Can this be done in 7 hours?

WEBVTT 00:06:20.000 --> 00:06:23.000 Catch me. 00:06:23.000 --> 00:06:41.000 Try hard to love me. 00:06:41.000 --> 00:06:45.000 Have you seen my childhood? 00:06:45.000 --> 00:06:59.000 Hello. 00:06:59.000 --> 00:07:12.000 Thank you. 00:07:12.000 --> 00:07:21.000 Cause I love such 00:07:21.000 --> 00:07:29.000 It's beautiful. 00:07:29.000 --> 00:07:47.000 For the child. 00:07:47.000 --> 00:07:50.000 Have you seen my child? 00:07:50.000 --> 00:07:53.000 Good. 00:07:53.000 --> 00:07:56.000 I'm searching for that wandering 00:07:56.000 --> 00:08:00.000 my youth like fantastic 00:08:00.000 --> 00:08:03.000 stories to share. 00:08:03.000 --> 00:08:17.000 Dreams I would dare. 00:08:17.000 --> 00:08:28.000 Try hard to love me. The painful for you 00:08:28.000 --> 00:08:39.000 I've had. 00:08:39.000 --> 00:08:42.000 Have you seen? 00:08:42.000 --> 00:09:00.000 My child. 00:09:00.000 --> 00:09:06.000 Okay. 00:09:06.000 --> 00:09:08.000 Finally. 00:09:08.000 --> 00:09:11.000 childhood trauma. 00:09:11.000 --> 00:09:16.000 What stood out for you as you listened to those words? 00:09:16.000 --> 00:09:21.000 Childhood. 00:09:21.000 --> 00:09:31.000 It reminded me of how sometimes you talk about the parentification of children who've been in abusive homes who end up having to be the parent. 00:09:31.000 --> 00:09:32.000 Mm-hmm. 00:09:32.000 --> 00:09:34.000 And it just it made me think about that when he's like. 00:09:34.000 --> 00:09:36.000 Because obviously you're seeing kids and all in it. 00:09:36.000 --> 00:09:39.000 And he was a child, but he never really had. 00:09:39.000 --> 00:09:42.000 what we would consider a normal childhood. 00:09:42.000 --> 00:09:45.000 A normal childhood. Hmm. 00:09:45.000 --> 00:09:47.000 What's a normal childhood? 00:09:47.000 --> 00:09:51.000 I guess an unabusive one is what I mean. 00:09:51.000 --> 00:09:53.000 I hear you. 00:09:53.000 --> 00:09:57.000 ask myself that question all the time. 00:09:57.000 --> 00:09:59.000 what's normal? 00:09:59.000 --> 00:10:04.000 Daddy, mommy, two kids, car, two garage, house. 00:10:04.000 --> 00:10:09.000 corn, a cat, the dog, a parakeet. 00:10:09.000 --> 00:10:12.000 Is that normal? 00:10:12.000 --> 00:10:16.000 Have you seen my childhood? 00:10:16.000 --> 00:10:18.000 In order to understand me. 00:10:18.000 --> 00:10:20.000 Oliver James Davis, have you really 00:10:20.000 --> 00:10:25.000 Taking the time to see my childhood. 00:10:25.000 --> 00:10:26.000 What else stood out for you? 00:10:26.000 --> 00:10:29.000 We're going to talk about this tonight. 00:10:29.000 --> 00:10:30.000 Thank you. 00:10:30.000 --> 00:10:33.000 I saw the way he was sitting almost in a vulnerable state 00:10:33.000 --> 00:10:34.000 Mm-hmm. 00:10:34.000 --> 00:10:36.000 just very closed offish. 00:10:36.000 --> 00:10:37.000 Hmm. 00:10:37.000 --> 00:10:41.000 very shy, didn't want to 00:10:41.000 --> 00:10:44.000 kind of very closed off. 00:10:44.000 --> 00:10:46.000 What does that mean to you? 00:10:46.000 --> 00:10:51.000 Almost trying to protect his inner self. 00:10:51.000 --> 00:10:53.000 You know, didn't want to put 00:10:53.000 --> 00:10:56.000 himself out there. 00:10:56.000 --> 00:10:58.000 If you sat in front of my grandmother. 00:10:58.000 --> 00:11:02.000 And I had my arms. I can still see it. She's been gone now. 00:11:02.000 --> 00:11:08.000 For 23 years. But I could still see it. I'm sitting on her couch. 00:11:08.000 --> 00:11:12.000 And I would plop down and I would have my arms like this and she'll look over at me. 00:11:12.000 --> 00:11:15.000 She said, boy, what you holding on to? 00:11:15.000 --> 00:11:19.000 I said, huh? She said, what you holding on to? 00:11:19.000 --> 00:11:25.000 She said, what you holding on to? What's bothering you? 00:11:25.000 --> 00:11:28.000 What am I holding on to? 00:11:28.000 --> 00:11:32.000 Within the last 24 hours, I've had four people that died that I know. 00:11:32.000 --> 00:11:36.000 And so on Facebook, it's been crazy. 00:11:36.000 --> 00:11:41.000 What am I holding on to this pain? 00:11:41.000 --> 00:11:48.000 you couldn't see that in my bow tie. You couldn't see that. I'm dressed up in Halloween colors. 00:11:48.000 --> 00:11:54.000 What are our kids holding on to when they come to our schools, when they come to our therapy sessions? 00:11:54.000 --> 00:11:57.000 And grandma, if she saw you holding like that. 00:11:57.000 --> 00:12:01.000 Because this is a vulnerable state. Anybody scared of terror blinks on the plane? 00:12:01.000 --> 00:12:03.000 Besides me. 00:12:03.000 --> 00:12:10.000 Okay, yeah, I know. Okay. I know some of y'all don't want to admit it, but I am. I will admit that I have anxiety and I'm sitting up there. 00:12:10.000 --> 00:12:20.000 In fact, I had a blow on the plane. The flight attendant said, you need a therapist one time. I said, I am a therapist. Just pass me the bag, please. Just pass me the bag. 00:12:20.000 --> 00:12:22.000 So sweet. 00:12:22.000 --> 00:12:31.000 Goodness. And I held on and held on. The best time I had it, I had a nun sitting next to me. She had a little rosary. I said, pray for me, please. 00:12:31.000 --> 00:12:36.000 We're going down. At least we'll go down with a prayer. 00:12:36.000 --> 00:12:40.000 So, you know, it's amazing what we hold on to the trauma 00:12:40.000 --> 00:12:43.000 the fear that we hold on to. 00:12:43.000 --> 00:12:47.000 I think today a lot of the kids fear their safety. 00:12:47.000 --> 00:12:52.000 Going to school. And I remember going to school. I didn't have to have those fears. 00:12:52.000 --> 00:12:54.000 Hmm. 00:12:54.000 --> 00:12:56.000 When they get to school. 00:12:56.000 --> 00:13:00.000 They fear walking, going to the bus stop. We have fights at the bus stop. 00:13:00.000 --> 00:13:03.000 A little girl came to me this morning. 00:13:03.000 --> 00:13:06.000 And this girl had threatened her. I decided to get on the bus with her? No. 00:13:06.000 --> 00:13:10.000 That's where they have to start off with out there on the bus because they're on the bus 00:13:10.000 --> 00:13:13.000 I had to go talk to the bus driver. I have to have another setup. 00:13:13.000 --> 00:13:16.000 up there at your bus stop. 00:13:16.000 --> 00:13:19.000 Where's the fear coming from? What's holding them in? 00:13:19.000 --> 00:13:22.000 Whereas making them vulnerable, you notice where he was sitting. 00:13:22.000 --> 00:13:26.000 I think sometimes, because I also work in a middle school 00:13:26.000 --> 00:13:29.000 And what they fear 00:13:29.000 --> 00:13:32.000 Because when they get to school. 00:13:32.000 --> 00:13:36.000 you know they've left home, they've left the responsibilities, they've left that there 00:13:36.000 --> 00:13:43.000 they have a whole different set of anxieties. How do I look? How am I dressed? Are people talking about me? 00:13:43.000 --> 00:13:45.000 is the gossip train circling. 00:13:45.000 --> 00:13:54.000 to the point that it's created so much anxiety. We've had three fights this week that they happen like just at the edge of school and the library. 00:13:54.000 --> 00:13:58.000 So they don't think that there's any ramifications 00:13:58.000 --> 00:14:07.000 And now it's created the fear of that safety of I leave home and I come to school and then I leave again, is something going to happen to me? 00:14:07.000 --> 00:14:09.000 Yeah. 00:14:09.000 --> 00:14:11.000 Safety, scary. 00:14:11.000 --> 00:14:15.000 I can't focus if I'm going to get beat up 00:14:15.000 --> 00:14:17.000 Mm-hmm. 00:14:17.000 --> 00:14:21.000 Oh, there's a Russian up there today. I saw some kids rushing. 00:14:21.000 --> 00:14:25.000 Because they want to make sure they get breakfast. 00:14:25.000 --> 00:14:28.000 They don't get breakfast and not lunch. 00:14:28.000 --> 00:14:31.000 They don't get fed. 00:14:31.000 --> 00:14:35.000 Breakfast and lunch is the only meals they get. 00:14:35.000 --> 00:14:38.000 I used to, I live here in South Bend, Indiana. 00:14:38.000 --> 00:14:41.000 And it snows here a lot. 00:14:41.000 --> 00:14:44.000 Sometimes 15, 20 plus inches. 00:14:44.000 --> 00:14:48.000 And when they just say, South Bend School is closed. I said, yay. 00:14:48.000 --> 00:14:53.000 Jump back in my bed and I slept like a little kid. 00:14:53.000 --> 00:14:55.000 And then I thought about it. 00:14:55.000 --> 00:15:03.000 When we know a storm is coming, we can do a little bit better. We have, but sometimes this shows up on us because we have lake effects now. 00:15:03.000 --> 00:15:10.000 And that means that that day, those kids won't get fed. 00:15:10.000 --> 00:15:13.000 So as I jump up and down. 00:15:13.000 --> 00:15:20.000 For them, they're not going to jump up and down because they have to stay around the house with no food. 00:15:20.000 --> 00:15:24.000 makes you think again. Have you seen my childhood? 00:15:24.000 --> 00:15:26.000 My childhood doesn't like to have 00:15:26.000 --> 00:15:29.000 school closed because my meals are gone. 00:15:29.000 --> 00:15:33.000 My breakfast is gone. My lunch is gone. My afternoon snack is gone. 00:15:33.000 --> 00:15:36.000 or have to stay in an abusive house. 00:15:36.000 --> 00:15:42.000 During COVID was rough. More challenges, more issues than everything else was amazing. 00:15:42.000 --> 00:15:45.000 Have you seen my childhood? Some of the words. 00:15:45.000 --> 00:15:48.000 It says this. 00:15:48.000 --> 00:15:52.000 Before you judge me. 00:15:52.000 --> 00:15:56.000 Try hard to love me. 00:15:56.000 --> 00:15:59.000 Before you judge me. 00:15:59.000 --> 00:16:04.000 Try hard to let me. He said it several times through the song. 00:16:04.000 --> 00:16:06.000 What comes to mind? 00:16:06.000 --> 00:16:08.000 I actually wrote those words down. 00:16:08.000 --> 00:16:10.000 When the song was playing, I wrote the book. 00:16:10.000 --> 00:16:11.000 Yeah. 00:16:11.000 --> 00:16:13.000 Great judgment try to love me as the 00:16:13.000 --> 00:16:16.000 The thing that stuck out to me most and then um 00:16:16.000 --> 00:16:20.000 Next to it, I wrote, instead of just looking at what you see initially superficially. 00:16:20.000 --> 00:16:24.000 Take the time to see me as a story. 00:16:24.000 --> 00:16:25.000 And my parents. 00:16:25.000 --> 00:16:27.000 Tell me more about the story. 00:16:27.000 --> 00:16:36.000 You know, I remember watching one of the first things that comes to mind right now is just this Instagram post that I saw some time ago. 00:16:36.000 --> 00:16:41.000 And this woman said it in another way. She says, I am not just this event. 00:16:41.000 --> 00:16:43.000 I am a series of events. 00:16:43.000 --> 00:16:44.000 Oh. 00:16:44.000 --> 00:16:48.000 And they all connect somehow. You know, she's going on this rant and rave, but I was like. 00:16:48.000 --> 00:16:51.000 Yeah. So in that moment. 00:16:51.000 --> 00:16:57.000 Somebody had like said, you know, you look crazy or you look cuckoo. She's like, fine. I look cuckoo. 00:16:57.000 --> 00:17:01.000 But this is just one event. You didn't see all the other ones leading up to this. 00:17:01.000 --> 00:17:02.000 Mm-hmm. 00:17:02.000 --> 00:17:04.000 And I'm right so um 00:17:04.000 --> 00:17:13.000 It's like all the different narratives, all of the different roles we play, all the different masks that we wear. Like somebody said you know going 00:17:13.000 --> 00:17:23.000 to school there's a whole new set of, I think Kimberly said, you know, going to school, there's a whole new set of anxieties, the new set at home, because we're wearing different masks. We're putting on different roles. 00:17:23.000 --> 00:17:26.000 We are fulfilling different narratives. 00:17:26.000 --> 00:17:27.000 Mm-hmm. 00:17:27.000 --> 00:17:35.000 All led by like different archetypes or what are like what we, you know, our preconceptions and our misconceptions or maybe some of the things that we have right 00:17:35.000 --> 00:17:36.000 Well. 00:17:36.000 --> 00:17:39.000 about the world, carrying all of that with us all the time. 00:17:39.000 --> 00:17:40.000 Before you judge me. 00:17:40.000 --> 00:17:41.000 Yeah, to be seen. 00:17:41.000 --> 00:17:44.000 Here are my series of stories. 00:17:44.000 --> 00:17:47.000 Yes, yes. It's so complex. 00:17:47.000 --> 00:17:49.000 But at the root at the root 00:17:49.000 --> 00:17:54.000 like hopefully we can find some commonalities, at least through feelings, if nothing else, you know? 00:17:54.000 --> 00:18:00.000 Okay, Glass, you've just heard our whole presentation for tonight. Thank you. Have a good night. 