and power to

overcome our challenges and create an extraordinary life,

career, and team. Whatever comes your way, just keep running,

stay positive, talk to yourself (instead of listening to yourself),

and make sure you celebrate and raise your hands in the air

when you’ve reached your destination!

It’s All How You See It

Another way we feed the positive dog is through our perspec­

tives and how we see the world. For example, while visiting

with and speaking to several major league baseball teams

during spring training, I kept hearing from players and coaches

that baseball is “a game of failure.” After all, even a Hall of Fame

player will fail to get a hit two out of three times. And most

players will fail to get a hit three out of four times. A pitcher will

give up hits and home runs; fielders will make errors. Yes,

baseball is a game where people fail often. But I saw it

differently and, when talking to the teams, I offered a different

perspective. I said, “I don’t believe baseball is a game of failure.

I believe it’s a game of opportunity!” No matter what happened

on the last play, pitch, or at bat, players get the opportunity to

make the next one great. In the words of Babe Ruth, “Every

strike brings me closer to the next home run.” It’s the same way

with life. Anyone pursuing anything worthwhile will fail and fail

often. I certainly have failed many times, but when I look back I

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realize I wasn’t failing, I was growing. I wasn’t failing, I was

becoming. I’ve learned that you can dwell on the past or look

forward to making the next opportunity great. You can see life

as a game of failure or opportunity. It’s all how you see it.

Tell Yourself a Positive Story

When tragic events like 9-11, the Oklahoma City bombing, or

the attacks on the Boston Marathon happen, we have a choice

in the narrative we tell after the event. Terrorists want us to tell

stories of fear, despair, and hopelessness. Yet New Yorkers,

Oklahomans, and Bostonians decided to tell themselves and

the world a very different narrative. They told stories of

strength, perseverance, and resolve—courage, faith, unity,

and love. This is significant because the stories you tell

yourself determine how you respond to adversity and how

you live your life. When Charlie Ebersol, a television producer,

survived a plane crash that killed his younger brother, one of

the first things his mother told him was, “You are allowed to be

sad but you can’t be mad, sad. You have to have a purpose and

turn this into something good.” Ebersol said that this perspec­

tive changed his life. He went on to sell his company, gave up

all the things he had been doing, and focused only on the

things he loved—which lead to him producing inspiring

television shows and documentaries. In television and life

people get knocked down. Those who see themselves as

victims stay down. But those who see themselves as heroes

get back up and, armed with optimism, courage, and faith,

they move forward and take action to create a brighter and

better future.

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The story we tell ourselves determines the life we live. In

one of my favorite books, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years,

author Donald Miller tells the story of a friend whose teenage

daughter was rebelling, doing drugs, and dating the wrong kind

of guy. The dad decided he needed to stop yelling at his

daughter and instead needed to create a different narrative

for her life. He held a family meeting where he shared that they

were going to raise money and build an orphanage in Mexico.

At first his family thought he had lost his mind but then they all

rallied behind the idea. His daughter even got excited about

going to Mexico and meeting the kids there and posting

pictures on her website. A few months later, when Miller

saw his friend again, he learned that everything had changed

for the better. His family was living a better story. His daughter

broke up with her boyfriend after he told her she was too fat.

The dad said, “No girl who plays the role of a hero in her story

dates a guy who uses her. She knows who she is. She just forgot

for a little while.”

Those who study filmmaking know that in every great

movie the main character wants to achieve something, but

must overcome adversity and conflict in order to get it. And

those who study life know it works the same way. Whether

you want to start a business, build a winning team, raise

great kids, provide safe drinking water in Africa, help the

homeless, find a cure for cancer, educate children, or create

a more peaceful world, adversity and conflict will be part of

your story as you strive to achieve your goal. But when

adversity hits, you can choose to tell yourself and the world

a positive story and work passionately to create a positive

outcome.

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Challenge or Opportunity

You can tell yourself a positive story by looking at the events

in your life as an opportunity instead of a challenge. There

was a British study of 500 charmed people who seemed to

have it all—wealth, relationships, great careers, and happi­

ness. When the researchers studied these charmed people,

they were surprised to find that every one of them had

experienced misfortune in their lives. On the outside, it

seemed like they had lived perfect lives, but every one of

them faced challenges, adversities, and hardships. Yet despite

the various challenges, they all shared the same characteristic.

They all turned their misfortune into fortune.9 In the midst of

their struggle, they looked for and found an opportunity. As a

leader you must remember that events are going to happen.

Challenges are going to come your way. Your job is not to get

stuck in the mud. Don’t sink to a lower level. Keep your head

up. Look for the opportunity and the good that is coming your

way.

The Gallup Organization did a study where they asked

people to name the best and worst event of their lives. They

found that there was an 80 percent correlation between the two

events. Somehow the worst event of our lives often leads to the

best, if we stay positive, stay the course, and keep moving

forward.

Shark or Goldfish

As a leader, your perspective is very important because how

you see the world and events determines the world you see and

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how you respond. In my book The Shark and the Goldfish, I

share how the waves of change are always coming our way

and, when the wave hits, we have a choice. We can resist

change or we can ride the wave to a successful future. The

research shows that people and companies that thrived during

the great recession were the ones who embraced the change.

Instead of being like goldfish and waiting to be fed like in the

good ole days, they embraced the change and looked for

opportunities to find more food. The key factor in their success

was their perspective, how they saw the change they were

experiencing. Those who saw it as a bad thing and resisted it

got crushed by the wave. Those who saw it as a good thing and

an opportunity rode the wave to a better future. I recently

spoke about thriving through change to all the leaders of a

company that owns a lot of local news stations. There was a lot

of fear and resistance to the change happening and how people

are and will consume local news in the future. The leaders now

understand that change is coming their way, like it or not, and

if they embrace the change and find new business models

they will thrive because of it. They are now sharks and ready

to take on the waves of change and experience the ocean of

possibility.

Think Like a Rookie

Over the years I’ve spoken to a lot of organizations and

leaders that have been infected by what I call the curse of

experience. This is where they long for the good ole days,

complain about the way things are, and are unwilling to

change. They have allowed their past experience, good or

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bad, to affect their present and future. I saw this a lot in real

estate companies during the great recession when I was

brought in to reenergize them and boost morale. Before my

talk, companies often gave out awards to the best producers,

and I realized that a lot of rookies were winning the awards.

It hit me that many of the veterans with all their great

experience were so shaken up by the economy that they

had become goldfish instead of sharks. They had allowed

fear to paralyze them and circumstances to define them.

They were complaining about the economy instead of

creating it. They had the curse of experience and the antidote

was to get them to think like rookies again. Rookies aren’t

tainted by rejection, negative assumptions, or past experi­

ences. They bring an idealism, optimism, and passion to their

work. They don’t focus on what everyone says is impossible.

Instead, with wide eyes they believe anything is possible.

Rookies put their heads down, work hard, stay positive,

live fearlessly, and are naïve enough to be successful.

Rookies don’t have experience. They don’t know about

the way things were. They have no knowledge of the

good ole days. Instead, rookies create their good ole days

right now. Regardless of how much experience you and your

fellow leaders have, I want to encourage you to let your

experience be a blessing, not a curse. Let your experience

provide you with expertise and let your rookie mindset fuel

you with optimism and passion. Mentor the rookies because,

for all their effort and energy, they do make mistakes. And

yet, let them teach you how to see the world through their

eyes. Think like a rookie, forget the past, and create your

good ole days right now.

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Defeating Murphy

I’m sure you have heard of Murphy’s Law, right? Whatever can go

wrong will go wrong—and usually at the worst possible time.

Unfortunately, Murphy’s Law seems to play out all too often and,

when a series of bad things happens, it can lead you to expect

more bad things to happen. Instead of hoping for the best, you

start to expect the worst and act accordingly. Football coach Gus

Bradley, one of the most positive leaders I’ve ever met, told me

about a great way he helps his team deal with negative events

(e.g., a crucial interception, penalty, injury, bad weather, etc.)

and avoid the victim mindset that can accompany them. Gus tells

his team about this fictional guy named Murphy, whom the law is

named after. Murphy is a big jerk who wants to ruin their practice,

games, and season. He says that Murphy often shows up at the

worst possible time. But instead of being scared of Murphy when

he shows up they are going to tackle him. They expect to see

Murphy, and when they do they have an even greater expect­

ation that they will defeat him. Life is filled with challenging

circumstances, but you can rise above them. Life is hard, but you

are strong. The struggle is real, but so is your ability to overcome

it. As my friend Erwin McManus said, “Greatness is never born

from easy circumstances. We can become stronger when the

world becomes harder.” So when adversity hits, don’t run from it.

Don’t be scared of it. Face it. Take it on and keep moving

forward. Murphy is tough, but you are tougher.

Inside Out

A big part of leadership and moving your team forward through

challenges and change is to understand that we don’t create our

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world and success outside in. We create it inside out. This

means that your circumstances and the events that happen

outside you in the world are not meant to define you. You are

meant to define your circumstances. The power is not in the

circumstance. It’s in your state of mind and the love, passion,

soul, purpose, and perspective that you lead and create with.

Let’s take traffic, for example. One day traffic really bothers

you. Another day you are listening to a great song or podcast,

you’re in a great mood, and the traffic doesn’t bother you. Is it

the circumstance (traffic) or your state of mind that is producing

how you feel? If it was the circumstance, your response would

be the same, 100 percent of the time. Remember that it’s never

about the circumstance. It’s not the challenge, change, econ­

omy, election, adversity, or setback you are facing. It’s always

your state of mind and your thinking that produces how you

feel and respond. When you see that the world has no power

over you, you will lead more powerfully in the world.

Distort Reality

You will also lead more powerfully when you realize that you

have the power to distort reality. We often think that reality is

objective, but when you understand how positive leaders have

changed the world throughout history, it becomes clear that a

leader can define reality and distort it in a positive way. Before

there was an iPhone, iPad, iCloud, or Apple Watch, there was

Steve Jobs, a man with vision, positive ideas, and a reality-

distortion field. In Walter Isaacson’s biography Steve Jobs, he

describes how Jobs repeatedly convinced Apple employees

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that they could meet a project deadline that everyone thought

was impossible. Time and time again they would tell Steve he

was being unrealistic and there was no way they could create

software or hardware in the amount of time he was expecting.

Jobs’s team said he distorted their reality from pessimism (or

some would say from realism) to optimism and, time and time

again, they accomplished what they had thought was

impossible. His belief was contagious and, as a result, Apple

became one of the greatest companies on earth. What could

your team achieve if you shared your optimism and belief with

them and distorted their reality?

Leadership Is a Transfer of Belief

You may have thought that reality is the result of your circum­

stances, but it’s really a result of your thoughts and beliefs. As

we have discussed, how you see the world determines the

world you see and experience. Leadership is a transfer of belief.

What you believe is possible, and the beliefs you share with

your team and organization have a big influence on what you

create, build, and accomplish. Pete Carroll, the head coach of

the Seattle Seahawks, is well known for his positive leadership

style. Carroll said, “The world trains people to be pessimistic.

One of the most important things I must do here is make sure

my players and staff believe that tomorrow will be better than

today.” In essence, Pete is saying that he must transfer his belief

and optimism to his team. He must remind his players of the

power that exists inside them to create the world outside them.

He must help his players be optimistic and hopefully in a

pessimistic negative and fearful world.

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I saw the same attitude and leadership in Silicon Valley

during the great recession. While the rest of the country was

going through the downturn, the people who lead and work for

the companies in Silicon Valley refused to participate in the

recession. They were too busy trying to change the world. They

were surrounded by a bubble of optimism. While companies

and businesses around the country were fearfully closing their

doors and people were losing their jobs and homes, Mark

Zuckerberg was attracting millions of friends on Facebook. Jack

Dorsey was building and growing Twitter one tweet and

140 characters at a time. Elon Musk was launching the world’s

first electric sports car and rockets into outer space with Tesla

and SpaceX. Larry Page and Sergey Brin were transforming

Google from a search engine into a verb and a ubiquitous part

of our lives. And hundreds of other innovators and start-ups

were changing the way we communicate, connect, learn, read,

search, interact, live, and work.

In Silicon Valley there is a bubble of optimism that is filled

with a collective belief that anything is possible. If you have a

great idea, it gets funded. If you are willing to innovate and

work hard, the American Dream is very much alive and

available to you. If you believe and you can execute and

turn this belief into a reality, you can change the world. The

innovators of Silicon Valley are alchemists who turn ideas into

gold. Where others see what is impossible, they see what is

possible. While others see them as crazy, they see the future.

When a new idea or product fails, they come up with a better

idea and a better business. Failure is accepted as a part of

innovation and growth. Ideas are tested and the best ones win.

Silicon Valley embodies the can-do spirit, creativity, drive, and

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courage that positive leaders embrace to create innovations

that change the world. But you don’t have to live in the

valley to embrace their approach. Amazon and Starbucks

have transferred that spirit of belief to Seattle. Zappos has

found happiness in Las Vegas. GM, Ford, and the big auto

companies are powering forward with new ideas and making

world-class cars in Detroit. And thousands of start-ups located

in cities and universities around the planet are dreaming of

ways to change the world. Every business and leader, wherever

they are located, can create a bubble of optimism and transfer

their belief to their team, tribe, organization, community, city,

and following. There is always a new idea or a better way of

doing something waiting for someone to implement it. It can be

you!

Lead with Faith Instead of Fear

Ultimately, being a positive leader is all about leading with faith

in a world filled with cynicism, negativity, and fear. The

ultimate battle we face every day is the battle between faith

and fear. As a leader you must realize that your people are

facing this battle daily. They are filled with fear, doubt, and

uncertainty, and it’s your job to inspire them with faith. Leading

with optimism, positivity, and belief comes down to leading

with faith instead of fear. In the beginning of this book, I shared

how positive leaders are the ones who change the world. I

shared how the future belongs to those who believe in it and

have the belief, resilience, positivity, and optimism to over­

come all the challenges in order to create it. But we know that

positive leaders don’t do it alone. They do it with others, with

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the team they build and the people they inspire, encourage,

and lead with faith on the journey.

A few years after Alan Mulally became the CEO of Ford, the

economy went into a tailspin, the great recession hit, and they

faced the worst economic climate since the Great Depression.

There were many moments where it looked like all the work

Mulally, his team, and employees had done to restructure the

company, build a united leadership team, create best-of-class

automobiles, and become profitable was for naught. At the

bottom of the recession when things looked the most bleak

the government bailed out Ford’s competitors and the rules of

the game seemed to change. Mulally told his team, “You have to

expect the unexpected and you have to deal with it. Whining is

not a plan. Wallowing is not a plan. We have a plan, and if we

need to adjust it, we will.” Despite his team members’ fears,

Mulally remained steadfast in his belief in his plan, in his team,

and in Ford’s future. Where others might have waffled and

crumbled from fear, Mulally was an optimist who continued

to share his belief with his team and company. When the

economy finally turned around, his optimism, faith, and plan

produced exponential growth and profits for Ford. Without his

leadership, this wouldn’t have happened.

Be an Over-Believer

Dabo Swinney was asked recently if he considered himself an

overachiever for all the success he has generated at Clemson.

He responded, “I’m not an overachiever. I’m an over-believer.”

When Dabo became the head coach of Clemson, he put a

sign in the team meeting room that said “Believe” because he

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knew there wasn’t a lot of belief—either inside or outside the

program—that they could be great. Clemson was known for

losing games they should win. It happened to them so often,

people called it “Clemsoning.” So the man who had never been

a head coach or coordinator, whose father left when he was

young, who was homeless for a time growing up, who had left

coaching for a few years to pursue a career in real estate, who

had believed in himself enough to become a walk-on at

Alabama and had come to believe that anything was possible

knew his number-one priority was to inspire his team to

believe—and he did. Dabo is so full of genuine belief

and faith that he shares it with everyone around him. He

believes in his players more than they believe in themselves.

He believes in them so much that their belief in themselves

rises. Most of all I’ve noticed that, regardless of the circum­

stance, no matter the challenge, whatever the setback, he never

stops believing and sharing his belief with his team. On January

9, 2017, I was in the locker room with the team at halftime of the

National Championship game. Clemson was trailing 14–7.

Dabo told his team, “Somehow, someway, we are going

to win this game, guys. I don’t know how, but we are going

to win.” The guys may have been fearful but Dabo instilled

them with faith. It was something he had done every day since

2008. With every setback and failure over the years, Dabo

would say, “God doesn’t say oops. God doesn’t make mistakes.

There is a bigger plan. Trust in it.” Dabo told me he was

constantly inspired by Galatians 6:9, “Let us not become weary

in doing good for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we

do not give up.” He led with faith and his team acted with

fearlessness and reaped a harvest at the proper time.

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Don’t Stop Believing

Great teams are collectively positive. They have a collective

belief and contagious optimism—and it starts with you. When

you believe, you can inspire others to believe. When you have

faith, you can inspire others with it. You will face a lot of

adversity, resistance, and negativity, but always remember that

your certainty, optimism, belief, and faith must be greater than

all the negativity, fear, and doubt. Share your optimism, belief,

and faith with your team. Show them the way forward. Point

them toward your North Star. Explain where you are going and

why you are going there. Talk about the challenges but explain

why you can overcome them. Transfer your belief to them.

Feed them with positivity. Speak life into them. Believe in them

when they don’t believe in themselves. Lift them up when they

are down. Inspire them to do more, give more, and become

more than they ever thought possible. Tell them that fear and

faith have one thing in common. They both believe in a future

that hasn’t happened yet. Fear believes in a negative future.

Faith believes in a positive future. If neither has happened yet,

why wouldn’t we choose to believe in a positive future? Why

wouldn’t we choose to believe our best days are ahead of us,

not behind us. Tell your team that if you believe your best days

are behind you, they are. If you believe your best days are

ahead of you, they are. What we believe matters, so let’s

believe, work hard, and make it happen.

Even after Clemson won the National Championship, Dabo

told the team in the locker room, “You are National Champions

now, but I want you to be champions in life too. Be

great husbands and fathers. This won’t be the best thing to

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happen in your life. God has even more in store for you. The

best is yet to come.” They had just reached the peak of success

as a team and Dabo was talking about their future as men. In

essence, he was saying whether you win or lose, don’t stop

believing. That’s leadership.

Your Leadership Journey

I don’t know where you are on your leadership journey. I know

that I wasn’t always positive and I’ve become a more positive

leader over the years. Perhaps you are already very optimistic

and positive. Or maybe you’ve been a pessimist or someone

who says, “I’m just being realistic.” Hopefully you understand

that leadership is not just about what you do but what you can

inspire, encourage, and empower others to do. Regardless of

your circumstances and challenges, there is a future waiting to

be created and, with your leadership, optimism, belief, and

faith, your team and organization will be the one to create it. On

your leadership journey, it will take all your optimism, belief,

and positivity to help others become all that they are meant to

be. It will also require your ability to develop relationships with

them, which we will discuss later in the book. But if you start

the process by building a positive culture, sharing the vision,

feeding yourself with positivity, creating your own reality-

distortion field, and leading with optimism, you and your

team will be well on your way to creating a positive future.

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Chapter 6

Positive Leaders Confront,

Transform, and Remove

Negativity

Being positive won’t guarantee you’ll succeed but being

negative will guarantee you won’t.

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P ositive leadership is not just about feeding the positive,but also about weeding out the negative. As a leader you must recognize that negativity exists and you can’t ignore it.

One of the biggest mistakes leaders make is that they ignore the

negativity within their team and organization. They allow it to

breed and grow, and it eventually sabotages the team and

organization. You must address the negativity. Confront it,

transform it, or remove it.

