Eng Comp 102 Essays

Illustration Essay by Aakanksha Bhargava

Submission date: 11-Oct-2019 09:54PM (UTC-0400) Submission ID: 1191182443 File name: oodle_temp_turnitintool_1320097445.Paper7-IllustratingEssay.docx (19.34K) Word count: 528 Character count: 2957

Hook readers

1

Fine observation!

Quotation Length

Dropped Quote

Thesis MissingCitation Needed

Topic Sentences

Edit sentence clarity

Para. Undeveloped

Citations: Study the how-tosProgression of Thought

Needed

Syntax Error(s)

Vary sentence starts

Articles: a/an/the

Cite all source material in- text

Quotations Add Credibility

No "," Coherence needed

Cite All Source Material

Paragraph Structure

Edit for Precision

Combining Sentences for Coherence

WC Page Format Incorrect

2% SIMILARITY INDEX

0% INTERNET SOURCES

0% PUBLICATIONS

2% STUDENT PAPERS

1 2%

Exclude quotes Off

Exclude bibliography On

Exclude matches < 3 words

Illustration Essay ORIGINALITY REPORT

PRIMARY SOURCES

Submitted to Straighterline Student Paper

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FINAL GRADE

1/1 Illustration Essay GRADEMARK REPORT

GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

Hi Aakanksha: Your paper makes several important points about Google's workplace environment.

Several writing elements do need more attention, especially the quality fo the writing. For more feedback about both strengths and weaknesses in your work, please review my in-text comments, keeping in mind that I marked only a few areas for demonstration.

All the best to you,

Maria S.

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Hook readers | Support Grab the audience's attention with an interesting hook and give important information about the topic in a way that logically leads to your claim.

Comment 1 | Research

Who defined this? What source?

Fine observation! | Support

Fine observation and critical thinking here!

Additional Comment

It could use a bit of editing, though.

Quotation Length | Research This quotation is much too long for a short assignment. Never allow a quotation to dominate a page, paragraph, or writing assignment. They are meant only to support our writing and thinking.

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Dropped Quote | Format Use a signal phrase to open or close a quotation, thereby attributing the quote to the source and avoiding "dropped" quotes. Link: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/577/01/

Thesis Missing | Thesis The introduction does not offer an identifiable thesis statement, as instructed in the directions. Helpful link to thesis statements: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/545/01/

Citation Needed | Research Cite Source: Please use the link below to find links to information regarding specific citation styles: http://www.plagiarism.org/plag_article_citation_styles.html

Topic Sentences | Support Every paragraph should start with a topic sentence that states the main idea of the paragraph. It helps to orient the reader and the writer. Check out this link: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/engagement/2/1/29/

Edit sentence clarity | Language

Edit for clearer, stronger sentence structure. Review the 4 sentence types.

Para. Undeveloped | Support This paragraph could use more development. Compared to the others, it is rather skimpy. What concrete types of support could you use to strengthen it?

Citations: Study the how-tos | Research

Make the time to review how and where to cite source material. Here is one link to consult and study: https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/research_and_citation/mla_style/mla_formatting_and_style_guide/mla_formatting_and_style_guide.html

Progression of Thought Needed | Organization Revise writing for global progression of thought, moving from one point to a new. Check out this link: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/section/1/2/

Syntax Error(s) | Grammar The syntax of this sentence contains a couple of errors. You might try reading aloud while editing to help hear awkward wording.

Vary sentence starts | Language

Vary sentence beginnings and structures. Do you hear the choppy repetition here?

Articles: a/an/the | Grammar

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Articles can be tricky. Here is a helpful link: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/540/01/

Cite all source material in-text | Research

Remember, cite with in-text citations ALL source material whether quoted, summarized, or paraphrased.

Quotations Add Credibility | Research An occasional quotation from an expert adds depth and credibility to a paper. Quoting also further demonstrates your skills in handling source material. Here is a helpful link for review: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/563/01/

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No "," | Punctuation Unnecessary comma: Commas have a wide variety of uses: setting off introductory phrases, separating items in lists, separating adjectives, enclosing appositives, and preceding coordinating conjunctions that are used to join two complete thoughts. However, commas should not be used alone to join two complete thoughts or to unnecessarily break apart long sentences. Careful comma usage is necessary to avoid confusing your readers.

Coherence needed | Organization Strive for coherence in writing, moving the reader smoothly and logically from sentence to sentence. Here your jump from one thought to another and without transition.

Cite All Source Material | Research Does any of this material come from sources? You want to cite all research whether quoted or paraphrased.