00:18:00.000 --> 00:18:04.000 You slammed it up nicely but 00:18:04.000 --> 00:18:07.000 Good. It's my anniversary today, 21 years. 00:18:07.000 --> 00:18:13.000 Oh, cool. And you are different in your snapshot today than you were 21 years ago. 00:18:13.000 --> 00:18:15.000 Oh, yes, I am. 00:18:15.000 --> 00:18:19.000 You know, and seeing the different series of my life 00:18:19.000 --> 00:18:23.000 It's interesting when I look at them 00:18:23.000 --> 00:18:26.000 the good parts, the sad parts. 00:18:26.000 --> 00:18:30.000 Today I've been going through a lot of pictures with my friends who have passed. 00:18:30.000 --> 00:18:33.000 And I saw some of them. I'm like, wow. 00:18:33.000 --> 00:18:38.000 You know, I've learned to keep pictures. 00:18:38.000 --> 00:18:40.000 I've learned to keep pictures of my 00:18:40.000 --> 00:18:43.000 victories and a few pictures of my losses. 00:18:43.000 --> 00:18:46.000 Because they're all different series of me. 00:18:46.000 --> 00:18:49.000 If I only keep pictures of my victories. 00:18:49.000 --> 00:18:51.000 That's unrealistic. 00:18:51.000 --> 00:19:01.000 And I don't know how to plan for down times. I've only keep pictures of my sad times. That's also unrealistic. And it's too depressing. I don't know how to make it. 00:19:01.000 --> 00:19:03.000 Keeping pictures of both. 00:19:03.000 --> 00:19:05.000 balances me out. 00:19:05.000 --> 00:19:07.000 Have you seen my childhood? 00:19:07.000 --> 00:19:09.000 He says, before you loved me. 00:19:09.000 --> 00:19:12.000 Another one says, um. 00:19:12.000 --> 00:19:17.000 The painful youth I've had. 00:19:17.000 --> 00:19:20.000 What pains have youth had? 00:19:20.000 --> 00:19:23.000 what's been their pains before they come to see you? 00:19:23.000 --> 00:19:27.000 or while they are still seeing you. Young Mandy Day, I've known him since 00:19:27.000 --> 00:19:29.000 No, I'm going to my second year. 00:19:29.000 --> 00:19:33.000 He asked to see me today. I was rushing and doing something else. And I was in the office. 00:19:33.000 --> 00:19:36.000 And he said, is Mr. Davis there? 00:19:36.000 --> 00:19:41.000 And then I looked down because when somebody just calls my name, I know they have personally requested and I recognize their voice. 00:19:41.000 --> 00:19:46.000 And I said, I have something else to do, but can you wait for a few minutes? He said, yeah, I'll wait. 00:19:46.000 --> 00:19:51.000 And I was looking at it because I said, he's not in trouble. What's going on? 00:19:51.000 --> 00:19:54.000 So after I finished my other situation, I caught a man. 00:19:54.000 --> 00:19:56.000 I said, what's up, man? 00:19:56.000 --> 00:20:02.000 A parent announced to me this week they're going through a divorce. 00:20:02.000 --> 00:20:07.000 And they said it's hard to focus as and you said, mm-hmm. 00:20:07.000 --> 00:20:10.000 We just pause for a few minutes. 00:20:10.000 --> 00:20:18.000 Instead of top it off, my dad got arrested this weekend too. 00:20:18.000 --> 00:20:21.000 Here we are on Thursday. 00:20:21.000 --> 00:20:24.000 We couldn't focus this weekend and asked to see me. 00:20:24.000 --> 00:20:27.000 You can play Uno all the time last year. 00:20:27.000 --> 00:20:29.000 Pretty good player. 00:20:29.000 --> 00:20:33.000 In sixth grade, and so I hadn't seen him and he came and asked for me to dare. 00:20:33.000 --> 00:20:37.000 We just sat there and I said, I need you to check with me for a few weeks. 00:20:37.000 --> 00:20:39.000 Because this is not going away today. 00:20:39.000 --> 00:20:43.000 He says, I know. 00:20:43.000 --> 00:20:45.000 Mm-hmm. 00:20:45.000 --> 00:20:47.000 The painful youth 00:20:47.000 --> 00:20:50.000 I have. 00:20:50.000 --> 00:20:54.000 Have you seen my childhood? 00:20:54.000 --> 00:20:58.000 We checked in for about 15 minutes and he sent him on back to class. 00:20:58.000 --> 00:21:02.000 So sometimes we're checking for five minutes, other times we're checking for 10. 00:21:02.000 --> 00:21:07.000 He said, I know where you are. I said, cool. 00:21:07.000 --> 00:21:09.000 Kind of cool having a 00:21:09.000 --> 00:21:14.000 12-year-old come look for you. 00:21:14.000 --> 00:21:18.000 Share his pain. 00:21:18.000 --> 00:21:22.000 get a little pep talk and head on back to class. 00:21:22.000 --> 00:21:28.000 What's your thoughts? 00:21:28.000 --> 00:21:32.000 I really particularly heard him 00:21:32.000 --> 00:21:34.000 When he said, um. 00:21:34.000 --> 00:21:37.000 the wonder of childhood. 00:21:37.000 --> 00:21:38.000 And… 00:21:38.000 --> 00:21:40.000 Go for it. Tell him about that. 00:21:40.000 --> 00:21:41.000 Uh-huh. 00:21:41.000 --> 00:21:42.000 Say, go for it. Tell me. 00:21:42.000 --> 00:21:46.000 Oh, and so it made me think of not only like 00:21:46.000 --> 00:21:52.000 the like of the admiration of wonder of childhood, but also of like 00:21:52.000 --> 00:22:00.000 And the mysticism behind childhood of like, you know, how this big world that we don't know, but also these 00:22:00.000 --> 00:22:02.000 unfamiliar things 00:22:02.000 --> 00:22:09.000 that children experience that they don't quite understand like particularly like a divorce 00:22:09.000 --> 00:22:12.000 like so what is all of that about? 00:22:12.000 --> 00:22:21.000 And so how do they figure out that? And then so how does that play into the rest of their life? So that's where my mind went when I heard that, what he said, based on the 00:22:21.000 --> 00:22:23.000 topic that you're talking about. 00:22:23.000 --> 00:22:25.000 Hmm. 00:22:25.000 --> 00:22:31.000 I told him, I said, if you had asked me that several years ago, I really wouldn't understand. But now that I've gone through it. 00:22:31.000 --> 00:22:34.000 I said it's crazy. 00:22:34.000 --> 00:22:39.000 He nodded his hair. 00:22:39.000 --> 00:22:43.000 It's crazy. 00:22:43.000 --> 00:22:45.000 The wonder. 00:22:45.000 --> 00:22:48.000 When you think about wonder, you think about 00:22:48.000 --> 00:22:51.000 And something that's great, grand and wonderful. 00:22:51.000 --> 00:22:56.000 Wonder Woman, Child of Wonder, child of, you know, wonder something great Christmas time. 00:22:56.000 --> 00:22:59.000 Wonder. 00:22:59.000 --> 00:23:05.000 But sometimes that wonder is not so great. 00:23:05.000 --> 00:23:10.000 Aim for youth I've had. 00:23:10.000 --> 00:23:13.000 And at a master's level. 00:23:13.000 --> 00:23:17.000 I use my systems theory as a camera. 00:23:17.000 --> 00:23:21.000 I didn't add this to my thing, but I'll go to it real quick, real quick. 00:23:21.000 --> 00:23:23.000 Before I go to my next one. 00:23:23.000 --> 00:23:28.000 I have to because my head is there. 00:23:28.000 --> 00:23:32.000 My head is there, I'm going to go to there. 00:23:32.000 --> 00:23:55.000 What I really appreciate about the Google Career Certificate is you're not just sticking your nose in it. 00:23:55.000 --> 00:23:57.000 And I look at these cameras. 00:23:57.000 --> 00:24:00.000 at the bachelor's level. 00:24:00.000 --> 00:24:04.000 They may just have a simple cell phone camera. 00:24:04.000 --> 00:24:06.000 At the master's level. 00:24:06.000 --> 00:24:10.000 And higher as we get to the graduate level. 00:24:10.000 --> 00:24:14.000 we start using these professional cameras. 00:24:14.000 --> 00:24:17.000 As we look for the painful childhoods, we 00:24:17.000 --> 00:24:24.000 What's the difference of these kind of cameras versus the ones that's on your cell phone? 00:24:24.000 --> 00:24:28.000 This one is specifically made for taking pictures. 00:24:28.000 --> 00:24:32.000 or by capturing an image or a moment or 00:24:32.000 --> 00:24:33.000 Mm-hmm. 00:24:33.000 --> 00:24:38.000 Whereas the other device, it's kind of like being a jack of all trades and having all of that, but this one having like 00:24:38.000 --> 00:24:40.000 Focus. 00:24:40.000 --> 00:24:42.000 having focus. 00:24:42.000 --> 00:24:50.000 And it's specifically made. You are being specifically trained in this course and with the MSW to see things that you did not see prior to coming in here. 00:24:50.000 --> 00:24:53.000 You may have seen some Jacksonville trade things. 00:24:53.000 --> 00:24:58.000 But you will be able to hopefully, as you study and practice with the 00:24:58.000 --> 00:25:01.000 Sanchez family and all these other ones. 00:25:01.000 --> 00:25:05.000 you're going to be able to zero in with that cannon. 00:25:05.000 --> 00:25:07.000 and see things 00:25:07.000 --> 00:25:09.000 that others may not see. 00:25:09.000 --> 00:25:13.000 where they see a sun, you see the pain 00:25:13.000 --> 00:25:15.000 in that boy, in that girl. 00:25:15.000 --> 00:25:19.000 you see the pain in that mom of them there isn't it? 00:25:19.000 --> 00:25:21.000 you feel it. 00:25:21.000 --> 00:25:24.000 And you hear it in a different way. 00:25:24.000 --> 00:25:27.000 And you're able to adjust your camera. 00:25:27.000 --> 00:25:29.000 to see him. 00:25:29.000 --> 00:25:32.000 What's your thoughts? 00:25:32.000 --> 00:25:37.000 I think that with this camera too, the difference is you can edit a lot more. 00:25:37.000 --> 00:25:40.000 Tell me more about that editing. 00:25:40.000 --> 00:25:45.000 You know, you can do basic edits on like an iPhone with your pictures but 00:25:45.000 --> 00:25:50.000 I mean, I don't have a professional camera, but I'm assuming it has more functionality 00:25:50.000 --> 00:25:53.000 to like photoshop 00:25:53.000 --> 00:25:55.000 um to 00:25:55.000 --> 00:26:00.000 take out, I mean, yeah, Photoshop, like take out stuff that's there, add stuff that's not there. 00:26:00.000 --> 00:26:09.000 change the coloring, the brightness, the settings and things of that nature. So you can really, and it depends on who's operating the camera too. 00:26:09.000 --> 00:26:15.000 you know a professional photographer can really take nothing and make it into something with a lot of editing. 00:26:15.000 --> 00:26:18.000 A lot of editing, they go into that dark room. 00:26:18.000 --> 00:26:21.000 And being able to see things. 00:26:21.000 --> 00:26:25.000 We're learning how to work and edit in that dark room. 00:26:25.000 --> 00:26:29.000 to be understand, to understand the painful use 00:26:29.000 --> 00:26:35.000 to hear issues about the childhood, the searching for the wonder in youth. 00:26:35.000 --> 00:26:39.000 People say that I'm strange. 00:26:39.000 --> 00:26:41.000 You'll be able to see strange things 00:26:41.000 --> 00:26:44.000 through this camera. 00:26:44.000 --> 00:26:48.000 And then they don't become so strange to you anymore. 00:26:48.000 --> 00:26:50.000 When I first got to middle school. 00:26:50.000 --> 00:26:55.000 I had not really experienced, I've heard about it and read about it, of course, being a therapist 00:26:55.000 --> 00:27:00.000 But I had not experienced all the cutting, childhood cutting that I went through a few years ago. 00:27:00.000 --> 00:27:05.000 Sixth grade was cutting like crazy. I mean, it was just like a fad going through sixth grade. 00:27:05.000 --> 00:27:07.000 cutting after cutting parents coming up there 00:27:07.000 --> 00:27:11.000 And this time of year, I'm getting caught, Mr. Davis, Mr. Davis. 00:27:11.000 --> 00:27:17.000 Oh, sir, come and see my friend. I'm like, you know, open up, take the arm, me and the nurse, we've been there so many times. 00:27:17.000 --> 00:27:19.000 kids cutting, cutting. 00:27:19.000 --> 00:27:24.000 It was strange to me at first, but then it became normal. 00:27:24.000 --> 00:27:28.000 I hated it. It became normal, but it really did. 00:27:28.000 --> 00:27:36.000 And having to see the pain behind all the cutting that went on. And it wasn't just the girls. It wasn't just one race. We had boys cutting, girls cutting. 00:27:36.000 --> 00:27:49.000 cutting their arms, cutting their shirts, cutting that. They would rather focus on the pain of having a painful arm than going through the pain of their parents divorce or going through, we have several kids that were going through transitions 00:27:49.000 --> 00:27:52.000 One started sixth grade, seventh grade. 00:27:52.000 --> 00:27:55.000 from being a boy to being a girl. 00:27:55.000 --> 00:27:57.000 And the transition of all of that. 00:27:57.000 --> 00:27:59.000 had to go through a sour 00:27:59.000 --> 00:28:02.000 Just a lot of pain. 00:28:02.000 --> 00:28:04.000 And so what seems strange to me 00:28:04.000 --> 00:28:12.000 When I started focusing in on my camera, my professional camera, learning more about it really became clearer to me. 00:28:12.000 --> 00:28:22.000 Your thoughts? 