I remember getting a call in 2007, shortly after The Energy

Bus was published, from Jack Del Rio, who was the head coach

of the Jacksonville Jaguars at the time. A friend had given him

the book; he read it, and called to ask if I would meet with him.

Keep in mind that I had just written the book. It wasn’t in U.S.

bookstores yet, although it was big in South Korea. I had never

worked with a sports team before, never mind a professional

sports team, and never spoken to a leader of his stature before.

Now, as I sat across from him he told me that he was allowing

energy vampires to get to him and the book helped him realize

that he needed to deal with the negativity. It also reminded

him to be more positive than the negativity he was facing. He

asked me to speak to the team, and for some reason I boldly

said I would if he gave the players a copy of the book. He agreed,

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and as I drove home it was confirmation that everyone, even

legendary football players, great coaches, and world-class

leaders deal with the same negativity that we all need to

overcome. Thankfully, I had written something that would

help them. Looking back, I believe the reason why The Energy

Bus has been read by so many leaders and teams is because it

addresses the negativity every team, organization, and leader

will face. It was a lesson I had learned in my own life before I

wrote the book.

Your Positivity Must Be Greater than

All the Negativity

I remember telling my dad that I was going to be a writer and

speaker, that I had found my calling. His response was, “What

the heck do you want to do that for? That won’t amount to

anything. That’s a load of junk. Just focus on your restaurants.”

He used other words I can’t print. At the time, I still owned a few

restaurant franchises and my father thought I should just focus

on that. A restaurant was practical. Writing and speaking was

just a fantasy. A few years after my dad gave me his “encour­

aging” advice, I appeared on the Today Show. The episode was

called “Get Energized Today.” It was my first time on national

television and I was terrified. I coached several people on the

show about having more energy and optimism for their life and

work and, as I walked out of the studio, my dad called me on

the phone. He said, “Your mother and I just saw you on

television. You really made a difference. We are so proud of

you. We always knew you could do it.” I knew my dad didn’t

remember being negative in the past and I realized in that

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moment that every one of us will deal with negativity and

naysayers on our journey. Not everyone will have the same

vision as you. Not everyone will believe in your dreams. Not

everyone will get on your bus. But to succeed, your positive

energy must be greater than all the negativity.

Gandhi said, “I will not let anyone walk through my mind

with their dirty feet,” and neither should you. You may have a

negative team. You may have negative customers, patients,

neighbors, or parents. The first rule of thumb when weeding

the negative is to not let it bring you down. Be more positive

than the negativity you face. Don’t be afraid of it. Negativity is

like a barking dog. It seems powerful, but when you look right

in its eyes, it runs away. Negativity is no match for your courage

and positivity. I know because I’ve worked with many positive

leaders and watched how they have confronted, transformed,

and removed the negativity and achieved amazing results.

No Energy Vampires Allowed

In 2011 Mark Richt, the head football coach of the University of

Georgia at the time, had his team read The Energy Bus and

invited me to speak to the team. I spoke before the season and,

unfortunately, they lost their first two games. Georgia had been

underperforming during the previous few seasons and the

media was reporting that Richt was on the hot seat and would

lose his job if this season didn’t go well. I texted him after the

second loss and said “I am sorry I didn’t help more. I believe in

this team. I believe you all are going to turn it around.” Richt

texted me back and said, “Jon, the guys are still on the bus. In

years past we’ve allowed energy vampires to ruin this team but

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not this year. This year we won’t allow it.” In the team meeting

room, Richt had an artist draw a large picture of an energy

vampire on the wall facing the seats where the players sit. If a

player or coach acted like an energy vampire, the team took his

picture from the media guide and put it on the wall. No one

wanted to be on the wall. It was a message from Richt to his

team that they would stay positive through their adversity and

challenges. It worked, and the team went on to win the next 10

games in a row and made it to the SEC Championship.

Why Wait?

I shared this story with the University of Tennessee football

team a few years after working with UGA and, when I was

finished speaking, coach Butch Jones told the team the meeting

was over but then called out the names of 10 guys and told

them to stay. I asked Butch who these guys were and he said,

“Oh, these are our energy vampires.” I said, “Oh, you are going

to deal with that now?” He said, “Yes. Why wait?” After the

meeting, Butch walked out of the room and into the hallway

where I was speaking to the athletic director. I asked him how it

went. He said, “Powerful. Most of the guys admitted they were

being energy vampires and have committed to being a positive

influence on our team. They are going to be difference makers

for us this season. But a few of the guys don’t get it, won’t

change, and we will have to let them off the bus.” Tennessee

overcame a lot of adversity that season and made their first

bowl game in years. They were a great example how a team

that stays positive together wins together. I’ll never forget

Butch’s words: “Why wait?” To build a winning team you

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must create a positive culture where negativity can’t breed and

grow, and the sooner you start confronting, transforming,

weeding, and removing it from your team, the stronger and

more positively contagious your culture and team will be.

The First Step Is to Transform

The first step in dealing with an energy vampire on your team is

not to remove but to transform. No one really wants to be an

energy vampire. These people are likely negative for a reason.

The first steps should always be to listen with empathy and love,

and try to understand and transform. For example, Martin, a

leader with the company Seventh Generation, told me that he

put a sign on his door that said Energy vampires welcome. Expect

to be transformed. He had a lot of great conversations and was

able to transform a lot of negative energy into positive results.

Richt also had a number of his players come to his office

and tell him they weren’t going to be energy vampires any­

more. Several of the players from that team are thriving in the

NFL. Several have become successful businessmen and it’s

rewarding to hear how the experience was a defining moment

for a bunch of them. Mark didn’t just kick them off the bus. He

confronted the negativity, invited them onto the bus, sought to

transform them—and it worked.

Start at the Culture Level

I have found that the best way to deal with energy vampires in

your organization is at the culture level, where you set the

expectation that people who drain the energy of others will not

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be tolerated. You talk about the negative impact of negativity.

You explain that one person can’t make a team but one person

can break a team. You talk about what a great culture looks like

and how you want everyone to be a positive contributor to it.

You make it clear what a great team looks like, and it doesn’t

look like a bunch of energy vampires. By putting the energy

vampires’ pictures on the wall, Richt was in essence telling his

team, “We will not allow negativity to sabotage our team and

goals.” Shawn Eichhorst did the same thing by putting a “No

energy vampires allowed” sign above his office door when he

became the new athletic director at Nebraska. He wasn’t

shunning people, but rather letting them know he was building

a positive culture and wouldn’t allow negativity to sabotage

their university and athletic programs. He faced a barrage of

negativity in his early years but slowly and steadily built his

culture with a positive, principles-based approach and trans­

formed many hearts and minds along the way. I’ve worked with

Eichhorst and Nebraska Athletics for five years and have

witnessed the effectiveness of his approach. I’ve also heard

from a number of school principles and business leaders who

have addressed negativity at the culture level as well. While

they didn’t utilize Richt’s strategy of putting energy vampires’

pictures on the wall (I think they made the right choice, by the

way), they made it clear in staff meetings, book discussions,

and viewings of some of our videos, that negativity drains others

and sabotages team performance. It is not acceptable. This works

wonders for most people in an organization. When you feed the

positive and create a culture where energy vampires are

uncomfortable being negative, they will either change or walk

off the bus themselves. Whether they stay and become positive

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or leave and stay negative, you will have improved your culture

and moved your team in the right direction.

Remove the Negativity

But what if the energy vampires don’t leave? What if they remain

energy vampires and stay on the bus? I see this all the time. Not

everyone is willing to change. No matter how much you try to

help someone transform and grow there will be some who are

negative no matter what you do. I heard from a school principal

who invited all of her staff on the Energy Bus. She shared her

vision for the road ahead and asked who was all in. All but two

teachers bought in. She did everything she could to get those two

teachers to be positive contributors. She documented and docu­

mented and documented, which you have to do for legal and

personnel reasons, and eventually she had to let them off the bus.

She told me that now they are on another bus somewhere else

and her staff is feeling more positive and energized than ever.

Two negative teachers were infecting their culture and mission to

impact the lives of children. But since they were removed, the

culture, morale, and energy has improved dramatically. If trans­

forming the negativity doesn’t work, you must remove it. Your

job as a leader is to create an environment where your people

can do their best work without being affected by an energy

vampire. You have to feed and weed, weed and feed.

Sooner or Later

I’m often asked how soon an energy vampire should be

removed. How soon is too soon or how late is too late? I can’t

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give you a definitive answer. Every situation is different. When I

owned a few restaurants, I definitely kept a few energy vampires

on my team longer than I should have. I had one manager at a

store that wasn’t doing very well. Sales kept dropping and since it

was the location furthest from my home, I spent the least amount

of time there. I decided to sell that location to a friend and former

manager who lived in the area and wanted to open his own

place. I had a meeting with the negative manger to let him know

what was going on and to reassure him that I had found him

another job managing another franchise owned by the other

franchisee in town. I wanted to make sure he was taken care of.

I’ll never forget what he said to me. “You know, Jon, I think I’m

going to use this opportunity to get out of the restaurant business

because I hate this f—in’ job. I smile at the customers like you ask

me to, but I hate every single one of them.” I sure didn’t do a good

job of hiring a positive leader for that location and, looking

back, I knew he wasn’t a good manager, but I honestly have

trouble letting people go. If I could do it again I would have

let him go sooner. Yet, there were also times I kept people I

probably shouldn’t have and eventually helped them trans­

form. That’s why there’s no perfect answer here, but it’s

something you should continue to evaluate and think about

as you lead your team and organization and deal with energy

vampires.

One other note on this topic: Even if you let someone off

the bus, it doesn’t mean you have to let them out of your life. I

tell college coaches all the time that even if you have to remove

a player from the team, you should still try to invest in that player

to help him transform and turn his life around. You may have to

let people go for a variety of reasons, because they are hurting

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the team, but you can still find ways to invest in them and help

them grow.

Lead from Where You Are

One of the most frequent types of emails I receive come from

people who tell me they are emerging leaders in an organization

but, since they don’t have the power to hire and fire, they want to

know what they should do with the energy vampires they work

or interact with at work. I tell them the same thing I wrote in the

beginning of this chapter. The first rule is to be more positive than

the negativity you face. Become a positive force of positive

energy that demonstrates to others what real positivity in the

form of love, patience, kindness, and care looks like. Lead by

example and lead from where you are. Look at every energy

vampire as an opportunity to strengthen your positivity. I try to

do this with my teenagers and it has made me a much better

leader. We are all on a leadership journey and the first step in

becoming a better leader is becoming a better you. Learning to

stay positive when surrounded by negativity is a great training

ground and, as you develop your own positivity and ability to

deal with energy vampires, you will grow as a person and leader.

You may not be driving the big bus and deciding who is on it, but

you can make your bus great and let it serve as a model for other

leaders and people in the organization.

Implement the No Complaining Rule

I didn’t invent the rule. I discovered it while having lunch with

Dwight Cooper, a tall, thin, mild-mannered former basketball

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player and coach who had spent the last 15 years building and

growing a company he co-founded into one of the leading

nurse staffing companies in the world. Cooper’s company, PPR,

had been named one of Inc. magazine’s “Fastest-Growing

Companies” several times, but on the day we met, it had

been named one of the best companies to work for in the

country, and Cooper was sharing a few reasons why. Cooper

told me about the no complaining rule. He said he had read The

Energy Bus and realized that, while energy vampires can

sabotage your business and team, so can subtle negativity in

the form of complaining.

Cooper compared energy vampires to a kind of topical skin

cancer. They don’t hide. They stand right in front of you and

say, “Here I am.” As a result, you can easily and quickly remove

them. Far more dangerous is the kind of cancer that is subtle

and inside your body. It grows hidden beneath the surface,

sometimes slow, sometimes fast, but either way, if it’s not

caught, it eventually spreads to the point where it can and

will destroy the body. Complaining is this kind of cancer to an

organization, and Cooper had seen it ruin far too many good

companies. He was determined not to become another statistic,

and the no complaining rule was born.

The rule is simple: You are not allowed to complain unless

you also offer one or two possible solutions. Cooper said, “We

introduced the rule to everyone in the company and now

share it during interviews with people who want to join our

team. We let them know that if you are a complainer this isn’t

the right place for you. If you want to focus on solving

problems, then we would love to have you and will surely

listen to you.”

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I knew Cooper’s idea was brilliant. The no complaining rule

was a great way to weed out the energy vampires and turn

negative energy into positive solutions. I had to share it with

others, so I wrote a book called The No Complaining Rule to

spread the idea. I explained that the goal of the no complaining

rule is not to eliminate all complaining. It aims to stop the

mindless, chronic complaining that fosters negativity and

doesn’t help anyone. And the bigger goal is to turn justified

complaints into positive solutions. After all, every complaint

represents an opportunity to turn something negative into a

positive. We can utilize customer complaints to improve our

service. Employee complaints can serve as catalysts for inno­

vation and new processes. Our own complaints can serve as

signals that let us know what we don’t want so we can focus on

what we do want. And most importantly, we can use the no

complaining rule to develop a positive culture at work.

Does it work? You bet. In a commoditized market, Cooper’s

company is outperforming the competition by leaps and

bounds. Like Cooper, with one simple rule, you can prevent

the spread of toxic negative energy and empower your team to

improve, innovate, and grow. I’ve heard from hundreds of

companies, schools, and teams that have transformed their

culture and team dynamic with it. But it doesn’t happen without

positive leadership. As a leader, it starts with you. If you are

complaining, you’re not leading. If you are complaining, you

are not showing your team the way forward. Complaining

causes you and your team to focus on everything but being

your best. It causes you to be stuck where you are instead of

moving forward to where you want to be. In dysfunctional

negative cultures, leaders focus on the problems. In positive,

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high-performing cultures, leaders focus on solving problems.

Positive leaders show the way forward. They help their team

focus on solutions instead of complaints. When a team focuses

on solutions instead of complaints, performance rises to a

higher level.

Michael Phelps’s Positive Leadership

Michael Phelps was recently interviewed by Bob Costas and he

described his approach to building a positive team before the

2016 Olympics in Rio.

Every now and then you hear a bunch of negative

comments or someone complaining, and, during training

camp, at one of the meetings, I said to the guys that we are

getting ready to go to the Olympics. This is what we have to

do, and if there is a negative comment, keep it to yourself.

The more positivity we have as a team, the better off we are

going to be. As soon as I said that, we all became closer and

then we really started getting going.

When I heard Phelps say these words, I was thrilled

because, in just a few sentences, he defined the essence of

positive leadership and shared with the world a truth that I have

witnessed countless times over the years. A team with talent can

be good, but they must come together to be great. Positivity is

the glue that enhances team connection and performance, and

it impacts office teams, school teams, church teams, and

hospital teams as much as it does Olympic teams. Many people

think that you have to choose between positivity and winning,

but the truth is you don’t have to choose. Positivity leads to

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winning. That’s why feeding the positive and weeding out the

negative is essential.

I’ve seen very positive teams with average talent accom­

plish more than anyone thought possible. I’ve also seen nega­

tive teams with a lot of talent accomplish far less than everyone

thought was possible. Positive teams work together more

effectively. They stay positive, connected, and committed

through challenges. They maximize each other’s talent. They

believe together and achieve more together. Positive, high-

performing teams don’t happen by accident. They are built by

positive leaders and team members who weed the negative and

feed the positive. When you subtract negativity and add posi­

tivity to your talent, the sky is the limit. The great news is that

you don’t have to be an Olympic champion with 28 medals to

begin the process. You can be just like you and me. You can

say, “Enough with the negativity. Let’s get positive. Let’s get

going.”

Don’t Be Negative about Negativity

I would be remiss if I didn’t share one final thought about

weeding negativity from your team and organization. I must

address a misunderstanding that I hear about from time to time

and it’s one of my motivations in writing this book. Some

leaders read The Energy Bus and make the mistake of con­

fronting their employees by saying, “You are either on my bus

or you are off it.” They label anyone who disagrees with them

an energy vampire. Instead of inviting people onto the bus,

they run them over with it. One of the saddest kinds of emails I

receive says something like, “Hey Jon, our bosses gave us The

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Energy Bus to read, but they are the ones who are energy

vampires. I’m trying to be positive but what should I do?” It

saddens me to read these emails because it was never my

intention for leaders to be negative about negativity. You have

to confront it, but you must do so in a positive way. Even more

importantly, you must model it. As we will discuss in the next

two chapters, positive leadership is also about developing

relationships and being the kind of a leader people want to

follow. You can’t be an energy vampire and be a great leader.

You can’t be negative and build a positive, high-performing

team. You may be dealing with a lot of negativity but you can’t

lift others up if you lower yourself. You can’t help others be

positive by being negative. You’re the leader, and to be your

best and bring out the best in others, you must be a positive

leader.

When you feed the positive and weed the negative, you

create an environment where you can do your best work as a

leader. You can do what the truly great leaders do, and that’s

build unified and connected teams and great relationships.

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Chapter 7

Positive Leaders Create United and Connected

Teams

It’s the leader’s ability to unite and connect people

that truly creates great teams and organizations.

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P ositive leaders unite instead of divide. They are able to geteveryone on the bus and moving in the right direction. They are able to create unity, which is the difference between a

great team and an average team. The more united and con­

nected a team and organization is, the more they are able to

accomplish together. A vision and North Star are important to

point people in the right direction, but it’s the leader’s ability

to unite and connect people that truly creates great teams and

organizations. When Alan Mulally took over as the CEO of Ford,

he learned that they were regionalized and acted like they were

a number of different companies instead of one company.

Mulally created a One Ford plan to unite everyone in the

company and come together as one team working on one

plan to achieve one goal. He created an entire plan and

management system designed to have everyone work together

as one united and connected team. He held meetings every

Thursday at 7AM, where every leader from every division in

the company would come together, review the business

plan (he called it a BPR—Business Plan Review meeting),

and work together to achieve it. He fostered trust, generated

transparency and honesty, simplified the business model,

brought clarity to their mission and purpose, and, through

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what many people say is one of the most inspiring and amazing

displays of leadership in history, he transformed Ford into one

team that accomplished what many of the naysayers and critics

thought was impossible. Mulally proved that over time the

naysayers are proven wrong and a positive leader who unites

others and creates a connected team that works together is

proven right.

Connection Is the Difference

The more I have worked with teams and organizations over the

years, the more I realize that connection is the key to becoming

a great organization. Just as Alan Mulally created One Ford by

connecting everyone in the company, a leader must work to

create a connected team. It starts at the top. A team and

organization that’s not connected at the top crumbles at the

bottom. Therefore, first and foremost, it’s important for the

leadership team to be connected. I’ve worked with far too

many sports teams and organizations where the leadership

teams are not connected. I can literally predict the success of a

sports team based on how connected the owner, general

manager, and head coach are. I can tell how well a business

will weather their challenges and grow by how unified and

connected the leaders are. I recently spoke at a meeting where

two companies were merging together and leaders from both

companies were now becoming one management group. We

talked a lot about connecting and did some connection exer­

cises, and you could see and feel the energetic walls break

down. Everyone who left the meeting felt that they would be

much stronger going forward. Instead of two teams, they were

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now one team. I knew they were on their way to success

because unity and connection are the difference. I once sat in

on a morning meeting of the leaders at Mercy Hospital in St.

Louis. They were one of the most connected leadership teams

I’ve ever witnessed. It was so powerful you could feel the

connection. I was blown away. It was no surprise that their

hospital was performing at a very high level.

