argumentative, thesis essay

6

The [all words in a title, except prepositions, usually small words, must be capitalizedAddress by George Engel on Anarchiston Anarchist what? On Anarchism, do you mean? And when was this? What is the thesis, in a few words?

Kern West

Professor Aaron Gillette

HIST_1306

03/23/21

The Address by George Engel on Anarchism

When?-->Life in Germany was hard for craftsmen, especially after the introduction of introducing factory machinery. As a craftsman, George Engel had to depend on his manual skill to have an income [this is implied, no need to state[to support the livelihood (Rulli, J. A2016). However, The introduction of machines increasingly replaced the need for human labor, making it hard for people who dependeduse past tense] on artisans, because the economy shifted to the use of machinery to improve productivity. The shift led to the need for skilled labor, forcing him to change to the United States.<--?? Led to the need of skilled labor? Wasn’t it the opposite? If they needed skilled labor, wasn’t Engel one of them?] Please read through this carefully, even though it is crossed out. I reduced what you said to the next few sentences. You will see it is much shorter, with no loss of necessary information

In the late nineteenth century, the Industrial Revolution greatly increased productivity. New machines were built, which replaced the need for skilled labor. George Engel was a craftsman in Germany who was also thrown out of work due to the industrial revolution. However, he heard that immigrants in the USA could easily find decent jobs. They were also supposed to be free from oppression, and could quickly start a new life as free men and women. However, he heard that immigrants in the USA were free from oppression, and could quickly start a new life as free men and women.<--this has nothing to do with economic needs, and that is what you were just discussing] He therefore immigrated to the U.S. Contrary his expectations, however, his life in his new country was similar to what it had been in Germany [“German” means either the language, or a person from Germany. “Germany” is the country]. Poverty was just as bad in the United States. It took George Engel a long time before getting a factory job because he was a craftsman, not a skilled factory worker. Furthermore, [what do you mean by “manual skills”? I don’t understand its use here.] life was still difficult, because pay was so low.

Because of these unfair conditions, Engel sought some political solution. Therefore, he joined the International Peoples’ Association. names of organizations must be capitalized] It was motivated by the fact that people with manual work skills were not considered considering that the country supported capitalist ideology (Kinna, 2017). It was composed of working men attempting to decided to be organized into a group that will help them find the best way to prevent capitalism's negative impact. The group was organized and operate to enable it to achieve the objective of use politics to improve their lives. It claimed that, in the United States, the economy was controlled by the upper first class to enslave make the workingmen slaves. ensuring their needs are addressed. Power argues that the use of history minority groups was regaining freedom through point; therefore, the past success can be used as the best predictor of the future. I do not understand what this means] The International People’s Association also asserted that political leaders were only concerned with their own financial gain and supporting capitalism, leaving out working people. the needs of those working in professional fields, leaving out those who depend on manual work, arguesuse past tense] It argued that socials?? Socialism was the best solution for poverty, because it promoted that promotes equality. and sharing of economic resources. among the society. It treated every citizen as the same, and where the resources were shared resources equally ,without discrimination. With a socialist system in place, working men could benefit from decent work opportunities and wages. The group espoused suggested the use of force as a way of bringing about equality.

[this needs to be explained here; What occurred? Why was Engel arrested? Why was he convicted, without apparently much evidence? What was the real reason he was convicted?: Prejudice against radicals led to his conviction for a murder he may not have committed.

In conclusion, Engel found that industrial machines contributed increased poverty among unskilled labor. It put craftsmen such as himself out of work. The invention of machines spread in many countries affecting many individuals. George Engel felt the impact of machine invention both in German and the United States of America. Therefore, individuals need to find a way of adapting to machines' innovation and creativity by straining to add skills. After emigrating to the U.S, he realized that Capitalism is the main contributor to creating different social classes within the community by distributing income unevenly where few members of the society own more resources while others suffered from poverty. The financial challenge forced many jobless working men to engage in various activities to get the income to support the family. Some were involved in criminal activity because they lacked skills that could be utilized with the adopted machines.

The USA's movement acted as a source of joy, free from oppression where one can quickly feel like a free man ready to start a new life. In the new country, there was a need for assuring living life without cases.<--I do not understand what you are saying here.] When in court, he was prepared to begin a new life where he was accused of murder. Still, the death in reality in German poverty was the main reason considering changes in the economic activitiesI do not understand what you are trying to say here] (Harrington, 2016).

