Help Needed

Awesome all right guys well good to see everybody this week how's everybody doing pretty

good alright I can pick it all up and start it off and maybe we can just do the same for me always

like this not a big deal And she said she was pretty good with everything that we came up so

she can be welcomed her we all did a pretty good job about that I think we did and then after we

did that we did the the dissection where we could complete the sentence when I entered it

always talk about how we feel when we meet people for the first time the new group how we

feel how we respond how we reacted all that and then we play a game with the selection from

the whole list of questions and we actually wanted to pick and just give an answer and then

explain why the why they selected and why they give the answer the freaking and I think it was

a pretty good experience at the open up a lot of avenues of getting to know each other and then

we ended the session regardless of the fact that we were over I distinctly remember nevue

station by process questions to answer out loud how do you think today went so weak today

right. How you guys be call the spot that last session having gone and how do you think the

ungame contributed to a group's development let us know kind of where we are simply feels like

my rib pick the ones that she picked and then she was like I was the one that was the most be

able to share a little bit deeper in but she was able to identify that explanation as to why and

stuff then where it says for buying process observations to show support your answer going

back to the universality of everything we've gone through our vents are life-altering events

togetherness you know the information about our families that we were able to identify so I think

that was another process that it came through I think I definitely was the one that was mostly

bag like I explained because I usually go on attendant and we were a little like punching it and I

didn't want to go into today I do have a commitment with you guys to go deep though hold on to

your through it it is pretty much I got to know you guys a little better through all the questions so

that was pretty cool did you guys think it was it was easy challenging or whatever you thought

you said he find information about yourself with each one of us what are you up to how did you

feel like the rest of us reacted for your information as far as mine I think the only one was with

my niece and the divorce situation and stuff I looked in my heart and I was able to make it

through saying what was going on with that baby and easy to be vulnerable but all the other

ones were I was a bit challenged when I was trying to identify what others think of me when they

first meet me because I couldn't find the right words or describe the feelings are like that so

overall it was good but I found that to be challenging I felt it a little challenging because I was

still getting to know everyone so yeah in the right words not sure if it was just I was off my game

that day but another challenging part was definitely when I when I actually spoke about how I

identified with Dorothy and Sylvia and Dean on the group Abingdon my mom was not really in

my life until I was already an adult so and that case it was like I didn't get to share that much

stuff with them I think for me I felt like the does a lot of universality like John shared like in times

of like especially in times of you know when when she's saying she could identify with me or me

I could identify with losing a parent it made me feel a little better to share that part about myself

because it made me know that there's somebody else in the group who also has had the same

experience so it wasn't as challenging it was I would say I don't know when was it made it easier

to talk about that because that some pots for the for the game came later after we had kind of

so that's why I'm saying it wasn't as challenging but I still got to have the same as I did last week

like it was an in-between all right well I think that I'm going to say about 2 minutes to finish. Was

that we were we were on the verge of countertransference identify with Sylvia a lot like hey

guess what my mom's name was Sylvia in my mom's name is Sophia so that was something to

process like Beyond you know like Past ending time and then coming in today so I don't know

how to get feels about that and maybe down the line or something else but a summary for last

week and yes and that the second part is the Timeline Activity we're going to create a timeline to

this about 10 minutes and we will share this exercise group members will create a timeline that

identifies five events that have happened over there life that have had an impact on who they

are today at the moment I think back over your life and identify five moments or event that had

an impact on whom you have become And the world today and brought you to the point that you

are at now on a piece of paper draw a line across the paper and explain and begin at one end of

the timeline what's your date of birth or something some starting point and at the other end put

your present date or words to express an event markers and or colored pens or pencils are

encouraged be created the next 10 minutes let's create hours that we will share with each other

I kind of already did mines because I needed to really really think about it what we have about

four and a half minutes to go just giving you a heads up if you know if you're done we can start

but you have about 4 minutes are we all done everybody I'm done I started reading and I'm like I

did not want to be the first person second time I said you know I'm I'm going to go out in was