00:28:22.000 --> 00:28:25.000 the camera. 00:28:25.000 --> 00:28:28.000 I would agree with what you're saying i'm just taking 00:28:28.000 --> 00:28:32.000 I've done social type work for a long time. 00:28:32.000 --> 00:28:37.000 I'm working with CPS when I first started 00:28:37.000 --> 00:28:46.000 we're seeing things from a very small lens, like, you know, seeing the worst that people can do to themselves and each other and their children 00:28:46.000 --> 00:28:56.000 But as I learn more and agree more in the profession, and obviously this is my second master, so learning through that process and now this i've got like 00:28:56.000 --> 00:28:59.000 the big lens going now where 00:28:59.000 --> 00:29:04.000 things are so much bigger than that moment and so much bigger than this 00:29:04.000 --> 00:29:07.000 child abuse and neglect case it's 00:29:07.000 --> 00:29:19.000 not just one moment, but that's also not necessarily always what you see first, like a bad parent, an abusive parent. There's a bigger picture and a bigger lens. 00:29:19.000 --> 00:29:21.000 And sometimes it does take 00:29:21.000 --> 00:29:23.000 those little minute details 00:29:23.000 --> 00:29:26.000 that you can see with that bigger lens. 00:29:26.000 --> 00:29:33.000 to be able to pinpoint where some of the difficulty or trauma is and how to better help them. 00:29:33.000 --> 00:29:39.000 Yeah. Years ago, I was working with a group of students and um 00:29:39.000 --> 00:29:42.000 the person we would go on home visits. 00:29:42.000 --> 00:29:51.000 And when they were given their reports, the person was talking about, well, when I walked in the house, there were roaches, there was this, there was that. And I finally stopped. And I said, excuse me. 00:29:51.000 --> 00:29:55.000 I said, who's your client? The roach or the person? 00:29:55.000 --> 00:29:58.000 I said, who's your client? 00:29:58.000 --> 00:30:03.000 You started off talking about the roaches and things that were in the house. 00:30:03.000 --> 00:30:09.000 Yeah, but there were roaches, but why did you start off with that? What's the roach your client? 00:30:09.000 --> 00:30:13.000 Well, I didn't want them on my clothes. You can clean your clothes. 00:30:13.000 --> 00:30:16.000 Take your clothes to laundry. 00:30:16.000 --> 00:30:18.000 You can do other things. 00:30:18.000 --> 00:30:25.000 Who's your client? Were you focusing in? Was your camera focused so much on that roach, that spider? 00:30:25.000 --> 00:30:35.000 I'm not saying to ignore it. I understand I've had to do home visits. I had to do home assessments. I understand that I've had to write up to how the house was not so tidy and other things. I'm not going to ignore it. 00:30:35.000 --> 00:30:39.000 But as my main part of the lens on the roaches that are running up and down the house? 00:30:39.000 --> 00:30:47.000 or my client. 00:30:47.000 --> 00:30:52.000 And so what are your, what do you go into, is it all the smell? 00:30:52.000 --> 00:30:57.000 There's a smell of poverty that is really true. I've worked in Alabama. I've worked in Ohio, worked in Indiana. 00:30:57.000 --> 00:31:01.000 I've worked in Michigan and all four states. 00:31:01.000 --> 00:31:06.000 You know, when I've gone to homes and poverty, I've done home visits in all four states 00:31:06.000 --> 00:31:09.000 In various cities in these states. 00:31:09.000 --> 00:31:11.000 But poverty smells the same to me. 00:31:11.000 --> 00:31:19.000 where there was country pop. Well, real poverty has a little bit different because you're going to add some animals, some chickens and some dogs and some other stuff in there. You're going to spice it up or something. 00:31:19.000 --> 00:31:22.000 It's amazing. But, um. 00:31:22.000 --> 00:31:26.000 Still, poverty has a certain smell. 00:31:26.000 --> 00:31:30.000 Who's your client, the roach? 00:31:30.000 --> 00:31:36.000 What do you see when you walk into a home that's when you see somebody that comes in, mom is not dressed right, daddy's not dressed right. 00:31:36.000 --> 00:32:02.000 They got silver teeth and missing tooth. What do you see when you're talking to them? 00:32:02.000 --> 00:32:03.000 Okay. 00:32:03.000 --> 00:32:06.000 you see some things that look strange to you because you may have grown up in a two-parent home, mom, dad, or it may look strange with you that you may have grown up in a single home or you may have grown up with mom and mom or dad and dad. So now you're working with another family because now once you get out of your own home and you start working with other homes, things may look strange to you. 00:32:06.000 --> 00:32:16.000 And one of my classes where I was working my master's at Ohio State, I was the only African-American in the class. Every time they had a diversity question, kept asking me and asking me. One of my classmates said to me. 00:32:16.000 --> 00:32:21.000 I know you get tired of asking, answering the questions when we do that. I said, yeah, I'm kind of sick of it. 00:32:21.000 --> 00:32:28.000 But she told me this and I'll never forget it. She said, you're the first African-American male I've ever met in person. 00:32:28.000 --> 00:32:41.000 I grew up in an all-white neighborhood with all white schools. I went to all white churches. I went to everything white. Everything in my life has been white. I came here to school. You're the first person. And when I went to my caseload, my caseload is all black. 00:32:41.000 --> 00:32:49.000 And you're the first one. So everything you're saying, I'm writing down because I have no experience in working with my caseload. 00:32:49.000 --> 00:32:51.000 And I said, okay. 00:32:51.000 --> 00:32:55.000 And sometimes I've switched what 00:32:55.000 --> 00:32:57.000 That was strange for her. What's been strange for you? 00:32:57.000 --> 00:33:03.000 different populations, distant backgrounds are strange. 00:33:03.000 --> 00:33:09.000 What's your thoughts when you think of strains working with different backgrounds? 00:33:09.000 --> 00:33:13.000 I worked for a long time as a 00:33:13.000 --> 00:33:22.000 a service coordinator from that. I worked in APS for a long time. So I got to see a lot of 00:33:22.000 --> 00:33:27.000 different backgrounds, cultures, the way people live. 00:33:27.000 --> 00:33:30.000 Sometimes, uh. 00:33:30.000 --> 00:33:32.000 you know one ethnicity 00:33:32.000 --> 00:33:35.000 or one set race. 00:33:35.000 --> 00:33:39.000 like you kind of already know what you're going into and 00:33:39.000 --> 00:33:43.000 Sadly, I, you know, I would see a name 00:33:43.000 --> 00:33:46.000 And I already became biased. 00:33:46.000 --> 00:33:47.000 Mm-hmm. 00:33:47.000 --> 00:33:49.000 or prejudice. 00:33:49.000 --> 00:33:52.000 I'm from Pennsylvania. 00:33:52.000 --> 00:33:59.000 So we have a lot of trailer parks and stuff, you know, up in the Poconos or up in Bethlehem and, you know. 00:33:59.000 --> 00:34:06.000 those places. And as soon as I saw a name, I would tell my supervisor, like. 00:34:06.000 --> 00:34:08.000 I don't want to go there. 00:34:08.000 --> 00:34:12.000 And she would say, well, I turned out and and 00:34:12.000 --> 00:34:17.000 It was sad. And I would say, these are my reasons why. 00:34:17.000 --> 00:34:23.000 And, you know, when you work in that field for so long, you almost 00:34:23.000 --> 00:34:26.000 become um 00:34:26.000 --> 00:34:35.000 you become immune, but you almost recognize where you're going to walk into before you even walk into the situation just by a name. 00:34:35.000 --> 00:34:39.000 Mm-hmm. 00:34:39.000 --> 00:34:42.000 And I would have to 00:34:42.000 --> 00:34:48.000 put on my rain boots because I always kept a pair of rain boots in my car. 00:34:48.000 --> 00:34:54.000 And walk into the home and just put on the face like, okay, here I am. I'm here for you. 00:34:54.000 --> 00:34:58.000 You know, I'm here to provide for whatever you need. 00:34:58.000 --> 00:35:00.000 And just keep it moving. 00:35:00.000 --> 00:35:02.000 But yes, during my time. 00:35:02.000 --> 00:35:06.000 I developed some type of bias and prejudice 00:35:06.000 --> 00:35:08.000 just because of a name. 00:35:08.000 --> 00:35:13.000 Thank you for being honest because it's being real. 00:35:13.000 --> 00:35:16.000 And that challenge is how do we not do that? 00:35:16.000 --> 00:35:19.000 Number one is we have to realize we're doing it. 00:35:19.000 --> 00:35:21.000 Just because of names. 00:35:21.000 --> 00:35:23.000 People can look at people's zip codes 00:35:23.000 --> 00:35:26.000 As a city council person, I can look at zip codes and 00:35:26.000 --> 00:35:29.000 or streets when somebody comes before me, I know exactly 00:35:29.000 --> 00:35:34.000 Well, not exactly. I have a great idea of what's going on just by your zip code. 00:35:34.000 --> 00:35:42.000 Insurance companies do that too. If you have certain zip codes and cities, you pay more insurance on your car, your house than other zip codes. 00:35:42.000 --> 00:35:44.000 Just because of the zip code where it's located. 00:35:44.000 --> 00:35:48.000 or the assumption that there is more crime. 00:35:48.000 --> 00:35:56.000 I live on the southwest side of the South Bend, Indiana, and people think that there's more crime on the southwest side. If you look at the actual record, it's not. 00:35:56.000 --> 00:35:59.000 But a lot of times that's betrayed on the media. 00:35:59.000 --> 00:36:02.000 We have another shooting on the west side of Seattle. 00:36:02.000 --> 00:36:08.000 When there's a shooting on the east side of town, they would say there was a shooting in South Bend. 00:36:08.000 --> 00:36:10.000 Okay. They would say a shooting in South Bend. 00:36:10.000 --> 00:36:17.000 But when it's on the west side, there was a shooting on the west side. I have never heard them say there was shooting on the east side. 00:36:17.000 --> 00:36:19.000 Oh, seldom did they say that. 00:36:19.000 --> 00:36:30.000 Because normally, if it's on the east side, shooting on the east, shooting in south, and if it was on the west side, they identify as west side. So those kind of things play into how people see 00:36:30.000 --> 00:36:32.000 going to people's homes. 00:36:32.000 --> 00:36:35.000 just by our media. 00:36:35.000 --> 00:36:36.000 And we planned. 00:36:36.000 --> 00:36:37.000 I would almost… 00:36:37.000 --> 00:36:42.000 like when I would tell my supervisor, I would almost be like, leave me in the city. 00:36:42.000 --> 00:36:44.000 I don't want to go into rural areas 00:36:44.000 --> 00:36:48.000 Leave me in the city. I'd be like, leave me with my Hispanic people. 00:36:48.000 --> 00:36:55.000 Don't send me up into the rural areas. I don't want to go to the trailer parks. I don't want to go into the nice houses. No, leave me here. 00:36:55.000 --> 00:37:00.000 I feel safer in the city. 00:37:00.000 --> 00:37:02.000 I was telling my daughter the other night. 00:37:02.000 --> 00:37:05.000 My grandfather on my dad's side lived in a trailer park. 00:37:05.000 --> 00:37:09.000 And grandma lived an interesting house. 00:37:09.000 --> 00:37:12.000 As a kid, we was just going to grandpa's house. 00:37:12.000 --> 00:37:17.000 Because when I got into older life, then I realized granddaddy was living in Trello Park. 00:37:17.000 --> 00:37:21.000 As a kid, it was just granddaddy's house. 00:37:21.000 --> 00:37:25.000 I never thought that we were going there. I mean, he lived in Tampa, Florida. 00:37:25.000 --> 00:37:29.000 And all those hurricanes and everything, we were in the trailer parked the storms. 00:37:29.000 --> 00:37:32.000 And it's amazing to me now. 00:37:32.000 --> 00:37:34.000 When I see trailer parks. 00:37:34.000 --> 00:37:40.000 When I used to look forward to just going to grandparents house. And now I never equated 00:37:40.000 --> 00:37:43.000 trailer park as low class people 00:37:43.000 --> 00:37:47.000 Because trailer parks met grandpa Daddy's house. 00:37:47.000 --> 00:37:49.000 Just interesting. 00:37:49.000 --> 00:37:53.000 how I saw it out of my camera, how I saw it the world out of my camera. 00:37:53.000 --> 00:38:00.000 And now how things have jaded my vision and how I have to clean off my camera because my lenses 00:38:00.000 --> 00:38:03.000 have been um 00:38:03.000 --> 00:38:05.000 stained by life's 00:38:05.000 --> 00:38:10.000 prejudice and other things that have happened. 00:38:10.000 --> 00:38:13.000 As I look at my camera. 00:38:13.000 --> 00:38:15.000 Some of that comes from houses. 00:38:15.000 --> 00:38:19.000 that we hear. 00:38:19.000 --> 00:38:26.000 If we look at childhood trauma and issues. 