Practical Communication and Public Speaking Skills TEST

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G110-Segment1.pdf

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Thomas Francis University • Course G110 • Segment 1

THE ART OF BEING HUMAN IN A TECHNOLOGICAL WORLD

(OR, HOW TO BUILD EXCELLENT PEOPLE SKILLS)

—Douglas R. Kelley, PhD, CH, CSL

Updated: May 16, 2023

Upon Completion of this Segment, You Will Know:

• How to be personable, not impersonal.

• How to make your emails more personable and professional.

• Texting etiquette.

The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers.

—Sydney J. Harris

ife in our modern world can become so fast paced and busy that it can be easy to forget that

we live first and foremost in a human world, not a technological world. Common everyday

courtesies seem to be disappearing. Friendly “hellos” and smiles have largely given way to

the pressures and demands of a “get-it-done-fast-and-move-on-to-the-next-task” mentality. Many

folks are so wrapped up in eking out an existence that they’ve forgotten how to live. We must not

allow technology to rob us of our humanity and assimilate us therefore making us essentially just like

impersonal robots.

An example of this is online forums that offer anonymity to posters. This has led some individuals

to sling “dirt” at others with whom they disagree, or otherwise put people down with ad hominem

attacks. It seems that behind the cloak of anonymity, some people have no problem passive-aggres-

sively saying things that they would never say to another person’s face. In my opinion, they have

allowed technology to rob them of their humanness.

Life is a dish best served with healthy and meaningful interdependent relationships as the main

course, and technology as a side item. In other words, technology should support and enhance our

relationships, not supplant them.

As a human being, is technology unwittingly undermining your relationships with others and assim-

ilating you into its unthinking and unfeeling fold? The primary way to remain human in a technological

world is to be personable, not impersonal. Technology is impersonal; humans should be personable

and down to earth.

L

Segment 1: The Art of Being Human in a Technological World

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As I’ve stated, healthy relationships are inextricably linked to good communication skills. Indeed,

effective communication or people skills are the most important skills you will ever learn.

PRACTICAL WAYS TO SHOW THE ART OF BEING HUMAN

How can you control technology and not let it control you? As with anything, balance is the key.

Consider the following points in this regard.

• Don’t get so focused on “things” that you forget that “things” only matter to the extent that

they benefit someone. If you remove the human component from what you do, will you still

have a job or career? The answer is no, regardless of what you do.

• Smile and greet people as a matter of routine. Does this mean that you need to smile and say

hello to every person you pass on the street? No. It means you should when the time and

occasion is appropriate. It means that you greet others with a bit of a positive spark. It means

that you notice the people you work and live with, and your demeanor reflects it. Be person-

able, not impersonal. Wearing a smile can even affect your mood in a positive way. Have you

ever noticed people who seem to walk around with a continuous smile? (Kind of makes you

wonder what they’re up to! ☺) Try this: Practice putting on a smile when you are all alone.

Consciously wear it for 10 minutes and see if it doesn’t brighten your mood. Do it often and

you might just find yourself one of those smiling people! Now, I’m not necessarily suggesting

that you walk around with a perpetual look of glee on your face, but so what? There are worse

things in the world and a smile is better than a frown!

As a speaker, I’ve spent a lot of time in hotels across the country. As I’ve set up outside the

meeting room in the early morning to do a seminar, people have frequently passed by. I’ve

always made it a point to always say, “Good Morning, how are you?” By way of response, I’ve

gotten everything from being ignored, to a grunt from a guy who hadn’t had his coffee yet, to

a cheerful “Good! And you?” to an obviously religious hotel maintenance worker who replied,

“Blessed and highly favored” (but he didn’t ask how I was doing). Most people only reply by

rote. Few reply with genuine interest. How would you reply?

• Show an interest in people to a reasonable degree. Ask the people you work with about them-

selves, their stories, their aspirations, their dreams, etc., as the occasion may warrant. Listen

to them; you just might learn something about yourself! If you happen to be a manager, meet

with your employees one-on-one or by phone regularly to give them and you a chance to con-

nect. Ask your people about their goals and objectives; ask them how you can help them

achieve these goals. Show an interest in them as human beings.

• Adopt a positive, upbeat, and cheerful outlook. Pat people on the back for a job well done.

Don’t hold back from building others up with a kind and encouraging word when the occasion

warrants. Be enthusiastically happy for others’ successes. A simple encouraging word can work

wonders in people!

