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Jill Hartney 

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In today's society, we see child receiving trophies for everything, even for just participating. I have seen first hand what this does to our children. My kids, when they were growing up played softball and baseball. At the end of every season, they would each get a trophy for partition playing a team sport. While I think this is good in some aspects, it is detrimental to them. The parts that are good, is the fact they learned to play as a team whether they played ball well or not as well as the sacrifice of time they took for making it to the game and practices. Those kinds of things deserved a pat on the back but not a trophy. Competition is good but not everyone will win first place. The parents feel that their child is special and deserves a trophy when in reality, it is not teaching them to cope with life's ups and downs nor is it teaching them that they have value or worth. Dr. Dobson (2015) states that with proper use of parental influence and direction, we can provide our children the inner strength necessary to survive the obstacles they will face (Dobson, 2015, p. 28). In scripture, Philippians 1:6 (NIV) says, Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. When we remind them of this, they will know they have value and worth. We also have the duty to instill in them that they are fearfully and wonderfully made as told to us in Psalm 139:14. If we hold true to the fact that the Lord does not make mistakes, and we instill in our children this, then this can boost their confidence in who they are. We should also show them that we make mistakes as a parent as well. We are not perfect and they are not expected to be either.  One key foundational aspect of giving our children confidence is to remember that although man judges the outward appearance, God looks at the heart. We should focus on creating atmospheres or households that hold true to that piece of scripture. We also need to check ourselves and our own personal feelings about our children (Dobson, 2015, p. 76). If our child senses the way you see him/her as a failure or disappointment, then their self esteem will be that way. The opposite is also true. If we see them as someone who strives to do their best, then they will ultimately feel better about themselves.  Reference:

Dobson, J.C. (2015). Building confidence in your child. Grand Rapids, MI: Revell

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