As a leader, you not only want to be part of a connected

leadership team but you also want to make sure you are

connecting with everyone in your organization. A lack of

connection between leaders and their team leads to a lack

of commitment, below-average teamwork, and sub-par per­

formance and results. You can be the smartest person in the

room but if you fail to connect with others you will fail as a

leader. When you make time to connect with your team and

create unity by bringing people together, performance will rise

to create a united and connected organization. It’s also essen­

tial as a leader to enhance the connection between the people

on the team and in the organization. As a positive leader, you

must be a unifier and connector who fosters relationships

between others. One of the biggest complaints I receive

from college and pro coaches is that their teams aren’t con­

nected. They have a bunch of young men or women who

usually focus on themselves, their personal goals, their social

media followings, and their egos. They usually have family and

friends telling them they should be playing more, scoring more,

or getting more recognition. The message they receive from the

world is that it’s all about the individual, not the team. It’s about

me, not we. Unfortunately, this may sound like your office and

organization as well. There are a lot of silos, personal agendas,

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and office politics in the business world. This is also very

common in schools, where teachers will say they just care

about their classroom and couldn’t care less about what’s

happening in the rest of the building. The disease of me infects

everyone, not just college athletes. Narcissism and self-focus

creates a disconnect between personal goals and team goals,

and it undermines the team. People who put themselves and

their projects before the team don’t build great organizations.

People who focus more on their fiefdoms instead of on the

kingdom are the ones who blame others when the castle falls.

Through my work with coaches and teams, I have found that

when coaches and players focus on becoming a connected

team, the me dissolves into we. The individual silos come

crumbling down, bonds are strengthened, relationships are

developed, and the team becomes much more connected,

committed, and stronger. As a leader, you can’t allow people

to stay isolated. You can’t allow the disease of me to infect your

organization. In my work with schools, I find that many

teachers only care about their own classrooms and not about

the entire school because the leader hasn’t done a great job of

connecting the staff and has failed to create a unified school. It’s

important to create unity and wholeness. It needs to be a

priority and it doesn’t happen without intentionality and action.

While visiting an NBA team a few years ago, I watched their

game the night before I was speaking to the coaching staff.

While meeting with the coaching staff, they asked me what I

saw. I told them I could tell there was a disconnect between

some of the players. They couldn’t believe it. They thought one

of the coaches had told me what was happening behind the

scenes but I didn’t need anyone to tell me. When you work with

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enough teams and organizations you can tell who is connected

and who isn’t. You know when you see it and you know when

you don’t. When I don’t see solid connections, I try to help

nurture them. One of my favorite exercises to help team

members become more connected is to have each person

share a defining moment in their life. When you learn some­

one’s defining moment, you get to know them a whole lot

better and develop a stronger connection with them. My other

favorite exercise is to have each person on the team share their

hero, hardship, and highlight.

Team Beats Talent When Talent Isn’t a Team

One of the reasons why being united is so important is because

the more connected you are, the more committed you become.

You won’t have commitment without connection. Team con­

nection makes a difference. Before the 2013–14 college bas­

ketball season, I received a call from Billy Donovan, who at the

time was the University of Florida basketball coach. (Now he is

the head coach of the Oklahoma City Thunder.) Billy shared

the challenges his team was facing and asked for my advice. I

shared a few of my ideas with him and he immediately zoomed

in on the concept of connection. He said, “That’s it, Jon. We

often get to the Elite Eight but have trouble pushing through to

the Final Four because we aren’t as connected as we need to

be. If we are more connected, we will have a better chance of

winning the tight, big games.” Billy and I kept in touch during

the season and I was blown away by all he did to connect with

his players and foster relationships between them. I never saw

a coach do more to invest in a team than what Billy did that

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season. The walls came crumbling down and, instead of a group

of individuals, the Florida team became a connected family. They

pushed through the Elite Eight to the Final Four and beat a very

talented Kentucky team three times that season. Despite the fact

that not one person on their team was drafted into the NBA,

Florida was able to beat teams with more talent because they

were more connected. They are a great example that team beats

talent when talent isn’t a team. You may not have the most

talented people on your team, but if you are a connected team,

you will outperform many talented teams who lack a close bond.

When a leader and team connect with each other, commitment,

teamwork, chemistry, and performance improve dramatically.

Since that time I’ve worked with a number of coaches to help

them build connected teams and I’ve witnessed the power of

connection and unity. Erik Spoelstra, the coach of the Miami

Heat, told me he used to spend a majority of his time studying

film in the off season. Now he spends more time building

connections and team unity than he does watching film. I spoke

to his team about the importance of being connected and, over

the course of the season, you could see the way they grew to play

for each other rather than themselves. It doesn’t happen by

accident. Erik is an incredible leader and he and his staff are very

intentional in finding ways, such as a mandatory Super Bowl

viewing party, meaningful team conversations, and intense

player development, to consistently connect individually and

collectively. Even a coach that has won 1,000 games, Tara

VanDerveer, the women’s basketball coach at Stanford, is always

looking for ways help her team become more connected. We’ve

had great conversations one on one and with her team about

fostering connections, and I have loved watching a great leader

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like her find new ways to connect with her team and help them

connect with each other.

Dabo Swinney’s Safe Seat

It’s not just Dabo Swinney’s vision and belief that helped

Clemson make it to back-to-back National Championship

games and win a title. While I was sitting in Dabo’s office in

early August, he told me about a chair his friend found and

brought him from a remote fishing village. He said it was one of

those fishing villages where guys sit around in a circle on these

stools and talk about life, family, fishing, and so on. It gave

Dabo an idea, and he called it the Safe Seat. He placed the stool

in the team meeting room and after each practice a different

teammate sat on the Safe Seat while the team gathered around

him in a circle. Dabo then asked the teammate questions about

his life, his heroes, his defining moment, and his challenges.

When Dabo was finished asking questions, the rest of the team

was free to ask questions. The stool was called the Safe Seat

because it was a safe place for each person to share his story

and heart with his team. It was a safe place to be vulnerable,

knowing that whatever was shared while sitting on the stool

would not leave the room. It was a safe spot in a safe room. As

each teammate took their turn in the Safe Seat, the players

began to know each other a whole lot better. The walls of ego,

pride, and selfishness came crumbling down as vulnerability

and authenticity paved the way for meaningful relationships,

trust, and strong bonds that helped create a connected and

committed team. Becoming a connected and committed team

helped make the vision and belief come to fruition.

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Collaborate and Facilitate

The old dictatorial style of leadership no longer works. Telling

people to do it “because I said so” doesn’t engage, connect,

and unite people. The great leaders of today lead by collabo­

rating and facilitating. Alan Mulally didn’t just talk about One

Ford, he collaborated with his leaders and everyone in the

company to create it. He didn’t dominate discussions and

conversations during their weekly leadership BPR meetings,

but rather guided the conversations and facilitated the process

of discussing the issues, challenges, and initiatives that needed

to be addressed and implemented and then empowered the

other leaders in the room to identify solutions and collaborate

in solving them. Great leaders like Mulally don’t pretend to

know all the answers. They collaborate with others and

facilitate the process of finding and implementing the answers.

Positive leaders don’t succeed on their own. They succeed by

getting people to work together. This generates more connec­

tion, ownership, and buy-in.

It’s important to note that, as a leader, it’s not always easy to

facilitate and collaborate. You may see where you want to go

and become frustrated at first that people don’t see the vision

and aren’t buying in. This could lead to you running ahead with

or without your people, hoping they will catch up. But if you

don’t take your team with you, you’ll be ahead of the pack all by

yourself. At that point you are just a runner, not a leader,

because a leader runs and walks WITH their team.

When I recently visited Penn State to speak to all the

athletes and coaches, I sat down with the athletic director,

Sandy Barbour, and learned that, to her, the call that “We are

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Penn State” is not just a slogan, but also words she lives by as a

leader. The word we is very important to her and it’s why she’s

the perfect leader to guide her athletic program through all the

challenges of the past and the changing landscape of college

sports. Various coaches and leaders I met on campus told me

privately that “Sandy doesn’t talk at us, she walks with us. She

works with us. She is there for us. She collaborates with us.”

Like Alan Mulally, Barbour has a great idea where she wants to

go, but she knows that a great team will achieve much more by

working together than one person can by working alone.

Don’t Let Your Reptile Eat Your Positive Dog

If unity and connection are so essential, then I must address

why so many teams and organizations aren’t more united and

why more leaders don’t create unity and connection. I’m

convinced that besides selfishness, the enemies are busyness

and stress. The research shows when we are busy and stressed,

we activate the reptilian part of our brain, which is associated

with fear and survival.10 If you know anything about a reptile,

you know that they will never love you. Reptiles are incapable

of love because they are all about survival. They’re not inter­

ested in uniting and connecting with you unless they can eat

you. When we are busy and stressed, we activate our reptile

brains and are simply about survival. We are not thinking about

uniting our teams and connecting with others. We are only

thinking of our own survival and how we can get through the

day. As a result, we focus on what is urgent rather than what

matters. We focus on our to-do list and how to survive rather

than on our people and ways to thrive. We don’t make the time

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to unite and connect. There’s actually a scientific term for this:

cortical inhibition. That is when the amygdala (reptile brain)

highjacks the neocortex, the part of the brain where you

rationalize, make decisions, pray, practice gratitude, and

love. I call the neocortex the positive dog part of the brain

because of the loving nature of dogs. When you are busy and

stressed, your reptile, in essence, eats your positive dog. This is

what happened to you anytime you said something you wished

you hadn’t said. Your reptile ate your positive dog and just

blurted out something mean that you would never say if you

were thinking clearly. It’s what happens to coaches when the

TV camera is on them and they are going crazy, yelling at a

referee. It’s what happens during road-rage incidents. And it’s

what happens when leaders fail to make time to connect with

and unite their teams. The good news is that the research shows

we have a quarter-second to override the reptile with our

positive dog. We don’t have to let the reptile win. We can

understand that the enemies are busyness and stress, and

recognize when our reptile is coming alive like Bruce Banner

does when the Hulk begins to emerge. We can take a deep

breath when we realize we are getting stressed and find

something to be thankful for in that moment. The research

shows you can’t be stressed and thankful at the same time. And

in each of these moments we can remember that our job as

leaders is to unite and connect, and not let the enemies conquer

and divide. We can slow down and be more intentional in

focusing on the relationships that truly build unity, connection,

and great teams. When you know unity is the key and busyness

and stress are the enemies, you will slow down and make the

time to develop and build great relationships. A united

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organization happens when you have great relationships. A

strong and united culture is created by strong relationships and

strong teams. It doesn’t happen right away. It requires a lot of

patience and a tremendous amount of effort to build unity

through great relationships and teamwork. It is created through

a lot of love, communication, encouragement, interpersonal

connection, commitment, serving, and caring, and it starts with

a leader who is someone people want to follow. So now let’s

talk about how to create unity by building great relationships

and teams.

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Chapter 8

Positive Leaders Build Great Relationships and Teams

Leadership comes down to taking care of the people in your

organization and making them the best they can be, not

giving up on them and never failing to be there for them.

Pete Carroll

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T he first step in uniting people and being a leader is notsaying, “Follow me.” It’s being someone your team wants to follow. You can have the greatest vision and mission

statement in the world and be optimistic and positive, but if

you are not someone people want to follow, they are not

getting on your bus. People follow the leader first and their

vision second. What you say is important, but who you are is

even more important. Leading is more than sharing a vision and

being optimistic. It’s more than talking and thinking. It’s also

about investing in relationships, bringing out the best in others,

coaching, encouraging, serving, caring, and being someone

that your team can trust. The two questions that the people you

lead are asking are, “Can I trust you?” and “Do you care about

me?” To be someone who people want to follow, you have to

be someone they can trust—someone who cares about the

people you lead. To unite others, you have to be someone

people want to rally around. To connect with others, you have

to be someone who creates connections.

Love Does

Leadership begins with love. Bob Goff, the author of Love Does,

says that love is not a noun. It’s a verb. It’s about leading with

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and sharing love. It’s about putting love into action. Bob wrote

a bestselling book and he has lived a life worth writing about.

Goff is the founder of Love Does, a nonprofit that fights the

injustices committed against children. Goff has spent years

working to rescue underage girls from the bondage of sexual

slavery. He has worked against forced prostitution in India by

arresting over 80 criminals and placing trafficked children in

temporary and permanent housing. He has frequently traveled

to Uganda, where he has risked his life bringing over 200

trials to court to relieve children of imprisonment. Goff and

Love Does also built a school, Restore Leadership Academy,

that serves over 250 children in the war-torn area of northern

Uganda. When people ask me to describe Goff, I say he’s a

combination of Indiana Jones and Jesus. He travels around the

world taking on witch doctors, criminals, and injustice while

being one of the most loving, positive leaders I’ve ever met.

When Goff is not spending time with his wife, whom he calls

“Sweet Maria,” he’s traveling to Uganda, saving children,

speaking to audiences, and answering calls on his cell phone

from complete strangers because he put his cell phone num­

ber in the back of his book. Yes, he actually put his cell phone

number in the book. I know because I called it to see if he

would answer. He did. Why did he put his number in the

book? It’s the same reason why he does everything: because

that’s what love does. Goff said most people usually call and

say, “Bob, is that really you?” And when he says yes, they say

they loved his book and thanks for answering and then hang

up. He said people just want to know that he’s for real. From

seeing Goff in action it’s clear that since they know his love

is real, they follow with passion and loyalty. It’s the same

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with you as a leader. Your people want to know if you are for

real. Show them you are by the way you love them.

Love Is the Greatest Leadership Principle

on the Planet

Goff and many of the positive leaders I have met demonstrate

that love is the greatest leadership principle on the planet. I was

recently speaking to a school district and met a principal whom

everyone loves and admires. She turned around her school from

being an at-risk school to a model school in her district. I asked

her the secret. She said, “I love my staff and students. Everything I

do is to make them better.” I was at a sales conference and met a

gentleman who was the top salesperson in the company. I asked

him his secret. He said, “I love my clients and they know it.” I was

visiting a professional sports team that the coach had trans­

formed from a perennial loser into a perennial winner. I asked

some of the players what the secret was. They said it was coach:

“He loves the game. He loves us. We are like a family.” Regard­

less of title or profession, to be human is to love and want to be

loved. We are who we are because someone loved us and our

team will be impacted by our love. Love is what separates good

and great. Good teachers know their lesson plans. Great teachers

know and love their students. Good coaches know X’s and O’s.

Great coaches know and love their players. Good salespeople

know how to sell. Great salespeople love their clients. Good

leaders know their vision and purpose. Great leaders also know

and love their people. If you want to build a great team, business,

family, school, or organization, love the people you lead and

work with.

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Rules without Relationship Lead to Rebellion

Andy Stanley once said, “Rules without relationship lead to

rebellion.” Far too many leaders share rules with the people

they lead but they don’t have a relationship with them. So

what happens? The people they lead disengage from the

mission and vision of the organization. I’ve had many leaders

tell me that when they focus less on rules and invest more in

their relationships they experience a dramatic increase in

performance, morale, and engagement. If you are in educa­

tion, research shows that when principals have a relationship

with their teachers, engagement rises; when students have a

relationship with their teachers, test scores go up.11 In sports,

players will play harder for their coaches when they know the

coaches love them. In business, if a client knows their

representative, agent, or salespeople care about them, they

will never leave and will refer everyone they know to them.

Success comes down to people and relationships and building

something together. When you love someone, you take the

time to invest in a relationship with them to help them

improve and grow. People can tell when you have an agenda,

so don’t have one. Just build great relationships and build

something great together.

Communication Builds Trust

If you love someone, you take the time to invest in a relation­

ship with them. To invest in a relationship with them, you must

communicate with them. Relationships are the foundation

upon which great teams and organizations are built, and

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communication serves as the initial foundation in building a

great relationship. Unfortunately, most relationships and teams

break down because of poor communication. In a world where

we have more ways to communicate, we are communicating

less meaningfully and our relationships, teamwork, and overall

engagement and performance are suffering. Communication

builds trust. Trust generates commitment. Commitment fosters

teamwork, and teamwork delivers great results. If you don’t

have communication, you don’t have the commitment and

trust you need to build a great team and create the future

together.

I was having dinner with Doc Rivers, the head coach of the

Los Angeles Clippers, and I asked Doc what was the most

important thing he does as a coach. He said, “I communicate to

my team. Not just collectively as a team but individually. I have

to know where each person is in order to lead them where I

need them to be. Since I communicate often with them, I know

who is struggling with a personal issue. I know who needs

encouragement. I know who needs to be challenged.” I then

asked Doc what he would like to improve upon as a coach. He

said, “I would like to improve my communication.” I was

blown away. Here was a coach who was considered by many

as the best communicator in sports and he wanted to get

even better. It demonstrates how important communication

is and how much every leader needs to focus on it. Many

leaders communicate collectively and communicate with

everyone at once, but I’m convinced we need to learn from

Doc and spend more time, energy, and effort communicating

one on one. Please know that I realize it’s not easy to con­

sistently have one-on-one communication with everyone in

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the organization. I realize you can’t meet with everyone all the

time, especially if you lead a large organization. The key is to

meet with your leadership team and the people you lead

directly, and then make sure they are communicating well

with the people they lead. If everyone does this throughout

the organization, relationships, teamwork, and performance

will improve. What does this look like? A principal of a school

would schedule two or three 10-minute meetings each day

with teachers and members of their staff. A hospital adminis­

trator could do the same with their doctors and nurses, or the

manager of a business could have a meeting with a few of her

direct reports each week. Coach Russ Rose, the six-time

National Champion women’s volleyball coach at Penn State,

created a communication tool he calls the 1-Minute Drill,

where he calls a player into his office at various times during

the season for a short one-on-one meeting. He tells them what

they are doing well, what they need to work on, and here is

where their focus should be during the next training cycle. He

then asks if they have any questions. It’s a quick effective way

to provide direct and honest feedback, clarify expectations,

alleviate uncertainty, and improve individual and team

performance.

Where There Is a Void in Communication,

Negativity Fills It

I have found that where there is a void in communication,

negativity will fill it. Without great communication, negativity

fills the void and it breeds and grows, resulting in nega­

tive contagious energy that quickly spreads. This is why

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communication is also essential. It not only develops great

relationships and trust, but it also prevents the spread of

rumors and negative energy that can sabotage a team and

organization. A few years ago, the Los Angeles Clippers faced

a crisis when the owner at the time, Donald Sterling, made

racist remarks. The media and the world were in a frenzy, but

Doc communicated with his team like he always had. Doc

built such a strong foundation that they were able to weather

the storm. Weaker cultures and teams without great commu­

nication would have crumbled, but Doc and his team stayed

strong together. You can’t wait for a crisis to hit to start commu­

nicating with your team. You must communicate before a crisis

so your foundation will be strong enough to overcome it.

Make sure you make communication your number-one prior­

ity. It’s often the last thing you want to do but it’s the most

important thing you must do. Communicate more individually

and collectively.

What does filling the void look like? At 8:31 AM Monday

morning, all employee weekly meetings are held and chal­

lenges, weekly goals, and hot topics are discussed. Hold

daily teleconferences with a sales team to communicate

obstacles, wins, and learning opportunities. Establish a daily

or weekly Skype session with a leader and their virtual team

that’s spread out around the globe. Set a daily call at noon

where a manager shares an inspirational message with

everyone in his company (like One Minute Manager author

Ken Blanchard does at his company). At home, conduct a

weekly family meeting, like the one my family holds on

Sundays. We talk about our family mission statement, our

challenges from the past week, upcoming challenges, and

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anything that’s on our hearts and minds. All of these ways of

filling the void look like a leader communicating frequently

with his team and providing honest and transparent updates

about the big changes coming their way.