00:38:26.000 --> 00:38:28.000 we have to deal with the issue of 00:38:28.000 --> 00:38:31.000 this poem. 00:38:31.000 --> 00:38:34.000 Some of you may have heard at this point. 00:38:34.000 --> 00:38:36.000 And I'd like for somebody to read 00:38:36.000 --> 00:38:42.000 That point, let me put it. It's got children live what they learn. 00:38:42.000 --> 00:38:46.000 And since he, I know we deal with pronouns now, it was written in 79. 00:38:46.000 --> 00:38:54.000 But just go with he or she, whatever you want to go with. 00:38:54.000 --> 00:38:56.000 Somebody volunteer and go for it. 00:38:56.000 --> 00:39:04.000 Sure. I'll do it. Okay. If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn. 00:39:04.000 --> 00:39:08.000 If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight. 00:39:08.000 --> 00:39:12.000 If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy. 00:39:12.000 --> 00:39:16.000 If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty. 00:39:16.000 --> 00:39:19.000 If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient. 00:39:19.000 --> 00:39:23.000 If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence. 00:39:23.000 --> 00:39:27.000 If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate. 00:39:27.000 --> 00:39:30.000 If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice. 00:39:30.000 --> 00:39:34.000 If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith. 00:39:34.000 --> 00:39:38.000 If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself. 00:39:38.000 --> 00:39:44.000 If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world. 00:39:44.000 --> 00:39:49.000 Thank you. Ms. Dorothy Lew Note wrote that as part of her doctorate. 00:39:49.000 --> 00:39:52.000 Years ago, children live what they live. 00:39:52.000 --> 00:39:56.000 children learn what they live. 00:39:56.000 --> 00:40:03.000 What stood out for you as you read that? And then we have others to chime in. 00:40:03.000 --> 00:40:09.000 I've worked with a lot of children and a lot of students. 00:40:09.000 --> 00:40:16.000 just in life in general and also in the field and 00:40:16.000 --> 00:40:19.000 I love this poem and reading it it's 00:40:19.000 --> 00:40:24.000 It's so true because… 00:40:24.000 --> 00:40:30.000 like specifically like if a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn. 00:40:30.000 --> 00:40:32.000 like a student, one of my students 00:40:32.000 --> 00:40:34.000 he was super 00:40:34.000 --> 00:40:37.000 incredibly 00:40:37.000 --> 00:40:39.000 just judgmental towards judgmental 00:40:39.000 --> 00:40:42.000 the people 00:40:42.000 --> 00:40:45.000 like his peers and he would talk to me about that 00:40:45.000 --> 00:40:52.000 This is when I was working in the social work field, but he would talk to me about how 00:40:52.000 --> 00:40:55.000 they need to do this better or they need to do that better. 00:40:55.000 --> 00:40:57.000 And he could have done it better 00:40:57.000 --> 00:41:03.000 then they could have and the teacher should have called on him and just different stuff like that and 00:41:03.000 --> 00:41:10.000 And getting to know him over the course of when he was on my caseload and also getting to know 00:41:10.000 --> 00:41:14.000 his mom and his grandma 00:41:14.000 --> 00:41:20.000 I could see that mom would constantly criticize him 00:41:20.000 --> 00:41:24.000 you could be better than that. You need to be better than that. You know better than 00:41:24.000 --> 00:41:27.000 And then grandma 00:41:27.000 --> 00:41:33.000 would do the same with mom. So they were kind of stuck in a 00:41:33.000 --> 00:41:38.000 trauma circle that I can only assume that grandma also had that growing up. 00:41:38.000 --> 00:41:40.000 So, um. 00:41:40.000 --> 00:41:43.000 Children are like sponges and 00:41:43.000 --> 00:41:46.000 the way that the adults in their life 00:41:46.000 --> 00:41:49.000 love them and love them 00:41:49.000 --> 00:41:51.000 care for them and or care for them 00:41:51.000 --> 00:41:57.000 don't love them or don't care for them. They soak that up is as in 00:41:57.000 --> 00:42:01.000 that's how I have to be whenever I'm an adult. Not always, but 00:42:01.000 --> 00:42:05.000 a lot of the times they think of that's how I have to be 00:42:05.000 --> 00:42:10.000 Because that's how they are and that's how the world 00:42:10.000 --> 00:42:13.000 works best for them. Does that make sense? 00:42:13.000 --> 00:42:16.000 Makes a lot of sense. 00:42:16.000 --> 00:42:20.000 Childless was critical. Thanks for sharing that. Thanks for reading it. 00:42:20.000 --> 00:42:24.000 If a child lives with criticism, learns to condemn. 00:42:24.000 --> 00:42:30.000 If you go back to some of the most critical people that you have, and I will even say for an adult. 00:42:30.000 --> 00:42:32.000 Liz has lived with criticism. 00:42:32.000 --> 00:42:38.000 he or she has learned to condemn. If you know people 00:42:38.000 --> 00:42:44.000 who are they're very condescending. They're always criticizing people on a regular basis. 00:42:44.000 --> 00:42:47.000 Take time to take time 00:42:47.000 --> 00:42:51.000 hear them. And if you really took time to hear them 00:42:51.000 --> 00:42:55.000 you almost could go back and quietly see their Facebooks or whatever. 00:42:55.000 --> 00:42:59.000 You'll probably pick up some things about them. 00:42:59.000 --> 00:43:04.000 that they have grown up in a world full of pure criticism. 00:43:04.000 --> 00:43:14.000 you know good you know this, you know that. Or they may have attended a church service or a worship background that's been very critical and 00:43:14.000 --> 00:43:17.000 And makes them to feel that they always live in hell. 00:43:17.000 --> 00:43:20.000 And going to hellfire and health this and all of that. 00:43:20.000 --> 00:43:25.000 And it's amazing by the time they get to third and fourth grade. 00:43:25.000 --> 00:43:28.000 They're some of the most critical young people 00:43:28.000 --> 00:43:33.000 The bodies are just turning 10 and yet they can be i'm just amazing 00:43:33.000 --> 00:43:36.000 They're mean. They're more mean. 00:43:36.000 --> 00:43:40.000 I have fifth grade right in front of me. It's been amazing dealing with some of my fifth graders. 00:43:40.000 --> 00:43:48.000 you happen to step on them, your mother blankety blank, blank, and blank, and your daddy blankety blank. Whoa. 00:43:48.000 --> 00:43:50.000 And I did it by accident. 00:43:50.000 --> 00:43:53.000 But they should have known better than the table on my blanket of blank. 00:43:53.000 --> 00:44:03.000 How did they at 10 years old not accuss and not only cuss, but how to place their cuss and how to criticize so hard on somebody else? 00:44:03.000 --> 00:44:06.000 And then he called the parent in. 00:44:06.000 --> 00:44:10.000 And he said, why are you calling my blankly blank phone? What's going on? Okay. 00:44:10.000 --> 00:44:14.000 I got you. 00:44:14.000 --> 00:44:19.000 I had to come up here and pick up my blank to make china and call downtown on you blankly blank social worker. 00:44:19.000 --> 00:44:23.000 Okay. You said they're sponges. Yeah, they're sponges. 00:44:23.000 --> 00:44:25.000 I know why that 10-year-old is cussing. 00:44:25.000 --> 00:44:36.000 Sounds just like that. Makes me think. Our children pick up so much. Animals pick up everything that we do. You can tell. 00:44:36.000 --> 00:44:38.000 Children live with criticism. 00:44:38.000 --> 00:44:41.000 Live with hostility, the ones who are fighting a lot. 00:44:41.000 --> 00:44:43.000 Fussing a lot. 00:44:43.000 --> 00:44:52.000 They live in that kind of environment, whether it's emotional fights, physical fights, a combination of them all. 00:44:52.000 --> 00:44:57.000 What's your thoughts? 00:44:57.000 --> 00:45:01.000 Look the ones in the purple ones. Which one stands out for you? 00:45:01.000 --> 00:45:07.000 It could be the criticism, the hostility, the ridicule, the shame. Which one, when you looked at it and read about it? 00:45:07.000 --> 00:45:10.000 popped out and see, yeah, I can see that. Or not only 00:45:10.000 --> 00:45:14.000 the clients, which ones jumped out? 00:45:14.000 --> 00:45:21.000 kind of all of them, but the one specifically is if a child lives with hostility and learns to fight 00:45:21.000 --> 00:45:28.000 I've been a foster parent and we had an eight-year-old little boy, an Inuit from alaska. 00:45:28.000 --> 00:45:33.000 And he ain't been in foster care longer than most, almost four years by the time 00:45:33.000 --> 00:45:36.000 He was placed with me and my family. 00:45:36.000 --> 00:45:40.000 And he had been in 15 homes prior to my home. 00:45:40.000 --> 00:45:46.000 He also was seen because he was suffering from like fetal alcohol syndrome 00:45:46.000 --> 00:45:48.000 and other very serious 00:45:48.000 --> 00:45:51.000 conditions that 00:45:51.000 --> 00:45:55.000 maybe not curable, but treatable so that he could live a better life. 00:45:55.000 --> 00:46:06.000 But all he knew was to fight. That's all he had ever been around. And then to fight in every foster home because he didn't understand and he had no place 00:46:06.000 --> 00:46:10.000 to grab from and until he got in our home 00:46:10.000 --> 00:46:18.000 where he got the therapies they needed, the support he needed. We actually started working with his family, which was severe alcoholism. 00:46:18.000 --> 00:46:21.000 He's placed with me because I'm Cherokee. 00:46:21.000 --> 00:46:25.000 So we had an understanding of what it meant to go up native. 00:46:25.000 --> 00:46:26.000 Mm-hmm. 00:46:26.000 --> 00:46:32.000 He didn't even identify. He didn't even know what it meant. What does that mean to be Native? What does it mean to be 00:46:32.000 --> 00:46:37.000 from a tribe or from Alaska. And so it's like 00:46:37.000 --> 00:46:43.000 All he knew was hostility, and he knew it from not just his family, but to how to fight to survive 00:46:43.000 --> 00:46:53.000 for all the other homes he had been placed in for the piece of food he needed, for clothes he needed. He was eight when he came to us and he was wearing size four and a half, five clothes. 00:46:53.000 --> 00:46:54.000 Wow. 00:46:54.000 --> 00:46:58.000 He didn't have anything and he had been in foster care for three and a half years 00:46:58.000 --> 00:47:03.000 The painful youth I am. 00:47:03.000 --> 00:47:06.000 Have you seen my childhood? 00:47:06.000 --> 00:47:10.000 And it goes back to plus the abandonment issues. 00:47:10.000 --> 00:47:14.000 Fighting had become miscommunication. 00:47:14.000 --> 00:47:18.000 That's the way he communicated through his fights. 00:47:18.000 --> 00:47:22.000 A lot of the students that take place are their communications. 00:47:22.000 --> 00:47:25.000 Meaning, I used to play basketball as a kid. 00:47:25.000 --> 00:47:30.000 You foul somebody, you say, sorry, you move on next game. 00:47:30.000 --> 00:47:33.000 Or you may get a little rough tough and no big deal. 00:47:33.000 --> 00:47:37.000 Now people just walk to their cars, come out, you fouled me. 00:47:37.000 --> 00:47:41.000 I'm going to shoot you. Like, what? 00:47:41.000 --> 00:47:48.000 you know, and you think about why did they shoot that person? Well, they touched him or they were looking at him wrong or whatever. It's just like, hmm. 00:47:48.000 --> 00:47:51.000 It's the way they communicate. It's a different level of communication. 00:47:51.000 --> 00:47:55.000 And helping people to be able to express how they talk. 00:47:55.000 --> 00:48:00.000 Without having to do that is really interesting. 00:48:00.000 --> 00:48:03.000 And we live in a very hostile world i mean 00:48:03.000 --> 00:48:11.000 Once class is over, then I turn on CNN and MSNBC and I turn on Fox News and all the other news. 00:48:11.000 --> 00:48:19.000 And here, the whole thing that we are garbage or people are this and people are that are 00:48:19.000 --> 00:48:28.000 I mean, commercials are being made off of people who are going through transitions. Commercials are being made of all these different populations. It's amazing. 00:48:28.000 --> 00:48:31.000 is mean. 00:48:31.000 --> 00:48:39.000 And so when we see our presidential campaigns, our governor campaigns, our United States Senate campaigns, our 00:48:39.000 --> 00:48:42.000 for Congress campaigns, our mayors, our 00:48:42.000 --> 00:48:45.000 down to the local level campaigns 00:48:45.000 --> 00:48:53.000 I'm blasting each other. Genderism, sexism, homophobiaism, all the isms that you can think about. 