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Graves-Graves-Defining-pp-108-116.pdf

108 A STRATEGIC GUIDE TO TECHNICAL COMMUNICATION

I N·CLASS EXERCISE 4.8

Revising for Plain Language #2 Revise the paragraph below to make it express the ideas more clearly and plainly. Your readers are students who must work with this policy.

The purposes of Indiana University include the advancement of knowledge, the pursuit of truth, the development of students, and the promotion of the general well-being of society. As a community, we share a dedication to maintaining an environment that supports trust, respect, honesty, civility, free inquiry, creativity, and an open exchange of ideas. Indi- vidual rights are best protected by a collective commitment to mutual respect. A student who accepts admission to Indiana University agrees to be ethical in his or her participation in the academic community; take responsibility for what he or she says and does; behave in a manner that is respectful of the dignity of others, treating others with civility and under- standing; and use university resources and facilities in ap- propriate ways consistent with their purpose and in accor- dance with applicable polices.

FIGURE 4.11 Using parallel structures

to create coherence.

rewording is needed to fit the final items into a parallel structure. (See Example 9.2.)

Defining, describing, and explaining As a technical communicator, you will frequently adjust your writing to meet the expectations of readers who have varying levels of knowl- edge of the subject matter. In one document, you might address read- ers with a sophisticated knowledge of a related field but incomplete knowledge of your subject, for example, health care workers who need to perform a new treatment procedure. This audience requires less background explanation than a lay or novice audience needs. The health care workers would already know related procedures, so you could build on their existing knowledge. If you are writing primarily

EXAMPLE 9.1 Arenadeck® has many features that make it a good choice for this proj- ect. The most important features are as follows: • Non-absorbent • Lightweight • Extremely durable • Provides sound and thermal insulation • Resists contamination • No warping or deforming • No flaking, delaminating, or crumbling • Easy to handle for fast and effective installation and removal • Non-porous • Non-sticking to ice • Easy to clean with just low-pressure washer or floor scrubber • Covered by a y-year manufacturer's warranty

EXAMPLE 9.2 Arenadeck® is • Non-absorbent • Lightweight • Extremely durable • Easy to handle for fast and effective installation and removal ,. Non-porous " Non-sticking to ice • Easy to clean with just a low-pressure washer or floor scrubber " Covered by a y-year manufacturer's warranty

Additional useful features include the fact that it z Provides sound and thermal insulation • Resists contamination • Will not warp or deform 11 Will not flake, delaminate, or crumble

From Graves and Graves'

FOUR• WRITING TECHNICAL PROSE

tor novices, you might define unfamiliar technical terms and generally explain related technical concepts. The general description helps read- ers gain a basic idea of the subject without overwhelming them with details. If you are writing an operation manual for a new product, such as a new magnetic resonance imaging machine (MRI), you might include an illustration and description of the key features of the new design before you begin the instructions. These scenarios identify two techniques that technical communicators use to produce top quality documents: definition and description.

Definition and description are useful tools. Definitions are used to explain subject matter related to concepts or terms. If readers are unfamiliar with a term, a well-placed definition can educate them exactly when they need it. Sometimes a term may have different meanings in different contexts, so you define it to clarify how you are using it in your document. A clear definition removes potential confusion and ambiguity. A description is a verbal portrait of some- thing-an object or an event.

DEFINITION

Definitions come in three kinds: • Brief • Formal or categorical • Extended

Brief definition A brief definition is the practice of clarifying the meaning of a word by substituting a more familiar synonym (i.e., a parenthetical defini- tion) or restating a word in different terms to make its meaning clear. For example, in an introduction to Middle Eastern cuisine, the writer uses parenthetical definitions to define clearly and concisely the two terms in the sentence that may be unfamiliar to cooks new to this cuisine: "Tahini (sesame seed paste) is a central ingredient of hum- mus (chick pea dip), as well as several other popular dishes."

Use a brief definition when your readers do not need detailed infor- mation. In the previous example, the parenthetical inserts clarify the potentially unfamiliar terms, and readers who understand the terms without help can ignore these definitions. The following is also a brief definition, although it is longer than the parenthetical versions in the first example:

109

The Archirnedean screw is a wooden pump that was developed two millennia ago. The screw is encased in a cylinder, and water is lifted up by the screw when the handle is turned. When the water reaches the top of the screw, it pours out, into a pitcher or basin placed to catch it.

