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I am Not my Social Stigma!

I am a felon, and in society there is a real social stigma. Best summarized in Offender Reentry by “Congressional Research Service”, “Compared with the average American, ex-offenders are less educated, less likely to be gainfully employed, and more likely to have a history of mental illness or substance abuse—all of which have been shown to be risk factors for recidivism” (James). This is deeply saddening since the United States has the highest level of incarceration per capita. I have been convicted of over twenty felonies and multiple misdemeanors. I have two strikes on paper in California and one in Washington. After my release from San Quentin State Prison on June 3, 2014, I was placed in a sober living house where I was subject to random drug tests by parole and the house management. I was kept track to the point, I figured they wanted me to fail. After dealing with the day to day struggles of trying to satisfy society, I still had to appease my family. While I have to believe my loved ones want me to succeed, it’s as though they believe I will ultimately fail and retreat back into my old ways. If all this is not enough, after I have completely shattered my life, I have to try to live up to my own expectations. I am not a social, financial, or personal failure.

According to society, a felon is a bad word. So as a felon I am remarkably the evil villain. As a felon, when I get stopped, for even petty things, such as traffic violations, I get interrogated to the point of harassment. However, once released into society, trying to find a job is an altogether different story. Work is rather hard to find. In a study done in 2010 it states, “An extensive body of research has established that a felony conviction or time in prison makes individuals significantly less employable” (Schmitt, Warner 2). Usually only menial jobs are easy for the pickings. Also stated in the Center for Economic and Policy Research is that 90 percent of the former inmates are men (Schmitt, Warner 2). I was a journeyman painter when I went to prison, where work used to thrive it tends to be scarce. The jobs that were available to me before are cut down a lot due to my convictions; no longer can I receive military access and I am even denied on major jobs that need security clearance. The work I do is not sub-par; companies don’t want to worry about weather I will be allowed on the next job. According to “A Life of Punishment”, as of 2011 at least 37 states either fully or partially banned drug offenders from receiving food stamps (The Sentencing Project). This makes it hard for anyone with drug charges to receive aide. Also stated, “Given the scale of drug convictions annually, the number of individuals affected by the ban is potentially quite substantial” (The Sentencing Project). Not only is this social rejection, it also hinders the ability to provide for your family in hard times.

When it comes to family, after my release, my family has tried to do everything they can for me. However, I can see that deep down it is like they are already planning my demise. As soon as one thing goes wrong they assume the worst, and I am pegged as returning to my old ways. Due to incarceration, I was not able to be there as a provider for my family; nor, was I there for them physically. Now when I say I am going school, I am looked at in disbelief, as if this is not possible or just not something I will not do. These conflicting emotions lead to self-doubt. As a result, hiding from society and even my family has become an ongoing battle.

Above all there is the fear of failure. The fear of letting down your loved ones can become unbearable. All of these obstacles listed above are hard enough. We do not need to imagine life circumstances to be worse than they are. Housing is a major problem. In a publication called “Criminal Justice, Homelessness and Health” it states that after an offender is released it is difficult for them to meet their essential needs, that housing is harder because of numerous obstacles and lastly that even employment is hard to find with a criminal record (1). Living up to the name of a felon can be challenging. Starting my education late has become a real challenge, not only are the other students generally ten plus years younger than me, but I am starting so late that for every year I am in school it is a year less of solid educated employment. Also finances are a major problem not only for me but for most felons. Prior to incarceration, was a great run to destroy my credit. Combine that with court cost and restitution and it leaves a mountain of debt to catch up on. All of these problems create a real sense that failure is possible, however I tell you this, failure is not an option.

Finally I leave you with this; there is a real social stigma. However a lot of the thoughts on what the stigmas are, in the mind of a felon, are purely generated by resentment to the system for a crime they committed themselves. The problem is the social peer group while incarcerated. Constantly, day in and day out, you sit around with a bunch of bitter people looking for any reason they can find to blame someone or something on their failure. Truth is, from a young child I was raised that trust is earned, so for me to get released and believe that nothing ever happened in everyone’s eyes would be absurd. No, same as most people do not trust the average teenager, this trust needs to be earned. The only difference here is that instead of earning trust I did the exact opposite. While there is a social stigma, it has no comparison to the mentally generated stigma paired with negative reinforcement. And besides, no one truly wants you to fail. Failure results to the lives and homes of their loved ones to be at risk. However, they do not wish you to feel like it was no big deal and reoffend. I will succeed in my new life. I am not a failure. I will not be swayed by social rejection; I will prove the naysayers wrong.

Work Cited

James, Nathan. crs.gov. Congressional Research Service. 2015. Web. 1 May 2016.

National Health Care for the Homeless Council. nhchc.org. 2012. Web. 1 May 2016.

Schmitt, John and Kris Warner. cerp.net. Center for Economic and Policy Research. 2010. Web. 1 May 2016.

The Sentencing Project. sentencingproject.org. 2013 Web. 1 May 2016.