Relapse prevention

Video Transcript

Greg Simpson is a 47-year-old Africa-America. He works as a paramedic.

Greg Simpson: Growing up I was a pretty good kid. I did well in school, and I wasn’t into any drug, so my parents didn’t have any problems with me. I probable had my first drink in my senior year of high school for me and my friends that was normal. We didn’t think anything because we were just celebrating a school dance after graduation. In college I drank much more frequently. And I guess I could say I became a little more reckless. But I was in college and that’s what we all expected of each other. Don’t get me wrong I didn’t hurt anybody, but I could have. I lucked out my junior year in college when that cop didn’t give me a DUI just a warning. That wasn’t the first or last time I drove when I shouldn’t have drove. Hhhhhhm so anyway that was college. When I graduated, I met my wife, Tanya. We eventually we were able to do normal things that most married couples do because I had a decent job as a paramedic, and I was good too. I always have a knack for helping people. Anyway, you can’t imagine the kinds of things that you see while on the job in the middle of one of the most dangerous cities. Crime doesn’t stop and neither does the injuries. We had to help him. I could be working on a guy in the middle of the road giving CPR and I would have to look over my shoulder and make sure there wasn’t someone else who might fire another shot. Even when I was able to help that person, there is another one, then another one. Some the same and some different. Every day was a different day, but it was intense nonetheless that’s what made me love the love. But after a while, it wears on you. You are always in the state of constant alert. When I would get home from work, I would have a drink and relaxed. If the day was little harder then the last, then I just had a few more drinks. It made sense and at the time I wasn’t worried. After my tenth year on the job, I had started drinking a bit even before work, just to take the edge off. Later on, I even started keeping on a flask in my coat pocket just in case. Well one day I guess I had drunk a little too much we were rushed to the scene of an accident, and I was one of the paramedics responding to a four-year-old boy. He looked a lot like my son did at that age. Sober…… well I was not really all there; things were kind of in and out of focus because I had been drinking so much that day. I remember putting him on the stretcher making sure he was secured. But I didn’t realize that his leg had been cut real badly. He was bleeding every where even all over me. But I didn’t even see it. I had his fingers in my hands and he looked up at me right in the eyes with this look like he was so scared he knew he was about to die. And then he was gone. Sobering………he died because I was too drunk to realize what was going on around me. Crying………………………that family no longer had their son because I didn’t do my job, because I was too weak to handle the pressure of the job. I turned to alcohol instead of reaching to someone who could help me. That’s the day that I knew I had to see counseling services. I needed to find a way not to only deal with the pressures of work but also needed help in dealing with the fact that I let this little boy die. So, the next day I did some research online and found a therapist to talk to I scheduled an appointment at the next available time that had but that was two weeks from then. I needed someone right then and right there. Then I did decide to talk to my wife about it and she tried to make me feel better by explaining that death is part of my job, but she didn’t know how to help me especially the drinking aspect of my problem. She was pretty shock to hear just how bad it had gotten. Maybe she was not paying attention and she didn’t want to see it. I mean everything happened, too gradually over the years, and still she offered to take all the alcohol that I drink out of the house which is nice. But I knew that she still planned on having a drink when she came home from work every now and then even if is just a glass for dinner. Why would I have her change her lifestyle because of my problem? I eventually called a friend of mine who was recovering from alcohol addiction. He gave the number to the treatment center and that’s why am here today.