October 23rd of 1987 and that is one of my oldest son was born but he just had a birthday today

II in August of 1990 I signed the paperwork and I gave him up for adoption to my parents third

day court date for stating that I selected is October is me August and the fact that I chose West

September and that's the day that my and that day we lost I've been part of ourselves not just

Myself lyrics so how do you feel that the next one you want to share how did I skip over too

much know the next part of sharing our timeline so we're supposed to like randomly or in around

here a timeline with a group and then you need to ask you how bad ask you how the different

event shape your little app State you to be who you are today and I think you're ugly you're

already starting to see you've already started sharing it. Little bit so I guess the rest of us is up

to us to see about how do I light basically blinds that regardless of how much I hurt or how

angry I am or how big is the sun almost every night and there are still people that have children

you know things to so you know it it's kind of an up-and-down it took me a long cable TV

summer better I have work better days than I have bad and bad days or because I 7 years I felt

as though I was competing for lack of a better word with her memory while I felt like you know I

mean we all hurt but I'm still here since I'm working backwards and a sex would always come

home she might be on drugs or whatever but if you would help me grow because we had a

love-hate relationship I spent a lot of time with her and so I spent a lot of time at my grandma's

house so they're West over the last 10 years if not longer and we can't became friends and I

think that's why I was so mad or she didn't know that we were finally friends being mean we

weren't being drugged I thought we were actually just so I did I felt cheated in that aspect but at

the same time once I got over feeling sorry for myself I realized that I should be cherishing the

time that I have and I did get to know her and we did spend together and I think about the stuff

for the garage I'm lemonade in the lemonade machine was broken she called me the lemonade

machine being broken and and then she was pink ombre nails and only got one hand done

before they came together so they let you know I told her 11 because my son was born. My

second son was born on that day he appoint I was a little older he was first birthday present my

birthday is the 9th of March so he with my gift and and he to this day now that he's an adult with

my friend it happened before that I selected and I'm going to go back to my son Daniel or minute

he's the youngest ever near and but she is a little bit older than here and then of course. Rain I'll

go all right I don't have months but I have years and I kind of like Incorporated some of my

answers with my the questions and answers together if you understand that so my first year was

1983 I was pregnant with my first child I was 16 I quit school and I yes are you guys hearing the

same feedback. I want to. Every time Sylvia was fine I didn't hear it when I heard it I heard it a

little bit when I'm Sylvia was speaking just not a whole lot it seems okay now when you talk to

me if you are so I'mma start over I'm fine weekend here say again if you like crazy when we can

hear so clearly if it goes was too bad so that whoever's talking can at least know to stop pause

for a minute. So you can go ahead and 1983 I was pregnant with my first child I had quit school

because I you know I didn't want to like go into the system and be on welfare and all that stuff

so I quit school and I got my first job so working at 16 taking care of my son didn't want my mom

to do it for me so I pretty much did it myself so that was my first year so everything is kind of

connected to each other so 1980s I mean 1997 I had my fourth child started this is when I first

started and the Human Service working in human services I got a job working as a medical

billing assistant so I used to like you know bill for bill for services rendered through residential

and that lets leaves to my next one 2003 while working and as a medical billing assistant I used

to get to see a lot of the clients and most of them were children and I used to have his one little

boy come into my office and talk to me everyday so when he was coming to my office and talk

to me you know we'll just sit there and talk about different things and then he said to me one day

he said he called me Miss day and he said you be a great foster parent So within that time in