00:48:53.000 --> 00:48:56.000 on social media and the posts. 00:48:56.000 --> 00:48:58.000 It's mean people's like… 00:48:58.000 --> 00:49:01.000 I mean, it's horrible. 00:49:01.000 --> 00:49:06.000 And so then you see children pick up that. 00:49:06.000 --> 00:49:17.000 She wanted to pick up that. What's your thoughts? 00:49:17.000 --> 00:49:22.000 Random thought I'm kind of having or maybe not so random but it's also 00:49:22.000 --> 00:49:29.000 I'm seeing this like the word cyclical is also coming up. So, you know, the child that lives with hostility and learns to fight 00:49:29.000 --> 00:49:37.000 goes out and gets, you know, or is combative and then that's what's coming back at them too. So it's almost like their behavior is also reinforced um 00:49:37.000 --> 00:49:38.000 Mm-hmm. 00:49:38.000 --> 00:49:43.000 Yeah. I mean, that's where my mind's at right now. And it's the same for 00:49:43.000 --> 00:49:45.000 all of them like if you 00:49:45.000 --> 00:49:49.000 live with ridicule and you learn to be shy and you learn to kind of 00:49:49.000 --> 00:49:56.000 bury yourself in the background, if you will, you may tend to be overlooked. And again, it reinforces 00:49:56.000 --> 00:49:59.000 that behavior and that feeling. 00:49:59.000 --> 00:50:02.000 Shame. 00:50:02.000 --> 00:50:05.000 Living with shame. 00:50:05.000 --> 00:50:08.000 My daughter was in a mixed class. When I say mixed class. 00:50:08.000 --> 00:50:11.000 It was first grade to fourth grade. 00:50:11.000 --> 00:50:14.000 And the little school that she was in. 00:50:14.000 --> 00:50:17.000 she was almost seven years old. 00:50:17.000 --> 00:50:21.000 And we were eating dinner that night. She said, that's enough. I said, what do you mean that's enough? 00:50:21.000 --> 00:50:26.000 She says, I got to work on my figure. 00:50:26.000 --> 00:50:28.000 I said, you got to work on what? 00:50:28.000 --> 00:50:32.000 I got to work on my figure. 00:50:32.000 --> 00:50:36.000 I was just like, I was so blown away sitting at the table. 00:50:36.000 --> 00:50:40.000 And I was like, I mean, I expect that maybe when she was a teenager and then it hit me. 00:50:40.000 --> 00:50:42.000 she was in a mixed class dealing with 00:50:42.000 --> 00:50:48.000 six, seven, eight, 19 years old. And the larger girls were getting teased. 00:50:48.000 --> 00:50:52.000 And she did not want to be one of them. 00:50:52.000 --> 00:50:56.000 So she stopped, even though I could tell she was really enjoyed it. 00:50:56.000 --> 00:51:00.000 Because they were getting teased. 00:51:00.000 --> 00:51:03.000 And I said, wow, that's not something that 00:51:03.000 --> 00:51:06.000 It's just for older people. 00:51:06.000 --> 00:51:10.000 younger people are dealing with that. The bully reports I have to write up. 00:51:10.000 --> 00:51:12.000 B&T's size. 00:51:12.000 --> 00:51:17.000 For me, I remember when Vanessa Williams won in 1984 00:51:17.000 --> 00:51:20.000 First African-American to ever win Miss America. 00:51:20.000 --> 00:51:23.000 And that was interesting because she was light scared. 00:51:23.000 --> 00:51:26.000 People who are my complexion than when 00:51:26.000 --> 00:51:30.000 I mean, that's just what happened. My sister's where my mother was in the South. 00:51:30.000 --> 00:51:34.000 It's amazing how many people 00:51:34.000 --> 00:51:36.000 felt uncomfortable. 00:51:36.000 --> 00:51:41.000 I've done a lot of therapy. How many men and women felt uncomfortable 00:51:41.000 --> 00:51:45.000 having any kind of lights on during their intimate times. 00:51:45.000 --> 00:51:48.000 Because they felt embarrassed about themselves. 00:51:48.000 --> 00:51:57.000 their looks and a lot of that came from their younger years. You're ugly, you're stupid. And even though a wife or a husband or a partner 00:51:57.000 --> 00:52:11.000 told them that they were pretty and they loved the way they looked. Are you just saying that? You just saying that. I don't even know why you're loving me. You could probably find any other woman or you could find any other man. And all this stuff happening, you know, you just… 00:52:11.000 --> 00:52:17.000 You just probably picked me because I was the last one and you had nobody else. I'm sure you're looking at her. Why are you looking at her all the time? 00:52:17.000 --> 00:52:23.000 And a lot of that argument, it creates that because when they were in those early years. 00:52:23.000 --> 00:52:29.000 They were teased about being too skinny, too dark, too light, too white, too black, too this, too that. 00:52:29.000 --> 00:52:32.000 eyes, there's four eyes, bubble lips, all this stuff. 00:52:32.000 --> 00:52:40.000 I can remember, I could write down all the stuff that I was caught between pay through fifth grade. And there's some vicious stuff. 00:52:40.000 --> 00:52:43.000 And here I am 56 years old and I still have to deal with that mess. 00:52:43.000 --> 00:52:47.000 In my mind. 00:52:47.000 --> 00:52:50.000 What's your thoughts? 00:52:50.000 --> 00:52:52.000 Shame. 00:52:52.000 --> 00:52:55.000 I just think about how like 00:52:55.000 --> 00:52:58.000 When I was an adolescent and like the 00:52:58.000 --> 00:53:01.000 I don't know, the early 2000s and 00:53:01.000 --> 00:53:10.000 the fashion trends at the time, like the low rise jeans and like the crop tops and like all this stuff. And now it's coming back 00:53:10.000 --> 00:53:17.000 And I've got friends who will be like, I could never wear low rise jeans. And when I see that stuff, I'm just triggered by all of the 00:53:17.000 --> 00:53:27.000 societal and like my the peer pressure that like, you know, if you ate anything, you were fat and you were not valued and um and like these are people like get like this is like 00:53:27.000 --> 00:53:31.000 20 years later, people who are still just like, I can't i can't 00:53:31.000 --> 00:53:35.000 you know and i think it's just 00:53:35.000 --> 00:53:41.000 you know speaks to that kind of point that that shame really is like sinks in there really early and it stays with you 00:53:41.000 --> 00:53:48.000 He stays with you. It's a struggle. It's a fight. It's something that you have to deal with. 00:53:48.000 --> 00:53:51.000 And so shame. 00:53:51.000 --> 00:53:55.000 ridiculed. Persons live for tolerance to learn to be patient. 00:53:55.000 --> 00:53:59.000 you grew up in a house and they talk about freedoms. They talk about people. 00:53:59.000 --> 00:54:08.000 who they allow different backgrounds, different issues. You see the children coming out of those kind of backgrounds a lot more patient. 00:54:08.000 --> 00:54:18.000 This generation has grown up with seeing more TV issues, or I don't even call it TV, but whatever flat screen stuff. I could tell what generation I grew when I used to wear TV. 00:54:18.000 --> 00:54:22.000 But they have learned to see more 00:54:22.000 --> 00:54:31.000 members of the LGBTQ plus communities on TV shows and other issues. And so they have learned to be a lot more patient. 00:54:31.000 --> 00:54:33.000 Versus my generation. 00:54:33.000 --> 00:54:38.000 It's very common now to have Thursday night football to see black quarterbacks 00:54:38.000 --> 00:54:45.000 When I can almost name the ones that we're going through when I was a kid in the 70s, 80s, it's normal now. 00:54:45.000 --> 00:54:48.000 I've seen the first African-American male president. 00:54:48.000 --> 00:54:50.000 We've seen the second woman run for 00:54:50.000 --> 00:54:54.000 president now, when was she not? I don't know. 00:54:54.000 --> 00:54:56.000 But one day will be normal. 00:54:56.000 --> 00:54:59.000 Instead of saying that she's strong enough. 00:54:59.000 --> 00:55:03.000 Could she handle this? All the questions she's been asking. 00:55:03.000 --> 00:55:08.000 You know, whether she's Democrat, Republican, my issue is just the fact that it's still new. 00:55:08.000 --> 00:55:10.000 Because we are not used to that. 00:55:10.000 --> 00:55:15.000 But people who are teaching their children at a younger level how to embrace it 00:55:15.000 --> 00:55:18.000 It helps them to be able to deal with change. 00:55:18.000 --> 00:55:21.000 try to live with encouragement. 00:55:21.000 --> 00:55:23.000 Confidence. 00:55:23.000 --> 00:55:27.000 Okay, yeah, okay, you got to see on that one, but you know, you can do better. 00:55:27.000 --> 00:55:35.000 You got to see. Last week was report card day. You can hear all the parents coming here. How dare you got this? You hear him screaming in the hallway when I was there. It was interesting. 00:55:35.000 --> 00:55:39.000 And all the screaming in the hallway was already teaching them 00:55:39.000 --> 00:55:41.000 about themselves. 00:55:41.000 --> 00:55:43.000 the confidence of the failures. 00:55:43.000 --> 00:55:46.000 Living with praise. 00:55:46.000 --> 00:55:48.000 To appreciate. 00:55:48.000 --> 00:55:51.000 Sometimes too much praise could also 00:55:51.000 --> 00:55:56.000 how do they deal with conflict is kind of interesting. I almost could flip the other side too, but at the same time, it's cool. 00:55:56.000 --> 00:55:59.000 Fairness, justice, security, faith. 00:55:59.000 --> 00:56:06.000 approval of the green section here. Which one stands out for you? 00:56:06.000 --> 00:56:14.000 You saw the purple ones, but the green ones. 00:56:14.000 --> 00:56:21.000 It made me think of a video I saw once that was put out by the National Down Syndrome Association when it were 00:56:21.000 --> 00:56:25.000 The whole video was about how 00:56:25.000 --> 00:56:28.000 The assumptions you put on others is what they become. 00:56:28.000 --> 00:56:34.000 And that if you assume people will be one way, you're causing the negatives 00:56:34.000 --> 00:56:35.000 Mm-hmm. 00:56:35.000 --> 00:56:37.000 But that if you assume then the positive set 00:56:37.000 --> 00:56:39.000 setting then setting 00:56:39.000 --> 00:56:42.000 they'll have the confidence like this says and everything 00:56:42.000 --> 00:56:46.000 it just this whole poem made me think of that video. 00:56:46.000 --> 00:56:50.000 And a part of that is the reason why that is 00:56:50.000 --> 00:56:55.000 Oh, well, I've already moved my thing. That goes back to the camera. 00:56:55.000 --> 00:57:01.000 Because the original lens that we focus on, our original focus. 00:57:01.000 --> 00:57:05.000 is set by our… 00:57:05.000 --> 00:57:08.000 family of origin. 00:57:08.000 --> 00:57:11.000 They are set to live with praise. 00:57:11.000 --> 00:57:16.000 then you see praising others real quick. 00:57:16.000 --> 00:57:20.000 If your family sets your camera to go with hostility. 00:57:20.000 --> 00:57:27.000 you pick it up in that cycle of strip that was just shared a few minutes ago comes there. 00:57:27.000 --> 00:57:29.000 Then the challenges is this. 00:57:29.000 --> 00:57:34.000 But before I go to my thing, I got a thought that comes up. What else stood out? Thank you, Michelle. What else stands out with you? 00:57:34.000 --> 00:57:42.000 And the green section. 00:57:42.000 --> 00:57:49.000 For me, the one that says the child that lives with encouragement learns confidence. 00:57:49.000 --> 00:57:52.000 And I can just think back to like. 00:57:52.000 --> 00:57:55.000 My peer group growing up 00:57:55.000 --> 00:58:01.000 And, you know, it was kind of like separated out and some of us were encouraged to 00:58:01.000 --> 00:58:07.000 do well in academics and some of us were encouraged to do well in athletics 00:58:07.000 --> 00:58:09.000 and um 00:58:09.000 --> 00:58:16.000 And then that's what became of those people later. And I also think back to uh like 00:58:16.000 --> 00:58:20.000 There was also encouragement to fight. 00:58:20.000 --> 00:58:21.000 Okay. 00:58:21.000 --> 00:58:24.000 Right. To like get an aggressive fist fights with each other. And so, you know. 00:58:24.000 --> 00:58:30.000 people who were encouraged to do that learned confidence in 00:58:30.000 --> 00:58:32.000 those aggressive behaviors. 00:58:32.000 --> 00:58:37.000 So I kind of see the mix of that there too. 00:58:37.000 --> 00:58:43.000 I appreciate that because of the fact that it's not only the question breaks this down 00:58:43.000 --> 00:58:47.000 to what are they being encouraged to do? 00:58:47.000 --> 00:58:56.000 And they may be encouraged to do some, and that goes back to your values and other cardiac actions. They may be encouraged to do some 00:58:56.000 --> 00:59:00.000 deviant or what some people may consider deviant behavior 00:59:00.000 --> 00:59:03.000 And that's how they learn their confidence. 