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Proofed Paper: ntp529102 - Thu Jan 10 12:55:52 EST 2019

Paper Title: Final Project Part III Marketing Plan

No. of Pages: 4 Pages

Paper Style: APA Paper Type: Persuasive/Argumentative

Taken English? Yes English as Second Language? No

Feedback Areas: Focus/Thesis Statement, Sentence Structure

Paper Goals: Complete the Marketing Plan Exercises at the end of each assigned chapter.

These exercises will be the building blocks for your final project, a marketing plan.

You will do each exercise on the same enterprise. Your enterprise strategy may

be: 1) real, emerging, or imaginary; 2) product or service o

Proofing Summary:

Hi, Delores

I’m Stephen, your composition tutor for the Writing Center. I have reviewed your submission and have several

suggestions that will help you revise. Please feel free to contact us through a live chat session with any follow-up

questions or for any clarification.

Below, you will find a revision plan along with margin comments within your paper. Use my suggestions as a starting

point for the revision process. Also, please note that I have not edited or proofread the entire draft for minor errors, but

rather, focused on overall concerns such as idea development. For a complete look at your grammar and punctuation,

please use the Grammarly software available under “Writing Center” in your classroom.

You have done a nice job of working on this assignment! There is a lot of interesting information here, which is a good

foundation to building on your overall assignment!

For your revisions, I suggest focusing on:

1. You should work on your paragraph development. In general, paragraphs should be around 5-7 sentences, and they

need to have 3 pieces:

P-Point—also known as your topic sentence where you state what the paragraph is about

I-Information—where you present your information (facts, details, quotes, and reasons)

E-Explanation—where you explain the relevance or importance of your information

This means that you shouldn't be starting or ending paragraphs with Information. Your Point and Explanations should all

be in your own words. Please be sure to do all of this when writing your paragraphs. For help with this, click here:

http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/body-paragraphs

2. Please make sure that you are fully incorporating all information used in your paper. They should be introduced and

followed-up with an explanation and analysis of their meaning; do not assume that your reader will understand how the

information connects to your point. A number of your citations don't seem to have an explanation. Make sure to add

substantive explanations to all of your citations. To learn about this process, please click here:

http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/quoting-paraphrasing-summarizing

Good luck in the course, and I hope we can help you with your next assignment.

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Proofed Paper: ntp529102 - Thu Jan 10 12:55:52 EST 2019

You should make sure that you are

developing your paragraphs properly.

Each paragraph should start with a topic

sentence that tells the reader what the

paragraph will discuss. Your sources are

only supposed to be used to support that

topic sentence; they shouldn't be used

as the topic sentence. Please make sure

that you're doing this.

You should also make sure that you are

properly explaining any citation that you

use in this paper. A good way to do this

is by using what is called the ICE

method, which helps to ensure that your

sources are seamlessly integrated into

your paper. For help using the ICE

method, look here:

http://tinyurl.com/hzhqgj6

Please make sure to remove your

instructions from your paragraphs.

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Proofed Paper: ntp529102 - Thu Jan 10 12:55:52 EST 2019

You should also make sure that you are

not referring to the instructions, or the

paper itself, while you are writing.

Mentioning this "study", "assignment", or

"paper" needs to be avoided.

Please make sure that you are

speaking clearly, so that it is easy to

see what you are trying to say. it's not

clear how the reader is supposed to

read this information.

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Proofed Paper: ntp529102 - Thu Jan 10 12:55:52 EST 2019

Again, please make sure that you're not

starting or ending paragraphs with

citations like this. You need to make sure

that each of your paragraphs are properly

developed, with topic sentences,

supported by sources that are thoroughly

explained. Please make sure to do this by

using the PIE and ICE methods in

conjunction with each other.

In addition, you should make sure that

each paragraph is of a good length. In

general, paragraphs should be at least 5-7

sentences long. Please make sure that

you're not making paragraphs that are only

1-4 sentences, or ones that are made up

entire of information from your sources.

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Proofed Paper: ntp529102 - Thu Jan 10 12:55:52 EST 2019

These first two sources seem to be missing

information. You should make sure to use the

link below for assistance with citing them

correctly:

http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/format-your-reference-list

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