110 A STRATEGIC GU IDE TO TECHNICAL COM MUN I CATION

I N·CLASS EXERCISE 4.9

Writing Categorical Definitions Choose three technical terms from one of your areas of expertise, and write categori- cal definitions for each, being sure that the features you use to describe the term differenti- ate it from other members of the larger class.

TABLE 4.3 Parts of a formal or

categorical definition.

This definition explains how the Archimedean screw raises water from a river or well to ground level or higher. Two sentences pro- vide you with the main components of the device as well as a brief description of how it works. Unless you are explaining how to build one, this explanation is probably sufficient for most readers.

Formal or categorical definition A formal or categorical definition dates back to Aristotle's time in ancient Greece (500 BCE) and consists of three parts:

• The term • The class • The features

Here are several examples of categorical definitions (i.e., they "cat- egorize" the term):

• An LED (light-emitting diode) [the term] is the simplest type of semiconductor [the class] that is a small light bulb without a filament and that doesn't get hot [the features].

• Saturated fats [the term] are fats produced from animals !the class] that are solid at room temperature and liquid when heated [the features].

• Wind turbines [the term] are power generators [the class] that create electricity from the power of the wind [the features].

The challenge to writing an accurate categorical definition is to use the three parts to specialize the description progressively so that the features listed pertain only to the term being defined. That is, the term lists an unfamiliar concept for readers (wind turbines); the class groups the concept into a larger group that shares some characteris- tics (power generators-methods of generating electricity from such things as water or nuclear fission); and finally the features describe the concept further by distinguishing it from the larger group (uses wind power). Notice that the definition progresses from the specific term to the more general category to the specific details, so that by the time you describe the features, they should be aspects that apply to the small group only and not to the larger group.

Term Class Features

LED Semiconductor

---- ---

Saturated fat Fats from animals

Wind turbines Power generators

• Light bulb without a filament • Doesn't get hot

• Solid at room temperature • Liquid when heated

------~

• Create electricity from the power of the wind

110 A STRATEGIC GUIDE TO TECHNICAL COMMUNICATION

IN-CLASS EXERCISE 4,9

TABLE 4•3 Parts of a formal or

categorical definition.

Formal or categorical definition A formal or categorical definition dates back to Aristotle's time in ancient Greece (500 BCE) and consists of three parts:

• The term • The class • The features

Here are several examples of categorical definitions (i.e., they "cat- egorize" the term):

• An LED (light-emitting diode) [the term] is the simplest type of semiconductor [the class] that is a small light bulb without a filament and that doesn't get hot [the features].

• Saturated fats [the term] are fats produced from animals [the class] that are solid at room temperature and liquid when heated [ the features].

• Wind turbines [the term] are power generators [the class] that create electricity from the power of the wind [the features].

Term Class Features

LED

Saturated fat

Semiconductor

Fats from animals

• Light bulb without a filament • Doesn't get hot

Wind turbines Power generators

• Solid at room temperature • Liquid when heated

---·---

-~-----·-----------------------

• Create electricity from the power of the wind

FOUR• WRITING TECHNICAL PROSE III

HOW AN ATOMIC CLOCK WORKS

An atomic clock is a precise timekeeper based on measuring the electrical oscillation of an atom, such as cesium 133. An atomic clock keeps time by exciting a series of atoms, passing them through magnetic and microwave fields to alter their energy states, and, from their oscil- lation frequency, calculating the exact interval of one second.

An atomic clock works by heating cesium in a vacuum tube until the atoms boil. As they boil off, they move down the tube and pass through a magnetic field (the first of two that they will move through). This field collects cesium atoms of the correct energy state, which then pass through a microwave field generated by a crystal oscillator. At some point in each cycle, the microwave field crosses the frequency of 9,192,631,770 Hertz (cycles per second). The cesium atoms change their energy state when they come in contact with this frequency.

A second magnetic field at the far end of the vacuum tube collects those atoms that have changed their energy state. A detector measures the output of changed atoms striking it, and when the output peaks, the peak is used to correct the crystal oscillator and bring the micro- wave field to the exact frequency. The exact frequency is then divided by 9,192,631,770, which gives one pulse per second, the basic unit of time on our terrestrial clocks.