00:59:03.000 --> 00:59:07.000 And then teaching somebody who's in 00:59:07.000 --> 00:59:16.000 fifth grade, their confidence, they know that they know how to play what they call the joneses of the dozens or whatever. They're very confident at it. 00:59:16.000 --> 00:59:26.000 Because your mama this, your daddy this, your mama, they know that within a matter of about three minutes, they're going to have this other fifth grader crying. They are very confident at that. They know they were. 00:59:26.000 --> 00:59:36.000 And I've had that happen because I had fifth grade was in one building and they got switched into our building where I'm in fifth grade, eighth. They were in a building just a few weeks ago where they were first through fifth. 00:59:36.000 --> 00:59:47.000 And now they got switched to a building where they are now fifth to eight within our school system, which was a mess. They shouldn't have done that. But anyway, they did. And so now the fifth grader who was good at playing the Joneses on 00:59:47.000 --> 00:59:53.000 fifth grade to first grade is now having to do that with fifth grade to eighth grade and is losing the battles. 00:59:53.000 --> 00:59:55.000 They're not as confident anymore. 00:59:55.000 --> 00:59:59.000 And having to figure out another way to communicate has been a mess. 00:59:59.000 --> 01:00:03.000 So it depends on what they've been encouraged to do but i see 01:00:03.000 --> 01:00:09.000 So finding out what they've been encouraged to do is also important. 01:00:09.000 --> 01:00:14.000 Because sometimes it's been good and sometimes it hasn't been good. 01:00:14.000 --> 01:00:21.000 finding out what they consider fairness and what they consider. It's amazing. 01:00:21.000 --> 01:00:26.000 what I used to think was fair is not necessarily fair. 01:00:26.000 --> 01:00:40.000 And that was based on the fact of my religious background, based on the fact of a few other backgrounds. I mean, you're going through some religious places in schools on Sunday school or Saturday school, and people will teach that if you don't go to this particular church, you're going to hell's fire. 01:00:40.000 --> 01:00:45.000 or you don't live the certain way, you're going to hell's fire. 01:00:45.000 --> 01:00:59.000 So something happens to somebody, well, you know, they're going to hell anyway. So you have to be careful with how does your culture, your religious background, your political background of a neighborhood, of a community 01:00:59.000 --> 01:01:02.000 help you to dehumanize other people. 01:01:02.000 --> 01:01:05.000 I was listening to a presentation today. 01:01:05.000 --> 01:01:21.000 Does somebody's rhetoric, whether it's religious, whether it's political, whether it's the environmental, help them to dehumanize somebody. So if something happens to that person, that person dies, something bad happens. Well, I don't know why you worry about her. You know, she already have five babies. In other words, why are we worried about her? 01:01:21.000 --> 01:01:24.000 she's not a human. She had five babies. What would he do? 01:01:24.000 --> 01:01:32.000 I mean, why do we worry about them? I mean, I heard he left his wife and came out of closet anyway. Why are we worried about him? 01:01:32.000 --> 01:01:41.000 In other words, their thinking has dehumanized that person. So something bad happens to them, whoopity do. 01:01:41.000 --> 01:01:46.000 somebody happens to them, well, they're a Democrat. Something bad happened, they're a Republican. They like Trump anyway. 01:01:46.000 --> 01:01:49.000 I'm happy, you know. 01:01:49.000 --> 01:01:56.000 Has our rhetoric made it so bad that we can watch another group of people, another culture. 01:01:56.000 --> 01:01:58.000 Die? 01:01:58.000 --> 01:02:02.000 Oh, 25 people from Hamas. Well, they're Hamas. We don't care. 01:02:02.000 --> 01:02:07.000 25people from Palestine died, oh, we care about that. Oh, we don't care about that. 25 people from Israel died. 01:02:07.000 --> 01:02:11.000 25 blacks were killed on that huddle that we care, that we care, 25 blacks were killed on that hudge. 01:02:11.000 --> 01:02:15.000 does the concept around us make us not care? 01:02:15.000 --> 01:02:20.000 or care. 01:02:20.000 --> 01:02:24.000 All that comes from my childhood. 01:02:24.000 --> 01:02:28.000 What's your thoughts? 01:02:28.000 --> 01:02:37.000 Before we go to our last one. 01:02:37.000 --> 01:02:40.000 see your faces for a few minutes and I'll go to the last one. 01:02:40.000 --> 01:02:47.000 Hmm. 01:02:47.000 --> 01:02:58.000 What's the next for you so far in this presentation? 01:02:58.000 --> 01:02:59.000 Okay. 01:02:59.000 --> 01:03:03.000 Excuse my background, I'm sorry. The background noise. I really wanted to follow what Derek said because it really resonated with me. 01:03:03.000 --> 01:03:10.000 Especially things that I see with my son and a conversation that we had to have last night with 01:03:10.000 --> 01:03:14.000 praising him for not hitting someone back then. 01:03:14.000 --> 01:03:17.000 uh he was tipped but also 01:03:17.000 --> 01:03:20.000 What I didn't see on the other side of that is not reinforcing him not 01:03:20.000 --> 01:03:23.000 standing up for himself at the same time. 01:03:23.000 --> 01:03:26.000 So making sure that we encourage 01:03:26.000 --> 01:03:28.000 Does that make sense what I'm trying to say? 01:03:28.000 --> 01:03:30.000 I'm listening. Making sense. 01:03:30.000 --> 01:03:41.000 No. But yeah, Derek said has really resonated and it just really brought me back to the conversation yesterday of knowing how to balance both sides. 01:03:41.000 --> 01:03:45.000 of teaching, okay, no, we don't hit back 01:03:45.000 --> 01:03:51.000 But in certain circumstances, you need to know how to protect yourself and how to defend yourself if necessary. 01:03:51.000 --> 01:03:54.000 Well, I agree with that. I tell the kids that's cool. 01:03:54.000 --> 01:03:58.000 I said, now, they said, my mama taught me to fight back. I said, okay. 01:03:58.000 --> 01:04:00.000 I said, I have nothing wrong with my mama said. 01:04:00.000 --> 01:04:02.000 I said, now, while you're here at school? 01:04:02.000 --> 01:04:04.000 It's our job to help you fight back. 01:04:04.000 --> 01:04:06.000 It's my job. 01:04:06.000 --> 01:04:10.000 I said, you need to tell your teacher, I'm the social worker, tell the principal. 01:04:10.000 --> 01:04:14.000 I said, you know, I give them some things. I said, now let me tell y'all this. 01:04:14.000 --> 01:04:18.000 You got there in that park out there and the school's not out and the school's out. 01:04:18.000 --> 01:04:24.000 And somebody does that, either you're going to have to run as fast as you can or you got to fight. 01:04:24.000 --> 01:04:29.000 Now, you should be out there with somebody to look out for you anyway, but sometimes you may have to stand up and fight, okay? 01:04:29.000 --> 01:04:32.000 All right, Mr. Davis. 01:04:32.000 --> 01:04:35.000 I make it real for him. 01:04:35.000 --> 01:04:40.000 Because that may be the case. 01:04:40.000 --> 01:04:44.000 I mean, sometimes I stand up. Sometimes I call my big sister. Boy, she could fight. She was pretty good. 01:04:44.000 --> 01:04:47.000 And so everybody knew it too. 01:04:47.000 --> 01:04:51.000 I'm going to call my brother. I'm going to call my sisters. Y'all don't want her. 01:04:51.000 --> 01:04:53.000 You know? 01:04:53.000 --> 01:04:59.000 And other times I could tell the teacher. So teaching them to be realistic with that. 01:04:59.000 --> 01:05:08.000 In their childhood helps them to be realistic people as adults, as teachers. 01:05:08.000 --> 01:05:11.000 What else? 01:05:11.000 --> 01:05:15.000 That's you. 01:05:15.000 --> 01:05:18.000 That's a stood up face. I mean. 01:05:18.000 --> 01:05:27.000 I think the concept of the camera and the picture, especially working in a school, a lot of the times the staff don't 01:05:27.000 --> 01:05:30.000 understand a full picture and even 01:05:30.000 --> 01:05:39.000 with the extensive amount of information as a mental health clinician that I have on the background of these kids, I still don't have a full picture. 01:05:39.000 --> 01:05:53.000 And so, you know, using that trauma informed care and being mindful of all of these things that contribute to these kids behaviors and experiences, emotions and everything, I think is super important. 01:05:53.000 --> 01:05:58.000 My principal did something several years ago, which I really need to encourage him to do this year. 01:05:58.000 --> 01:06:05.000 On one of our days where we didn't have any students at the school because we had an e-learning day. 01:06:05.000 --> 01:06:08.000 We all went and got on a school bus 01:06:08.000 --> 01:06:11.000 The whole staff got on the same bus. 01:06:11.000 --> 01:06:13.000 And he had me plot the 01:06:13.000 --> 01:06:16.000 route and we took the bus 01:06:16.000 --> 01:06:21.000 around the neighborhoods where our kids lived. 01:06:21.000 --> 01:06:26.000 It was an eye-opening experience for a lot of people. 01:06:26.000 --> 01:06:28.000 In my school 01:06:28.000 --> 01:06:31.000 we have some of the wealthiest neighborhoods 01:06:31.000 --> 01:06:33.000 in the city of South Bend. 01:06:33.000 --> 01:06:35.000 In the district. 01:06:35.000 --> 01:06:37.000 And also… 01:06:37.000 --> 01:06:39.000 in the same area. 01:06:39.000 --> 01:06:44.000 We have some of the poorest. 01:06:44.000 --> 01:06:47.000 And when we went to certain places, people… 01:06:47.000 --> 01:06:49.000 You could see it in their faces. 01:06:49.000 --> 01:06:52.000 their reactions and hear it in their voices. 01:06:52.000 --> 01:06:56.000 these same kids are coming from different areas. The bus is picking them all around. 01:06:56.000 --> 01:07:06.000 And many of them didn't even live in our city. They drive in from other spots and they work and get in their car and go home. 01:07:06.000 --> 01:07:08.000 But this was the first day that several of them 01:07:08.000 --> 01:07:12.000 Got a chance to see where many of our students were living. 01:07:12.000 --> 01:07:16.000 And my goal and his goal was to help widen their camera. 01:07:16.000 --> 01:07:20.000 To just give a little better understanding of what it's like to 01:07:20.000 --> 01:07:25.000 Welcome. This is where our bus route ends and everybody who lives from here have to walk 01:07:25.000 --> 01:07:29.000 They got to walk in rain, snow, ice, everything else they walk 01:07:29.000 --> 01:07:36.000 If you live from this house over, you have to walk from there over and it's not close. 01:07:36.000 --> 01:07:44.000 or why those parents have a harder time coming to the parent teachers conference because of that kind of situation. 01:07:44.000 --> 01:07:48.000 makes you understand life a little bit better. What's your thoughts? 01:07:48.000 --> 01:07:52.000 That's what you were talking about, Ms. Tucker. 01:07:52.000 --> 01:07:59.000 What y'all think about what Ms. Tucker just said? 01:07:59.000 --> 01:08:05.000 What are your thoughts or wider your camera? 01:08:05.000 --> 01:08:09.000 I agree with what she says in terms of 01:08:09.000 --> 01:08:11.000 of that balance, you know. 01:08:11.000 --> 01:08:14.000 making your choices to 01:08:14.000 --> 01:08:18.000 you know encourage and support your children while still telling them 01:08:18.000 --> 01:08:24.000 take care of yourself. I have a young lady that comes to me quite often. 01:08:24.000 --> 01:08:29.000 in a very similar situation, some of the houses right around the school are pretty nice. 01:08:29.000 --> 01:08:34.000 as you stack out from the school I'm at, it gets a little rougher 01:08:34.000 --> 01:08:39.000 And her only thing is I just want to feel normal like the other kids that were normal. 01:08:39.000 --> 01:08:45.000 I don't have nice things. I have to rotate in a one bedroom apartment 01:08:45.000 --> 01:08:48.000 with mom and mom's living boyfriend 01:08:48.000 --> 01:08:50.000 between the bed and the couch. 01:08:50.000 --> 01:08:58.000 Now this is a girl who is a big girl. She's probably 285 pounds in the seventh grade, probably six foot. She's a big girl. 01:08:58.000 --> 01:09:04.000 And I asked her, what can I do that would help her feel 01:09:04.000 --> 01:09:12.000 some of that normalcy because she's on like a point sheet with me. We have to check in. Otherwise, she gets lost around the school. 