Response essay
Clairefondong
Icanunderstandhowyouareapproachingthisessayanditisbasicallycorrect.docxI can understand how you are approaching this essay and it is basically correct, but I would suggest you reserve your response (analysis) for the concluding paragraph. This essay is about you considering the two expert opinions being presented, much like a court judge listening to the arguments of opposing lawyers.
I would introduce the problem first as an issue being debated among teachers. You can then present the opposing opinions and ask which one has the strongest, most factual opinion.
Then introduce Teller (full name, title, affiliation) as an example of his side of the argument (he probably is not the only one who has this opinion.) and where he published his article first (because Stewart replied in the same journal).
I recommend breaking his argument into separate points in your first two paragraphs, to which Stewart will respond in paragraphs 3 and 4.
Remember: This essay is not about you, its about the issue. You tend to insert yourself into the discussion in a way that suggests your opinion is of equal credibility as theirs. They have PhDs and have been teaching for years and are therefore experts. Your stance should be like a journalist, presenting the issue and then evaluating it at the end.
So let the experts present their arguments and then in the conclusion give your verdict - in a rational, analytical way - considering the evidence they bring up and evaluating it. THEN present your response as a response to their arguments. It is best to be empirical so your reader will not think you were biased before considering the evidence.
Punctuation: A quote begins with " and ends with". Yours in paragraph 1 (P1) only have a beginning ".
Also, use quotes sparingly and not as a replacement for writing. Paraphrase often because you can get the idea down more specifically in less space. I suggest using quotes the way you would use Tabasco sauce in food - a little bit for emphasis. Quotes add emotion to the discussion, and should be something that epitomizes the writer's idea. Otherwise, paraphrase!
Style:
Always aim for clarity and comprehension, with short sentences. Eschew big words - keep it simple and unadorned.
When referring to your experts, it is best to say something like, "According to Teller..." or "Stewart writes that..." and be sure its in present tense, as though they are speaking right now. In-text citations go at the end of a sentence where you have been presenting their claim(Teller, 2016). If you refer to the same article again, you can write (2016, pp. 231) with the page number that claim was made at the end of that sentence. If you then bring in their critic, write it as (Stewart, 2016) again.
Also in academic writing, we write sober, calm, formal prose - as though you were going to read the paper to your assembled colleagues at a conference. Avoid casual language (there's, that'll, isn't).
In your conclusion you can explain (coolly) what part of Teller or Stewart's argument you find to be fallacious or faulty - and why. Make your evaluation logical and analytical - that is more convincing than making personal attacks on the expert.
REFERENCES:
You forgot to put the journal volume and pages.
Consider using Purdue University's OWL website for grammar and usage, as it is very thorough. Also make use of Allison Dorsey and her workshops this week. Show her your essay so she can help you catch grammatical and sentence errors.
