Shorpy Photo Analysis
Katlina
GradedPhotoAnalysiswithCommentsforRevisionJFKAssassinationFrame313.docx
Grading and Revising Sheet for Image Analysis, ENGL 1302 _32_ / 50
64%, a D.
Robert Potter “JFK Assassination, Frame 313”
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__2__ 3 pts. Distinctive title, with some pre-thesis “What?” and, ideally, “So what?”, too.
The title clearly and distinctively identifies the paper’s subject, the “What?,” but it could say more about why that subject matters, the “So what?,” perhaps in a subtitle.
Here’s an example of a “So what?” subtitle added to the original title:
JFK Assassination, Frame 313: Ballistic Evidence that
Challenges the Assassination Consensus
__1__2 pts. APA format on title page and paper headings
Close but not quite APA format. See the link to APA format (7th ed., student paper format that I posted in Announcements in Canvas. Note that the title appears on the second page and that it is bolded both there and on the title page. Also, you don’t need quotation marks around your own title.
__1__1 pt. Photograph, not another image medium
An easy one – even as a frame from a home movie this image still meets the assignment’s requirements.
__3__6 pts. Active voice with transitive verbs (SVO) only in every clause of each
paragraph’s first sentence
I’ve inserted comments into the original essay below for each of the four sentences that open a paragraph. These comments follow the sentence and are set off by brackets, “[ . . .]. Remember that if a sentence has more than one clause, it will have more than one example of active or passive voice or another form. All of the clauses must be in active voice with transitive verbs. A transitive verb has an object. For example, the object of the verb “has” in the preceding sentence is “object.”
At the sentence level, the scoring is all or nothing. For example, if you had one clause in active voice and one that isn’t, you would get no points for that sentence. However, at the paper level, you may get partial credit in this criterion. Two out of four of the opening sentences here use active only; I converted this ration to 3/6 here in awarding credit. Again, see the comments in the body of the paper below for more detail.
__3__3 pts. Bolded thesis in first paragraph
An important one – if you don’t bold your thesis you will miss out on points both here and in the next criterion.
__4__8 pts. Divisible, debatable, thesis with engaging “motivating move” claim easily seen
in bolded thesis
Factually accurate thesis, but what makes this photo so significant? What debatable claim that the paper will argue could be made here? Why should a reader care about this frame from the Zapruder film in particular? Essentially, as with the title, the thesis needs an explicit “So what?” to provide a motivating move for the paper’s readers.
__2__2 pts. “Who, what, where, and when” –level introduction
__ 2__3 pts. Historical context with explicit connections to the photo
Why was Kennedy in Dallas? Why are the facts of this assassination still debated? Why is this event especially historically significant? Does the existence of the Zapruder film influence how we interpret the president’s murder?
__3__4 pts. Cited visual, historical or other evidence from the photo to support thesis and
topicsentence claims
How does the evidence of this particular frame of the film relate to the conspiracy theories? For what claim(s), should it be seen as evidence?
Should readers find the umbrella-man-as-second-gunman theory persuasive? Why or why not? And what does frame 313 say about that?
Note that the paper is a little short.
__1__3 pts. APA in-text citation
Cite information that is not “common knowledge.” Most of the time, you will include the author’s name and the source’s publication date, for example, “(Zapruder, 1963)” at the end of a sentence or “Zapruder (1963) preserves essential evidence.” In responding to the original submission, I wrote “Refer to Zapruder by last name. Cite Zapruder in parenthetical in-text citation as the frame's author. The author or title listed in the in-text citation needs to match the first thing listed under references, and vice-versa.”
Think of in-text citation as a primitive version of an embedded link. “Zapruder” in the text can be clicked to take you to the source’s full listing under “References.”
__4__7 pts. Grammar, sentence structure, punctuation
Comma splice: He was seen waving his black umbrella around in the Zupruder film, it is still not known to this day if him spinning the umbrella was a signal to shoot or that he fired a dart from the umbrella.
A comma splice occurs when two potentially independent parts of sentence (usually clauses) are joined with a comma, creating confusion for the reader. The problematic comma here is after “film.” The comma splice could be fixed by inserting a semi-colon, a period, a comma with a coordinating conjunction: “film, and it is still not known.”