FIGURE 4.12 Operational definition of an atomic clock.

Source: Information adapted from howstujfworks.com.

Extended definition .-\ third type of definition that you may use is the extended definition, which refers to a more detailed characterization than the previous two. Use them when readers need more detail. The length should be based on both your readers' needs and your purpose in writing it: it may be as short as a paragraph or as long as several pages.

While your choices for creating a brief, parenthetical definition or even a formal, categorical definition are limited, your options for expanding a definition are several. Here is a list of strategies for developing extended definitions and descriptions:

• Operational definition • Negative definition • Description of parts • History/background • Etymology • Examples • Cause and effect • Analogy/comparison

OPERATIONAL DEFINITION

An operational definition explains how something works to define what it is. To organize and develop an operational definition, use these three steps: 1. Describe the whole device-that is, give an overview to orient

your reader. 2. Explain in detail how the parts work together.

IN-CLASS EXERCISE 4.10

Distinguish an Operational Definition from a Set of Instructions • Which of the two passages

in Figure 4.13 is the defini- tion and which is the set of instructions? How can you tell?

• If you tried to make a biscuit joint using only the extended definition, how successful do you think your joint would be? Explain why you think this.

Write down a list of the nota- ble characteristics that distin- guish an operational definition from a set of instructions.

II2 A STRATEGIC GUIDE TO TECHNICAL COMMUNICATION

3. Conclude by explaining how the parts work to get the job done.

Figure 4.12 uses this organizational pattern to explain how an atomic clock works. It begins with a brief definition, identifying the two aspects of this clock: how it works and what it's made of. Next it summarizes the clock's components.

The second paragraph identifies the main parts of the clock and explains how they work together. The third paragraph shows how the parts interact to correct one another to measure the one-second interval accurately.

FIGURE 4.13 An operational definition and a set of instructions.

HO\\''! fa.N OPER/.,,T10 P.L. D FINiTIO!\l DIFFERE-NT FROM ,D.. SET OF

1 N s, 1w c11 o N ,' Some students are initially confus~d about the dif- ference between a set of instructions and an operational definition, especially when they try to define a process operationally. Examine Figure 4.13, and write a paragraph describing how the definition treats the subject matter compared to how the instructions treat it.

,f\. HOW A BISCUIT JOINER WORKS

A biscuit joiner is a small hand-held tool that cuts thin, half-moon-shaped slices of wood from the vertical sides of planed boards so that they can form a strong joint when they are glued together. Think of your tabletop, which is usually fashioned from a series of planks joined side by side. Small, oval wafers of wood coated with glue are then inserted into the half- moon-shaped incisions in the planks and clamped together until the glue dries. A series of skillfully cut biscuit joints will result in a perfectly flat, almost seamless looking tabletop that is both sturdy and beautiful.

a. H\'.)W TO MAKE A BISCt.nr IOINT

To make a biscuit joint, you will need the following:

" Two planks of equal thickness " Waterproof wood glue "' Three or four 5 cm biscuit wafers •· Two or three pipe clamps • Biscuit joiner

1. Calculate how many joints you will need (space them 8 to 12 inches apart).

2. Mark their locations on the right side of one plank and the left side of the other (i.e., the two surfaces that you will be joining together).

3. Hold the joiner parallel to the edge where you plan to make the joints.

4. Following your placement marks, depress trigger and form first joint.

FOUR• WRITING TECHNICAL PROSE

NEGATIVE DEFINITION

Another strategy for developing an extended definition or descrip- tion is to use a negative definition. That is, describe what the term or concept is not to highlight what it is. Figure 4.14 uses a negative definition to explain the difference between a mummy and a fossil.

DESCRIPTION OF PARTS

.\ third technique for developing an extended definition is to describe the parts of a term or concept. You can use a labeled visual to depict the parts, or you can use a prose description, or both, as illustrated in Figure 4.15. The visual labels the major parts of a sewing machine that are mentioned in the prose description. The prose adds informa- tion about how the parts work together. Between the two media, readers gain an understanding of the machine as a whole and how it works.

