volcano

GEOL130 Paper-Warda Alaisari

Here are my general comments about your paper:

 You have several APA formatting errors.

o APA 7 does not include a running head. Remove “Effects of Volcanoes” from

the header on the cover page (on every page)

o The title of the paper should be BOLD

o Skip two lines and list your name, the name of the course (Geology 130), my

name (Dr. Brian Swenty), and the date (16 June 2021)

o See

https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/research_and_citation/apa_style/apa_formatting_and_

style_guide/general_format.html

 The paper title on page two should be BOLD and the same font as the rest of the paper.

 The heading (Introduction) on page 2 is not necessary

 All headings in the paper should centered, BOLD, and the same font as the rest of the

paper

 On the first page, you mention “three” kinds of volcanoes, then list four different types

of volcanoes: cinder volcanoes, composite volcanoes, shield volcanoes, and dome

volcanoes. You only describe three types of volcanoes in the introduction; shield

volcanoes are not described. This discrepancy needs to be resolved.

 You include a general thesis in the last sentence of the third paragraph in your

introduction. The thesis mentions three topics: volcano impacts on political,

economic, and natural environment. The Eyjafjallajokull Volcano was not mentioned

in the thesis, yet the 2010 eruption of this volcano is the theme of the paper. I

recommend modifying your thesis to state that “the 2010 eruption of the

Eyjafjallajokull Volcano had economic and environmental impacts to Iceland and the

European Continent.”

 I do not see a clear connection between the three introduction paragraphs describing

“types of volcanoes,” the thesis, and the body of the paper.

 The Eyjafjallajokull Volcano is a composite or stratovolcano that was covered with an

ice cap prior to the 2010 eruption. This is an important point yet it is not mentioned in

the thesis. You mention water vaporizing at the top of the volcano on page 4.

 Edits are needed in the paper for clarity (eruption’s eruption…on page 4)

 Try to limit use of words “then,” “also,” and “however” in a technical paper (see first

paragraph on page 5).

 Write out and explain all acronyms before you use them (“GB pounds” on page 4)

 You did a good job describing the economic and environmental impacts of the

Eyjafjallajokull Volcano, but there was little written about political impacts. Consider

removing any reference to “political impacts” from the thesis.

 The body of the paper is not clearly linked to the thesis.

 The conclusion or summary should reiterate key points from the body of the paper to

support the thesis. The summary is too generic and does not summarize the specific

impacts of the Eyjafjallajokull Volcano.

 New information should not be included in the summary of a technical paper. Your

“Toya and Skidmore” citation (and sentence) should be moved to the body of the

paper.

 Consider including a map showing the location of the volcano and photos of the

eruption. If you include maps and photos, insert them into the paper as figures.

Include APA Figure numbers and captions. Make sure you cite the source of the map

or figure at the end of the caption and list the source on the Reference page. See

https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/research_and_citation/apa_style/apa_formatting_and_style

_guide/apa_tables_and_figures.html

 The left margin on the Reference page should be the same as the body of the paper.

You did a good job using sources. All five of your sources are cited in the paper

This is a good draft paper, but edits are needed…after you make corrections, you should have a

much better final paper.

Please let me know if you have any questions.