MAKING YOUR EMAILS PERSONABLE AND PROFESSIONAL

Your written words tell a story about you and this includes your routine emails. Sending an

initial email to someone is like meeting someone for the first time. What kind of impression do

you want to make? If your message is poorly written and contains typos and punctuation problems,

Segment 1: The Art of Being Human in a Technological World

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you probably won’t make a good impression. I frequently receive emails from people I’ve never

met. Far too often, the person just launches into the message without so much as a “Hi” or “Hello”

or an introduction. And then as if to add insult to injury, they expect a response but don’t even

include their name. Spelling can be an entirely different matter as well. When you send emails for

personal or business matters, keep the following points of good email etiquette in mind:

• Strive to reply to emails promptly. Don’t put off sending a reply because it is easy to forget.

• When sending an email that involves a new topic, start a new message. In other words, don’t

use an old email to send a new topic.

• Make sure to place the topic of the email in the “Subject” field. This helps to quickly find an

important email.

• When sending an email to many different people such as all your friends, do not place all of

their email addresses in the “To” or the “CC” fields. Put your own email address in the “To”

field and use the “BCC” (Blind Carbon Copy) field for everyone else. This method hides the

recipients’ email addresses and prevents them from being broadcast and rebroadcast all over

the Net (which then makes the email addresses available to spammers).

• DON’T TYPE WITH ALL CAPS, WHICH IS COMMONLY VIEWED AS SHOUTING IN ONLINE COMMU-

NICATION. Surprisingly, some people still do this.

• don’t type in all lower case. it just sends the message that you are too lazy to punctuate

correctly.make sure that the email you send reflects themessage and image you want to pre-

sent again, punctuate your sentences, and use upper case for the first letter of the first

word of a sentence, as well as people’s names (and yes, this bullet point was deliberately

written without proper punctuation).

• Format your email so that it looks acceptable (see the previous bullet point). Email and web

addresses are commonly formatted with all lower case letters, but the message should not

be.

• Use a salutation or greeting, such as “Hi so-and-so,” “Hey so-and-so,” or “Hello!” etc. Per-

sonalize it with their name. You’ve heard it before: the sweetest word in any language is a

person’s own name. Using people’s names honors and dignifies them as human beings. Of

course, if you are emailing back and forth in a short time frame, you may choose to simply

use “Hey,” or “Hi.” In this situation, it’s only necessary to use the full greeting the first time

around.

• Keep your tone upbeat and your words non-abrasive. Remember that the overall message we

send in face-to-face situations is made up of words, voice tone, and body language. This means

that when you send an email, you are only using one out of three of what’s commonly used in

face-to-face communication. This, in turn, means you must be extra careful that the message

you send is the one you want to send. Don’t use abrupt or abrasive words. Soften your words

with phrases such as, “I was wondering if there is a way to…” or “Is there any way I can ask

you to…” etc. And if you ever get an email that seems a bit abrupt or offensive, give the other

person the benefit of the doubt keeping in mind that only a part of the overall message is

coming through. People usually don’t intend to be offensive.

Segment 1: The Art of Being Human in a Technological World

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• While there are always exceptions to rules, generally speaking, do not handle important per-

sonal matters such as discipline or conflict resolution via email. Handle these types of issues

face-to-face if possible, or over the phone if face-to-face is not possible.

• Proof and re-read your email before you send it. If it is a very important email, wait awhile

before you send it, and then re-read it to make sure it sends the overall message you intend

in a professional manner. You can even have a trusted friend proof it before sending.

• Use spell check! It’s importnt to understand this in perspective. We all misspel words occa-

sionally, and try as we may to prufe our ritings, we can miss things at times. The question is

whether we even try to make it wright. When I recieve an email with a single misspelling, I

automatically attribute it to “the one that got by.” But when I see a message that is rifel with

mispellings, it tells me something about the person. To present a professional and competent

image and message, prufe and spell check your emalls (and yes, this bullet point was deliber-

ately misspelled as well).

• Use a closing, such as “Sincerely,” “My best,” “Best wishes,” “All my best,” “Best Regards,”

“Namasté (I bow to the divine in you),” etc. If you are replying to a question, you can include

something like, “Hope this helps!” Doing so will present a good impression. You can also make

your message upbeat with the phrase, “Have a great day!”

• Sign using your name, and if it is someone who doesn’t know you, use your first and last name

along with any signature information you want included.

TEXTING ETIQUETTE

Texting is often a very useful method of communication and has become a way of life for most

people. Below are some things to keep in mind when texting:

• Texting is intended for short messages, not lengthy discussions. Not everyone may have un-

limited texting in their phone plans.