Leading by Walking Around

A great way to fill voids in communication is to get out of your

office and interact with the people that you lead. Whether this

means visiting people in the office; eating in the cafeteria as

Doug Conant, the CEO of The Campbell Soup Company, did

frequently; or traveling to different cities and countries, nothing

beats face-to-face communication. When you interact with your

team and organization, you break down the barriers of us

versus them and build we. You develop strong relationships, a

strong team, and a strong organization.

In You Win in the Locker Room First, Coach Mike Smith

described how each day he made a couple of trips to the

training room to visit with players who were getting treatment.

He always wanted them to know that he was concerned and

interested in how they were doing, regardless of their practice

status. Some of the best conversations he ever had with

players took place in the training room. He would also visit

the weight room and talk to players and assistant coaches who

were getting a workout. Mike said he also made it a point to eat

with his players because he felt this environment allowed for

more natural conversations to take place and that he learned a

lot and developed great relationships with his players just by

talking to them during meals. And, of course, he spent a lot of

time in the locker room and would often walk in and just look

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around to see who was talking to who, what the energy was

like, and what the overall mood of the team was. Mike called

his approach “taking the temperature of the building.” He

didn’t read the thermostat but rather would take the pulse of

the team and the energy in the building. Mike said that

oftentimes, leaders will only concern themselves with the

temperature of the organization when things are not going

well. This can be a big miscalculation. It is just as important to

know what the vibes are when things are going well. In any

organization the pulse can be different every day based on

what’s happening. The dynamics of an organization, whether

in sports or business, are always changing and, as the leader,

you have to be prepared to manage the ebbs and flows that

occur by taking the temperature each day. Having an accurate

assessment of the mood of the building and organization at all

times will allow you to make the best decisions for your team

or organization. Mike said he had “thermostats” around the

building. Members of the training staff, equipment managers,

communications staff, and player-development team members

were invaluable. When walking around, he would ask these

people, “What’s the temperature today?” They shared priceless

information about players and Mike became aware of many

different situations, both positive and negative, by having these

conversations. Mike said that by asking what the temperature

was, “I not only learned more about the team and who was in a

bad mood, but I helped our organization operate at the highest

level and deal with potentially negative issues before they

impacted our culture and performance.” As a leader you can’t

just speak to other leaders who have the same vantage point as

you. You have to engage people who are closest to the potential

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challenges facing your organization. You have to ask questions,

listen, and learn, and then decide how to use the readings to

make decisions going forward.

Listening Is Communicating

People often think of communication as talking, but it’s also

about listening. The best communicator is not always the

most eloquent speaker, but rather the person who has the

ability to listen, process the information, and use it to make

decisions that are in the best interest of the team and organi­

zation. The best listeners truly hear what a person is saying

and trying to convey. Having worked with Mike Smith for

seven years while he was the coach of the Falcons, I noticed

his greatest strength as a leader was the way he listened to his

team. While visiting the facility, I always saw one of Mike’s

players talking to him and Mike listening intently. They knew

he cared about them and, as a result, they always gave their all

for him.

Research shows that when people feel like they are seen

and heard there is a moistening in the eyes, and yet in

90 percent of our conversations there is no moistening in

the eyes. As a positive leader, it’s important to be a positive

communicator and make others feel important by listening to

them and truly hearing what they have to say.

Enhance Your Positive Communication

Positive leaders are also positive communicators. They com­

municate in such a way that they make people around them

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better. One of my favorite phrases, for example, is “shout

praise, whisper criticism.” It comes from the original Olympic

Dream Team and Detroit Pistons coaches Chuck Daly and

Brendan Suhr. They won NBA Championships and an Olympic

gold medal, thanks to a lot of talent and great communication.

They gained the trust of their players and built winning teams

by praising in public and constructively criticizing in private.

Shouting praise means you recognize someone in front of their

peers, and whispering criticism means you coach them to get

better. Both build better people and teams.

Smiling is also a big part of positive communication. When

you share a real smile, it not only produces more serotonin in

your brain but in the brain of the recipient of your smile. Just by

smiling at someone, you are giving them a dose of serotonin, an

anti-depressant. Never underestimate the power of a smile. As a

positive communicator, you have the power to make someone

feel better just by smiling. No matter what your job is, when you

smile at someone, remember you are acting as a pharmacist

giving them an antidepressant.

Positive communicators also spread positive gossip.

Instead of sharing negative gossip, be the kind of communi­

cator who spreads positive news about people. My college

lacrosse teammate Mike Connelly is famous for this. When­

ever you talk to him he is always praising our mutual friends.

“Did you hear how awesome so and so is doing? Their kids are

doing great!” He never says a negative word about anyone.

He always spreads the positive news and the best part is that

you know when you are not around he is likely sharing

something positive, not negative, about you. It’s no surprise

he’s been a huge success in business.

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Positive leaders and communicators also listen to and

welcome ideas and suggestions on how they can improve.

They don’t fear criticism. They welcome it, knowing it makes

them better. They send a clear signal to their team, customers,

coaches, and everyone around them that they are always

willing to learn, improve, and grow. Positive communicators

say “I’m open. Make me better. Let’s get better together.” I did

this to my wife one time when she wanted to give me parenting

advice. Instead of being defensive, I listened. She was surprised

and, after a few short hours of telling me how I can improve, I

put some of her ideas into practice and made myself and my

children better.

I also believe positive leaders and communicators rely on

nonverbal communication. They encourage through nods,

facial expressions high-fives, handshakes, pats on the back,

fist bumps, and even hugs when appropriate. Positive com­

munication isn’t just verbal. It’s also physical. Several studies

have demonstrated the benefits of physical contact between

doctors and patients, teachers and students, and professional

athletes. For example, in one study the best NBA teams were

also the touchiest (high-fives, pats on the back, hugs). In a

world where physical touch has become taboo because of

misuse and abuse, we must remember that it is a way we

humans communicate naturally and is very powerful and

beneficial when done appropriately with good intention.12

Personally, I’m a fist bumper and a hugger. When I meet

people at speaking engagements I give them a choice: bump

or hug. Whichever they are more comfortable with is great

with me.

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Be an Encourager

Truett Cathy, the founder of Chick-Fil-A, asked rhetorically,

“How do you know if a man or woman needs encourage­

ment?” His response: “If they are breathing.” We all need

encouragement and positive communicators encourage and

inspire others to do more and become more than they ever

thought possible. Positive leaders are great encouragers and

it’s something the world needs more of. With so many people

telling us we can’t succeed, we need to hear people telling us

we can. I remember my high school English teacher telling me

not to apply to Cornell University because they wouldn’t

accept me and, even if they did, I wouldn’t be able to do

the work. (It’s funny that I’m a writer now.) I almost didn’t

apply, but a few days later I saw Ivan Goldfarb, a former

teacher, in the hallway and asked him about Cornell. He said,

“You apply. If you get in, then you go. You can do it.” His

words made all the difference. I applied, was accepted, and

majored in lacrosse. Too often we think it’s our role to inject a

dose of “reality” into someone’s life. We think it’s our job to

protect people from the pain of failure and defeat. We think

that dreams were meant for others. I say there are enough

pessimists and realists in the world. The world doesn’t need

more negativity and impossible thinkers. The world needs

more optimists, encouragers, and inspirers. The world needs

more people to speak into the hearts of others and say, “I

believe in you. Follow your passion and live your purpose. If

you have the desire then you also have the power to make it

happen. Keep working hard. You’re improving and getting

better. Keep it up. The economy is tough but you can still

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grow your business. The job market is not great, but I believe

you’ll find the right job for you. We’ve hit a lot of obstacles,

but we’ll get the project finished. Even if you fail, it will lead to

something even better. You’re learning and growing.” We all

love working for and with people who bring out the best in

us. We love being around people who uplift us and make us

feel great. And while we’ll always remember the negative

people who told us we couldn’t accomplish something, we

will always cherish and hold a special place in our heart for

those who encouraged us. I want to encourage you to be an

encourager. Leadership, as I wrote earlier, is a transfer of

belief. Today, decide to be that person who instills a positive

belief in someone who needs to hear your encouraging

words. Uplift someone who is feeling down. Fuel your

team with your positive energy. Rally others to focus on

what is possible rather than what seems impossible. Share

encouragement. It will help build your relationships. It

matters and we all need it.

Believe in Others More than They Believe

in Themselves

I’ll never forget the time I tried to quit lacrosse during my

freshman year in high school but my coach, Tony Caiazza,

wouldn’t let me. He told me that I was going to play in

college one day. He even said I would play in the Ivy League.

I didn’t even know what the Ivy League was at the time. He

had a vision for me that I couldn’t even fathom. He believed

in me more than I believed in myself. I ended up going to

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Cornell University to play for Coach Richie Moran, who also

believed in me, and the experience changed my life forever.

The difference between success and failure is belief, and so

often this belief is instilled in us by someone else. Coach

Caiazza was that person for me and it changed my life. You

can be that person for the people you lead if you believe in

them and see their potential rather than their limitations. It’s

amazing what people will accomplish when they know you

believe in them!

Help Your Team Become Unstoppable

Since I played lacrosse in college I encouraged my daughter

to play as well. But in elementary school, it didn’t look like she

had a future in lacrosse. While the rest of the kids were

running up and down the field she would stand still, pick

grass, and look up at the sky. It was honestly very frustrating

to watch. In middle school she started to get into the action a

little more and I saw signs of life. We would often throw the

ball around together and work on her stick skills. I saw

improvement in practice, but when she would play in the

games she was very tentative. I had to admit I wasn’t a very

positive leader at the time, and by pushing my expectations

and frustrations on her, I almost caused her to quit playing. I

was a classic transactional parent, where my identity was tied

to her success. I read Joe Ehrmann’s book Inside Out Coach­

ing, which is about being transformational instead of transac­

tional, and it changed me as a parent. I still played and practiced

with my daughter to help her improve, but this time I did so

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with encouragement instead of frustration. In ninth grade she

made the high school varsity team and even started a few

games, but was benched because she missed a few passes in

key games. I continued to encourage her. We would practice

her dodges in the backyard often and she really improved, but

she was still tentative and never tried to dodge and score in

the games. I started to tell her she was unstoppable all the

time. I would say “You are unstoppable, Jade. They can’t stop

you. Take it to the goal. You are unstoppable.” This was funny

because at the time she was very stoppable. In the 10th grade

she became a starter once again but was benched after not

playing well in one or two games. I knew she had it in her to

be great but she wasn’t showing it. The old me would have

yelled at her but the new me just encouraged her and kept

telling her she was unstoppable. “Just take it to the cage and

shoot, Jade. They can’t stop you. You are unstoppable.” I said

it often and she would just smile. I kept hoping and praying

she would realize her potential, unsure if it would ever

happen. During her junior year I kept practicing with her

and encouraging her and telling her she was unstoppable.

And then finally she became unstoppable. She scored 80 goals

that season, 8 in the district finals and 7 in the state semifinals,

to help her team make it to the state finals. She was named an

Academic All American and received offers to play lacrosse in

college. It was so enjoyable to watch her play and rewarding

to know that we did it the right way. I had to experience the

power of positive leadership firsthand before I could write a

book on it. From almost ruining my daughter, to becoming a

positive leader who encouraged and believed in her, I know

the difference it makes.

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Connect One on One

While communication and encouragement builds trust and

develops the relationship, connecting is where trust is earned,

the bond is created, the relationship is strengthened, commit­

ment is generated, and great coaching and leadership happens.

Positive leaders do more than just communicate, they connect

heart to heart. I spoke in the previous chapter about how

leaders create a united and connected organization and team,

but organization and team connection is the result of individual

connection. The greatest leaders I’ve been around connect with

those they lead. I’ve watched the way Cori Close, the basketball

coach at UCLA; Sherri Coale, the basketball coach at Oklahoma

University; and Deanna Gumpf, the Notre Dame softball coach

lead and interact with their teams. I’ve seen how they commu­

nicate, connect, and treat their players like family. I know how

much time and effort they make to connect with each player

and it’s why they have built successful programs over time.

Without connection you’ll never have commitment, but when

you connect, you generate the commitment that leads to greater

performance and success. I’m convinced you can’t truly coach

someone to grow unless you know and have a relationship

with them. Connection and relationships are what drive real

growth.

I witnessed a great example of a coach connecting with

his player while visiting the Los Angeles Dodgers the day

before they clinched a spot in the postseason in 2016. I had

spoken to the coaches and team during spring training about

how to build a winning team and the importance of being a

connected team. Now here I was, six months later, sitting and

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talking with the manager, Dave Roberts, in his office, when

one of his players walked in to say hello. Dave got up from

his chair and gave the player a big bear hug for about five

seconds. It was the kind of hug that a dad would give his son

after returning home from a long trip. They talked for a little

bit about life and practice before the player said I’ll see you

later and left. I told Dave how great it was that he would give

his player a hug like that. He said, “I do it each day and he

often stops by to talk about life and challenges and whatever

is on his mind.” A few weeks later, while watching the

Dodgers play the Nationals in the postseason I watched in

amazement as this player hit home runs in Games 4 and 5 to

help the Dodgers advance. It was as if I had a front-row seat

to see the impact of what happens when a coach makes the

time to pour love and support into one of his players. This

player who had struggled the year before was now one of the

heroes because his leader took the time to connect and care

about him. Dave’s commitment to connect wasn’t isolated to

just this one player. As Dave showed me around the facility, I

watched as he had meaningful and frequent touch points

and connections with every player and coach we encoun­

tered. It was fun and special to watch positive leadership in

action.

Be Committed

Communication, encouragement, belief, listening, and con­

necting are essential to build great relationships and great

teams, but without commitment nothing great will ever be

built or accomplished. Every leader wants committed people

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on their team. We all want a committed team. But if you want

commitment, you must be committed. If you want commit­

ment from your team, you must show your commitment to

your team. You can’t just talk about your commitment. They

must feel your commitment. When the people you lead see

and feel your commitment, they will be more committed to

you and each other. When leaders complain to me that their

teams aren’t committed, I always tell them to show their team

what commitment looks like: “Go above and beyond. It starts

with you.”

“What does it look like?” they ask.

“It looks like putting the needs of others before your own.”

Serve to Be Great

A team feels a leader’s commitment when the leader takes the

time to serve them. Jesus washed feet; Martin Luther King

marched, went to jail, and fought for equality; Mother Teresa

fed the poor and healed the sick. Over the years, I have met

many leaders who served their teams in simple, powerful ways.

Many leaders think that, as they gain power and responsibility,

their teams should serve them more, but positive leaders know

that their job is to serve their teams. When you serve the team,

you help them grow and they help you grow. You can’t serve

yourself and your team at the same time. You have to decide

whether you are going to serve me or we. You must decide if

you are going to be a self-serving “leader” or a true leader who

serves others.

It’s hard to be a positive servant-leader in today’s world.

Leaders are under more pressure than ever to perform. If you

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are a business leader, you must answer to the stock market, the

board, and shareholders. If you are a coach, you must answer to

your owner, general manager, and fan base. If you are a school

leader you have to answer to your school board, superintend­

ents, and parents of students. With expectations come pressure

and stress that drive a leader to survive, which leads to self-

preservation rather than serving the team. When leaders

become focused on the fruit instead of the root, when they

worry about the outcome instead of the process of developing

team members, they may survive in the short run, but they will

not thrive in the long run. Self-serving leaders don’t leave

legacies that change the world for the better. They may

make money and achieve some fame in the short run, but

true greatness is achieved when a leader brings out the great­

ness in others. Great leaders are great servants. A great leader

sacrifices and serves in order to help team members become

great. At the end of the day, it all comes down to this: You don’t

have to be great to serve, but you have to serve to be great. The

big questions you must ask yourself each day are: What am I

doing to serve my team and the people I lead? How can I serve

them to help them be the best versions of themselves? How can

I demonstrate my commitment to them? These were questions I

had to ask myself and lead to lessons I needed to learn in order

to be a better leader.

Doing the Laundry

A few years ago my son came to my office while I was writing

a new book and asked me to play ping-pong. I said I was

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too busy. He came back again and again. I finally said, “I

can’t. I’m writing a book about engaged relationships.” Here

I was writing a book about engaged relationships and I was

too busy to make time for the most important relationships

of all!

Each year, I choose a word for the year and I knew that

year my word was going to be “serve.” I had been traveling a

lot to speak to a number of companies, schools, and sports

teams, and my wife and teenage children were struggling at

home. I realized I needed to be more committed to my team

and start serving at home. So I turned down a number of

speaking engagements to make more time with my family. It

turned out to be the hardest year of my life. My daughter was

not doing great in school. My wife and son were butting

heads. My wife was stressed and having trouble managing it

all. It was very frustrating because I wanted my kids to be

self-starters like I was as a kid. I wanted my wife to be able to

handle it all. Why did they need my help? Why couldn’t I just

focus on making a difference in the world? Why couldn’t I

have a different team? Yes, I admit it. I wanted a different

team. Have you ever wanted a different team? If you are a

leader, coach, or parent I know the answer is yes. Despite

my frustration, I made the time to help my team get better. I

drove my daughter to school each day and encouraged her.

When she came home, I grilled her on her homework

assignments and test topics to make sure she was preparing

and studying. I put the kids to bed and prayed with them. I

did the laundry often. I got very involved in their everyday

challenges. In short, I became committed. At the end of the

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year, my wife asked me what my word would be for the

coming year. She asked if it was going to be “selfish,”

because she had never seen me do so much for my family.

I told her no way. “Serve” was now a part of me and my

commitment. Making the time to serve my family was how I

showed I was truly committed to them. I realized that I didn’t

need a different team. I needed to become a better leader.

Everything in my being wanted to focus on me, but I was at

my best when I focused on we. I also realized a great truth for

leaders: We have the team we have for a reason. The

challenges we have with our team are meant to make us

better leaders. In the process of committing to my family and

learning to serve, I became a better leader. Ironically, that’s

when my books and career took off.

When you are committed, your team notices. My son hurt

his back playing tennis and my wife took him to the chiroprac­

tor, who asked how I was doing. My wife told him I was

speaking at the World Leaders Conference with a bunch of

famous people. The chiropractor said, “Well, Jon is kind of

famous.” My son replied, “Not in our house. He does the

laundry.” When my wife told me this story I lit up. My son

noticed my commitment at home and that meant everything. At

the end of the day, I don’t want to be a household name. I want

to be a big name in my household. My daughter is also doing

great at school, my wife is much happier, and I’m helping my

son become the best version of himself. I believe all success

starts with making the team (home team, work team, sports

team) around you better.

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It’s Not About You

I first met Carl Liebert when he was the CEO of 24 Hour

Fitness and invited me to speak to the leaders of his com­

pany. Liebert was a graduate of the Naval Academy and

played on the Navy basketball team with David Robinson.

After a long and successful career with Home Depot, Liebert

brought his servant leadership approach to 24 Hour Fitness.