2003 I became a foster parent and I adopted my foster daughter she came up she I had it for

about I got it from 3 months to 5 months and a 5 months she became she went up for adoption

so my daughter said one of my oldest daughter said Mommy can we keep her so I said she got

a puppy so I said but if everybody's on board you know if your dad is on board and you know

everybody's on board we we can adopt her so we did so after that in 2010 my mom had passed

away and I always told my mom that I was going to go back to school The Graduate so I went

back to school I got my high school diploma not my GED my high school diploma so what else I

got my high school diploma and then in 2014 I graduated with my associates degree so all of

those things kind of shaped me into the person I am today how many kids do you have in total

all together I have with my my doctor's daughter with my daughter I have five how do you think

the experience of adopting a child has changed your perspective on life in general when I first

adopted her it was a little heart because she she was a sickly child and I didn't I really didn't

know it at the time but going through everything with her I think it made me a little stronger and

you adopted her before you this was before you go to your high school diploma right yes this

was before I got my high school diploma would you say that's the experience is prior to that I

would probably pushed you to pursuing your higher education like you did it up to going back to

school and finishing your education I would say yes cuz I always told my children you know

finish school because coming up you're going to leave that education to get a good job if not

you'll be working like at McDonald's forever even though McDonald's is a good job I work there

and maybe get money but you know once you get older you need a better job to take care of

yourself and your family and put some something away yeah are you still fostering actually

know because job that I have now is so demanding on my time I don't even have I don't have

any time to do anything between school and my job or I'm working like around the clock all the

time like I'm always on call 24/7 so my timeline started in September 2007 which is a good until

July 2018 this was a 13-yard. Where I was with the most difficult times I feel love my life some of

them all right my kids were born in 2008 to 2011 and 2016 during this time. I was with my

partner when I expense and I went through a lot In 2015 which is my other Milestone was my

diagnosis for scleroderma angst me because I am a control freak if it's with it's kind of rare just

makes it very hard so he likes the city and my skin was gone so my fingers 1.4 like this they

were ecstatic that I couldn't my legs were bent at an angle and my arms were been at an angle

and this was all going on while I was pregnant with my last baby so I had to step out of my own

Pride I own control and actually ask for help with something that was very difficult for me

because I'm used to just supposed to Christians and doing everything on my own I remember

there was one time when I was cleaning out the refrigerator and I couldn't get back up and I in

my mind was like nope I will rather drag myself through the floor what I asked her for help but I

did and I think it was a point that I was just like I can't do this I can't let my pride stand in the way

of me did you know doing the things that I normally do I change me it's my perspective and I

started to lay down a little bit more on others or cyst just on my cell I went through a period of

depression because when I had my baby I went from 147 pounds to 180 lb so the person that I

saw in the mirror was not even remotely right now and so I went to a very like a brief. Of I guess

that you could have just named after pregnancy I didn't like who I was that was a very turn in my

life School into the other 39 started my associates I have to do it just because you know it is

something that I'm teaching my kids to me it's really important because my kids will see that I

did it so how long it took me regardless of if I did it right after I did it did it all this stuff going on

YouTube do it in 2019 I actually labeled it as spirituality Dark Night of the soul I went through

three days of actually just I was just in my bedroom and I don't want to see anybody it hurts

even smile those 3 days I think I drink maybe one cup of water with free days I didn't meet I

wasn't sleeping and it was because I realized I didn't like the person that I was becoming and so

it changed my whole perspective on who I wanted to be started looking into other forms of

virtuality it's kind of why I am the beliefs that I have now is based on those 3-day and analyzing

everything that have been going on in my life and just knowing that but I didn't want to be like

that I didn't want to be in that mind space or in that negativity so I guess I came out of that and

with the Beast that I have now the other thing that my life was Chase Bank in 2010 before I had

second daughter the reason why it's changed me that that a couple miscarriage was because I

realized that the partner that I was with wasn't there for me if it was me the weekend while the

process had to take the medication I was a baby and I was thinking I was four months pregnant

so the baby was for that weekend he was going to go out and I told him you know I still need

you and he just to hide what else do you want from me I was with you this whole weekend and

it's me time so by you know really hit me like you know you can't even be here with me on this

time so kind of changed my perspective on what I wanted from up from partner and my second

