Psychology of Intimate Relationships Week 3

Practical strategies to increase INTERDEPENDENCE

Adapted from Elizabeth Earnshaw’s book, I Want This to Work

Earnshaw, E. (2021). I want this to work. Sounds True, Inc.

Practical strategies

1. You can always practice sharing your ideas and feelings by writing them down before addressing them in conversation

2. If persons feel, “needy” to you, ask if there is a way they are really trying to connect with you or perhaps an ADAPTIVE way the 2 of you can connect

3. How much compromise is there? Hearing others’ perspectives in critical to interdependent relationships

4. Remember the slogan, BE CURIOUS, not FURIOUS, especially when exploring viewpoints

5. It is OK for others to help you

6. Take time to validate EACH OTHERS feelings in the relationship

7. Examine your own caretaking behaviors: Does it feel good to take care of others or does it lead to resentment? Do you rush to take care of others or put their needs always before yours? Do you consistently give as a caretaker WITHOUT constantly sacrificing?

8. Consider how each person in the relationship works in ways to control tension and self soothing

9. Are there rituals, common purpose, common traditions or adventures you like to share together