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Healthy Boys

            There are many different factors that go into raising an emotionally and relationally healthy young man.  From pornography and liberal feminism to internet addictions and pressure to perform at sports, there are a myriad of issues that could prevent a young man from growing up to be a confident and committed men. Probably the most threatening, however is the demise of the family due to the increased divorce rate and the tragedy of single- parent situations when one of the partners leave. Each of the parents have roles to play in raising the child, and when the family is not intact, the child is the one who suffers.

            When a family is split apart, it affects the couple, the children, and ultimately society. The family was designed to function as a whole, and when one piece is missing, it does not work as it is supposed to. Fathers, who are supposed to act as role models and mentors are not just walking away from their jobs, but they are also setting a precedent and providing a powerful, if wrong, example for their children, especially sons, to follow (Dobson, 2001).  The fears and anxiety left behind when a divorce occur will affect the child for their life; Dr. Judith Wallerstein, as quoted by Dobson (2001) relates that increased drug use, poor school performance, premarital sex, and higher rates of divorce can all be traced to divorce in a childhood.

            As mentioned before, boys are particularly susceptible to the lack of a father figure in their lives. One of the main roles a father plays for his son is to provide an example of how to live as a man should (Dobson, 2001).  If there is no father present, a son will in still look to the example the father set for him, but instead of a committed and loving father, he now sees abandonment and distance. A father should be teaching his son what it is like to be the family’s leader, protector, provider, and spiritual guide (Dobson, 2001). Another role a father a father plays in his son’s life is that of disciplinarian; a son whose father is absent is more likely to drop out of school and have trouble with the law (Dobson, 2001).

            A mother’s role is no less important.  The bond she and her son form in the early years of life will affect the child the rest of his life (Dobson, 2001). Without the attachment, sons suffer from a variety of physical and emotional problems later in adulthood (Dobson, 2001).  The attachment between a mother and son is designed to establish a safe and healthy environment, allowing the son to have emotional support and protection in her love (Dobson, 2001). A mother is also well designed to help reign in some of the boy’s rambunctious and physical activity; Dr. Dobson (2001) says she helps the boy be “civilized” (p. 88). The other function a mother performs is to set the tone for the house and be the consistent supporter and tradition setter for the family.  Her physical presence when she is able to stay home and not send a child to daycare prevents future behavioral problems (Dobson, 2001).

            Parenting is a job best suited for two people.  Each serves a particular job in a family, and without both parents involved, something is lost.  And it might just be the child.

References

Dobson, J. (2001). Bringing up boys: Practical advice and encouragement for those shaping the next generation of men. Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House.