due tomorrow..... 20 hours to do..... please read

2/18/12 8:12 PMHow do I Manage Differences?

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How Do I Manage Differences? A Self- Assessment Exercise

Picture yourself in a situation where your wishes differ from another person’s.

For each of the following, circle the statement (A or B) that describes how you would respond. Sometimes neither statement will be typical for you, but try to choose the one that seems more accurate of the two. Only you will see the finished exercise. Then record your responses on the answer sheet.

1. A. There are times when I let others take the initiative for solving the problem.

B. Rather than focusing on areas we disagree, I stress those things upon which we agree.

2. A. I try to bargain for a compromise solution.

B. I attempt to take time to listen to the views of others, while also asserting my views.

3. A. I am usually firm in pursuing my objectives.

B. I might try to avoid hurting the other’s feelings and focus on preserving our relationship.

4. A. I try to find a quick solution so that we can simply split the difference.

B. I sometimes sacrifice my own wishes and just go along with the other person.

5. A. I consistently seek to involve the other person in working out a solution.

B. I try to do what is necessary to keep things calm and avoid hassle.

6. A. I try to avoid creating useless tension for myself.

B. Sometimes I try to win by insisting on the legitimacy of my position.

7. A. I try to postpone dealing with the issue, hoping that it will go away.

B. I freely give up some points in exchange for others.

8. A. I am usually firm in seeking to achieve my goals.

2/18/12 8:12 PMHow do I Manage Differences?

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B. I attempt to explore all sides of the issues and bring them to the table for discussion.

9. A. I feel that differences are not always worth confronting.

B. I often try to get my way.

10. A. I sometimes seek to persuade others to embrace my position.

B. I try to urge moderation and meet people half-way.

11. A. I attempt to identify all concerns and get all issues immediately out into the open.

B. I might try to soothe the other’s feelings and give in to gain his/her approval.

12. A. I sometimes try not to make a big deal about something, even if I disagree.

B. I will concede some points, if he/she also gives in on some points.

13. A. I propose a middle ground where we can both walk away with something.

B. I sometimes insist on my position, especially when I know I’m right.

14. A. I freely share my ideas, while also asking others to share theirs.

B. I try to show him/her the logic of my proposed solution.

15. A. I might try to smooth over hurt feelings and preserve our relationship.

B. I try to do what is necessary to avoid conflict.

16. A. I try not to hurt the other’s feelings, even if it means giving in.

B. I try to convince the other person of the benefits of my position.

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17. A. I usually move swiftly in achieving my goals.

B. I sometimes withdraw from confronting disagreements.

18. A. If it makes the other person happy, I might just go along and not assert my views.

B. I will give in to some of his/her positions, if he/she lets me have some of mine.

19. A. I attempt to understand the basic concerns behind the other’s position.

B. I try to delay the need to face the issue, hoping that it will be dropped.

20. A. I attempt to work through our differences in a way that helps both of us to win.

B. I try to find a fair solution whereby we both make concessions.

21. A. In approaching negotiations, I try to accommodate the wishes of other people.

B. I always invite a direct discussion of the problem.

22. A. I try to find an intermediate solution between our differing positions.

B. I sometimes get impatient with dialogue and prefer to implement my solution.

23. A. I am often concerned with satisfying the basic concerns of all parties.

B. Sometimes I tend to ignore problems and let others bring them up for discussion.

24. A. If the other person’s position seems very important to him/her, I may give in.

B. I try to get him/her to settle for a compromise solution.

25. A. I try to demonstrate the legitimacy of my position.

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B. I try to be considerate of the other’s feelings, even if it means sacrificing my goals.

26. A. I propose a middle ground so we can move quickly toward a solution.

B. I am usually concerned about find the most satisfying solution for all parties.

27. A. I sometimes avoid disagreeing with others in order not to create controversy.

B. If it makes him/her happy, I’m often content simply to accommodate his/her wishes.

28. A. I’m usually forthright in asserting my wishes and convincing others to follow me.

B. I try to explore a broad range of possible solutions, even if it takes considerable time.

29. A. I propose a middle ground based on reason and fairness.

B. I feel that differences are not always worth the effort to confront.

30. A. I try not to hurt the feelings of others and will give in to preserve the relationship.

B. I usually share the problems so that we can find a mutually satisfying solution.

How Do I Mange Differences? Answer Sheet

Transfer your answers over to the appropriate column, circling the same letter you previously circled.

Answer Forcing (competing)

Collaborating (problem-solving)

Compromising (sharing)

Avoiding (withdrawing)

Accommodating (smoothing)

1. A B

2. B A

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3. A B

4. A B

5. A B

6. B A

7. B A

8. A B

9. B A

10. A B

11. A B

12. B A

13 B A

14. B A

15. B A

16. B A

17. A B

18. B A

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19. A B

20. A B

21. B A

22. B A

23. A B

24. B A

25. A B

26. B A

27. A B

28. A B

29. A B

30. B A

Total the number of items you circled in

each column