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JuLy/auGuST 20192 Sharing A Journal of Christian Healing

The Meaning of Forgive

The word “forgive” means to grant or give pardon to someone who has offended, hurt or harmed you, who has sinned or trespassed against you before the offender has requested pardon. Literally, forgive means to give before pardon is asked. Forgiveness is the very center of the gospel message. It is only through God’s giving of Himself, through the suffering and death of His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, that forgiveness from our offenses against God and others is possible.

Forgiveness: An Unending Response to God’s Goodness

21 Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” (Matthew 18:21-22)

W hat exactly did Jesus mean when He directed Peter to forgive seventy times seven? Although scholars say Jesus may be referring to a particular prophetic passage in the Book of Daniel, He is also emphasizing that we should avoid limitation in the number of times we grant forgiveness. In one’s life forgiveness must be an ongoing theme, a daily practice that is never limited in generosity but continues throughout one’s life as an unending response to God’s gift of forgiveness through Jesus’ giving of His own life.

An Open Door to Healing

Forgiveness:

By The rev. Dr. mara LIeF CraBTree Part 1 of a 2 part series on Forgiveness

JuLy/auGuST 20192 Sharing A Journal of Christian Healing

3Sharing A Journal of Christian HealingJuLy/auGuST 2019

Forgiveness Before Giving

Jesus clarified that withholding forgiveness from others is in direct disobedience to the Lord’s teaching. Forgiveness is of primary importance to those who would be disciples of Christ, for the act of forgiveness reflects the character of Christ. This primacy of forgiveness in Jesus’ teaching is evidenced by His instruction to forgive before we present our gifts to God. Without our willingness to forgive others, our time, talents, treasures and ministries are not acceptable to the Lord: Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift. (Matthew 5:23-24)

Remembering God’s Generous Forgiveness of Our Sin

In a stunning parable Jesus clarifies God’s expectations of those whom He has generously forgiven:

Therefore, the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he had begun to settle them, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. But since he did not have the means to repay, his lord commanded him to be sold, along with his wife and children and all that he had, and repayment to be made. So the servants fell to the ground and prostrated himself before him saying , “Have patience with me and I will repay you everything.” And the lord of that servant felt compassion and released him and forgave him the debt. But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he seized him and began to choke him saying , “Pay back what you owe.” So his fellow servant… began to plead with him saying , “Have patience with me and I will repay you.” But he was unwilling… and threw him in prison until he should pay back what was owed. So when his fellow servants saw what had happened, they were deeply grieved and came and reported to their lord all that had happened. Then summoning him, his lord said to him, “You wicked servant, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow servant, in the same way that I had mercy on you?” (Matthew 18:23-33)

If we withhold forgiveness from those who have harmed us, then we are forgetting the highest price paid by the Father’s only begotten Son, who suffered and died for our forgiveness and freedom from sin against God. W hen we withhold forgiveness from others, we are forgetting our own great debt of sin from which God has forgiven us by treating others with selfishness and arrogance.

Recognizing Our Vulnerability and Our Pride

Forgiveness of others is a recognition of our own sinfulness; it is a work of humility indicating we all have offended and hurt others. W hen we refuse to forgive, we are placing self-pride fully above the value of right relationships with others. Pride assumes the attitude that we are morally superior to others, because we have not committed the sins others have committed against us. We must realize our own moral vulnerability and maintain an attitude of humility; for confronted with certain temptations, we too may fall prey to sin in ways we never imagined could happen to us.

Some say, “The sin against me is so great I can never forgive what that person has done.” Forgiveness is a matter of volition—an act of the will. The Lord will never ask us to complete an action without providing the empowerment of the Holy Spirit needed for obedience to His will. Everyone has the power to forgive; however, using the Divine power available to us through the Lord requires making a choice—a choice to choose God’s way rather than our own. Corrie ten Boom, the well-known Dutch Christian, who with her sister Betsie suffered traumatically at the hands of the Nazis in Ravensbrück concentration camp, wrote about one of the camp’s guards who was particularly cruel and at whose hands Corrie, Betsie and others suffered. Many years after her imprisonment, this former guard met Corrie, testif ying that he had become a Christian. He reached out to her, wanting to shake hands with Corrie. In her mind were thoughts of the cruel treatment and injustices perpetrated by this former Nazi. She could not find it within herself to reach out and shake this man’s hand, yet she knew she could not deny obedience to the Lord’s teachings about forgiveness. Feeling weak in her humanity, she prayed for the Lord to forgive this man through her, to empower Corrie to reach out her hand and clasp his in forgiveness. God provided the power and the grace to do this, when in her humanity she could not find the strength to forgive.

The Bitter “Har vest” of Unforgiveness

It has been said that unforgiveness corrodes every vessel in which it is contained. One who holds unforgiveness against another is actually ingesting a deadly moral poison yet expecting the person who sinned against them to suffer. In actuality, the one who holds onto unforgiveness will not be relieved of suffering until they repent and forgive the wrong committed against them by another. Living in unforgiveness causes the forfeiture of spiritual power.

JuLy/auGuST 20194 Sharing A Journal of Christian Healing

The rev. Dr. mara Lief Crabtree, has served as a chaplain for Tidewater OSL and currently serves as region 2 representative for virginia Chapters and as associate Professor of Christian Spirituality, regent university School of Divinity, virginia Beach, va.

W hen I forgive others; I’m turning the situation over to God. I’m not holding on to the offense anymore; I am giving the entire situation to the Lord. This does not mean the offense is “swept under the carpet,” the wrong forgotten or that the persons who committed the offense will not have to answer ultimately to God for the wrongdoing. Forgiving releases me from the heavy emotional and spiritual burden of unforgiveness. W hen I continue to live in unforgiveness, my prayer life is hindered. In fact, ever y relationship in my life suffers in some way; for my heart and mind do not have the freedom from unforgiveness that expressing love for God and others requires. W hen I forgive in faith and obedience to God’s commands in Scripture, I have given the situation of injustice to the One who deals with all acts of injustice in His own perfect way. I need no longer carr y the burden of unforgiveness. W hen I live in unforgiveness toward another, I “carr y ” them around with me day and night. W herever I go, whatever I do and whomever I’m with, that person whom I have not forgiven stays within my mind, in my memor y and in my thoughts, creating a sense of inner turmoil. It is as if I’m emotionally “ handcuffed” to the offender. I cannot escape; I cannot experience peace and am unable to move for ward to healing and wholeness.

W hen I forgive the person or persons who offended me, I’m released from the heavy spiritual and emotional bondage of unforgiveness. The person who committed the wrong will have to face the reality of the offense at some time or another, hopefully sooner than later. God does not let the injustice pass because the one wronged has forgiven the offender. He desires the person doing the wrong to confess their offense, repent and ask forgiveness from God and from the one whom they offended.

Forgiveness is evidence that we are trusting in the Lord to heal our hearts and minds from the results of the offense. Forgiveness does not always result in a healed relationship with the one who has committed the wrong , especially if the offender repents, but then returns and repeats the previous offense. However, in many instances when both parties involved are desirous to reestablish a loving , caring relationship, reconciliation is possible.