Before he became CEO, the executives of 24 Hour Fitness

had personal trainers visit their homes to train them in

private, but Liebert made it mandatory for the executives

to train at the centers so they could spend more time

interacting with staff members and identify better ways to

serve their team and customers. He also required executives

to work for a week in one of their locations each year. Some

executives chose to work in membership sales while others

worked as physical trainers or in membership services. The

experience helped the 24 Hour Fitness leaders to not only

better serve their team but also to understand the needs of

their members. It demonstrated their commitment to every­

one, and it made all the difference. After successfully trans­

forming 24 Hour Fitness, Liebert became the COO of USAA

Insurance, where he continues to demonstrate his servant

leadership and commitment. I have spent time at USAA and

have personally witnessed the way he leads his team with

authenticity, humility, and commitment. He asks for input

and invites feedback. He shares his one word with everyone

in the company and invites everyone to share their words

with him. He looks for ways to develop the strengths of each

team member and coaches them to be the best versions of

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themselves. Most of all, he leads with humility, knowing it’s

not about him—it’s about his team. He doesn’t like when I

write about him because he doesn’t seek recognition, but I

had to tell you about him because his example is so power­

ful. Remember, it’s not about you. It’s about committing

yourself to others.

Commit to Coach

One of the reasons why I write a lot about coaches is because

I spend a lot of time with them, and one of the reasons why I

spend time with them is because I love the way great coaches

commit to their teams. Everyone talks about the brilliant

minds of coaches like San Antonio Spurs head coach Greg

Popovich or New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick,

but if you look closer and spend time in their locker rooms,

you would find that their real secret is their commitment to

coaching their players to be their best. They give everything

they have to help their players become all they can be. They

invest in them as people and performers, helping them

improve in all facets of their life. The media wouldn’t describe

them as positive leaders, but their players know they are.

Leaders beyond sports need to learn to coach as well. I often

tell leaders that you can’t coach everyone in the organization

but you can coach your leadership team to be better leaders

and encourage them to coach their direct reports and so on

throughout the organization. If every leader committed to

coaching people, then performance, productivity, and profits

would soar! Years ago the Army would send its best men to the

elite 75th Ranger Regiment, but only about 30 percent would

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make it through. Army leadership decided to invest more to

prepare candidates for the challenging training. The following

year, 80 percent became Rangers. The difference was coach­

ing and an investment in people, process, and preparation.

When you selflessly commit to coaching, those you lead will

also create a culture of coaching in your organization, and

everyone benefits.

Commitment Requires Sacrifice

To build a great team and organization and to change the

world, people have to know and feel that you would run into a

burning building to save them. They have to know that you are

willing to sacrifice yourself for their gain. Positive leaders don’t

just share a positive vision and take the easy road to get there.

They often ignore the easy path and take the more difficult road

filled with service and sacrifice. When I think of the positive

leaders who changed the world, they were all committed to

people. They were committed to others and a cause greater

than themselves. Long before Rosa Parks decided not to give up

her seat on a bus to a white man in 1955, she had been an

activist. Since 1943, she had been a member of her local NAACP

chapter, and she had marched on behalf of injustices in our

country. She would go on to say about her decision to not give

up her seat, “The only tired I was, was tired of giving in,” and

her simple act and commitment to others and a cause she

believed in, kickstarted the civil rights movement.

Mother Teresa committed her life to serving the poorest of

the poor and built her start-up missionary community of 13

members in Calcutta into a global force for good of over 4,000

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nuns running orphanages, serving the poor, and healing the

sick. A winner of the Nobel Peace Prize, she inspired countless

people to serve and she showed the world what commitment

looks like.

On the surface it looks like Oprah built herself a fortune by

focusing on her needs and taking the easy path, but this

couldn’t be further from the truth. Yes, she built a media

empire, but it was her perseverance, grit, and commitment

to helping people grow that made her empire possible. Maya

Angelou said, “A leader sees greatness in other people. He nor

she can’t be much of a leader if all she sees is herself.” Positive

leaders see others and commit to bringing out the greatness of

others.

When You Help Others Improve, You Improve

The great thing about commitment is that when you commit your

life to helping others grow, you grow. Swen Nater was an

All American at Cypress Community College when John Wooden

recruited him to play at UCLA. As the story goes, Wooden told

him that he wasn’t going to play in a lot of games because they

already had the best center in the world in Bill Walton, but

Nater would have the opportunity to play against Walton every

day in practice. Wooden wanted the six-foot-eleven Nater to

challenge and push Walton to improve. Nater accepted his role

during his time at UCLA and every day in practice he focused

on one task: making Walton better. While he was helping

Walton improve, something interesting happened. Nater also

improved. He was the only player in ABA and NBA history to

be drafted in the first round never having started a collegiate

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game. Nater was named the ABA Rookie of the Year and went on

to have a 12-year career in the ABA and NBA. He is a great

example of how, when you help your team get better, you get

better. When you focus on helping others improve, you improve.

When you lose your ego in the service of others, you find the

greatness within you. Great leaders serve the people they lead.

Nater’s commitment to his team helped him become a successful

professional basketball player, and he’s now an executive with

Costco, where he’s making everyone around him better. There

are countless ways to help others improve. I can’t tell you what

you should do, but I can tell you that when you commit to being a

positive leader dedicated to others, you will be well on your way

to transforming your team and the world.

Elite of the Elite

I met a leader of Special Forces for the United States, and he told

me how Navy Seals have to try out to be members of the elite

group Seal Team Six. While Navy Seals are considered to be elite

members of Special Forces, they have to try out to be members of

the elite Seal Team Six unit. He said that, while prospects are

trying out, the current team is looking for certain characteristics. If

during the tryout a prospect doesn’t fit their criteria, Seal Team

Six says, “Thank you very much, but you’re not the right fit.”

“What’s the right fit?” I asked. He said what we are looking

for is not just someone who performs at the highest level but,

while performing at the highest level also looks out for his

team members, making them better in the process. It occurred

to me that if you want to be elite you can be a high performer,

but if you want be the elite of the elite you have to be a

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transformational positive leader and a high performer who

makes others better in the process.

Positive Leaders Care

It all comes down to caring. If you don’t love, you don’t care,

and if you don’t care, you won’t make the time to unite,

communicate, encourage, connect, commit, serve, or sacrifice.

Positive leaders care about the people they lead. They care

about their team and organization. They care about changing

the world because they know the world needs changing.

Because they care, they do more, give more, encourage

more, help more, guide more, mentor more, develop more,

build more, and, ultimately, accomplish more. If I had a

dollar for every time I heard the saying, “People don’t care

how much you know until they know how much you care,” I

would be rich. But the reason why people say it so much is

because it’s true. When you care about someone, they know

it and feel it. And when they know you care about them, they

will care about you and follow you with loyalty and passion.

Pat Summitt, the legendary women’s basketball coach at

Tennessee, said, “I won 1,098 games and eight national

championships, and coached in four different decades.

But what I see are not the numbers. I see their faces.”

And her players still talk about how she cared about the

faces she saw. She became a surrogate mother to hundreds of

her players over the years—players who became more like

her daughters. What they remember most about her was the

way she cared about them and made time for them and

always had her office door open so they could walk in and sit

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down and talk with her. One of her players, Candace Parker,

said Summitt was excited about winning championships but

she was even more excited about making a difference in the

lives of her players.

Develop Your Caring Trademark

Great leaders have what I call a caring trademark, a unique

way that shows they care that causes them to stand out in their

work and in the world. If you’ve followed Derek Jeter’s career

and watched his improbable game-winning hit in his final at

bat in Yankee Stadium, you know that Derek treated every

at bat like it was his last, and that’s what made his last at bat

so special. No one worked harder, played with more passion,

or cared more about his team and honoring the game of

baseball than “The Captain,” Derek Jeter. Jeter’s hustle, pas­

sion, love of his team, commitment, and work ethic have

become his caring trademark over the last 20 years.While

Jeter always sprinted to first base and treated every at bat as a

sacred experience, Doug Conant’s caring trademark was

writing over 10,000 thank-you notes to employees while he

was the CEO of Campbell Soup.

Drew Watkins, the superintendent of Prosper Indepen­

dent School District (ISD) in Texas, shows he cares more than

any educator I’ve ever met. I found out from his staff that he

writes a personal note of congratulations to every graduating

senior. They mentioned it casually in conversation, as if it was

no big deal, but I quickly stopped in my tracks. “How many

graduates do you have this year?” I asked.“403,” they said. “He

started doing it when we had just 80 graduates in the district

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and keeps doing it year after year no matter how much we

grow. “I asked how he learns about each student. “Does he

get a report from the teachers in order to write the notes?”

“No,” they said. “He actually knows them. He personally

knows every student in the district. He’s in the schools all

the time, not his office.” It was clear that he loves the students

and they love him back, as you can see from the big hug he

received from a big graduate.

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When Watkins and I had some time to chat, I asked what

he’s going to do when he has 1,000 graduates. He told me he

was going to keep doing it. “The day I stop is the day I need to

stop doing this job,” he said. “The crime is not that the passion

has run out. It’s that you stuck around after it has.” Watkins is,

in no way, just sticking around. I found out that in addition to

writing notes to graduates he also sends each student in

Prosper ISD a note on their birthday. He can often be seen

opening car doors and greeting students in the car line each

morning before school. Sometimes he leaves messages of

encouragement on whiteboards in the classrooms while the

teachers and students are at lunch. And every Monday morn­

ing he sends all the educators and staff in the district an email

with words of wisdom, encouragement, and praise. I posted a

comment on Facebook about meeting Watkins, and the

comments flooded in.

A former student wrote:

I’ve known him since I was a kid in pre-k. He sat down with

me at lunch one day my junior year in high school and asked,

“Still don’t like the crust?” meaning my sandwich which I had

torn the crust off from. For him to remember that I didn’t like

the crust all this time still amazes me. I’m grateful to have had

him for a superintendent, couldn’t have asked for a better one.

A few moms wrote:

“I’ll never forget when my children were in kindergarten.

They came home talking about a ‘man’ that sat with them at

lunch. Puzzled, I was like ‘What man??!’ They quickly

responded, ‘Mr. Watkins.’ I was impressed six years ago and

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have continued to be, as I see him opening car doors, greeting

the kids in car line . . . sometimes in the pouring rain.”

“He opened the car door for my son Jacob on his first day of

kindergarten and on his last day of his senior year and he

remembered!! Made me cry like a baby.”

A few teachers from Prosper ISD wrote:

“I love Dr. Watkins. Twelve years working for Prosper ISD,

and he has the same passion as the first day. Proud to be

part of his staff.”

“Dr. Watkins is a leader by example. He shows the students,

staff, and the community of Prosper that he cares!!”

The overwhelming flood of responses showed how much

people appreciate a leader who cares and how we long for

leaders to care. I left Prosper ISD inspired by Drew Watkins to

do more to show that I care. I hope after reading this you feel

the same way. Drew Watkins is a great model for all of us. We

can all care more, give more, and do more to make a difference.

We may not rise to the level of caring of Drew Watkins, but we

can strive to be more like him. We can all work to invest in

relationships and find ways to show people that we care about

them. When you show you care in your own unique way, you

will stand out in a world where many have seemed to forget to

care. And when you care, you inspire others to care. After all,

think about all the great organizations lead by positive leaders

who are showing the world they care. A caring leader unites,

connects, encourages, and transforms teams and organizations

and changes the world.

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The Sandwich

The first leader I ever met, the one who was my greatest coach

and encourager, the one who loved and served me and cared

about me like no other was my mom. She wasn’t always

positive to herself but she taught me one of the greatest lessons

in positive leadership. More than 10 years ago I was taking a

walk with my mom near her home in South Florida when I

noticed she was getting tired. My mom and I always walked

together. She was a fit, walking machine and never got tired, so

I knew something was wrong. “Let’s go back to the condo so

you can rest,” I said.

“No, I want to walk to the store so I can get some food to

make you a sandwich for your drive home.”

I was headed back to my home in Ponte Vedra Beach and

my mom thought I might starve to death without eating during

the five-hour drive. Her caring trademark was cooking for me.

We continued walking, made it to the supermarket, and, as

we walked back, I could tell she was getting more and more

tired. When we arrived back at her condo she was exhausted,

and yet the first thing she did was walk into the kitchen to

make me a sandwich. On my drive home, I ate her sandwich

but didn’t think much about it at the time. Now, over 10 years

later, I think about that sandwich a lot because it was the last

time I saw my mom fully conscious. My mom was battling

cancer, which was why she was so tired. She didn’t tell me

how bad it really was, nor did she mention how bleak the

odds were for her survival. She was fighting for her life and,

yet, on that day, her biggest priority was to make me a

sandwich. Looking back I realize she wasn’t just making

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me a sandwich. She was showing me what selfless love and

positive leadership are all about. At her funeral, many of her

real estate clients and colleagues came up to me and shared

countless stories of all the selfless acts of love my mom did for

them as well. It turns out she served her team at work and her

clients the same way she served her family. We often think

that great leadership is about big visions, big goals, big

actions, and big success. But I learned from my mom that

real positive leadership is about serving others by doing the

little things with a big dose of selfless love. Many want to be

big-time leaders but it’s important to remember that being a

big-time leader starts with doing the little things to serve those

you lead. It’s always about the little things. Unity, relation­

ships, and teamwork are developed slowly, one day; one

interaction; one moment; one loving, serving, and caring act

at a time.

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Chapter 9

Positive Leaders Pursue Excellence

People think you have to choose between positivity

and winning. You don’t have to choose.

Positivity leads to winning.

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P ositive leaders care about others and are optimistic aboutthe future, so they are always looking for ways to make it better. They are always looking for ways to transform what is into

what could be. They are never satisfied with the status quo and as

a result are always striving to improve themselves, their teams,

their organizations, and the world. They pursue excellence,

build greatness, and often try to accomplish the impossible.

These efforts are not for the faint of heart. They require passion,

humility, grit, confidence, drive, and an uncommon desire to be

ones best and bring out the best in others. Positive leaders make

their life and work a quest for excellence. When they wake up,

they ask themselves, “How can I get better to make the world

better?” A positive leader on a quest for excellence is significant

because one positive leader in pursuit of excellence raises the

standards and performance of everyone around them.

Humble and Hungry

Positive leaders are humble and hungry. They don’t think they

know it all. They are life-long learners who are always seeking

ways to learn, improve, and grow. They are always open to

new ideas and strategies to take their life and work to the next

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level. They live with humility, knowing that the minute they

think they’ve arrived at the door of greatness is the moment it

will get slammed in their face. They are also hungry with a

passion and burning desire to continuously improve and grow.

They are willing to put in the sweat and tears, commitment

and years in order to help their teams and organizations accom­

plish great things. Matt Ryan, the quarterback of the Atlanta

Falcons, is a great example of humble and hungry. Every time I

spoke to the team during training camp, he was always sitting in

the front row to the left and would always come up to me

afterwards and ask me a question about something I shared. He

wasn’t motivated by a paycheck. He had already signed a $100

million contract. He was always looking for even the smallest

way to improve and get better as a quarterback and leader, and

it’s why he continues to improve every year.

Positive leaders never stop learning and growing and

improving. I remember speaking at a leadership conference

in Dallas and looking over to the left in the front row and seeing

Zig Ziglar, the legendary motivational speaker sitting there. I

ran over to him and said, “Zig, one of the big goals in my life

was to meet you.”

He said, “You need to have bigger goals.”

He was still funny after all those years. While speaking, I

looked over and saw Ziglar taking notes. At 82 years old, he

was taking notes. Not because I was up there. Anybody could

have been up there and he would have been taking notes. He

was humble and hungry. He only lived a few more years after

that but I’ll always remember how he spent the last few years

of his life—still improving. I love what Pablo Casals, the

famous cellist, said when asked why he continued to practice

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the cello at the age of 90. He said, “Because I think I’m making

progress.”

There Is No Finish Line

While having lunch with George Raveling, the legendary Hall

of Fame college basketball coach, I learned that after three

decades of coaching he worked in broadcasting for a few years

before joining Nike at the age of 62 years old as their director of

global basketball sports marketing. While most people are

getting ready to retire, George said working at Nike was like

going to Harvard Business School. He learned more in the last

18 years of his life than the previous 52 years. At 80 years old

George reads 50 books a year and asks himself often, what do I

need to know that I don’t know? What do I need to unlearn to

learn? Each day his goal is to be a positive difference in as many

people’s lives as possible. I asked George if he would ever

retire. He said, “I’ve thought about it but then what would I do?”

He’s already mentored and impacted countless coaches, play­

ers, and people but he’s still not done making a difference.

Reiterating one of Nike’s tag lines he said, “There is no finish

line.” At 80 he’s still learning, growing, and improving. So can

you at any age. Keep learning. Keep improving. Keep helping

others. Keep making a positive impact. There is no finish line.

Demanding without Being Demeaning

Many think that positive leaders are nice, undisciplined, happy­

go-lucky people who smile all the time and believe that results

are not important. But this couldn’t be further from the truth.

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Positive leaders are demanding without being demeaning.

They both challenge and encourage their teams and organiza­

tions to continue to improve and get better. Being a positive

leader doesn’t mean you don’t have high expectations. The

greatest positive leaders I have met, such as Alan Mulally, have

very high expectations. You don’t transform a company losing

$14 billon into a profitable business in a few years without high

expectations. However, he provided the encouragement, pro­

cess, system, and coaching to meet these expectations. Pete

Carroll, coach of the Seattle Seahawks, is known for creating a

culture where his team has a lot of fun but he’s also one of the

most competitive people you’ll ever meet. His belief that

competition makes you better is a huge part of the Seattle

Seahawks DNA, and they are passionate about always improv­

ing and winning.

Love and Accountability

I’ve worked with and studied leaders for years and I believe

that the positive leaders who are able to create amazing

teams and results provide both a lot of love and a lot of

accountability. Love and accountability. That is how great

teams, organizations, relationships, and results are created. If I

had to pick the most important section of the book it would be

right here: Alan Mulally, for example, told me that you have to

love your people, but you have to make sure you hold your

team accountable to the plan, the process, the principles, and

the values of the culture. Alan told me that while his leader­

ship approach and management system includes bringing

everyone in the company together, respect, helping and

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appreciating each other, having fun, and enjoying the jour­

ney, it’s also about a relentless implementation of the plan. It’s

about having clear performance goals and making sure every­

one knows the goals and knows the data, status, and progress

towards those goals. It’s making sure everyone knows the

plan and what needs special attention. If you are having a

problem, that’s okay, but don’t keep it a secret. Let’s figure it

out together and find a solution. If you are failing in some

way, you won’t be ostracized, but rather you will find the

support you need to succeed. Yet, Alan said there is zero

tolerance for violating the process. If you are not willing to

work with others on the plan, then Ford is probably not the

right fit for you. Alan said his number-one job was to be a

keeper of the culture and hold his team accountable to the

principles, values, process, and behaviors. He said if some­

one violates the process and you don’t address it, then

everyone knows you aren’t committed to it. If you don’t

hold people accountable to it, your team won’t live and

breathe it. But when you love people and hold them account­

able, it’s amazing how fast things can move in the right

direction. When Alan took over Ford, his leadership team

didn’t know if he was for real and many people didn’t buy

into his approach at first. But Alan was steadfast in his

principles and process. He held his team accountable to

the process and his expectations and, as a result, he quickly

earned their trust and respect, and teamwork improved

swiftly.

Dabo Swinney is one of the best I’ve ever seen at providing

both love and accountability, and it’s one of the key reasons for

their recent success and prominence. When you spend time

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with him and his program, you can feel the love he has for his

players. They know it. But they also know that he’s there to

make them better and hold them accountable to the standards

they have set at Clemson. Clemson is like a big family with a lot

of love and also a lot of structure and discipline. When one of

his star players violated team rules, Dabo wouldn’t let him play

the first game of the season against Auburn, a very good team.

