ENGL 1711 03

Heila Moua posted Jun 22, 2021 5:26 PM

Although I find that Hmong parents are a lot more lenient but similar to Chinese parents, I understood why Amy's parenting was strict. In a lot of ways, Hmong families can come off really aggressive because they just want their kids to have the best schooling there can possibly be especially because their parents/elders endured so much tragedies just to give their children the best education. I didn't understand why Amy had to go to that extent to humiliate her children and name calling them to "motivate" them. I won't tell anyone how to parent their own kids but I feel like that doesn't always work with everyone. Some kids grow up in these kinds of environments where their parents are verbally abusive and grow up damaged and broken. In some cases, like Amy's and her children, they are fine and accomplished. I also feel that because mental health does not exist in the Asian community, it was overlooked and not considered.  In a scenario where my son was struggling to learn how to do math equations, I would sit him down and we would work on packets for hours until he understood it. Like Amy did, my son was only allowed to take breaks when needed such as using the restroom or needing a snack. It wasn't until my husband expressed that I was too extreme and harsh on our little 6 now 7 years old. I felt like the worst parent ever and when I had asked for my sons input on the way I taught and treated him during that time doing math equations, he told me I was mean and he was afraid to get answers wrong in fear that I would make him work harder than he already is. He also expressed that I be nicer so he would be comfortable to speak to me when he needed help. Since then, I've cut back the unfriendly behavior and after several months when I approached him about the way I have been teaching him, He replied, "I understand much better and work better when there isn't so much tension". I realized that there are many different methods to use. Instilling fear into your child and being aggressive can sometimes lead to more harm. Sometimes, an understanding, consoling parent can do better than a strict one. Everyone has their own tactics and even if I don't agree with Amy’s even though her daughter was praised for her awesome instrument playing at the very end, I don't think it's ok to force your children to work that hard just because you think they owe you something or it will be "fun" and "rewarding" at the end.