miscarriage was actually this week I need to realize that I did a pregnancy test and it came out I

went to the hospital I'm not supposed to be able to get pregnant with tubal ligation but the doctor

said that at that point in time when I went to the the hospital I will get them pregnant anymore

but he doesn't seem so it's a little tricky because I think that there's so much other stuff going on

in my life right now and it's just showing me that resilience that I still have inside of me to know

that get through it and emotionally I'm going to have to get through it and it's okay no ansible I'm

so sorry about what you just what you shared with us having gone through this week so I hope

you're as okay as you can be in them like I said yeah we're all moms so we Chelsea let me

know what you experiencing right this moment but will with you and we are really I can speak for

myself and say I'm really sorry for what you went through this week I didn't question do you think

that you being raised by your aunt has something to do with bike that you are like I have to eat

something I have to do things on my own I can't ask for help because you didn't want to feel like

a burden it's funny that you should mention that because that was actually my first event but I

changed it to the Florida my event was that I moved over there with them and they showed me

that tough love and I did feel like throwing up like I had to kind of fix things for myself and I didn't

want to get in and I didn't want to ask for any help because I felt like we were already doing

enough and the way that they are the way that they are is just very very credible people and

every time I ask for something for some kind of help or anything it was always job at picking my

face as you're a good-for-nothing you don't know I do things so you must not be very smart you

must be bum and you're not good for anything I do love with that mindset and I think I blame. I

think that a lot of my personality does raped that from that upbringing because For the Longest

Time those 13 years that I was with the person that did not love me cuz that is not love I thought

I deserved how old when you could you how old were you when you went to live with them it

was pretty much my whole childhood to my whole protein years I came back until I was a young

adult do you have somebody to talk to or talk to us now for sure my mom I guess since I came

back me and my mom has gone very very very weak and she is she's a really good support and

she's helping me through or she's helped me through a lot of things I think there's a lot of things

about me she doesn't know I haven't really shared a lot of things of how I lived when I was there

cuz I don't want her to feel guilty I would never want her to feel guilty of you know I knew I know

that she thought that was the best chickadee for me and throw it in her face really happened it

would probably break her heart was over there and a good support now we were in each other's

life so I'm happy she's happy do you feel that you work through that though because I know it's

help to form you who you are today and then I'm sure well hey I tried not to do unto others or

treat others the way things if I didn't agree with him we're done when you're with me do you

think that you have Works through that too early does it come back and punch you I guess you'll

have those box of maybe I'm not good enough and I look at how far I've come and I realized I'm

exactly where I'm supposed to be well I got you have my number if you feel like I'm the one

putting your problems to one side and then just for everybody else and I'm like that's just the

way I worked I feel like if I can concentrate on helping others and makes me feel better and it

will just make me just forget about you that's on my plate of the downside to that I could this is

my opinion entirely when we do that because I do that as well we're pushing off the inevitable

we have to eyeglass just had some point we have to post a Sgt I think that was what that that

whole spiritual Dark Night of the Soul thing was for me I was really facing my demons I was

really and I could you do that every once in awhile I have to have the spirit of self-awareness

where I am having to think about how do I feel about how do I actually I'm going to move

forward and what's what's working am I going to happen to it thank you for sharing I can't drink

that got into a huge altercation crossword called that was there and I hanging my parents split

up and then in 1997 my sister's husband you're at the bar and came to the house October 2001

my sister was murdered by her boyfriend my fiance years ago go back to the second happy little

bit about how those things so the events that I didn't know that my sister was at my sister the

one that was murdered was in the front porch. My dad wasn't her biological father so I answered

and there was blood everywhere cuz they're beating him up and stuff and I didn't know that at

the time like I said I don't know later so then when my sister has been molested by her the next

day she said that I was playing she's like you're lying you're saying that because I check the

man that you left my dad away from you by saying that and now you're trying to do it I didn't we