Although it wasn’t a big violation, and most teams would have

let the player play, Dabo told me, “We have to hold everyone

accountable to the standards we have set, and if I let him play

what does that say to our players, our staff, our university, and

our fans? We have our values and we must live them.” People

tried to convince him otherwise but he stuck to his guns and

they won the game without their star player. That was five years

before Clemson would win a National Championship. To

understand how important the culture, values, and process

are to Dabo, he has a book about 18 inches thick with ideas,

principles, beliefs, cultural values, and other notes that he

reviews with his coaching staff during a four-day retreat before

the season. Every year, for four full days, Dabo goes through

the book, page by page, with his staff. He said, “You can’t

assume they know it or remember it. You can’t forget all the

little things that made and make you successful. You have to

go back to the basics and that’s what we do for four full days.

This book represents the foundation of what we are all about

and we commit to it. Then we love our players and hold them

accountable to it.” Love without accountability means you’ll

have great relationships and be a loving family, but you won’t

be a great team. On a great team, each player makes the

others better. Everyone strives for excellence together and

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accomplishes great things together. If you have accountability

without love, you won’t have real commitment, buy-in,

loyalty, passion, or great teamwork. You’ll be more like a

dysfunctional family that fights all the time and simply tries to

survive each day but doesn’t thrive. Eventually the rules will

lead to rebellion and the pressure and stress without support

will lead to burnout.

Love Tough

The difference between a positive leader and other leaders is

that many leaders focus on accountability first and love comes

later or not at all. Many talk about tough love and I believe in it,

but I have found that love must come first. If your team knows

you love them, they will allow you to challenge and push them.

Instead of tough love, it needs to be love tough. My friend Buzz

Williams, who is the head basketball coach at Virginia Tech,

loves his players and invests in them so much that he earns the

right to push them beyond their comfort zone to be their best.

He helps them become better than they ever thought possible

because he’s all about love tough. John Calipari is the same

way. And so is Stephanie White, Christina Halfpenny, Brad

Stevens, Mike Matheny, and Clint Hurdle—so are all the posi­

tive leaders who make the greatest impact. When you think

about it, it’s not a nice way to lead, but rather it’s the way to lead,

because when you love someone you want to help them

improve. It means you challenge them to reach their full

potential. You don’t let them settle for anything but their

best. Your team may not like you for it now, but they will

appreciate you for it later. I tell this to my teenagers all the time

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because they are the beneficiaries of my love tough leadership.

And I know from experience that your team won’t hate you if

your love comes first. They may not like it but they will know

you love them and want the best for them.

Craftsmen and Craftswomen

Positive leaders help their team become craftsmen and crafts-

women instead of carpenters. There’s a difference between a

carpenter and a craftsman. A carpenter just builds something

but a craftsman puts in more time, energy, effort, and care to

build a work of art. Instead of just showing up and going

through the motions, a craftsman works to build masterpieces.

In a world where too many settle for mediocrity, craftsmen and

craftswomen seek to create excellence and build greatness.

They care more and, because they care more, they invest

more—more energy, effort, sweat, tears, and years mastering

their craft. While speaking to an MLB baseball team in their

locker room I asked them how many believed they could work

harder than they already were. Everyone raised their hands.

Then I said, “So what’s the next question?”

They answered “Why aren’t you?”

We discussed it and decided that to work harder, you have to

care more. If you care more, you will put your heart, soul, spirit,

and passion into it to accomplish more. If you care more about

your project, work, and craft than about all the distractions vying

for your attention, you won’t allow those distractions to get in the

way. You will invest your energy into building something

meaningful that lasts. Positive leaders and their teams care

more and, as a result, they create more masterpieces.

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In Walter Isaacson’s biography of Steve Jobs, he shared a

story about Jobs as a young boy helping his father build a fence.

His father told him he must care about crafting the back of the

fence as much as the front. When Steve asked why the back

mattered when no one would see how it was crafted, his father

said, “But, you will know.” Steve’s father taught him to care

more and, years later, he went on to create Apple products with

such care that they generated feelings of awe, loyalty, and

passion among the brand’s millions of new customers. It wasn’t

an accident. Jonathan Ive, the man who has designed many

iconic Apple products, said, “We believe our customers can

sense the care we put into our products.” Apple cared about the

work they did and the products they created and, in turn, their

customers cared about them. I know Steve Jobs wasn’t con­

sidered very positive by most who worked with him, and some

would argue that he wouldn’t be considered a positive leader.

Please keep in mind that no one is a perfect positive leader and

not everyone has every trait discussed in this book. From all

accounts, Jobs fell short in his ability to develop relationships,

but his vision, mission, optimism, pursuit of excellence, and

desire to change the world were unmatched, and that’s why I

am sharing what he did. He was a craftsman who cared more,

and I believe it was his passion that attracted people to him and

inspired them to be craftspeople who created masterpieces that

changed the world.

The One Percent Rule

It’s a simple rule I share with leaders and teams to help them

create excellence. The rule says to give one percent more time,

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energy, effort, focus, and care today than you gave yesterday.

Each day give more than you did the day before. Obviously you

can’t calculate one percent, but you can push yourself more

today than you did yesterday. You can improve and get better

today. You can strive for excellence and work to become your

best. You can tune out distractions and focus even more on

what matters most. I’ve had one team with 35 people imple­

menting the one percent rule. They said if each person gives

one percent more each day that’s 35 percent daily and, over

time, this extra percent will produce big results. It did. They

had incredible growth by pursuing both individual and team

excellence.

Clarity and Action

Excellence is what positive leaders strive for, but you can’t

achieve excellence without clarity and action. Positive leaders

provide the clarity that leads to focused action. This was never

more clear to me than when Alan Mulally shared several images

with me before our conversation. One image included his

Working Together management system, principles, and prac­

tices that are a list of 11 expected ideals, such as “people first,”

“everyone is included,” and “clear performance goals.” The

second image featured Mulally’s Creating Value Roadmap

process, which shared the process and strategy he and his

team and organization would utilize to work together to

relentlessly implement the plan. Every key part of the process

and plan were all contained in one image that provided the

clarity of vision, process, focus, and plan. The third image

Mulally shared was also Ford’s Creating Value Roadmap

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process. This time he had designed it for Ford. On a two-sided

plastic card that was shared with everyone in the company,

Mulally included the vision, strategy, and plan: One Ford. One

team. One plan. One goal. Mulally said that everyone needs to

know the plan, embrace the plan, and trust the process. Then

you love ‘em up and let them take action. When I spoke with

Mulally, he said everything he did was based on these three

images, which everyone knew, understood, and embraced. I

immediately saw the genius in his approach and management

system. Everything everyone needed to know was right there in

front of them in a card they could hold in their hand. They didn’t

have to search the company website for it or read a 200-page

book. Everyone had the plan, knew the plan, and understood

the process. Mulally provided such clarity that it enabled and

empowered everyone in the company to take action. There was

no ambiguity creating hesitancy, or clutter slowing people down.

Instead, there was organizational unity, operational discipline,

and focused action day after day, week after week, that over time

produced incredible results.

As a leader, don’t fall into the trap that the idea or plan has

to be complicated to work. Simple is powerful. Clarity leads to

focus and action. Action leads to results. You can be the most

positive leader, but optimism without action equals today’s

fantasy. Optimism plus clarity and action equals tomorrow’s

reality. Through love and accountability, clarity and action, and

a relentless drive to improve and succeed, positive leaders

transform their quest for excellence into a better future for all.

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Chapter 10

Positive Leaders Lead with Purpose

We don’t get burned out because of what we do.

We get burned out because we forget why we do it.

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T here will be days that you wake up and don’t feel verypositive. There will be times your culture doesn’t seem strong. There will be moments you don’t feel very positive

about the vision of where you are going. There will be meetings

where the energy vampires seem like they have the upper

hand. There will be conversations where you don’t feel like

communicating and connecting. There will be nights where

you wonder why you chose a leadership position at all. It’s

times like these where you need a purpose to give you

something to be positive about. Purpose fuels positivity and

is the reason why you overcome all the challenges and keep

moving forward. Purpose is why you wake up and want to

transform your team and organization and change the world.

Without a greater purpose, there’s no great desire. Every great

organization must have a greater purpose for why they exist

and every positive leader must be driven by purpose to lead

others and make a greater impact. Donna Orender, for exam­

ple, told me that her optimism to transform and improve the

PGA Tour and WNBA came from finding the greater purpose

that drives her motivation. Motivation doesn’t last, but purpose-

driven motivation does. Trying to lead without purpose is like

driving from New York to California on a half a tank of gas.

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You’ll be running on empty before you know it. But knowing,

remembering, and living your purpose is like having a series of

gas stations along the journey. You can fuel up and keep

moving forward.

People think that hard work is what makes us tired. Hard

work doesn’t make us tired. A lack of purpose is what makes

us tired. We don’t get burned out because of what do. We get

burned out because we forget why we do it. Research shows

that more people die Monday morning at 9 AM than any other

time. Think about it. People would rather die than go to work.

We live in a world where many are seeking happiness but

they are having trouble finding it. That’s because happiness

isn’t an outside job. It’s an inside job. It doesn’t come from the

work you do but rather from the meaning and purpose you

bring to your work. That’s why I want to encourage you not

to seek happiness. Live your passion and purpose, and

happiness will find you. Don’t chase success. Instead, decide

to make a difference with a greater purpose, and success will

find you.

Alan Mulally didn’t transform Ford just because he created

organizational unity and operational discipline, and because

everyone knew the plan, embraced the plan, and worked

toward the plan. He also transformed Ford because he inspired

everyone with a greater purpose. It was a purpose that inspired

Henry Ford from the very beginning, and it was to open the

highways to all of mankind. Alan simply had to remind every­

one in the company why they existed and then he had to live

with purpose, which he did in a big way, and inspire purpose in

others. Alan was also driven with purpose to make a significant

contribution to the world and, by saving Ford, an American

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icon, and saving tens of thousands of jobs and contributing to

the U.S. and global economies, he certainly did. As a leader you

need to know, remember, and live your why and inspire the

people on your team in your organization to do the same.

When you are driven with purpose you will inspire others to

drive with purpose.

Find and Live Your Purpose

It starts with you and your purpose as a leader. Why do you

lead? Why do you do the work you do? If you don’t have a

purpose you can’t share it. I wrote a book, The Seed, about

finding your purpose. Josh, the main character, doesn’t have a

purpose. He meets a farmer who gives him a seed and tells him

to find out where to plant the seed. When he finds the right

place, he will find his purpose. Josh goes on a journey to plant

his seed, ultimately learning that he needs to plant the seed

right where he is. He discovers that when you plant yourself

where you are and decide to make a difference and live with

purpose, your greater purpose starts to reveal itself to you.

Tamika Catchings didn’t become one of the all-time great

leaders and a WNBA basketball player simply because she

worked hard. She became one of the greatest because of her

great desire to inspire people and change the world through her

sport. Rhonda Revelle didn’t win more than 700 games as the

softball coach at Nebraska just because she pursued excel­

lence. She did it because she was driven with purpose to make

a difference in the lives of her players off and on the field. The

research shows that people are most energized when they are

using their strengths for a bigger purpose beyond themselves.13

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I can’t tell you what your purpose should be, but I can tell you

that every one of us can find a bigger purpose in the job we

have. I met a mortgage broker at a conference who told me that

her job is to save marriages. “How do you do that?” I asked,

wondering how this was possible as a mortgage broker. She

said during the great recession we found that if people lost their

homes their marriage was more likely to fall apart. “So I made it

my mission to help people find ways to keep their home so they

can keep their marriage intact.” It’s no surprise she was number

one in her company. I heard about a janitor who worked at

NASA and, even though he was sweeping floors, he felt his

bigger purpose was contributing to put a man on the moon. I

met a bus driver who knows his purpose was to help kids stay

off drugs. I met an administrative assistant who has become the

chief energy officer of her company. I met an Atlanta Airport

Popeye’s Chicken employee named Edith who makes thou­

sands of air travelers smile each day. I know my purpose is to

inspire and empower as many people as possible, one person

at a time. We are all just ordinary people with the power to live

an extraordinary purpose. In any job, your purpose waits for

you to find it and live it.

A friend of mine who is a human resources executive at a

children’s hospital told me that once a week she sits in the

lobby of the hospital to see the patients and their families and

remind herself why the work she does matters. If she didn’t, she

said, she would get lost in all of the paperwork, HR issues, and

distractions that seem far removed from the core mission of

helping to heal children. But by sitting in the lobby and

connecting to her purpose, she is able to do those mundane

tasks knowing she is contributing to the purpose of the hospital.

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Your job may not be your ultimate purpose, but through your

leadership you can use it to be a vehicle to share your greater

purpose. Most of all, remember that if you are a leader, you

have a purpose and it’s to inspire others to live theirs.

Share the Purpose

When I speak to leaders I encourage them to share a vision and

purpose in one statement. I believe they are stronger together.

The vision is where you are going. The purpose is why you are

going there. Together, they provide you with the fuel you need

on your journey. As a leader, one of the most important things

you can do is share and remind the people on your team and in

your organization of the greater purpose of why you exist. Why

are you here? What difference can you make? What legacy will

you leave? If vision is the North Star, purpose is the fuel that

powers you to follow it. Everyone needs a North Star and

everyone needs a bigger and greater purpose. Alan Mulally told

me he shared the vision and purpose before every meeting.

Steve Jobs may not have been big on positivity, but he was

driven with purpose and he shared that purpose with everyone

in Apple. The Pittsburgh Pirates told me their purpose is to help

their players become better men, and better men become better

baseball players. Everyone in the organization knows the

purpose and seeks to share it.

Inspire Others to Live Their Purpose

Sharing the purpose is important but it’s futile unless it

inspires purpose in others. As a leader, you want to share

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the organizational purpose with the purpose of inspiring

others to join the mission and be on a mission. You want to

let everyone know why your organization exists and why their

work matters. Many think they have to work at a homeless

shelter or go to Africa to make a difference. They think they

have to find meaning and purpose outside their work. And

while it’s wonderful if they want to volunteer for a charity or

feel called to go on a mission trip, as a leader you want to

remind your team that you don’t have to go on a mission trip to

be on a mission. You can bring your mission, passion, and

purpose to the work that you do each day. Tell your people

that you may not build libraries around the world, but you can

find the bigger purpose in reading to your children. You may

not feed the homeless every day, but you can nourish your

employees and customers with a smile, kind word, and care.

And while you may not start your own nonprofit organization,

you can begin a charity initiative at work. After all, charity

means “love in action.” You can make a difference every day

and touch the lives of everyone you meet. While these people

may not be starving because of a lack of food, you can provide

them with a different kind of nourishment that will feed their

souls and feed your own in the process.

Purpose-Driven Goals

One of the great ways I have discovered to help people to live

with purpose is to help them create purpose driven goals. For

example, for years I chose Organic Valley milk over other

brands in the supermarket. I had no idea why it appealed to me

until I spoke at their remote headquarters surrounded by acres

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of farmland in the middle of Wisconsin. I discovered a company

that didn’t believe in sales and revenue goals. Of course they

forecasted sales for budgetary, planning, and growth purposes,

and measured numbers and outcomes, but they did so with the

belief that numbers were just a byproduct of how well they

were living and sharing their purpose. Instead of focusing on

goals with numbers, Organic Valley passionately focused on

their purpose-driven goals: providing opportunities for farmers

to make a living; sustainability of the land; and providing

families with healthy dairy products that were free of hormones

and antibiotics. The result: Organic Valley’s numbers kept grow­

ing and growing. They had a mission people could taste.

While speaking to an NFL team a few years ago, I had each

player write their goals on a piece of paper. After a few minutes,

I had them rip up the paper they had just written on. (I was

inspired by my friend Joshua Medcalf’s book Burn Your Goals,

but didn’t want to be the guy known for causing a fire in an NFL

meeting room, so I had them rip up the paper instead.) You

could hear the complaints and feel their anger and frustration

while they ripped up the paper they had just spent time and

energy writing on. I then asked, “How many of you wrote down

win a Super Bowl, win x number of games, achieve x number

of yards, have x number of interceptions, etc.?”All the hands

went up. I told them that every person in every NFL meeting

room has the same goals. It’s not the goals that will make you

successful. Otherwise everyone and every team would be

successful after writing down their goals. Instead, it’s your

commitment to the process, your growth and your purpose

that drives you to reach these goals that will determine what

you accomplish. I then had them write down their

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commitments and purpose for playing and had them share with

the rest of the team. It was powerful.

The truth is that numbers and goals don’t drive people.

People with a purpose drive the numbers and achieve goals.

Research clearly shows that true motivation is driven by mean­

ing and purpose rather than extrinsic rewards, numbers, and

goals. A study of West Point alums showed that those who had

intrinsic goals, “I want to serve my country and make a

difference” outperformed those with extrinsic goals “I want

to rise in the ranks and become an officer because it’s prestigi­

ous.” Goals may motivate you in the short term but they will not

sustain you over time.14 Without a good reason to keep moving

forward during challenges, you either quit or go through the

motions.

Now this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t measure numbers or

have goals. You need to measure the numbers. In many cases

you need to have revenue targets. Numbers are to your

purpose what a scale and measuring tape are to a diet. It’s

in indicator of how you are doing. In the case of Ford, Alan

Mually had clear performance goals that were a key part of the

plan and process. Every organization wants to surpass last

year’s number. Every nonprofit wants to help more people.

Every school wants to empower more children. Every hospital

wants to reduce patient deaths and save more lives. It’s great to

have a goal you want to achieve, but once you identify a goal or

outcome, you will be more powerful and energized if you are

tapping into a bigger purpose in order to reach your numbers

and goals. Your greater purpose will lead to greater perform­

ance! Yes, count the fruit, but know it’s just a byproduct of how

well you are nurturing the root. Purpose-driven goals sell more

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milk, win more games, enhance performance, and lead to

outcomes that far surpass your numbered goals alone.

One Word

A powerful and practical way to live with purpose throughout

the year is to pick a word for the year that will inspire you to

live with more meaning and mission, passion and purpose.

My friends Dan Britton and Jimmy Page have been doing this

for over 20 years, and the words they choose each year have

shaped and inspired their lives in many ways. About six years

ago, they told me how each year they, along with their family

members, pick a word and, on New Year’s Eve, each member

of their family makes a painting of their word. They put the

paintings in the kitchen as a reminder to live their word. I

thought it was really powerful and started doing it as well with

my family, and then shared the idea with the various leaders

and teams I worked with. It was catalytic and life changing.

Leaders shared words with me like, “love” and “dream” and

“invest” and “go” and “execute” and “fearless” and “life” and

“relationships.” Dabo Swinney even said in the interview

immediately after winning the National Championship, “My

word all year was love and I told my team that their love for

each other was going to make the difference.” It’s an idea that

has taken off and now hundreds and thousands of leaders and

their teams pick a word each year to inspire them at work and

home. Hendrick Auto even created a one-word car in their

headquarters with all the words of all the employees on the

car. When employees walk into the building they see their

words and are reminded to live them. I’ve also had schools

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make one-word t-shirts and create one-world walls, and

businesses and hospitals post words in meeting rooms and

offices. When speaking about this idea, I ask people to pick a

word but also to identify why they choose it. It’s the why

behind the word that gives it meaning and makes it a power­

ful, purpose producer. It’s also a powerful exercise for leaders

to do with their teams. Imagine if you and everyone you work

with had a word for the year and truly lived it. How much

more powerful would you be? How much of a greater impact

would you make?