Paragraph Structure | Organization Paragraph structure in the body of a paper goes like this: topic sentence + concrete support + summary sentence. Here is a helpful link: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/606/01/

Edit for Precision | Language Edit for precision of thought and diction. This wording is not accurately saying what you want it to. Try reading aloud or to someone else.

Combining Sentences for Coherence | Organization

Edit writing to combine sentences and creating coherence and cohesion. Check out this link: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/972/01/

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WC Page Format Incorrect | Format

WC Page: This page is not in MLA style. Always consult the style guide for precise style and format. Here is a link to help you: https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/747/12/

RUBRIC: ENG 102V3 ILLUSTRATION_DRAFT

THESIS

INADEQUATE

BELOW AVERAGE

AVERAGE

ABOVE AVERAGE

SUPERIOR

SUPPORT

INADEQUATE

BELOW AVERAGE

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ORGANIZATION

Thesis & Focus: Thesis, central idea, audience, purpose, digressions

Lacks an identifiable thesis. Limited or no awareness of audience and purpose. Readers cannot discern the essay’s central idea.

Thesis was attempted but unclear and/or inconsistently addressed. Reveals limited awareness of audience and purpose. Central idea either lacking or inconsistently addressed.

Thesis is identifiable, but perhaps too narrow, too broad, or otherwise problematic. Awareness of audience may be adequate but inconsistent. Central idea is perhaps too general and supported by irrelevant examples.

Thesis is established and is consistently addressed throughout most of the paper. Awareness of audience is sufficient. Central idea is clear and maintained in most of the essay.

Thesis is clearly established and maintained throughout the entire paper. Paper demonstrates a sophisticated awareness of audience and purpose. Central idea/focus maintained throughout.

Average

Thesis support, thesis development, use of details and examples, logic, and reason

No support of thesis with relevant facts, examples, reasons, or evidence. No topic development. Little-to-no details or examples provided. Topic development is flawed or non-existent.

Support is minimal, logically flawed, and/or inaccurate. Poor use of details and examples to support the thesis. Topic development may have been attempted, but does not form conclusions and/or fails to exhibit clear reasoning.

More support is needed. Some examples may be vague. Adequate use of details and examples that show, explain, and support the thesis. Some irrelevant support may be present, but most evidence supports thesis.

Support is sufficient but perhaps flawed in some way. Good use of details and clear examples that show, explain, and support the thesis. Thesis is supported and developed in most paragraphs.

Essay completely supports the thesis with logical arrangement of evidence. Excellent use of details and clear examples that show, explain, and support the thesis. All assertions are supported and relate to thesis.

Average

Coherence & Organization: Introduction, conclusion, body paragraphs, transitions, topic sentences

INADEQUATE

BELOW AVERAGE

AVERAGE

ABOVE AVERAGE

SUPERIOR

LANGUAGE

INADEQUATE

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SUPERIOR

No clear introduction, body, or conclusion. Little-to-no transitions. Demonstrates little-to-no understanding of organization. Many sentences within paragraphs do not relate to each other and/or the paragraph’s topic. May contain no discernible topic sentences.

Introduction, body, and conclusion attempted but problematic. Few transitions. Perhaps numerous digressions. Mostly missing or problematic topic sentences. Demonstrates little understanding of organization.

Identifiable introduction, body, and conclusion; yet one significant weakness is present: undeveloped introduction, undeveloped conclusion, illogical paragraph order. Adequate transitions, perhaps some digressions. Some paragraphs may lack clear topic sentences. Demonstrates basic understanding of organization.

Clear introduction, body, and conclusion although improvements could be made. Most paragraphs have clear topic sentences. Essay establishes a clear plan of development. Transitions are clear throughout most of the paper. Demonstrates good understanding of organization.

Clear and effective introduction, body, and conclusion: Introduction establishes the essay’s main idea, and conclusion summarizes thesis and main ideas without merely copying and pasting from the introduction. Clear and effective transitions are present throughout the paper. Demonstrates excellent understanding of organization.

Below Average

Language & Style: Word choice, repetition, redundancy, awkwardness, article misuse, wrong word form (their/there, etc.), typos/misspellings, vocabulary

May contain more than 6 errors in word choice, wordiness, redundancy, or awkwardness. May contain more than 6 errors in inappropriate language for academic audience. Fails to demonstrate competent language use; sentences and vocabulary are inappropriate, facile, and/or incoherent.

May contain 6 errors in word choice, wordiness, redundancy, or awkwardness. May contain 6 errors in inappropriate language for academic audience. Contains repetitive, incorrect, and/or insufficient sentence structure and/or limited vocabulary.

May contain 4 – 5 errors in word choice, wordiness, redundancy, or awkwardness. May contain 2 – 3 errors in inappropriate language for academic audience. Demonstrates competency with language use but sentence constructions and vocabulary may be limited or repetitive.