didn't know then that it was going to be something that we would Bond over later because she

left she moved out of the country with him you was running away from the charges that I

brought him so then I change my life it's kind of baby grow up 8 months after birth and then a

little bit my sister passing away we kind of bonded and she told me that her husband had

confessed to her being one of their drunken nights in the other country that they went to that he

had indeed molested me and that he had a moment that he met her I believe that my dad Chad

and that I was sorry that he never died and so maybe move back at home and being engaged

with this diamond even though his sister had only passed like five years before that and I was

working a lot on getting over there watching her. I drank it wasn't good to our relationship and he

couldn't text me and so down and then he helped me put my needs and our future ex-husband

and to know that somebody loves me to that point just telling me everything that you've

everything that you're injuring everything that you've endured it was how to say I I totally see

you in a different light now and I know we've shared a lot with us you've never been afraid to

open up and share but this this timeline has open up a lot more Avenues to for you to share

even more deeply and now I'm really sorry about everything that you went through in a timeline

El ranchon I have no idea what that feels like I can't even say that I can relate to any of those

events in your life but I'm thankful that you shared that it makes me see you in a different light

now that I know you for who I know you and my one question is is your dad did you say your

dad is still alive I am actually on my door and he's like my friend part of me that one of the dad

and I want him so I went with people who drove him to the border and as soon as I saw him for

a long time after that but my sister died like a month later after he left in this dark and alone,

ham and stuff and yeah yeah I told him everything that happened in and I know because my

sister told me you would come to my bed and he would say and I have spoken to him I've asked

him and he has confirmed he said yes I didn't do those things ready for that yet I just wanted to

know yes or no so we need I mean I help him with money and things like that but there's

definitely need to take in order for me to continue to provide myself what I need to buy that I

need to have in order to be able to not think about your own daughter when you were doing

those things because my aunts and uncles and stuff and so thank your dad and he's I was eight

when my dad left I can say that identifier with you a lot more now I know that when we first the

first session I identified with you and I don't know why there was something I just said I think it

was like I think they're kind of the same spiritual maybe it wasn't maybe it was what we've been

through I've kind of been quiet about it the whole time I was in a lot of the time text Ian high was

actually abused then I haven't spoke with many many many people about it it's kind of like my

little dirty Secret and I don't care who ever on my mom or my family knowing that you are able to

talk about it and and get that Justice per say I'm very happy for you you know cuz I Googled

thing but I I just think I should pay for what he did and so me and I call him by his name all right

the only one wasn't she had I'm going to start I have to say that my my heart is just really feel

like before I even share my my timeline I'm just so struck by your stories all of you you know and

I it's amazing what you don't know about somebody until they open their mouths you can that's

why I believe they say don't judge a book by it's cover you just have no idea what's inside of it

really get to knowing I sent from you by this title for this group today sectional self-disclosure I

started with my birthday which was September 10th 1979 and I guess I always joke about the

fact that I have my co-workers who like picking on me who are millennials and they like seeing

you are a millennial and I tell them no I am not because I missed it by today and then in 1981 I

put these two together 1981 and 1982 the death of my parents back-to-back 1981 in 82 hours

only 32 years old my mother was the first to go and then my father 1982 people always said that

my father died of a broken heart yep they say he did die of a broken heart because he was Ill

but it was Mall one of those things where it's the kind of illness that anybody should recover

from butt something just shut down there you know once my mom died the year before and he

couldn't go on and we've always had about your love story you know from different people like

you know one of those stories that you hear about that people who just loved each other so

deeply and then we'll just so together it's almost as though they couldn't live without each other

so when one dies and it's almost like the other one was like I just can't you know and at the time