Life Word

In addition to choosing a word for the year I also encourage

leaders to select a Life Word. When the One Word concept

took off, Dan, Jimmy, and I, kept talking about ways to leave

a greater legacy. While engaged in a meaningful conversa­

tion one day, we asked each other, “What word would you

put on your tombstone?” We found it was a totally different

thought process than coming up with a yearly word. Dan

chose passion. Jimmy chose inspire. And I said positive

because I know it’s my life’s work and legacy. Then we

wondered what words would capture the essence and legacy

of some of history’s heroes. Perhaps Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Word would have been unity. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s,

equality. Mother Teresa’s compassion, Susan B. Anthony’s

vote. We realized that if we could help people identify their

Life Word, it would inspire them to live their highest pur­

pose and leave their greatest legacy. We have taken a bunch

of leaders through the process of finding a word for the year

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and a Life Word, and it has been exponentially purposeful

and powerful. Think of each yearly word as a chapter in a

book, and your Life Word as the book’s title. Together, they

help you define and write your life’s story and leave and

share your greatest legacy.

Leave a Legacy

Researchers conducted a study and they asked a group of 95­

year-olds if they could live their lives over again, what they

would do differently. The three things that almost all of them

said were:

1. They would reflect more. They would enjoy more

moments, more sunrises, more sunsets, more moments

of joy.

2. They would have taken more risks and chances. Life is

too short not to go for it.

3. They would have left a legacy, something that would

have lived on after they die.15

The most important legacies you will leave as a leader are

people and a world that have been impacted by your leader­

ship, life, and presence. To live a life of purpose, think about

how you want to be remembered. Think about what legacy you

want to leave, because knowing how you want to be remem­

bered helps you decide how to live and lead today.

Tim Tebow is a great example of someone who is living his

life to leave a legacy. He could just be enjoying his celebrity but

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instead he’s using his fame and life to make a difference in the

world through The Tim Tebow Foundation. Tebow told me that

when he was cut from the Broncos, Eagles, and Jets, he didn’t

let it shake him because his identity was rooted in something

much greater than being a football player. He knew his life’s

work wasn’t just to be a great athlete but also to be a game

changer in life, and a life changer for others. Most people know

him as a Heisman Trophy winner pursuing his dream of being

an NFL quarterback, but what they don’t know is that he’s

building greatness by providing orphans in four countries with

medicine, food, clothing, education, and housing. Through his

foundation, he builds Timmy’s Playrooms in children’s hospi­

tals, and provides medical care to countless children who can’t

afford it through his Tebow Cure Hospital in the Philippines.

His foundation also creates an unforgettable prom night expe­

rience, A Night to Shine, for teenagers with special needs. The

teenagers, who have to be 14 and older, walk into the event on

a red carpet while the crowd cheers as they enter the building.

Inside they are treated like kings and queens, with hair and

makeup stations, encouragement and love, and a fun night of

dancing! Tebow Time used to mean Tebow making plays on

the field to help his team win, but now it’s all about Tebow

using his time on earth to leave a legacy for others.

Give People Great Stories to Tell

Lisa Rose, the creator of First Fridays in Dallas, met a woman

named Deborah Lyons, who had created a program to help

women and children in abusive relationships to leave the

situation and become independent. Deborah had the program

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but needed the resources and a location to make it happen. So

Lisa recruited her husband Matt, the executive chairman of

BNSF Railway, to join her in this mission. Together they raised

enough money to build The Gatehouse, consisting of 96

luxurious apartments on 60 acres of land in Grapevine, Texas,

where they house, feed, encourage, mentor, counsel, and

invest in women and their children who are escaping abusive

situations. Residents, who are called members, have to work in

jobs outside the community while living there, as they learn to

provide for themselves, save money, and live independently.

The average stay is about two years. Lisa said it’s a place and a

program for permanent change. “Everything we do is designed

to provide them with a safe and comfortable place and then our

program is designed to help them grow and create permanent

change in their lives. It’s not a shelter. It’s a community. It’s not a

hand out. It’s a hand up.” I asked her if she modeled it after

another program and she said, “There was nothing like it, so we

had to create the model.” They don’t seek government funding.

They raise all the money from businesses and private donors.

When Lisa showed me around the community, the education

center, the chapel, the general store, the walking trails, and so on,

she shared how they were currently raising an endowment that

would help fund their yearly budget to ensure that The Gate-

house would continue long after she and Matt were gone. I was

blown away. They are not only investing their lives to help

people, but they are making sure they will still be making a

difference after their death. When I left The Gatehouse, humbled

by the experience, I couldn’t help but think of all the children and

future children living there and how, when they are older, they’ll

be telling their children stories about how Lisa, Matt, Deborah,

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and The Gatehouse changed the course of their lives. You won’t

live forever, but your impact on others lives on after you are

gone. You don’t have to build a physical community like Lisa,

Matt, and Deborah, but you can create a community wherever

you are. One’s legacy is carried on through love shared, lives

touched, and stories told. The people you lead will be telling

stories about you years from now. You can’t escape it. They will

be telling stories, so give people great stores to tell about you.

Life and Death

Nothing clarifies your purpose like a near-death experience. I

don’t recommend one, but it does work. A few years ago my

family and I were on a plane from LAX Los Angeles heading to

Atlanta. Shortly after taking off and soaring above 10,000 feet, the

plane abruptly slowed down and the power went out as the pilot

spoke over the sound system, “We’re experiencing a mechanical

failure and heading back for an emergency landing.” The next

moment the plane descended so rapidly that my head hurt and I

thought we were going down. I looked at my wife and son, who

were sitting to the left and a few rows back because we couldn’t

get seats together, and I saw the fear in my wife’s eyes. I grabbed

my daughter’s hand as she sat in the seat directly in front of me.

This can’t be happening, I thought. We’re not ready to die. I

still have three more books that I know I’m meant to write (this

being one of them). A few minutes later, the plane leveled off as

I watched off-duty airline employees, who were sitting in

passenger seats, get up and run to the back of the plane.

The pilot announced that we were going to make the emer­

gency landing and to brace for impact. He said there would be

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emergency vehicles there to meet us and that the flight attend­

ants were trained on what to do when we landed. While

everything seemed eerily calm and quiet, I couldn’t stop think­

ing about the plane catching on fire or splitting in two when we

landed. Miraculously and thankfully, we made a safe landing.

The pilot said there was a fire in one of the engines, so he

descended rapidly to extinguish the fire in the same way that

one breathes to blow out a candle.

When we walked off the plane, my 14-year-old son put his

arm around me and said, “God’s not done with us yet. It means

we have more work to do.” He was right. I left that experience

more inspired than ever to live my purpose and leave a legacy

with my life. I had more work to do and, if you are reading this,

so do you. As a leader, you have more people to inspire, help,

encourage, mentor, love, serve, and care for. You have more

teams to lead and more people to impact. You have a world to

change because the world needs a leader like you to change it.

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Chapter 11

Positive Leaders Have Grit

The number one predictor and factor of success

is not talent, title, wealth, or appearance. It is grit!

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A ngela Duckworth’s research at the University of Pennsyl­vania identifies grit as the number-one predictor and factor of success. It’s not talent, title, wealth, or good looks.

It’s grit, the ability to work hard for a long period of time

towards a goal; to persevere, overcome, and keep moving

forward in the face of adversity, failure, rejection, and obstacles.16

Success doesn’t happen overnight. Anything worthwhile takes

time to build. Along the way a leader will face countless

challenges, failures, and setbacks that will become roadblocks

unless they find a way forward. Positive leaders have grit and

find a way to navigate the roadblocks or run through them to

move closer to their vision and goal.

When we look at successful companies and organizations,

we see their current success and prominence but what we don’t

see is the leadership and grit that powered them through all the

failure and moments of doubt, heartache, fear, and pain. Every­

one would now like to be Kevin Plank, the CEO of Under

Armour, but I’m guessing they wouldn’t have wanted to be

him in 1995 when he was selling one product, a new high-

performance t-shirt, from the basement of his grandmother’s

home in Washington, DC, and financing his venture with a

$40,000 loan from his maxed-out credit cards. Everyone would

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love to enjoy the success Sara Blakely, the owner of Spanx, has

created, but I’m sure most wouldn’t want to sell fax machines

door to door at the age of 25, or go to North Carolina to visit most

of the hosiery mills in the country to try to sell an idea for a new

kind of undergarment. Most of us wouldn’t have continued after

being rejected by every representative. But she moved forward,

and eventually found a manufacturer who agreed to make her

product because her daughters thought it was a great idea. And

with a lot of grit, she was able to transform the pantyhose industry

and become the youngest self-made billionaire in history. Star-

bucks did not reach its fifth store until 13 years into its history.

Sam Walton did not open his second store until seven years after

starting his company. Pat Summitt, the legendary women’s

basketball coach at Tennessee, didn’t win her first championship

until her 13th year of coaching. Dabo Swinney and Clemson lost

15 of their first 34 games and went 6–7 in 2010. Dabo thought he

was going to be fired but Clemson’s athletic director at the time,

Terry Don Phillips, shared his continued belief in him. After that,

they won at least 10 games every year and a championship in

2016. And John Wooden didn’t win his first national title until his

16th season at UCLA.

Whether you are attempting to turn around a company, grow

a start-up, build a winning team, or move a successful organiza­

tion to the next level, you can expect it to take time and

perseverance. Duckworth says, “Grit is passion and persever­

ance for long-term goals.” I would add that it’s actually a mara­

thon and a series of sprints combined with a boxing match. You

are not just running but also getting hit along the way. Grit keeps

you moving forward through the sting of rejection, pain of

failure, and struggle with adversity. When life knocks you

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down, you may want to stay down and give up, but grit won’t let

you quit. This begs the question, “Why does grit keep you

moving forward? How does it work? If grit drives you, what

drives grit?”

Know What You Want

I believe true grit starts with knowing what you truly want.

When you know what you want and you can see it, you will

work hard and persevere in order to achieve it. That’s why

having a vision for the road ahead is so important. That’s why

we discussed the importance of a leader carrying a telescope

and microscope with them. When the world doesn’t see what

you see and they think you are crazy for seeing it, your vision of

what you want and the grit to keep going must be greater than

all the negativity and naysayers. Sara Blakely said that she must

have gotten hundreds of NO’s along the way, but that didn’t

stop her. She knew what she wanted to create, believed in it,

and kept working until people finally saw what she saw and

understood her brilliant idea.

Know Your Why

In the last chapter we discussed the power of purpose. Well, it

not only fuels positivity, but it also drives grit in a big way.

When you know your why, you won’t let obstacles get in your

way. When your purpose is greater than your challenges, you

won’t give up. My dad was a New York City police officer. Each

day he left the house, my mom feared that he wouldn’t come

home. He risked his life every day. Why? Was it the paycheck?

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Not at all. He didn’t make much but he worked for a bigger

purpose. When crime and my mom made him want to quit, he

wouldn’t. He had a duty and a purpose to make New York a

safer place, and that kept him going.

Love It

If you don’t love it, you’ll never be great at it. If you don’t love it,

you won’t work to overcome all the challenges to keep doing it.

If you love what you do, you won’t quit when the world says

you should. You will continue to show up every day, do the

work, and discover that success is not created by other people’s

opinions. It’s not created by what the media and fearful news

says. It’s not created by any of the circumstances outside you.

It’s created by the love you have inside you—love for what you

do, for your team, for the organization you serve, and for the

world you want to change. The love and grit that you possess

on the inside will create the life you experience on the outside.

Love powers grit, and it also powers you over fear. I’ve

heard it said that fear is the second most powerful force in the

universe because it’s the one thing that can keep us from our

vision, goals, and dreams. Thankfully, there’s a force more

powerful than fear, and it is love. People think that fear is strong

and love is weak, but love is more powerful than fear. We don’t

run into burning buildings because of fear. We do it because of

love. Love is the antidote to fear. Love casts out fear so where

there is love, fear dissipates. When I speak to leaders, coaches,

and athletes, I encourage them to focus on the love of their

work, craft, and competition instead of their fear of failing. Fear

is draining, but love is sustaining. Fear causes you to worry

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about what everyone will think if you fail. Love moves you to

give your best and not worry about the rest. A field-goal kicker I

know in the NFL was struggling during his second year after

having a phenomenal rookie season. I reached out to him and

asked what was going on. He said he was thinking too much. I

said tell me about your rookie season. He said he was just

thrilled to be in the NFL. He was living his dream and loving

kicking. I said tell me about this year. He said he missed a few

kicks in the pre-season and started to worry about missing. He

didn’t want to let the coach and team down. He didn’t want to

lose his job. I knew this problem well. Many people think that

the more success you have, the less fear you have but, actually,

it often works the other way. The more success you have, the

more fear you have because you have more to lose and further

to fall. I encouraged the field-goal kicker to get back to just

loving the game, loving kicking, and loving the process. I told

him to look inside, not outside. Just kick. Don’t think. Just love

it, don’t fear it. He listened, was able to return to love, and had a

great rest of the season. It wasn’t me. I just reminded him what

he already knew. I helped him to love it and, if you love it, you

won’t fear it. Most of all, if you love the process, you’ll love what

the process produces.

Embrace Failure

A big part of positive leadership and grit is knowing that you will

fail along the way but you don’t allow failure to define you or stop

you. Failure is a big part of your path to success. It’s not your

enemy. It is your partner in growth. It doesn’t define you; it refines

you. If you didn’t fail, you wouldn’t build the character you need

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to succeed. When you have grit, you fail and you move forward.

You see it as an event, not a definition. You leave the past and let it

go. The path to greatness is never behind you. Just keep moving

forward. Failure and challenges are just part of the journey.

There’s no accomplishment without struggle. No triumph with­

out tests and failures along the way. There would be no stories of

positive leaders changing the world if they didn’t have to over­

come adversity and failure in order to do so. So the next time you

fail, remember that George Washington lost two thirds of all the

battles he fought but won the Revolutionary War. Abraham

Lincoln suffered nine election defeats, the death of a spouse, a

nervous breakdown, and two bankruptcies before becoming

President of the United States. Oprah was told she wasn’t fit for

television and was fired from her job as a news anchor. Walt

Disney was fired from a newspaper job for a lack of ideas. Dr.

Seuss wanted to burn the manuscript of his first book after it was

rejected by 27 publishers. Steven Spielberg wasn’t accepted to

UCLA film school because of average grades. Phil Knight was on

the brink of bankruptcy with Nike for over 10 years and routinely

didn’t know if the company could make payroll. Steve Jobs was

fired from Apple at age 30, and the list goes on. You have to be

willing to fail in order to succeed.

Keep Doing Things the Right Way: Trust

the Process

David Cutcliffe, the head football coach at Duke, told me that

when the team’s record was 3–9 in 2010 and 2011 he felt

optimistic because he knew what he was building and knew

that they were doing things the right way. Then from 2012 to

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2015 Duke made it to three straight postseason bowl games.

I’ve had similar conversations with my friends and college

lacrosse coaches John Tillman (Maryland), Jeff Tambroni

(Penn State), Kevin Corrigan (Notre Dame), and Nick Myers

(Ohio State). All of them have taken over programs and had to

build them. The common denominator is to keep doing things

the right way, even when the results aren’t showing up yet.

Don’t focus on the numbers. Trust the process. When you keep

doing things the right way, eventually the numbers will rise, the

wins will come, and the outcome will happen.

Ignore the Critics; Do the Work

Positive leaders don’t lead because they want recognition or

enemies. They lead because there is something they must do,

build, create, transform, and change. They lead because it’s

who they are and what they are meant to do. However, with

leadership comes scrutiny, praise, critics, and attacks. A leader

could find a cure for cancer and would still have some people

criticize them for it. There was even once a leader who trans­

formed the world by feeding the hungry, healing the sick, and

loving the unlovable, and yet he was killed for it. If you are a

leader, expect to be attacked. Positive leadership doesn’t mean

you won’t be criticized. It means you have the grit and belief to

overcome it. Positive leaders don’t lead in a tranquil sea of

positivity, but through the storms of adversity and negativity.

Leadership is knowing that the critics will criticize you while still

saying what needs to be said and doing what needs to be done.

History doesn't remember the critic. It remembers the one who

withstood criticism to accomplish something great.

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In our modern social-media–driven world, you will have

more fans and critics than ever. The keys are: Don’t let praise go

to your head and don’t let critics into your head. Be so invested in

your craft that you don’t have time to listen to the naysayers. No

time for negativity. You’re too busy creating the future. If I would

have listened to the naysayers and critics, I would have stopped

working on my craft years ago. I want to encourage you to never

let the opinion of others define you and your future. Your iden­

tity doesn’t come from what the world says about you. It comes

from who you are on the inside. Your work, leadership, and

mission are too important to allow others to define your destiny.

No matter what anyone says, just show up and do the work.

If they praise you, show up and do the work.

If they criticize you, show up and do the work.

If no one even notices you, just show up and do the work.

Just keep showing up, doing the work, and leading the way.

Lead with passion.

Fuel up with optimism.

Have faith.

Power up with love.

Maintain hope.

Be stubborn.

Fight the good fight.

Refuse to give up.

Ignore the critics.

Believe in the impossible.

Show up.

Do the work.

You’ll be glad you did.

True grit leads to true success.

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Chapter 12

Lead the Way Forward

The best is yet to come.

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I n this book I’ve shared stories of positive leaders who havetransformed their teams and organizations and changed the world. I’ve also shared examples of positive leaders who are

changing the world as we speak. In a world where there seems

to be more negativity than ever, what gives me hope is that

every week I meet and hear from new and emerging positive

leaders. They remind me that we don’t have to settle for the

status quo and allow negative situations and circumstances to

continue and exist. We don’t have to be stuck in a negative rut.

We don’t have to allow negativity to rule our lives and our

teams. Today we can decide to address problems, find solu­

tions, and find a way forward. I don’t know how old you are,

where you are from, or anything about your career, experience,

title, challenges, or how many people you lead, but I do know

that today you can be the positive leader you were born to be.

People often ask me if leadership is nature or nurture. Are you

born a leader or can you develop into a leader? I believe you

have everything you need inside you to be a positive leader.

Life and circumstances don’t make you into a leader. They

reveal the leader you already are.

You don’t have to change jobs to be a positive leader. You

can be like Tanya Walters, who was a school bus driver in Los

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Angeles. I met her while speaking in California. One day, after

realizing that most of her students were failing in school, Tanya

decided to challenge them to do better. She challenged them to

study harder, focus more, and improve their grades. When they

succeeded, she took them on a marine biology cruise, which

led to the idea of a summer bus trip around the country. The

purpose was to expose children to a world and life beyond the

toughest streets in Los Angeles. She succeeded and now, many

trips later, her non-profit, GodParents Youth Organization, has

evolved into a powerful mentoring and touring program that

takes children to colleges and historical sites around the coun­

try. It was even featured on Oprah. Tanya could have just

continued driving the bus and ignored the challenges her

students were facing. Instead, she chose to commit her life

and work to showing them the world, and she’s changing lives

in the process. She chose to be a driver of positive change and

instead of letting the world influence her, she’s a positive leader

who is influencing the world.

You can also be like Ursula, who was a pharmacy tech for a

large drugstore chain. She told me she was a single mom who

had been through a lot of hardships in her life but prided herself

on her passion for her job. However, after transferring to the

roughest store in the city, her passion quickly fizzled as she

dealt with all the difficult customers and negativity in the

pharmacy. She was ready to throw in the towel, but didn’t

want to leave a job she loved. After reading a few of my books,

she decided her purpose was “To provide selfless service to her

coworkers and customers and to make it a fun and uplifting

environment.” She said she brought in a huge pot of queso dip

just because it was so good and everyone loved it. Then she and

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her team started listening to upbeat music and the atmo­

sphere—as well as everyone’s attitudes—changed instantly.