I’ve noted other problems in the photo analysis itself. I’ve lumped spelling under this category.
__1__2 pts. APA reference list
Use hanging indents and only the first initial of source’s first names. See the sample essays, both in Files, and in the Online Writing Lab’s APA sample paper link posted in Announcements.
__2__3 pts. Effective transitions, “known-new” contracts between sentences and
paragraphs
Remind your reader of your thesis and how each paragraph supports that thesis. The motivating move here will often be a “part shows us something about a bigger thing” argument. How might that relationship between Frame 313 and the Kennedy assassination be better developed?
__3__3 pts. Conclusion consistent with thesis
Robert Potter
Dr. Bond: English II
February 27, 2021
[Bolded, centered title needed here.]
Early morning November 22, 1963, amateur photographer Abraham Zupruder set out to record the arrival of his hero in Dallas, Texas.
[This sentence has only one clause, and its verb, “set,” is active, and “set” is transitive, taking the object “to record”] The 35th President and his wife, Jackie Kennedy rode through Dealey Plaza in Dallas, Texas.
Abraham Zupruder set out with his Bell & Howell camera and captured the gruesome death of President John F. Kennedy. At approximately 12:30 p.m., the President was pronounced dead shortly after arriving at a local hospital. According to
100times.photo.com, Richard Stolley (LIFE magazine worker) bought the film the following day and the magazine ran 31 of the 486 frames. The famous image, Frame 313 captured President Kennedy getting shot in the head.
Out of 486 frames, Abraham Zupruder captured one of the most important pieces of history . [This sentence has only one clause, and its verb, “captured,” is active, and “captured” is transitive, taking the object “one.”] When Zupruder filmed with his Bell & Howell camera, he captures a bullet that struck Kennedy in the back and then a second one that hit him in the head. What Abraham captured that day would haunt him forever ( 100photos.time.com). Could you imagine dealing with such a gruesome image that the whole world would be talking about? Almost 58 years ago this image was captured, and it is still talked about till this day calling him one of the best-loved Presidents in American history ( history.com).
Twenty-four-year-old Lee Harvey Oswald had been arrested for the killing. [This sentence has only one clause. Unlike the first two sentences, the subject here, “Lee Harvey Oswald” doesn’t do the sentence’s action. Instead, it is done to him, “had been arrested]. Many theories began to pop up following the death of the President. It is believed that the KGB (Committee for State Security), the Mafia or the U.S military had to be a reason on the killing. Jack Ruby, a nightclub owner shot Lee Harvey Oswald two days later after the killing and died from a wound. Another theory is the “umbrella man” known as Louie Steven Witt. He was seen waving his black umbrella around in the Zupruder film, it is still not known to this day if him spinning the umbrella was a signal to shoot or that he fired a dart from the umbrella. [ Another comma splice in this last sentence. The paper isn’t making an argument yet.]
There are many conspiracy theories on how President John F. Kennedy was assassinated but what photographer Abraham Zupruder captured shocked the world. [This sentence has four clauses. The first, “There are,” is neither active nor passive. The second, “Kennedy was assassinated,” uses passive voice. The third clause, “photographer Abraham Zupruder captured” is active, but not transitive. Only the fourth clause, “what . . . shocked the world” is both in active voice and transititive.] In the photo, you can see his wife, Jackie Kennedy moving to his assistance. Zapruder set out in the morning to capture the arrival of his hero but what he captured would haunt him for the rest of his life. This photograph stands out to me because of the history of it. The film was only 26.5 seconds that captured the whole thing. Now in 2021, we have better technology and security to try and prevent stuff like this from happening.
References:
History.com Editors (2019), John F. Kennedy, Retrieved from https://www.history.com/topics/us-presidents/john-f-kennedy
Wikipedia.com Editors (2021), Umbrella Man (JFK assassination), Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Umbrella_man_(JFK_assassination)
Zapruder, Abraham (1963), JFK Assassination, Frame 313, Retrieved from http://100photos.time.com/photos/jfk-assassination-abraham-zapruder-frame-313