I was going to be as old as I was born in 79 in September so 8081 my mom died need one and

then my father died so basically all that right there was like a milestone like to stop saved the

rest of my life like I started at two years living without my parents and I have to say that the

in-between stuff it is I'm still watching to even sharing some of the stuff you know. happened

between that time and now for who I have become today I'll become pretty good at concealing

stuff and people Breaking Bad she's got it all together you know people I was somehow people

would think that of me like when they meet me they think she's good she's got it all together she

had an easy life she's always had things just because I just became an expert of my own life

because I learned to live my life without having that Erin speaker to just shave it you know so at

2 years that was that and I'm going to jump like a big is a big jump you know to 2004 so that

point I was 20 I believe or something like that now I can't do the math but I conditions to the

United States I came to basically seek a better life can say my life was completely horrible

before that but it wasn't easy either and I had an uncle who was the brother to my day was

because he passed away the brother to my biological dad and he is the one who adopted I have

five with the five of us siblings so I was 2 years old and a half older siblings but when my

parents died we were all under 13 years old nebular between. Going to transition to the United

States one of those things where I always am never going to do this to anybody if I choose to

adopt a child if I choose to help somebody if I knew that I'm going to do it with my whole heart

knowing that I am in and I am doing it because I want to do it and if I say that I love this child

that's why I can relate to the letter to to nebula when she says my adopted daughter but my

daughter my daughter you know like because I don't want anybody to go to what I went through

to what my my younger years into becoming an adult bike if I take an attack I like what I'm

saying is my uncle to his and adopted us but we didn't have the easiest of lice so it was almost

one of those we lived a whole life with this thing over our heads like everything was like if you do

this we're going to pull this apart you do this with you live your life knowing that I have it I have

this life but I don't have it tomorrow it's like you living your life so you got to a point where I'm like

I can't wait to get out of this and I couldn't wait to do that before I move to the United States he

was a part of getting me here but really not financially supportive or anything like that I was on

my own boards my life and I was at in so that was a second this hard miles from transitioning to

the states I first came here I went to Nebraska it was easier to get into a small University in

Bellevue Nebraska so I did that she just basically father myself in life like a higher education and

all that so just to make my life better I don't know just become independent and then I moved to

Baltimore at 2005 SO2 episode that has the tide Milestone together I transition to the States but

I want to live in Nebraska for 1 year Baltimore which is where I am right now and when I first

came to the United States I have no time for guys I need to focus because I need to make a life

for myself. Very year when I arrived in the states I met my now-husband I gave him a hard time

when I did not know that 14 years later we would still be together so anyway and I got my to the

man that I still owe my husband presently and we've been married for 10 years and has been

great and then we we waited ten years before we had our son in 2016 who is now four years of

what I shared a little bit of my experience with him in there with you guys one thing that I didn't

put in my timeline but I'll share a little bit all because one of you shared something about a

miscarriage I did go to that as well before I had my son and so in a sense I can empathize with

you Myra that's why when you shared about that. Totally tripping because I tell you what you

never forget them you never forget yourself out of you you know it doesn't matter and I'm not

sure if anybody in 2016 and it was not an easy time at the only difference I can say is that my

husband was there with me and he was there for me and I'm grateful to have had that support

so but I just could not imagine what you were going to Dawn when you went to what you went

through with a partner who is telling you I have no time for this is my iHeart I was there for you

and so I just can't so and then presently I am Mom my sister I'm a friend I'm a full-time student

I'm a full-time employee and I guess that's me today and I'm still going to life and always

appears I am always one of those people who strive people as I got it all together but I tell you

what inside I'm like that. That's swimming, lie on top of over the walk on the water I look so calm

and swing back down to make the water I'm pedaling like crazy and that's how my life is right

now I kid you not I don't know how I'm doing life but I am doing it my timeline any questions I

think I shared mine in between as I went even if you guys don't have any questions for me that I

guess we can basically do the last ocean of this unless you have some thoughts about all

members will answer aloud session process process questions how does self-disclosure in the

stage of group development and what other questions would you like to ask the group and I

think we are doing. In-between but if you guys have any questions at this point would you think