01:09:12.000 --> 01:09:16.000 And so I surprised her with a little thing of lip gloss 01:09:16.000 --> 01:09:25.000 And that felt like the most normal thing to her compared to every other kid because it was something she didn't have at that moment and not something she'd ever had. 01:09:25.000 --> 01:09:31.000 Because her whole life has been bounced between family members because of incarceration. 01:09:31.000 --> 01:09:35.000 And so she just really doesn't have anything 01:09:35.000 --> 01:09:36.000 It's amazing how many of my families 01:09:36.000 --> 01:09:41.000 Why ain't got to go to work? Come on here, Gene. 01:09:41.000 --> 01:09:42.000 Okay. 01:09:42.000 --> 01:09:45.000 Come on, you want to go see Halo when she come home? 01:09:45.000 --> 01:09:47.000 Okay. 01:09:47.000 --> 01:09:48.000 I think… 01:09:48.000 --> 01:09:51.000 Come on. Come on. She yikes. 01:09:51.000 --> 01:09:54.000 Come on here, Gene. 01:09:54.000 --> 01:09:55.000 Do that. 01:09:55.000 --> 01:10:01.000 I think so one of the things I think really resonated with me about what Ms. Tucker said 01:10:01.000 --> 01:10:04.000 was the idea of focus. 01:10:04.000 --> 01:10:07.000 And so it made me kind of think of the the um 01:10:07.000 --> 01:10:12.000 about the camera itself and how you may 01:10:12.000 --> 01:10:14.000 in order to see 01:10:14.000 --> 01:10:19.000 an image better, change the lens in which you look at 01:10:19.000 --> 01:10:23.000 you look at things. And so you might have to adjust things so that 01:10:23.000 --> 01:10:27.000 the picture comes up clearer and it kind of brought back the idea of like 01:10:27.000 --> 01:10:36.000 you and the school bus of like, okay, so we have these teachers who have this one view of these kids. Let's take them and we'll change 01:10:36.000 --> 01:10:40.000 the focus and we'll change the lens in which they look at 01:10:40.000 --> 01:10:44.000 at the children. And so they get this different 01:10:44.000 --> 01:10:46.000 understanding of like 01:10:46.000 --> 01:10:51.000 who they actually are working with you know and so 01:10:51.000 --> 01:10:54.000 And I think that can be carried on to wherever. 01:10:54.000 --> 01:11:03.000 you know whether it's in our discipline or any discipline, but that, you know, in order to better help someone, you kind of have to look at them from 01:11:03.000 --> 01:11:05.000 different perspectives. 01:11:05.000 --> 01:11:06.000 Different. 01:11:06.000 --> 01:11:10.000 That makes sense. Am I just rambling? 01:11:10.000 --> 01:11:17.000 And I want you, I mean, your comments tonight and things are really on target because it goes back to what 01:11:17.000 --> 01:11:20.000 Let me go back to one more thing. 01:11:20.000 --> 01:11:23.000 Right here, seeing this. 01:11:23.000 --> 01:11:27.000 Nah, I talked about how Michael Jackson thing affected him. 01:11:27.000 --> 01:11:28.000 I moved on from that. But this is what you… 01:11:28.000 --> 01:11:30.000 He looked out. 01:11:30.000 --> 01:11:33.000 Talking about ACEs. 01:11:33.000 --> 01:11:35.000 your chapter talked about that. 01:11:35.000 --> 01:11:37.000 A veteran's childhood experiences. 01:11:37.000 --> 01:11:40.000 about adverse childhood experiences really 01:11:40.000 --> 01:11:43.000 The whole song of childhood 01:11:43.000 --> 01:11:46.000 to me. 01:11:46.000 --> 01:11:49.000 helps to explain ACEs. 01:11:49.000 --> 01:11:55.000 Adverse child experience can have long-term negative impacts or long-term positive effects. 01:11:55.000 --> 01:12:00.000 adverse childhood experiences are common and some groups experience them more than others. 01:12:00.000 --> 01:12:03.000 And they did this and it helps you to look at that and study 01:12:03.000 --> 01:12:06.000 the outcomes you'll see it 01:12:06.000 --> 01:12:10.000 I've been to several workshops on ACES. 01:12:10.000 --> 01:12:12.000 And I'll put that. 01:12:12.000 --> 01:12:14.000 But it helps us to look at 01:12:14.000 --> 01:12:17.000 the issues that children have gone through. 01:12:17.000 --> 01:12:23.000 And how many of them have gone through. It says associated with their health, such as living under or 01:12:23.000 --> 01:12:25.000 under-resourced. 01:12:25.000 --> 01:12:29.000 or racially segregated neighborhoods can cause toxic stress. 01:12:29.000 --> 01:12:31.000 Um. 01:12:31.000 --> 01:12:33.000 And then I'm going to tell you this. 01:12:33.000 --> 01:12:35.000 It's very interesting. 01:12:35.000 --> 01:12:41.000 concept sometimes 01:12:41.000 --> 01:12:45.000 I am for integration. 01:12:45.000 --> 01:12:51.000 But another person shared with me this older guy. He said he was for desegregation, not integration. 01:12:51.000 --> 01:13:02.000 And that was if people want to live in a white neighborhood, they can live in a white neighborhood. If people want to live in black neighborhood, they can live in black neighborhood. But what happened with integration, they shut down, closed down many of the black schools 01:13:02.000 --> 01:13:07.000 And to integrate it in with the white schools, the black principles became the white teachers. 01:13:07.000 --> 01:13:17.000 And so in many of your urban black neighborhoods, the shops went out, the malls went out, the barbers went out. And now in most cities, you have very few 01:13:17.000 --> 01:13:24.000 Well, we still have the funeral homes and still have that, but most of the hair care products are by a different race or the whole things. 01:13:24.000 --> 01:13:28.000 And it really wiped out black or African American businesses by integration. 01:13:28.000 --> 01:13:31.000 Does that mean that I'm a forced segregation? By no means. 01:13:31.000 --> 01:13:36.000 But in the interplay of all of that, a lot of things got wiped out. 01:13:36.000 --> 01:13:38.000 And so while they say that racially 01:13:38.000 --> 01:13:45.000 segregated areas. The word segregated is the issue of where people are not allowed to live 01:13:45.000 --> 01:13:54.000 But what has happened is some of the integration, when people move into a predominantly white neighborhood, they don't see anybody like themselves, then that leads to another problem. 01:13:54.000 --> 01:14:04.000 Because in my school, it's predominantly African-American and Hispanic. So when a white person is being picked on, they're truly being picked on even more so over there because they're a minority in my school. 01:14:04.000 --> 01:14:11.000 And so it's very interesting. I have to be aware of that because when they ganged up on, it really is 01:14:11.000 --> 01:14:18.000 And other times you will see where the African-American is the minority. And other times it's the Hispanic or whatever your group of population are that makes up your school. 01:14:18.000 --> 01:14:21.000 And so each one of these things 01:14:21.000 --> 01:14:24.000 When you are living with people outside of your group. 01:14:24.000 --> 01:14:32.000 That is also interesting from those standpoints. Sometimes people feel safer living within their groups, like was already stated. 01:14:32.000 --> 01:14:38.000 But those are some kind of the issues that attack. Historical groups, social groups. 01:14:38.000 --> 01:14:52.000 When he lived around everybody in your family's Republican. Everybody in your family is independent. Everybody in your family is Baptist or Catholic and everything else. And then you come home and you're bringing home a woman who is Church of God in Christ, or you bring somebody who goes to church on a different day. 01:14:52.000 --> 01:14:55.000 the shunning that goes on in families is amazing. 01:14:55.000 --> 01:15:01.000 So all of that comes out of our childhood experiences, those zero to 17 years of age. 01:15:01.000 --> 01:15:09.000 So it's good to understand the whole ACES issues and see how many things that people have experienced when they're younger. 01:15:09.000 --> 01:15:14.000 And some of those things are positive. Some of those things are challenging. 01:15:14.000 --> 01:15:30.000 And I'll tell you this, I grew up in a middle class two parent house with people who are doctorates and college professors and sounds wonderful, sounds interesting, but my background can also mess me up. 01:15:30.000 --> 01:15:34.000 Because how then do I look at a family whose mom has five, six, seven kids 01:15:34.000 --> 01:15:38.000 Has mom finished ninth grade? 01:15:38.000 --> 01:15:43.000 If that, it has five kids by five different people. 01:15:43.000 --> 01:15:49.000 Sometimes it's not the camera, sometimes it's the photographer. 01:15:49.000 --> 01:15:57.000 Sometimes the photographer, what my training is great, but my view of my training is the problem where my biases are coming in. 01:15:57.000 --> 01:16:02.000 I'm so glad we got there. It was like something that I wrote down because the line that I liked was. 01:16:02.000 --> 01:16:06.000 being taught approval to like oneself. 01:16:06.000 --> 01:16:10.000 And then like I was connecting that to just this whole metaphor with the camera 01:16:10.000 --> 01:16:18.000 Like I wrote down, I was like, who's holding the camera though and like what lens are they like how are they reading the footage? All of that matters. And like. 01:16:18.000 --> 01:16:28.000 That's us as the social worker. Like, how are we learning to read the imagery that is being captured as we look through that camera and then also 01:16:28.000 --> 01:16:31.000 the responsibility on us to model 01:16:31.000 --> 01:16:36.000 the behavior and how we do that when we navigate the world and when we do our work. 01:16:36.000 --> 01:16:39.000 I had to learn to appreciate the fact that 01:16:39.000 --> 01:16:43.000 Boyfriend many times was the father. 01:16:43.000 --> 01:16:47.000 And that's okay. Because my first thing is why is boyfriend showing up in the meeting? 01:16:47.000 --> 01:16:50.000 Because I grew up in a house where dad and my house 01:16:50.000 --> 01:16:55.000 Boyfriend is just as important in this house. And it may be a multiple boyfriends that show up. 01:16:55.000 --> 01:16:59.000 or maybe multiple people that show about grandmother shows up. 01:16:59.000 --> 01:17:06.000 What is my bias about kids being raised by grandparents or being raised by looking at all these other things come up. 01:17:06.000 --> 01:17:08.000 And so how 01:17:08.000 --> 01:17:11.000 the way the cameras being held by me being 01:17:11.000 --> 01:17:16.000 Had to adjust. I had to learn different things. 01:17:16.000 --> 01:17:30.000 Because sometimes having a middle class, upper class background can help you. And then other times it hurts you. Or then having a coming from a quote unquote lower socioeconomic class, and now you're working with kids who are in this suburb 01:17:30.000 --> 01:17:39.000 you're like, why are they complaining? What pain do they have? I mean, they got a nice car. They got a nice house. They got all this stuff. They can go here, they can go here. Why are they coming in to make me complain? 01:17:39.000 --> 01:17:56.000 So sometimes when you grow up in a more impoverished situation, you cannot hear the pain of somebody who's coming from more of a wealthy background. And then sometimes you grow up in a wealthy background. You cannot hear the pain of somebody's coming in a low socioeconomic background. 01:17:56.000 --> 01:17:59.000 And so in my own 01:17:59.000 --> 01:18:02.000 I always tell people to check yourself on again. 01:18:02.000 --> 01:18:25.000 In my cell phone, if everybody in my cell phone looks like me, thinks like me, do I have all Democrats in mind? Do they all African-American? They're all social work related? Are they all cheering on Harris this weekend? Do I have some people cheering on Trump in my phone? Do I have people that are divorced, married, single, and all that different culture? The more my phone is diverse, the better I can relate to the world. 01:18:25.000 --> 01:18:34.000 And I can hear different issues. I can see different things. Do I delete everybody who's saying garbage board? Sometimes I'm going to delete everybody who's saying that. 01:18:34.000 --> 01:18:38.000 Vote blue. But what about those who are saying vote red, am I saying? 01:18:38.000 --> 01:18:43.000 Can I handle them? 01:18:43.000 --> 01:18:49.000 And that's the challenge of me because I have to serve a wider group of people. 01:18:49.000 --> 01:18:59.000 And I sometimes go to mass at different places and other times I go to the church of God in Christ and other times I go to, I was at a Presbyterian church this past Saturday, funeral there, spoke there. 01:18:59.000 --> 01:19:07.000 So I go to a variety of different places just to challenge my thought. 