She said, “It was so fun! The difficult customers I used to dread

serving are now opportunities for me to shine. My goal is to

make sure they leave my presence with a smile on their face. I

help my coworkers at every chance I get and I make sure I try to

lift them up with encouragement and compliments. I even

leave little gifts for them, like a compliment on a sticky note for

the new guy or a little picked flower for another single mom. I

am loving my job again, I’m living in the moment, and my

passion is back!” Ursula didn’t need to change her job. She just

needed to change her attitude, and in the process she changed

everyone around her.

You don’t have to continue living life in a negative rut. You

can be like me and so many of the people I have met who have

gone from negative to positive. My friend Rachel, for example,

wouldn’t stop complaining to me at a party. For 20 minutes she

bombarded me with a series of complaints. She complained

about her job. She complained about her company’s new

policies. She complained about the economy. Most of all she

complained about her lack of sales. I wanted to say something

but I couldn’t get a word in. Finally I stopped her and told her

she had a choice. “You can accept your company’s new

policies, come to work with a positive attitude, and decide

to be your best every day or you can find a new job at a new

company. But whatever you do, stop complaining because it’s

not doing you any good.” The conversation was over and so

was our friendship, I thought, because Rachel wouldn’t speak

to me for a few months. Then my wife and I saw her at the

grocery store and she told me that while it was hard to hear

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what I had to say, she had decided to take my advice. She

stayed in her job, stopped complaining, and started selling

more. Three months after changing her attitude, her sales were

up 30 percent. A year later, her sales were up 70 percent. Three

years after our initial conversation, I caught up with Rachel

again. We hadn’t spoken in a long time and I was wondering

how she was doing. Rachel told me that during the last two

years her sales continued to grow. She has been promoted

twice and is now in her dream job, leading a division at her

company. It’s the job she always wanted and she’s more excited

and passionate than ever about her work. Rachel stopped

whining and started winning!

Andy Green was a young third-base coach for the Arizona

Diamondbacks, but because of the way he invested in relation­

ships with his players, worked hard, served others, and led with

optimism and belief, he caught the eye of the owners and

general managers of other teams and was hired to be the

manager of the San Diego Padres. Andy said he wasn’t always

about other people. As a young baseball player, he was all

about his own career advancement, but after being released by

the Cincinnati Reds, he told his wife that if he ever got the

opportunity to play Major League Baseball again, it would be

about others and not himself. He got another shot to play in

the big leagues with the Mets and he became a leader in the

clubhouse and eventually a minor league manager, where he

won back-to-back Manager of the Year awards before joining

the Diamondbacks as a coach. Andy’s career highlight wasn’t

his major-league debut or game-winning home run, but rather

knocking on one of his minor league players’ hotel room

door at one o’clock in the morning and telling him that he

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was going to the big leagues for the first time. The player cried

like a baby, Andy hugged him and years later Andy said so far

he hasn’t had a better highlight than that. I spoke to Andy’s team

last year and his players told me he’s genuine, caring, selfless,

and always looking for ways to help them improve in baseball

and life. He’s a positive leader who decided to make a differ­

ence wherever he was and, as a result, he’s now leading at the

highest level of his profession. I’ve worked with countless

coaches who have been hired, promoted, and built great

careers and teams because of their positive leadership. Some

were already positive leaders. Some became positive leaders

and it made all the difference.

While you don’t have to leave your job to be a positive

leader, for some people it does require a change in location,

career, and calling. You may have to leave the old behind in

order to create the new. Niki Spears was a principal of a school

in Fort Bend when she reached out to me and said she wanted

to take The Energy Bus message to schools around the world

and create an Energy Bus for Schools program. Over the years I

have had a number of people approach me about this idea, but

once they realized the commitment it would take to make it

happen, their enthusiasm gave way to reality and they decided

against moving forward. I wanted to see it happen because I

had a vision for it but knew it would take the right person.

When Niki approached me I thought she would be like the

others and fade away, but she didn’t. She shared the same

vision and was so committed to it that she left her job as a

principal with no guarantee of success or a salary, and has since

created a movement of Energy Bus Schools that are trans­

forming negativity in schools and helping develop positive

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leaders for the future. I’ve watched her grow from a principal of

one school to now a leader of leaders who is helping tens of

thousands of educators and students improve and grow. She

tapped into the power of positive leadership and now she’s

transforming the lives of principals, teachers, students, and their

families. She’s still an educator. She’s just educating many

schools and classrooms instead of one.

You may have to leave everything behind to become the

leader you are meant to be. You may be like Scott Harrison,

who was a night club promoter, drank heavily, smoked two

packs of cigarettes a day, often woke up hungover, and was

one of the top club promoters in New York City. Scott was at the

top of his game, but one day he realized he was playing the

wrong game. He didn’t want to rally people to meet at bars. He

wanted to unite people to make a difference. That ultimately

led to visits to Africa, where he discovered that each day 1,400

children die from diseases caused by unsafe water and poor

sanitation. Scott learned that women and children will walk

miles, sometimes taking half a day, to find drinking water when

there’s fresh, clean water available in the ground right under

their feet in their village. All that’s needed is a well to extract the

water and the funds to install it. Scott created Charity Water to

fill this need, and he started rallying many of his friends he met

through his years promoting nightclubs. Early on, Scott was

having trouble raising money to keep the non-profit running,

and he refused to use money he had raised to install water wells

on operations. He was a few weeks away from closing down

Charity Water when a donor gave him a million dollars to keep it

going for another year. Scott said that at the time he thought the

money was what kept him going but, looking back, he realizes it

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was the belief. Now, years later, instead of watching people get

drunk, he’s providing people around the world with water to

drink—and saving lives and transforming communities in the

process. To date, Charity Water has helped provide 7 million

people with clean drinking water and continues to help provide

water to 2,700 new people every day.

Yes, there’s a lot of negativity in the world. Yes, there are

many problems that haven’t been solved yet. But instead of

focusing on all that’s wrong, you can realize that this is your

time to make things right. With all the negativity in the world,

what a great opportunity you have to be a positive leader and

influencer. With all the technology and resources, there’s

never been a better time to make a positive difference.

When Alan Mulally was contemplating becoming the CEO

of Ford, despite all the extreme challenges the company was

facing, he did his homework and knew all the daunting tasks

that lie ahead, but he didn’t run from it. When writing notes to

himself about the prospect of becoming the CEO of Ford and

turning it around, he wrote, “Wow. What fun!” He knew it

was a big problem that only a great leader could solve and

he was up to the task to try.

Your circumstances might be difficult and daunting and so

were Austin Hatch’s. He was a rising star in Fort Wayne,

Indiana, with a scholarship to play basketball at Michigan

when, while flying with his dad and stepmother on a private

plane, the plane crashed. His father and stepmother were both

killed and Austin suffered life-threatening injuries and brain

trauma. He was in a coma for a month. It was a horrible

tragedy made worse by the fact that Austin had lost his mother

and two siblings in another crash that he and his father had

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survived years before. Austin has the rare distinction of being

someone who has survived two plane crashes. The odds of this

happening are 11 quadrillion, 5 trillion to one. Yet as miracu­

lous as this was, the doctors believe it was even more miracu­

lous that Austin not only walked again but graduated high

school, attended Michigan, and joined the basketball team,

which honored his scholarship. Austin can’t play like he used

to, but his leadership is a huge asset to his coach and Michigan

teammates. While talking to Austin on the phone recently, he

told me about not letting circumstances define him. He said he

made a decision in the hospital while trying to walk again that

he would do whatever it took to walk out of that hospital. He

said he wanted to be a miracle for others. He said, “My life is

only a miracle if I can be a miracle to others.” And now, as a

sophomore at Michigan, he’s finding time between studying

and basketball to share and inspire others with his message.

He’s living to be a miracle for others and so can you.

Nick called me a few days ago. He’s a young man in the

insurance business. We’ve actually never met. I spoke to his

company’s leadership last year and his boss told me about him

and how he was struggling, and I said I would call and

encourage him. I called him and he was a really nice young

man just going through a lot of internal struggles. I had him read

one of my books and then said we would talk about what he

had learned. We did this once a month for a few months and

then I didn’t hear from him for a while. When he called me the

other day out of the blue he told me about the holidays and

how his positive attitude had helped him have a great time with

his family. He said where there used to be strife with his siblings

there was now meaningful conversation and connection. He

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said because he had changed, everything around him seemed

to change, including his career, which is thriving. Most signifi­

cant of all, Nick told me that his best friend’s dad had died, but

because Nick had grown as a leader, he was able to be there for

his friend and help him through this difficult time. “That would

never have happened last year,” he said. “I would have fallen

apart and everyone would have had to help me. But now I was

able to help him.” Nick was able to be a miracle to his friend and

family.

That’s how it works. Your one decision to be a positive

leader will not only impact your life, but your relationships,

your family, your friends, and your team. A life touches a life

that touches a life. A person changes and they help others

change. A leader inspires others and develops more leaders.

The seed you plant today becomes the harvest you enjoy

tomorrow. You may not see the harvest but don’t let that

stop you from planting the seeds. There are seeds to plant,

lives to change, teams to transform, problems to solve, and a

world to change. When you become a positive leader, you will

not only make yourself better, but you will also make everyone

around you better—and that’s a great place to start!

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BNOTES 03/30/2017 1:21:54 Page 189

Notes

1. Puri, M. & Robinson, D. (2007). Optimism and economic

choice. Journal of Financial Economics, 86, 71-99.

2. Seligman, M.E. & Schulman, P. (1986). Explanatory style as

a predictor of productivity and quitting among life insur­

ance sales agents. Journal of Personality and Social Psy­

chology, 50(4), 832–838.

3. Fredrickson, B. (2001). The role of positive emotions in

positive psychology: The broaden-and-build theory of

positive emotions. American Psychologist, 56, 218-226.

4. Goleman, D. (2011). Leadership: The power of emotional

intelligence. Florence, MA: More Than Sound Publishers.

5. Gottman, J. (1994). Why marriages succeed or fail. New

York, NY: Simon & Schuster.

6. Baker, W., Cross, R., & Wooten, M. (2003). Positive organi­

zational network analysis and energizing relationships. In J.

Cameron, J.E. Dutton, & R. Quinn (Eds.), Positive Organi­

zational Scholarship: Foundations of a New Discipline

(pp. 328-342). San Francisco, CA: Berrett-Koehler Pub­

lishers, Inc.

7. McCraty, R., Atkinson, M., Tomasino, D., & Tiller, W.

(1998). The electricity of touch: Detection and measure­

ment of cardiac energy exchange between people. In Karl

H. Pribram (Eds.), Brain Values: Is a Biological Science of

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Values Possible? Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associ­

ates, 359-379.

8. Fowler, J. & Christakis, N. (2008). Dynamic spread of

happiness in a large social network: Longitudinal analysis

over 20 years in the Framingham Heart Study. British

Medical Journal, 337(no. a2338), 1-9.

9. Croft, A., Dunn, E., & Quoidbach, J. (2014). From tribula­

tions to appreciation: Experiencing adversity in the past

predicts greater savoring in the present. Social Psychologi­

cal and Personality Science, 5(5), 511-516.

10. Reptilian coping brain. (2017). Retrieved from http://www.

copingskills4kids.net/Reptilian_Coping_Brain.html

11. Rowland, K. A. (2008). The relationship of principal lead­

ership and teacher morale. (Doctoral dissertation).

Retrieved from ProQuest.

12. Cocksedge, S., George, B., Renwick, S., & Chew-Graham,

C.A. (2013). Touch in primary care consultations: Qualita­

tive investigation of doctors’ and patients’ perceptions. The

British Journal of General Practice, 63(609), 283–290.

13. Rath, Tom (2007). Strengths Finder 2.0. Gallup Press.

14. Wrzesniewski, A., Schwartz, B., Cong, X., Kane, M., Omar,

A., & Kolditz, T. (2014). Multiple types of motives don’t

multiply the motivation of West Point cadets. Proceedings of

the National Academy of Sciences, 111(30), 10990–10995.

15. Campolo, T. (2008). Letters to a young evangelical. Basic

Books.

16. Duckworth, A. & Peterson, C. (2007). Grit: Perseverance

and passion for long-term goals. Journal of Personality and

Social Psychology, 92(6), 1087-1101.

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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Every book I’ve written has taken four weeks or less to write

and I don’t take credit for that. I’m thankful to God for the

inspiration, ideas, ability, and wisdom to write books. I’m

thankful for my wife, Kathryn, and her continued support

and belief. I appreciate Ken Blanchard for being a mentor

and a role model for me. He and his mentor Norman Vincent

Peale were the pioneers of the Power of Positive Leadership.

Thank you to Daniel Decker for being a great friend, business

partner, and team member. Thank you to Shannon Vargo and

Matt Holt at John Wiley and Sons for taking a chance on me and

The Energy Bus years ago. It’s been an amazing ride. Thanks to

Elizabeth Gildea, Deborah Schindlar, and Peter Knox for your

help getting the book published and promoted. Thank you to

Patrick Lencioni, Jeff Gibson, and Amy Hiett for introducing me

to Alan Mulally. Thank you to Alan Mulally for your incredible

example, wisdom, and insights regarding Positive Leadership. I

feel like I earned an MBA from our conversation. Thank you to

Dabo Swinney for your friendship and opportunity to work

with Clemson football over the years. It’s been an incredible,

meaningful, rewarding, and spiritual journey. I’ve learned so

much from you. Thank you to Doug Conant, Dave Roberts,

Donna Orender, Shawn Eichorst, Sandy Barbour, Mike Smith,

Carl Liebert, Cori Close, Brendan Suhr, Billy Donovan, Doc

Rivers, Kevin Eastman, Sherri Coale, Erik Spoelstra, John

191

BACK 03/30/2017 0:39:11 Page 192

Calipari, Mark Richt, Clint Hurdle, Kyle Stark, Butch Jones, Tara

VanDerveer, Andy Green, Drew Watkins, Rick Hendrick, John

Desmond, Chad Knaus, Boo Corrigan, David Cutcliffe, John

Tillman, Jeff Tambroni, Chip Kelly, Gus Bradley, Buzz Williams,

Chad Morris, Christine Halfpenny, Rhonda Revelle, and George

Raveling for the opportunity to work with your teams, learn

from you, and see Positive Leadership in action. Thank you to

Jim Van Allan for your help with research. Thank you to Joshua

Medcalf for challenging me to make the book better. Thank you

to my brother David Gordon for your input and ideas. Thank

you to Kate Leavell, Julie Nee, Amy Kelly, Brett Hughes, Anne

Carlson, and Brooke Trabert for reading the book and offering

feedback. Thank you to all the great leaders and companies

who give me the opportunity to work with your organizations

and teams. Thank you to all the positive leaders who make

everyone around them better. Together we will change the

world!

192

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

BLAST 03/30/2017 0:43:42 Page 193

Bring the Power of Positive Leadership to Your Organization

Visit www.PowerofPositiveLeadership.com

or call 904-285-6842 for more information.

193

BLAST01 03/30/2017 0:49:26 Page 194

Power of Positive Leadership Resources

Visit www.PowerofPositiveLeadership.com for:

Action Plans

Posters

Video Program

Training

If you are interested in contacting Jon Gordon and his team,

please contact The Jon Gordon Companies at:

Phone: 904-285-6842

E-email: [email protected]

Online: JonGordon.com

Twitter: @JonGordon11

Facebook: Facebook.com/JonGordonpage

Instagram: JonGordon11

Sign up for Jon’s weekly positive tip at: JonGordon.com.

194

WEBBLAST02 03/30/2017 17:11:35 Page 195

Other Books by Jon Gordon

The Energy Bus

A man whose life and career are in shambles

learns from a unique bus driver and set of

passengers how to overcome adversity.

Enjoy this enlightening ride of positive

energy that is improving the way leaders

lead, employees work, and teams function.

www.TheEnergyBus.com

The Energy Bus for Kids

This illustrated children’s adaptation of the

bestselling book The Energy Bus tells the

story of George, who, with the help of his

school bus driver Joy, learns that if he believes

in himself, he’ll find the strength to overcome

any challenge. His journey teaches kids how

to overcome negativity, bullies, and everyday

challenges to be their best.

www.EnergyBusKids.com

The No Complaining Rule

Follow a VP of human resources who must

save herself and her company from ruin, and

discover proven principles and an actionable

plan to win the battle against individual and

organizational negativity.

www.NoComplainingRule.com

195

WEBBLAST02 03/30/2017 17:11:35 Page 196

Training Camp

This inspirational story about a small guy

with a big heart and a special coach who

guides him on a quest for excellence

reveals the eleven winning habits that sep­

arate the best individuals and teams from

the rest.

www.TrainingCamp11.com

The Shark and the Goldfish

Delightfully illustrated, this quick read

is packed with tips and strategies for

responding to challenges beyond your

control in order to thrive during waves

of change.

www.SharkandGoldfish.com

Soup

The newly anointed CEO of a popular soup

company is brought in to reinvigorate the

brand and bring success back to a company

that has fallen on hard times. Through her

journey, discover the key ingredients to

unite, engage, and inspire teams and create

a culture of greatness.

www.Soup11.com

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Other Books by Jon Gordon

WEBBLAST02 03/30/2017 17:11:35 Page 197

The Seed

Go on a quest for the meaning and passion

behind work with Josh, an up-and-comer at

his company who is disenchanted with his

job. Through Josh’s cross-country journey,

you’ll find surprising new sources of wisdom

and inspiration in your own business and life.

www.Seed11.com

The Positive Dog

We all have two dogs inside of us. One dog is

positive, happy, optimistic, and hopeful. The

other dog is negative, mad, pessimistic, and

fearful. These two dogs often fight inside us,

but guess who wins the fight? The one you

feed the most. The Positive Dog is an inspiring

story that not only reveals the strategies and

benefits of being positive but also highlights an essential truth for

humans: Being positive doesn’t just make you better. It makes

everyone around you better.

www.feedthepositivedog.com

The Carpenter

The Carpenter is Jon Gordon’s most inspir­

ing book yet — filled with powerful lessons

and the greatest success strategies of all.

Michael wakes up in the hospital with a

bandage on his head and fear in his heart,

after collapsing while on a morning jog.

When Michael finds out the man who saved

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WEBBLAST02 03/30/2017 17:11:36 Page 198

his life is a Carpenter, he visits him and quickly learns that he is

more than just a Carpenter; he is also a builder of lives, careers,

people, and teams. In this journey, you will learn the timeless

principles to help you stand out, excel, and make an impact on

people and the world.

www.carpenter11.com

The Hard Hat

A true story about Cornell lacrosse player

George Boiardi, The Hard Hat is an

unforgettable book about a selfless, loyal,

joyful, hard-working, competitive, and com­

passionate leader and teammate, the impact

he had on his team and program, and the

lessons we can learn from him. This inspira­

tional story will help you discover how to be

the best teammate you can be and how to build a great team.

www.hardhat21.com

You Win in the Locker Room First:

The 7 C’s to Build a Winning Team in

Business, Sports, and Life

Based on the extraordinary experiences of

NFL Coach Mike Smith and leadership

expert Jon Gordon, You Win in the Locker

Room First offers a rare, behind-the-scenes

look at one of the most pressure-packed

leadership jobs on the planet and what

leaders can learn from these experiences in order to build their

own winning team.

wininthelockerroom.com

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Other Books by Jon Gordon

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