• Try to reply to texts promptly whenever possible. If you can’t reply properly right away, then

text a brief message that says something like, “Bear with me; will reply ASAP.” If a text does

not necessarily require a reply, it is good to at least acknowledge receipt of the text with a

“Thanks!” or a smiley face. Avoid using “K” or “k” as a reply because it is considered rude

much like typing in all caps is considered yelling.

• Be specific in your texts; don’t be ambiguous. Be careful with overusing abbreviations. Not

everyone knows what abbreviations mean. Also, be sure to include your name when texting

to people who may not know you or have your number. You could start with something like,

“Hi, it’s Lisa from the exercise class….”

• Be personable in your texts. Be mindful of the overall tone of your texts. Be careful to not

come off as dismissive or rude. If a text seems negative, assume that it was unintentional.

Many of the same email rules discussed above apply to texting.

• Spell your words correctly and proof your text to catch any potentially embarrassing autofill

mistakes.

• Use emojis sparingly and appropriately. Know what an emoji means before you use it.

Segment 1: The Art of Being Human in a Technological World

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• If you receive a text by mistake, respond with something like, “Sorry, wrong number.”

• Do not text while driving or operating machinery. Even though it is illegal to do and even

though we’ve heard this advice numerous times, some people still do it. Don’t be one of those

people.

• One thing that I personally dislike is doing business with strangers solely via text. This is hap-

pening more and more with online selling sites like Craig’s List and Facebook Market Place—

especially among the younger generations. For safety and security reasons, I personally will

never meet with someone to buy or sell an item without first having talked to them on the

phone. After the initial phone call, then texting is fine as appropriate.

Respecting Boundaries when Texting

• Make sure you are texting the right person.

• Don’t text employees, bosses, teachers, students, etc. outside of business hours unless it is

an emergency.

• Don’t text people without their permission. This is called spam. Sometimes, permission can

be implied such as when a legitimate personal or business relationship has been established.

• Don’t text too early in the morning or too late at night and never during the middle of the

night unless it is an emergency. And if it is an emergency, then call instead. Texting outside

of “social hours” is also illegal in many countries (see footnote below). 1

• Don’t keep texting when there is no reply. People don’t always see the text right away or they

may be indisposed at the moment. If your message is urgent, call instead.

• Don’t text bad news or to break up with someone. Talk to them in person if at all possible. If

it’s not possible, then call them.

• Don’t be aggressive or passive-aggressive. Don’t text anything you wouldn’t say face-to-face.

Segment 2 of this course discussed these undesirable communication traits.

• Do not text if you are upset, drunk, or high. Of course, if you are drunk or high, then you

probably won’t remember this advice.

• Never text questionable photos or anything that is private, confidential, or a potential cause

for embarrassment. Never send explicit photos of yourself or another person. It is tasteless,

low-class, and potentially illegal. Also, avoid sexting because you never know where your text

will end up. It could result in a very embarrassing situation.

• Use good judgment regarding texting during certain events or circumstances such as the mov-

ies/theater, concerts, plays, dinners, when in class, or when engaged in a conversation with

someone. Doing so is disrespectful. If you must reply to an important text during one of these

events, politely excuse yourself and find a private area so you do not disrupt others.

• “Ghosting” is a recent term that simply means that you ignore someone such as a friend,

acquaintance, or someone you are dating. Ghosting them means you ignore them and do not

reply to any texts, emails, or phone calls. Ghosting is considered to be bad because a person

1 Texting Laws: https://www.textmagic.com/blog/text-messaging-laws-your-business-should-know.

Segment 1: The Art of Being Human in a Technological World

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should have the courage and maturity to let the other person know that a relationship is no

longer desired. In Course MHs.B4: Metaphysical Principles of Enhanced Relationships, the “No-

Contact Rule” is discussed and is similar to but not the same as “Ghosting.” If you are leaving

a toxic relationship and the other person will not leave you alone or is stalking you, then

breaking off all contact (or “Ghosting”) is absolutely recommended and required. Afterall, in

such a circumstance, you have already informed the other person of you decision to end the

relationship and they are not complying.

Remember, we have meaningful relationships with people, not with computers. Relationships are

things to be cherished. When all is said and done, will we look back on our lives and wish we’d had a

better, faster, more feature-rich computer, or the latest iPhone, iPod, or some other “iGadget?” Or

will we wish we’d invested more of the time we had on deepening our relationships with those who

mattered?

One thing is certain: technology will continue to grow and improve, and therefore, we human

beings have a choice. We can either control technology or be controlled by it. We can either use it

to enhance our lives by remaining personable and down to earth, or we can essentially become just

like it by being impersonal to others. Again, we must not allow technology to rob us of our humanity

and assimilate us, making us essentially like robots that can neither think nor feel.