May contain 2 – 3 errors in word choice, wordiness, redundancy, or awkwardness. May contain 2 – 3 errors in inappropriate language for academic audience. Demonstrates sufficient knowledge and skill with varied sentence construction and vocabulary. Unnecessary repetition is minor.

May contain 1 error in word choice, wordiness, redundancy, or awkwardness. May contain 1 error in inappropriate language for academic audience. Demonstrates sophisticated knowledge and skill with varied and complex sentence construction and vocabulary. Little- to-no unnecessary repetition.

GRAMMAR

INADEQUATE

BELOW AVERAGE

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ABOVE AVERAGE

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PUNCTUATION

INADEQUATE

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ABOVE AVERAGE

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FORMAT

INADEQUATE

BELOW AVERAGE

AVERAGE

Below Average

Grammar: Fragments, subject-verb agreement, verb tense errors, verb form errors, run-ons, pronoun agreement

Contains more than 5 different grammar errors. The identical 3 – 4 errors may be repeated throughout.

Contains 4 – 5 different grammar errors. The identical 2 – 3 errors may be repeated throughout.

Contains 2 – 3 different grammar errors. The identical 1 – 2 errors may be repeated throughout.

Contains 1 grammar error, which may be repeated throughout the essay.

Contains either no grammar errors, or 1 – 2 different errors with no repetition.

Above Average

Punctuation & Capitalization: Comma errors, comma splices, apostrophe errors, capitalization errors, semicolon errors, colon errors

Contains more than 5 different punctuation/capitalization errors. The identical 3 – 4 errors may be repeated throughout.

Contains 4 – 5 different punctuation/capitalization errors. The identical 2 – 3 errors may be repeated throughout.

Contains 2 – 3 different punctuation/capitalization errors. The identical 1 – 2 errors may be repeated throughout.

Contains 1 punctuation/capitalization error, which may be repeated throughout the essay.

Contains either no punctuation/capitalization error, or 1 – 2 different errors with no repetition.

Average

Format: heading, title, margins, spacing, length, underlined thesis, other assignment-specific required elements *Length for Illustration is 500 words minimum

Doesn’t meet formatting requirements: Formatting may be missing four or more elements (either no title, incomplete heading, inappropriate spacing or margins, or thesis not underlined). Length may not meet minimum requirements.

Doesn’t meet most formatting requirements: Formatting may be missing three elements (either no title, incomplete heading, inappropriate spacing or margins, or thesis not underlined). Length may not meet minimum requirements.

Meets some formatting requirements: Formatting may be missing two elements (either no title, incomplete heading, inappropriate spacing or margins, or thesis not underlined). Length may not meet minimum requirements (an essay that does not meet length minimum will score no higher than 3 in this category)

ABOVE AVERAGE

SUPERIOR

RESEARCH

INADEQUATE

BELOW AVERAGE

AVERAGE

ABOVE AVERAGE

SUPERIOR

Meets most formatting requirements: Formatting may be missing one element (either no title, incomplete heading, inappropriate spacing or margins, or thesis not underlined). Length meets minimum requirements.

Meets all requirements. Formatting is appropriate in terms of heading, title, margins, spacing, underlining thesis. Length meets minimum requirements.

Below Average

Source minimums, incorporation of sources (including use of signal phrases), use of research to argue topic, MLA in-text quote formatting, Works Cited list. This paper requires at least one source.

Source minimum requirements are not met. Research is insufficient, irrelevant, or inadequate. Sources are not incorporated at all, or are done very poorly. Five or more errors in documenting sources using MLA style may be present. Works Cited page either omitted or formatted very poorly. It may be difficult or impossible to discern which sources are in the list.

Source minimum requirements may not be met (Note: If source minimum is not met, the essay will score no higher than 2 in this category). Research is superficial and/or sources are incorporated poorly. No more than four different errors in documenting sources using MLA style may be present. These identical errors may be repeated. Works Cited page may contain significant formatting errors, and some sources may be omitted from the list.

Source minimum requirements are met. Research may be superficial, sources may be poorly incorporated. No more than three different errors in documenting sources using MLA style may be present. These identical errors may be repeated. Works Cited page may contain significant formatting errors, but all sources are listed.

Source minimum requirements are met. Fairly thorough research with mostly effective use of sources. No more than two different errors in documenting sources using MLA style. These identical two errors may be repeated. Works Cited page may contain minor formatting errors, but all sources are clearly listed.

Source minimum requirements are met. Thoroughly researches the topic, uses sources effectively. No more than one different error in documenting sources using MLA style. This identical error may be repeated. Works Cited page may contain minor formatting errors, but all sources are clearly listed.