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HISTORY OR BACKGROUND

A fourth technique for extending a definition is to provide history or background for the term or concept. For example, describe who invented the device or machine and when (if this information is appropriate): "Nanotechnology first entered the scientific lexicon back in 1959 in a talk given by Nohel Prize-winning physicist Rich- ard Feynman, when he proposed a new kind of manufacturing that would start with atoms and build up, in contrast to traditional man- ufacturing which starts with a large quantity of material and cuts away until it creates the finished product."

Another tactic is to elaborate the problem that the device or con- cept was intended to solve. Figure 4.16 provides an example of an extended definition that elaborates the problem that beta-blocker medication was intended to solve.

A third strategy is to highlight key moments through history to show different nuances in the development of the idea or concept. Here is an example:

The idea of cold fusion has motivated scientific research since the nineteenth century when the ability of palladium to absorb hydro- gen was first recognized. In the early twentieth century, several scientists claimed to have fused hydrogen into helium using pal- ladium electrodes. In 1989, two chemists, Stanley Pons and Martin Fleischmann, announced a series of experiments in which they had produced excess heat that appeared to be due to a nuclear reaction. The term "cold fusion," originally invented in 1986 by Paul Palmer for his work with "gco-fusion," was appropriated for the work by Pons and Fleischmann in 1989. (Source: Information adapted from howstuffworks.com)

WHAT IS A MUMMY?

A mummy is the body of a person or animal in which some of the soft tissue, such as the organs or skin, does not decay. In the case of a mummy, the actual body of the corpse is preserved, either through natural or human pro· cesses. In this way, a mummy is different from a skeleton or fossil. A skeleton is the bones from the body without any soft tissue. A fossil preserves the shape of the body (or plant) but the body then changes and hardens into rock.

r: URE 4.14 An example of a negative definition.

A STRATE GIC GUIDE TO TECHNICAL COMMUNICATION

Thread guide

Feed dogs

Stitch guide

A sewing machine consists of several moving and stationary parts. A post on the top holds the spool of thread, while the loose end of the thread is inserted into THREAD GUI DES down the front of the ma- chine, through the PRESSER FOOT thread guide, to the hole in the needle. On the front side of the machine, you will see three separate sets of knobs: three across the top, one on the left side, and one on the right side. The three knobs at the top (STITCH CONTROLS) allow you to select different types of stitches, as well as control the width of the stitches. The knob on the right upright (STITCH Gu I DE) allows you to control the length of the stitch. The knob on the left side (TH READ Gu I DE) controls the thread tension, as well as guiding the thread while the machine is running. Under the needle, a series of serrated plates are cal led the FEED DOG s, and they move the fabric under the needle as you sew.

FIGURE 4.15 This figure uses both a labeled visual and a description to educate readers

on the parts of a sewing machine.

ETYMOLOGY

Explaining the etymology of a word is sometimes a useful tactic for elaborating an extended definition. By exploring the origin of the meaning of the term, you can help readers to understand its nuances. Here is an example from the Concise Oxford Dictionary: "Hydra- tion is the noun form based on the verb 'hydrate,' which means 'to combine chemically with water ... [or] cause to absorb water,' and it comes from the Greek word for water, hudrr."

EXAMPLES

Giving one or a series of examples is another way to make a concept or term clearer to readers. For example, the various figures in this section of the chapter are intended to help you to see some of the possibilities for defining or describing technical phenomena, so as to assist you in your own work. As you can see, an example fills in the details and answers questions that a brief statement may raise. It can also spark an inspiration for a good way to complete a task.

CAUSE AND EFFECT

Another way to describe or define a term or concept is to use cause and effect to explain a process or procedure. For example, Figure 4.17 is part of a longer discussion on groundwater pollution. In defining the factors that contribute to groundwater pollution, the writer elaborates what is meant by "human decisions" by providing an example of how farmers may use pesticides. The decision to apply

FOUR• WRITING TECHNICAL PROSE 115

WHAT ARE BETA-BLOCKER MEDICATIONS?

Beta-blockers are medications used to treat heart disease including atrial fibrillation.

Atrial fibrillation (or congestive heart failure) refers to an irregular heartbeat caused by the disorganized contraction of the heart cham- bers. In a healthy heart, the chambers contract in a specific pattern. As electrical impulses travel through the chambers, they set off contrac- tions, signaling to the right and left atria to contract. When the atria contract, they pump blood to the ventricles. In the ventricles, the electric impulse stimulates the right ventricle to pump blood to the lungs, while the left ventricle gets a message to pump blood to the rest of the body.