After difficulty finding the job, Engel found work in a factory. the time came where the factory had the opportunity and employed people. problematic because it was hard to cater to the basic needs. In the United States, life for people with manual skills was still living in poverty, not the expectation. Engel faced the same challenges faced in America as he had in Germany.

Gorgemisspelled] Engel, being a craftsman, ?? He wasn’t a craftsman in the US: he worked in a factory] was under the low level suffer from poverty due to differences in terms of the income distribution. where private property and efforts were the key drivers of the economy. The implementation of capitalism as a way of economic development. you need to discuss why Engel was disillusioned with life in the USA, not discuss the essence of capitalism. That is not directly relevant.] It created social classes where those working for formal organizations become the first class in social classification.<--I do not understand what you are trying to say here]

Industrialization and capital have been the main reason for the inequality in American history, where machines replaced men as employees forcing them to be jobless. Without a job, it was difficult for citizens to get money and cater to all the basic needs. The financial challenge forced many unemployed working men to engage in various activities to get the income to support the family. Some were involved in criminal activity because they lacked skills that could be utilized with the adopted machines. Engel does not discuss any of this in the trial transcript. Also, it is not directly relevant to proving your thesis]

The argument is about the system that can help improve the economy and the welfare of the citizens. Capitals are described as a system that allows few people to hold billions while other members within the same community are living a poor life with a high level of poverty that cannot allow them to buy basic needs to support their family (Béja, 2019). Capitals system only favors first-class members within the society while disadvantaging the low class who are the most and were depending on their skills on manual jobs. Engel does not discuss any of this in the trial transcript. Also, it is not directly relevant to proving your thesis]

The argument is based on the economic system. The impact depends on the citizens' nature, the type of government policies and the availability of the resources, and how they are distributed (Avrich, 2018). Socialism encourages laziness, where some members benefit from the sweat of others. In a society where some members are lazy and unwilling to work hard, socialism cannot work best because they will be only a few members working hard, which reduces the national income hence increasing the poverty level. Therefore, the section of the governance system of either socialism or capitalism depends on the system's nature and the government policies that the government implements.<--I do not know why all of this is in a paper about Engel’s experiences. He was a socialist, and you seem to be arguing against socialism, which is not what your paper is about.]

Please read the syllabus, as you should do immediately for every class you take. The syllabus states that this is not a research paper. You should not have added all this information not in the document. That is very clearly stated, as well as my first lecture for the class. I also mentioned this numerous times in the discussion sessions of the class, which you had access to. Your paper is supposed to be about Engel’s economic and political life, and his use of these as a sort of justification of his innocence in a trial. Your paper is not about the nature of capitalism versus socialism. He mentioned this briefly, and it is ok to put in your paper, in your own words, what he mentioned. But not make it the focus of your paper. Furthermore, I simply do not understand what you are trying to say, in many cases. I can’t really find a thesis here, or evidence from the document proving the thesis. You also are using words in a completely wrong way “first class” is a sort of type of travel accommodation. “Upper class” is a socioeconomic group. That’s just one example from your paper. Please contact, immediately, the UHD Writing Center, and show them your paper that you turned in to me, and show them this corrected paper with my comments.

Please let me explain what I decided to do this semester, to improve your grades. First, I changed a lot of things, but didn’t spell out the changes so much, expecting that you will carefully look at your original draft, then my edited draft, and you would notice additional commas, or rewordings, etc. This was to shorten up the text and make it more clear without loss of essential information.

I did this to better enable me to go over and work on your entire paper, not just half. But it puts more of the burden on you of understanding the changes I made. Of course, if you don’t know why I did this or that, please email me and I can explain. Sometimes, if it is a persistent problem, I might suggest you do a virtual session with the UHD Writing Center, which knows about these writing errors or “best practices” improvements.

Also, I decided to bump up your grade by maybe a letter, in order to encourage you to rewrite the paper and to make sure to use my comments when doing so. I will grade the second draft of your paper in the “standard” way. This only helps your grade, I believe

These links give you some information I think will help improve your paper, in particular:

Thanks.

60/D-

Reference

Avrich, P. (2018). An American Anarchist: The Life of Voltairine de Cleyre. AK Press.

Béja, A. (2019). “Dreaming (Un) American Dreams”: Anarchists and the Struggle to Define Americanism. Journal for the Study of Radicalism, 13(1), 1-18.

Harrington, K. (2016). Haymarket & Immigration: A Legacy of Anarchist Fear.

Kinna, R. (2017). Context: Anarchism and the international.

Rulli, J. A. (2016). Chicago Haymarket Affair, The: A Guide to a Labor Rights Milestone. Arcadia Publishing.