Reflection Assignment

STEP 1: Story

Sometimes we do not realize how much pressure we are under until it is released. Often times parents do not realize the burden they are placing on their children with their high expectations. They believe what they are doing is best for their children and most of the time it is; however, it is not always the case. I grew up in a household which placed great importance on education. The problem was not the need for education, but the subtle demands to be at the top. As siblings, we subconsciously started to compete with each other, none of us realized how detrimental it was to us, including our parents. At one time or another most of us thought that whoever got better grades would be better liked by our parents. I think even my parents failed to see what they were doing. In their passion for the best, they were burdening us from a very young age.

Everything changed when I decided that I no longer wished to follow the path set by my parents. The realization was both freeing and condemning at the same time. I was afraid to go against the wishes of my parents on something this big. I have been under pressure from my parents to pursue medicine as a profession. I realized I had to put a stop to this before I ended up doing something I was not good at or worse hated doing. In the end, once the realization set in, the decision was easy to make. However, the problem was not making the decision, the problem was following through with it. I was afraid to disappoint my parents, afraid the change would not be well received, and there were a number of what-ifs that made me want to back out. But in the end, I decided to stick with my decision to not pursue medicine and so I discussed this decision with my parents. The relief I felt after making my own decision was a point of fundamental change in my life. This was a turning point in my life that I will never forget. Beforehand, I followed my parent’s plan and burdened myself with their expectations. I hadn’t realized that making my own life choices could be this freeing.

STEP 2: Hero’ Journey Stages

Based on the first stage of the Hero’s journey; I had limited awareness of the problem I was in when I was ready to follow my parent’s wish for me to become a doctor. I was unaware that there was something else I could do and other professions I could explore. I was in the second stage when I started realizing that something needed to change, I could no longer follow the path set for me. I was more interested in business related subjects, news, and articles than medical ones. Knowing the way my parents think, I knew that if I brought up this issue that there would be a huge problem and I was worried I would let them down and become a “bad example” to my siblings- as they would say. I was worried that my parents would not understand my point of view. I was afraid they would not understand that I would not succeed in the medical field and was worried that had I not listened to their wish that I would not succeed regardless of the field; since I wouldn’t have their blessings. I was also worried about what people would say about me since they always thought I would become a doctor. All these thoughts entered my mind and I figured that I must break through, so I mustered up the courage and decided to confront my parents. I sat down with my parents and discussed the situation at hand. I explained to them everything that was going on in my mind. When I finished talking with them, I felt a certain relief that I finally got this off my chest and was glad I overcame my fear. It was at that moment that I realized I had been underestimating my parents; they were on my side this whole time. We had a long chat about what I wanted to do, why I wanted to do it, and how I would go about achieving it. It was a liberating experience, realizing that I had been burdening myself too and could have overcome the problem if only I had talked with my parents sooner.

I overcame the most difficult part of the decision I made, which was telling my parents. Afterwards it was not difficult for me to go through with the decision I made since I realized this decision would make me happy. I had known that I was not cut out for the complex and extremely difficult life of a medical student and the decision to change fields seemed appropriate for me. This was not the decision I made late in life, rather this fundamental change came for me early when I was in school. Instead of dwelling in fear and waiting until college to make a decision and to talk to my parents, I decided to get it all out so that all of us can move on. I believe at this point in life, I reached the ninth stage of the Hero’s Journey. I made my decision, I stuck to it and now I am ready to bear any consequence as well as fruits that might come from making this decision.

STEP 3: STAR Approach

The Situation for me was the need to change my field so that I can pursue something that would be better suited for me and something I would be good at. I was living a life where I blindly followed any decision my parents made regarding important matters of my life. I was never a rebellious kid, I had never thrown tantrums to get my way; so suddenly to make this life-altering decision was an entirely new territory for me. My parent’s dream that one of their children will become a doctor is all we had heard about growing up. It was a story, an expectation and a burden that was placed on us all. For a long time, it had not occurred to me that there was something else I could do or even resist my parents. This is where the Tension came in my life. As I mentioned before I made this decision earlier in my school days. I was young then and afraid of many things. I never disappointed my parents whom I love a lot, and at the same time I was afraid that I would fail had I followed the path I chose without my parents’ support. In the process of realizing that there was something else I wanted to do and the fear of my parent’s reaction; I had turned my parents into an imaginary villain. I had to blame someone for all my fear; so, I blamed my parents. It never occurred to me that there could be a simple solution and that they would be understanding. This brings me to the Action stage. I could no longer bear to stew in my worries and decided to talk with my parents. Honestly, I went into the conversion thinking that I would have to fight my way out. To my surprise, the only reaction I got was a casual, supportive understanding from my parents. I am grateful to my parents because if they had even tried to sway me to their will, it would have been the cause of resentment between us. The Result of my action was that I was able to pursue an education in the Business field.

My journey is nowhere complete. I have yet to complete my degree and enter the professional field. Only after getting a job and starting a career can I determine whether I made the right decision or not. This is one of my fears that I still have to overcome, the fear that I made the wrong decision and that I can fail anytime. However, I am currently happy that I made an important life decision on my own and ready to make more decisions in the future.

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