In a person who has atrial fibrillation, this normal rhythm does not hap- pen. Instead the electrical impulses travel randomly through the heart chambers, triggering disorganized contractions that cause a variety of problems and symptoms, resulting in shortness of breath, chest pain, and possibly stroke.

Beta-blockers, used to treat patients with stable atrial fibrillation, work by slowing the heart rate ....

Groundwater pollution takes place when a number of critical factors are in place. These factors include the type of chemical, the type of soil around the chemical, the proximity of the groundwater at the site, and the decisions of humans at the site. For example, the method used to apply pesticides to a field, as well as the amount used and the timing of the application, can all determine whether the pesticide will reach groundwater reservoirs. If the pesticide is incorporated into the soil, the likelihood that it leaches through the soil will be much higher than if it were applied to foliage or surfaces. Again, if the pesticide is applied im- mediately before irrigation or a heavy rain, the chances are much higher that it will leach into the soil rather than serving as an effective barrier to crop infestations.

FIGURE 4.16 This example elaborates one of the medical problems that the medication being defined (beta-blocker) is used to treat.

FIGURE 4.17 This example uses both cause and effect (how the pesticide is applied, the likely outcome) and example (human decisions).

a pesticide into the soil around plants can lead to the increased likeli- hood of it leaching through the soil to the groundwater. In addition, deciding to apply the pesticide immediately before irrigating the field or before a downpour is another cause that can lead to the pesticide being washed off the field and into drainage ditches (effect) and even- tually into groundwater supplies.

ANALOGY/COMPARISON

Another effective way to explain a complex concept is to use a com- parison or an analogy-that is, to compare the new idea to an ordi- nary or well-known concept or thing. The areas of similarity between

II6 A STRATEGIC GUIDE TO TECHNICAL COMMUNICATION

FIGURE 4.18 In this passage the writer draws an analogy between a potential energy well (in quantum physics) and the

furrows in a ploughed field to make clear the significant characteristics

of a potential energy well.

Source: Heather Craves, Rhetoric in(to) Science (Cresskill, NJ Hampton, 2005).

WHAT IS A POTENTIAL ENERGY WELL? A potential energy well is a one-dimensional well (imagine the furrows in a ploughed field where the individual furrow extends indefinitely in either direction but is bounded on either side by the adjacent fur- rows) in which a particle or electron is trapped in the well with infinite boundaries (the length of the furrow) and infinite barriers (the adjacent furrows). The particle (or electron) can move along the plane of the well, but it cannot move through the barrier. After the particle becomes trapped in the well, however, its energy can become "quantized." If the barrier has a finite height and width, therrthe quantized particle can "tunnel" or move through the barrier, rendering it essentially transparent.

the two entities can help readers understand the key features of the unfamiliar concept and more quickly comprehend it. Figure 4.18 uses an analogy to help readers understand a sophisticated scientific idea, the quantum or potential energy well.

In this case, comparing the quantum well to the furrows of a ploughed field helps readers to imagine the significant features of this type of well and to understand what action is taking place when particles become quantized and tunnel through the barrier.

LAB ASSIGNMENT 4.1

IDENTIFYING METHODS OF DEFINING, DESCRIBING, AND EXPLAINING

Using the Internet, find three or four good examples of extended definitions (howstuffworks.com is a good place to start). Analyze each example to determine which strategies the writer has used to develop the expanded defini- tion or description.

Write a memo reporting the results of your analysis of the three or four examples:

• Which strategies seemed most popular? Useful? (Quote the text critical to your analysis as evidence for your conclusions.)

• Did you identify any strategies that were not mentioned in this section? If so, include them in your report. • Then write a paragraph explaining which strategies were most popular and why you think they work well in these cases.

LAB ASSIGNMENT 4.2

DEFINING OR DESCRIBING A TECHNICAL CONCEPT OR DEVICE

Select a technical concept or device and write a definition or description of it using as many of the strate- gies from this section of Chapter 4 as you can.

• Select a specific audience for your definition/description (not a general audience, but one with a certain level of knowledge of the subject matter).

• Length depends on the complexity of the topic and the needs of your audience.