personal growth paper

Getting out of yourself and writing your own life

What does it mean to “get out of yourself”?

· Remember that we have a collection of beliefs about ourselves

· Self-concept

· I am a good person

· I value helping others

· I am scared of heights

· These beliefs (self-schemas) are concerned with personality, ability, values, goals, social roles, perceptions, etc.

· Part of our beliefs include setting limitations for ourselves

· I am not artistically talented

· I would never be able to give a talk to 100 people

· I’m too shy

· I can’t understand chemistry

Why would we set limitations for ourselves?

Self-Imposed Limitations

· Why do we set limitations for ourselves?

· There are a number of reasons why limitations can be helpful

· I am not somebody who drinks and drives

· I don’t like spicy food

· I don’t let strangers into my home

· These limitations come from past experiences, feedback from others

· They are adaptive mechanisms for self preservation

· As with any protective mechanism, too much of a good thing is a bad thing

· Has this happened to you?

· What happens if you ignore those limitations?

· Anxiety/Discomfort

· The body’s way of signaling about a perceived threat

· Cognitive Dissonance?

· Conflict when we hold two opposing beliefs

· The distance between who you say and believe you are and who your actions say you are

What does it mean to get out of yourself?

· Getting out of yourself means going beyond the limitations you have imposed on yourself

· Experiencing something you didn’t think you could

· Letting go of beliefs that no longer serve you or add value to your life

· Sitting with the discomfort

· When we sit with discomfort instead of avoiding it we promote growth

· Resiliency, skill development, emotional regulation, choice muscle

· Therapy is about finding what causes you discomfort, becoming aware of it, sitting with it, deciding what to change about it

What is it like to get out of yourself?

· For me, I have to get out of my limitations related to anxiety every time I teach a new class

· It is excruciating/exhilarating

· Simultaneously the best and worst part

· In college my limitations were even more restrictive than they are now

· The result of challenging myself has been growth that I can measure through the experiences in my life

· Getting out of myself has led to a positive outcome

· That doesn’t mean it’s been easy/pretty

· What has it been like for all of you?

· When have you challenged your self-imposed limitations and “gotten out of yourself”?

· What did you do/are you planning to do for your paper?

· What did you experience?

· What did you learn?

Would you push yourself outside of your comfort zone again?

Writing our own lives

· Life is a collection of stories we tell to and about ourselves

· Limitations are part of the story we tell about ourselves

· Writing your life means taking an active role in creating your life and the story you tell about it

· When you have awareness and you are purposeful you are actively writing your life

· This is what personal growth is all about

· Take inventory of what you have learned about yourself this semester

· Beliefs

· Values

· Goals

· Personality

· Decide who you are

Self-Authorship is part of healthy personal growth

Self Authorship Defined

· Ability to develop your own perspective

· Capacity to author or invent one’s own beliefs, sense of self, and relationships with others

· Reflection of how you express how you know something

· What do I really know? How do I know?

· Active meaning-making

· Synthesis of different parts of your personality

· Values

· Loyalties

· Beliefs

Three main components of self-authorship

· Trust your internal voice

· Listening to your gut

· Trusting yourself to make the right choices

· Building an internal foundation

· Having a strong and secure base

· Securing internal commitments

· Through actions that are consistent with your beliefs

· Walking the walk