Journal

A Workshop on Improving Style

Using rhetorical questions correctly

· These can be quite useful to encourage readers to think about an issue in a new way.

· DO use rhetorical questions in the middle of paragraphs, especially after using an example or anecdote. It helps readers place themselves in the situation and consider what they might do as well.

· DO NOT use rhetorical questions at the beginning of paragraphs (especially the beginning of the essay) or the ends of paragraphs. Also avoid using more than one for every page of writing you have.

Avoid Wordiness

· Sure, you’ve got a page count to reach. But inserting filler words isn’t the way to do it. It may fill up the page, but your paper will be really painful to read.

· DON’T write: He carries a briefcase made out of leather that is weather-beaten.

· DO write: He carries a weather-beaten leather briefcase.

· DON’T write: There is a place called the Writing Center where students can go in order to improve their academic writing skills.

· DO write: Students can improve their academic writing skills at the Writing Center.

Avoid using a conversational tone

· This can be anything from using slang to just using conversational words like “well” and “so” and “now” at the beginning of sentences. Just as you wouldn’t include things like “um” or “uh” also avoid using other words that people use as fillers in actual conversation.

· DO use a voice, tone, and style that is more formal than you normally would in speaking, even to someone official like a boss. This is called Standard Written English.

· DO NOT feel like using SWE means that you have to use the thesaurus to make yourself sound official. It’s fine to use simple and clear language to get your point across.

Avoid defining common terms

· Many times, especially at the beginning of the essay, there is the temptation to define terms like “music” or “love” or “disease.” But this is really unnecessary and simply looks like filler.

· DO discuss how experts view these terms, possibly contrasting their ideas with others if you want to show a nuance between them.

· DO NOT cite a dictionary definition simply for the sake of informing readers of the word’s meaning as if they are stupid. Especially do not cite Webster’s dictionary or similar.

Change up your sentence structure

· If you notice that you are beginning sentences with the same word (“the” for example) you may not have very much variation in your sentence structure. While not inherently wrong, setting up your sentences the same way makes your writing sound boring and simplistic.

· DO change things like “the woman walked up the street and noticed the trees were in bloom” to something like “As the woman walked up the street, she looked around and saw that the trees were blooming” or “Walking up the street, the woman noticed that the trees were in bloom.”

· DO NOT make the sentences so convoluted that they don’t follow basic grammar rules. You don’t want to take it too far.

Mix up punctuation

· Just as you want to vary sentence structure, it’s a good idea to use varying punctuation as a way to show that you are sophisticated in your writing.

· DO use semicolons to combine shorter sentences together and/or colons to introduce quotes or other ideas.

· DO NOT use exclamation points in academic writing. Like, ever.

Vary your word choices

· Do you notice yourself using “states” a lot to introduce a quote? Try using “claims,” “asserts,” or “notes” instead.

· Be more specific with certain words. For instance, find anywhere that you use words like “stuff” or “things” and eliminate those completely. Replace them with specific words.

· As an exercise, try to eliminate as many “to be” verbs as possible in your writing. (Any variation of am, are, is). You can almost always use a different word in its place and enhance the whole meaning of the sentence.

· DO NOT use the thesaurus to try to vary your word choices. I know I mentioned this before, but it bears repeating: DO NOT use words that you would not normally already use. It will give you a very odd-sounding voice.

Mini Grammar Lesson!

Semicolons

A semicolon only has TWO basic functions. When you learn them, you’ll be able to use them with ease.

1. Use a semicolon to separate two independent but closely related clauses.

a. My car would not start this morning; the battery was dead.

b. My sister has three cats; all of her clothes are covered in fur.

c. You should not overuse semicolons; therefore, only use a couple in your essay.

2. Use a semicolon to separate complex items in a series.

a. I have visited Ohio, Pennsylvania, and New York.

b. I have visited Columbus, Ohio; Erie, Pennsylvania; and Buffalo, New York.

c. Remember to eat, drink, and be merry.

d. Remember to change the oil in your car every 3000 miles so that your car keeps running; send handwritten thank-you notes for every gift you receive from friends and relatives; and over the whole course of your life travel as often as you can to as many new places as you can.

Colons

Colons, on the other hand, have several functions:

· Separate hours from minutes (10:30 AM)

· End a salutation in formal letters (Dear Dr. Jones: )

· Separate a title from a subtitle (Star Trek: The Next Generation)

· Begin a direct quotation (Accordingly, Alex Smith had a few things to say about that: …)

· To introduce a point (Do: …)

· Separate various types of information in a bibliography (New York: Random House, 2011)

· To amplify or explain a preceding concept

· She made a sad discovery: the car battery was completely dead.

· There are two things you must do to become a better writer: write and write some more.

· Make a list

· He visited three states: Ohio, Pennsylvania, and New York.

· She decided to bring only three things with her: a wallet, a passport, and a sense of optimism.

· DO NOT use a colon if there is no independent clause

· NO: For my birthday I want: a car, a laptop, and a puppy.

· YES: For my birthday I want a car, a laptop, and a puppy.

· NO: I have several hobbies such as: reading, playing video games, and drawing.

· YES: I have several hobbies: reading, playing video games, and drawing.

· YES: I have several hobbies, such as reading, playing video games, and drawing.

· NO: When you go to the store, remember to buy: bread, milk, and coffee.

· YES: When you go to the store, remember to buy the following items: bread, milk, and coffee.