self-disclosure helped us with today and how does it impact this is a meeting today Anthony

similar I need your fine so it just makes us or a cohesive I think I just want to add that for a long

time I felt like a lot of it was only they were only I had been the only one to go through them and

being a group where there so much diversity and in life events than so many things that have

happened and Dorothy said so I think I I feel a lot of that within like my clients I see a today they

see me and they see you know you have it all together you don't understand and I know you

have no idea how much I wanted to school cuz ya know another is just they have to learn their

own path just like we all have kind of has to learn to our own path but I felt weight lifted off my

shoulders when I said about what I heard what happened to me while I was in Tennessee and

then and it's just something that I have not been able to open up to a lot of people for the

longest time I think I started opening up about it maybe like two beers ago and I barely told my

sister 2 years ago from the time that I was 11 all the way till I was 17 that big chunk of my life on

my own I think what I'm hearing. No I just said I like the fact that I felt so comfortable and

trusting of this group that I was able to get out and say that part of me that I haven't disclosed

with a lot of people that's what I was going to say what I'm hearing is that this session of

self-disclosure has helped and I'm going to speak specifically about dawn like has helped

YouTube feel like you could open up more so the stuff disco that walked in helping you feel free

to open up is that correct you know I'm part of a group that you feel you can talk to you because

you can always talk to me but except to be able to open up like that Walter olivi it just it doesn't

work communities have anything more to say no it's just did this group just wasted make me cry

I get so emotional hearing all of this stuff is like yeah you know sometimes crying is good last

weekend after my parents left the movie The Notebook and I knew I was headed for trouble

anyway that's why I always watch the Hallmark Channel because you always need a good cry I

kid you not home I sodi showing Christmas movies Waukee so consuming that's the same thing

I'm experiencing right now in this being doing that and doing school I'm just constantly battling

like I said like that. Yeah so far few moments I just need that happiness and joy and the only

place I can find it in a place where I'm not hearing crazy stuff and I'll see anybody being shot

killed whatever is Homer the last 2 weeks ago I get today you went deeper I have to say that I

can say that I related to each and every one of you guys because if you are did when she spoke

about having adopted a child and you know taking that child and loving them for who they were

at that building with my heart because I didn't feel like the person who took me in and adopted

me after my parents died did that and get it out of almost like a Judy I think I kinda too so I felt

that when you shared that and then Rogue I felt that your experience is as deep and crazy and

they were I mean your whole timeline was just while you know like like a ton of bricks because I

wanted to know if you had a relationship with him after all those supposed to be called because

she was really nice to me you know he was just you know because he adopted us but that's why

I wanted to know that and then known and she said about having a miscarriage I could relate to

that you know I haven't gone to one myself and I could feel that and having grown up in a home

well it was your home by other people I could say that experience. And then Cindy oh my

goodness Cindy's my mom you know you know a lot. There's a lot of big family you know and

you know being in a place where they all lived together I like you know having a lot of family

members I could really do that because my home was always that way you know there are

always people you know we got come from a background where people are being always

helped by somebody else I can play Shannara like to see her being that mother figure who is

just there you know walking out to the relationships with everybody so but I'll I enjoyed myself

today and I just have to give that little recap all right what the guys we did it we did interpersonal

group and we are at 84 minutes 28 seconds and I think we've done pretty good the last thing I'm

going to say before he closes I have noticed that you guys have unanimously unconsciously

made me your leader I have noted so many little things that are you guys better hurry for the

way you ask me things and whatever I like she had that in my last as long as he does like that I

shared that that it throughout the time that I was with you got it seemed that you were the leader

and everybody was looking to you yeah it follows me everywhere even when I am running away

from it so it just seemed like a Democratic leader I like sharing the responsibility it doesn't have

to be about just me and I'm so far I'm so happy with the way we've been doing things so you

guys are happy I'm happy yes we are all right thanks again when heat up always you know

setting up the meeting and sending the link