01:19:07.000 --> 01:19:13.000 So the photographer will not mess up the camera that may be working well. 01:19:13.000 --> 01:19:19.000 Nothing wrong with the camera, nothing wrong with all the social work skills and everything else we're teaching. It's the 01:19:19.000 --> 01:19:22.000 It's the photographer. 01:19:22.000 --> 01:19:25.000 That has to be challenged. 01:19:25.000 --> 01:19:26.000 What's your thoughts? 01:19:26.000 --> 01:19:30.000 What you said made me think of a situation I end up in when working with a client. 01:19:30.000 --> 01:19:35.000 I was working with someone who was homeless and well, who had been homeless 01:19:35.000 --> 01:19:41.000 And I made a comment about why didn't you just go to a shelter? Because I have always told shelters are good. And she said. 01:19:41.000 --> 01:19:44.000 that in where I live. 01:19:44.000 --> 01:19:49.000 a shelter is more unsafe than just living on the streets. And I never would have thought that 01:19:49.000 --> 01:19:51.000 Yeah. 01:19:51.000 --> 01:19:54.000 Shelters born safe. 01:19:54.000 --> 01:20:00.000 How do you handle it? And then knock down the shelter is the best. It's an interesting thing. 01:20:00.000 --> 01:20:05.000 We just automatically go to shelter. Go here, go to that person's house. 01:20:05.000 --> 01:20:11.000 I mean, go get in line, go get food stamps, go get this, go get that. It's so much of an academic experience for us. 01:20:11.000 --> 01:20:15.000 what happens when it becomes real life for us? 01:20:15.000 --> 01:20:18.000 When I had to go on unemployment for the situation. 01:20:18.000 --> 01:20:21.000 I was underemployed. And I tell you 01:20:21.000 --> 01:20:24.000 I sat in that car for a long while in that parking lot. 01:20:24.000 --> 01:20:28.000 Is anybody going to recognize me? 01:20:28.000 --> 01:20:30.000 Aren't you the one? Yes, I'm the one. 01:20:30.000 --> 01:20:37.000 When the social workouts go here to help. It's something else. 01:20:37.000 --> 01:20:39.000 Yeah. 01:20:39.000 --> 01:20:44.000 So again, not only making sure my camera's great. 01:20:44.000 --> 01:20:47.000 but also dealing with how I look at life. 01:20:47.000 --> 01:20:51.000 It just makes me think of the man in the mirror song again you know 01:20:51.000 --> 01:21:04.000 Oh, I know. That's why I ignored it. I start out with a man in the Mirror song. That's my anchor song, you know? I got to look in the mirror. And then as I look at the mirror, then I come and start assessing my childhood. 01:21:04.000 --> 01:21:10.000 Got another song for you next week, next few weeks there. I go through the whole Jackson thing, you know. 01:21:10.000 --> 01:21:12.000 And so… 01:21:12.000 --> 01:21:17.000 felt like I was using my last song today after something that's lost, but I stayed on point. 01:21:17.000 --> 01:21:21.000 We hear four people. It's 823. 01:21:21.000 --> 01:21:23.000 For people, what stood out for them tonight? 01:21:23.000 --> 01:21:31.000 As they looked at where is their childhood or our conversation, have you seen my childhood? 01:21:31.000 --> 01:21:34.000 What's your thoughts? 01:21:34.000 --> 01:21:37.000 We're people who would be number one? 01:21:37.000 --> 01:22:02.000 What stood out for you? 01:22:02.000 --> 01:22:09.000 Somebody tell us what stood out for you tonight? 01:22:09.000 --> 01:22:12.000 And this is for anything that we heard tonight. 01:22:12.000 --> 01:22:14.000 Or just a song? 01:22:14.000 --> 01:22:15.000 What? 01:22:15.000 --> 01:22:16.000 Everything we heard today, everything we heard. 01:22:16.000 --> 01:22:17.000 I really… 01:22:17.000 --> 01:22:22.000 Conversations, what you heard from other learners in the class. 01:22:22.000 --> 01:22:28.000 I really like, I don't remember the name of it, but the purple and the green 01:22:28.000 --> 01:22:35.000 I really took a lot away from that, especially the conversation and then like really applying it to 01:22:35.000 --> 01:22:40.000 My child, when I was in education, how that like, you know, how that looks 01:22:40.000 --> 01:22:44.000 also like moving forward in the work that i do now like 01:22:44.000 --> 01:22:46.000 making sure that 01:22:46.000 --> 01:22:55.000 I am like the example that we said about encouragement. I'm encouraging the curricula 01:22:55.000 --> 01:22:58.000 Mm-hmm. 01:22:58.000 --> 01:23:04.000 Oh, yeah, that's huge. Looking at that, I've seen that poem. I learned years ago. 01:23:04.000 --> 01:23:07.000 And I still… 01:23:07.000 --> 01:23:10.000 I still assess myself of that because I assess myself 01:23:10.000 --> 01:23:12.000 for the children I see. 01:23:12.000 --> 01:23:15.000 And then I assess that poem 01:23:15.000 --> 01:23:17.000 As I look at me in the mirror. 01:23:17.000 --> 01:23:20.000 Just say, why am I being so critical on this issue? 01:23:20.000 --> 01:23:23.000 Why am I being so hard on that issue? 01:23:23.000 --> 01:23:26.000 And oftentimes it's because of the way I was raised. 01:23:26.000 --> 01:23:33.000 And that goes back to not only being raised and being critical on others, it's critical on my own self. 01:23:33.000 --> 01:23:36.000 Because even though people are dead. 01:23:36.000 --> 01:23:45.000 And I could still hear them yelling at me or fussing at me. And now they're gone and I'm still fighting that issue. 01:23:45.000 --> 01:23:57.000 And a lot of times what people are fighting from a Halloween thing, a ghost from the past, a grandmother's voice, you this, you bad, you this. And without thinking about it, they pass that on to other generations. 01:23:57.000 --> 01:24:00.000 That's how many generational courses are done. 01:24:00.000 --> 01:24:02.000 Well, thank you for sharing that. 01:24:02.000 --> 01:24:04.000 What else stood out for you? Number two. 01:24:04.000 --> 01:24:08.000 We got one down, two to go. 01:24:08.000 --> 01:24:16.000 I appreciated the moments and it's sticking with me just about flipping through my phone and looking at my photos or 01:24:16.000 --> 01:24:21.000 My social media and things like that and what level of diversity 01:24:21.000 --> 01:24:24.000 is in these things, even if I don't 01:24:24.000 --> 01:24:28.000 hold the same value or the same belief or 01:24:28.000 --> 01:24:33.000 Even if I'm coming from a completely different perspective than another person. 01:24:33.000 --> 01:24:36.000 Still, the openness to be able 01:24:36.000 --> 01:24:40.000 to have space for it, respect that there's 01:24:40.000 --> 01:24:46.000 divergent thinking in the world, if you will, and that if I do 01:24:46.000 --> 01:24:49.000 cut myself off. 01:24:49.000 --> 01:24:56.000 From those information channels, I'm limiting exposure and I'm limiting my ability to 01:24:56.000 --> 01:25:00.000 We'll go back, like, you know, expand to like a more panoramic uh 01:25:00.000 --> 01:25:04.000 picture foot or frame as I look through my camera kind of thing. 01:25:04.000 --> 01:25:06.000 When I teach policy classes too. 01:25:06.000 --> 01:25:11.000 And I have to really guard myself as I grade different learners paper. 01:25:11.000 --> 01:25:17.000 Because if they are coming from more of a Republican point of view, and I'm a right, I'm a left-wing Democrat. 01:25:17.000 --> 01:25:19.000 Am I fair with their paper? 01:25:19.000 --> 01:25:25.000 Have I allowed them to argue the paper? Is their grade based on the fact that they are a Republican? 01:25:25.000 --> 01:25:30.000 Or is there great based on the fact that they have covered the content? 01:25:30.000 --> 01:25:36.000 And I have to make sure that it's content and not because they are arguing from a Republican point of view. 01:25:36.000 --> 01:25:45.000 Because that's not fair. Republicans and Democrats and independents should be able to have the same ability to get an A in my class and move forward. 01:25:45.000 --> 01:25:48.000 And I have to assess that self every time. 01:25:48.000 --> 01:25:51.000 Thank you. Two things tomorrow. 01:25:51.000 --> 01:25:53.000 We're almost done. 01:25:53.000 --> 01:25:54.000 What's it out? 01:25:54.000 --> 01:25:58.000 I think that for me, I really 01:25:58.000 --> 01:26:00.000 I guess talking about APS as well 01:26:00.000 --> 01:26:05.000 I guess kind of realizing that just because of the way i live 01:26:05.000 --> 01:26:10.000 might be clean. It might be a you know more organized house and going into a home that's 01:26:10.000 --> 01:26:17.000 not the best and not the most cleanly that just because, you know, it's not up to my standards doesn't mean that that's not up to their standards. 01:26:17.000 --> 01:26:27.000 And I think too, when I think it's Trinidad that was mentioning like the name thing, you know, we have cases that 01:26:27.000 --> 01:26:32.000 come in, you know, we've had them open 30, 40 times in adult protection and 01:26:32.000 --> 01:26:35.000 I too will look at the name and be like. 01:26:35.000 --> 01:26:36.000 Mm-hmm. 01:26:36.000 --> 01:26:39.000 All right, here we go again. But I think that 01:26:39.000 --> 01:26:44.000 because of being a social worker and because of all these classes that I've been taking 01:26:44.000 --> 01:26:48.000 Learning to, I guess, see like a different perspective and like okay well 01:26:48.000 --> 01:26:53.000 Clearly, this didn't happen or this didn't work last time, so what can I do this time that might have a better 01:26:53.000 --> 01:26:59.000 outcome or they're coming in 30 different times for a reason. So how can I prevent that instead of being so quick to judge and saying. 01:26:59.000 --> 01:27:01.000 Well, you didn't follow through with this. Well. 01:27:01.000 --> 01:27:05.000 there's a reason why they probably didn't follow through so 01:27:05.000 --> 01:27:08.000 Yeah, I guess I kind of like that aspect of the class. 01:27:08.000 --> 01:27:11.000 Cool. All righty. Thank you. 01:27:11.000 --> 01:27:14.000 Learning her backgrounds in 01:27:14.000 --> 01:27:20.000 how we differ and how we don't, how that helps us is important. 01:27:20.000 --> 01:27:24.000 Closes out. Final thought. 01:27:24.000 --> 01:27:27.000 We're at 829. Make it brief. 01:27:27.000 --> 01:27:31.000 I feel like that's a lot of pressure, but I was going to bounce off of that um 01:27:31.000 --> 01:27:32.000 Don't worry. 01:27:32.000 --> 01:27:37.000 I just, coming from also like a child protection service background, working in foster care. 01:27:37.000 --> 01:27:47.000 Similar to what you were saying where like boyfriend comes into the picture or like there's different people that come into the picture for children those children like 01:27:47.000 --> 01:27:53.000 the adults in their life mean a lot to them sometimes, regardless of the amount of abuse that they've experienced. 01:27:53.000 --> 01:27:57.000 But a lot of times we're really quick to point fingers and and you know 01:27:57.000 --> 01:28:05.000 not try to understand and kind of bash those parents, but those are like major adults in like kids lives and it's we have to 01:28:05.000 --> 01:28:13.000 I often have to remind foster parents in our program to remember to put yourself in their shoes and try to understand their perspective as well. 01:28:13.000 --> 01:28:20.000 And next week, well, our next presentation in weeks number six, we're going to talk about a lot of that. 01:28:20.000 --> 01:28:23.000 Because we have to do that. 01:28:23.000 --> 01:28:30.000 So I said at the beginning, those who may need to stay on afterwards for some challenges and groups, feel free to do that. 01:28:30.000 --> 01:28:36.000 Or you can still feel free to email me. I'm going to try to work out this situation because I do recognize that some of you 01:28:36.000 --> 01:28:41.000 have had some challenges with some of your groups and we'll work through everybody so we can all 01:28:41.000 --> 01:28:43.000 get out here successfully. 01:28:43.000 --> 01:28:45.000 And if some… 01:28:45.000 --> 01:28:51.000 Assignments are a little later than I really wanted them to be. I'll live with it because we got to get done. 01:28:51.000 --> 01:28:55.000 So I have to learn to be more patient myself. 01:28:55.000 --> 01:28:57.000 Sound cool. 01:28:57.000 --> 01:29:01.000 I appreciate you understanding our childhood. 01:29:01.000 --> 01:29:03.000 issues and we look forward to 01:29:03.000 --> 01:29:07.000 Heading down Jackson Way in two more weeks. Thanks for coming tonight. 01:29:07.000 --> 01:29:09.000 I appreciate y'all. And I'm 01:29:09.000 --> 01:29:10.000 Having in. 01:29:10.000 --> 01:29:12.000 I will record you. 01:29:12.000 --> 01:29:13.000 Bye. 01:29:13.000 --> 01:29:17.000 Bye. 01:29:13.000 --> 01:29:17.000 Good night