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Proofed Paper: ntp529087 - Thu Jan 10 12:25:05 EST 2019

Paper Title: Global Warming & Climate Change

No. of Pages: 4 Pages

Paper Style: APA Paper Type: Persuasive/Argumentative

Taken English? Yes English as Second Language? No

Feedback Areas: Focus/Thesis Statement, Sentence Variety

Paper Goals: Evaluate the sources you’ve used in your paper according to the criteria outlined

in this chapter. Do you believe some sources of information are more trustworthy

than others? How would you determine trustworthiness? If Nick Thomas wants to

learn how consumers’ attitudes toward global warming are re

Proofing Summary:

Hi Delores,

I’m Jeanette, your writing tutor for the Writing Center. I have reviewed your submission and have several suggestions that

will help you revise. Please feel free to contact us through a 24/7 live writing session with any follow-up questions or for any clarification.

Below, you will find a revision plan along with margin comments within your paper. Use my suggestions as a starting point

for the revision process. Note that I have not proofread the draft for minor errors, but rather, focused on larger concerns

such as idea development. For a complete look at

grammar and punctuation, please use the Grammarly software available under “Writing Center” in your

classroom.

You have done a nice job of researching your topic and putting your thoughts down about your research and the sources

you selected!

For your revisions, I suggest focusing on:

1. Organization: Your paper is not organized is a typical essay format. For an essay, you should have a title page, an

introduction paragraph, three or four main body paragraphs, a conclusion, and a references page. For more information on

APA format and organizing your paper, click on the links below:

http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/writing-a-paper

http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/introduction-apa

2. Thesis Statement: Your thesis statement is unclear. Your thesis should be a clear, concise, and declarative statement

included at the end of your introduction. When revising your thesis, it should include the main topic of your paper = global

warming and climate change and the key points that you will discuss within your paper. The thesis sets the purpose and

direction for your essay. For more information on writing a thesis, click here:

http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/writing-a-thesis

3. Citations: In some areas of your paper you have included in-text citations for paraphrasing from your sources but it does

not appear that you have paraphrased any information from the source in this paragraph. Keep in mind...An in-text citation

is a citation within your writing that shows where you found your information, facts, quotes, and research. All in-text citations

require the same basic information: Author’s last name (no first names or initials), year of publication (or “n.d.” if there is “no

date”), page or paragraph number (for direct quotations only). For a direct quote...(Smith, 2017, p. 15). For a

paraphrase...(Smith, 2017). Remember to follow the ICE method with adding citations to your paper - introduce, cite, and

explain. A citation should not stand alone as a sentence. It should always be introduced and explained as to why it is

important evidence it supporting your topic sentence and how it ties back to your thesis. For more information on adding

citations to your paper, follow this link:

http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/citing-within-your-paper

4. Sentence Variety: I would review your paper for complete sentences and specific wording. There are some areas in your

essay where you are not writing in complete sentences. A sentences is a complete thought with a subject and a verb.

Check the comment/suggestions within your paper and revise as needed. Use specific wording and precise vocabulary to

convey your messages. I also made comments/suggestions in areas that were a little vague and more explanation/content

was needed.

Good luck in the course!

Jeanette

Writing Consultant

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Proofed Paper: ntp529087 - Thu Jan 10 12:25:05 EST 2019

This first paragraph does not contain

sentences but rather a list. Are you

required to format your paper in

complete sentences. I would check the

expectations for your assignment and

revise as needed.

Typically the first paragraph is an

introduction paragraph that lets the

reader know what your paper will be

about.

word choice: "trustworthiness"

Typically, your sources are listed on the

References page at the end of the paper

and not in the paper itself. Again, I would

check the expectations of the assignment.

You may want to confirm what the essay

is supposed to be about and what it

should contain. Typically, you would be

writing a small summary of each source

and not listing the sources in paragraph

form.

word choice: "are"

omit "rather"

insert "a"

omit "of"

The first parenthesis material is not needed.

You would include the (Moore et al.,

2015). if you were paraphrasing from the

article itself. It does not appear that you

have summarized any information from

the source in this paragraph.

Keep in mind...

An in-text citation is a citation within your

writing that shows where you found your

information, facts, quotes, and research.

All in-text citations require the same basic

information: Author’s last name (no first

names or initials), year of publication (or

“n.d.” if there is “no date”), page or

paragraph number (for direct quotations

only).

For a direct quote...(Smith, 2017, p. 15).

For a paraphrase...(Smith, 2017).

Remember to follow the ICE method with

adding citations to your paper - introduce,

cite, and explain. A citation should not

stand alone as a sentence. It should

always be introduced and explained as to

why it is important evidence it supporting

your topic sentence and how it ties back to

your thesis. For more information on

adding citations to your paper, follow this

link:

http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/citing-within-your-paper

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Proofed Paper: ntp529087 - Thu Jan 10 12:25:05 EST 2019

I would suggest not including the

in-text citation for a paraphrase as it

does not seem as though your

paraphrased anything from the source

here.

I would suggest you be more specific in

your writing with telling the reader what

the topics are. Can you elaborate? Can

you use specific wording?

this wording is unclear - check your word choice here

I would suggest..."The trustworthiness"...

This is a fragment and not a complete sentence. I would suggest revising to form a complete sentence with a subject and a verb.

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Proofed Paper: ntp529087 - Thu Jan 10 12:25:05 EST 2019

Should there be a conclusion paragraph that

sums up your essay at the end here?

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Proofed Paper: ntp529087 - Thu Jan 10 12:25:05 EST 2019

For proper APA format, all font within

your paper should be consistent

throughout. Use 12 point Times New

Roman. Black and no bold font.

Double-space throughout your paper.

Your entries should be listed at the left

margin and the second and subsequent

lines should be indented to create a

hanging indent.

For more information on creating a

References page in APA format, please

click on the link below:

http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/format-your-reference-list

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