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Finding Meaning Joy and Happiness (FMJH) Project Logs

Part Two

Name: _____________________________ Section Time: _____________________

A. Coping Strategies: Identify and record three coping strategies that you currently practice during stress or hardships and discuss how they typically work for you; these strategies can be considered positive, negative, or neutral. For example, does eating large quantities of sugar when you are stressed help you feel more in control of the situation, or does it simply leave you feeling bloated and/or sorry for yourself? Then, develop and implement three new (and different) healthy coping strategies, drawing from lectures and readings.

Current Coping Strategies (What do you do:

How does this coping strategy work for you? What does putting it into motion actually do for you?

1

Listening to inspiring music

Music that inspires me to face my current situation gives me a sense of control

2

Consuming too much caffeine

Caffeine gives me adrenaline that keeps me awake giving me more time to think and feel as though am managing the stress

3

Excessive spending

Continuous Shopping makes me feel as though am relieved of the stress, but eventually, it creates a financial burden.

New / Healthy Coping Strategies:

How is this new coping strategy working for you?

1

Channeling the negative energy into something productive

Whenever I feel stressed I try out new recipes improving on my cooking skills.

2

Face my fears

I express my feelings instead of bottling them and it gives me so much relief as I address some of the issues stressing me.

3

Exercise and eat healthy

Exercise relieves me of the body stress and tension. Having a proper diet prepares my body to cope with stress better.

B. Positive/Optimistic Thinking: Think of any negative thoughts you have about yourself, others, and a circumstance. For example, you might always put yourself down for not being thin enough, or smart enough (negative self though) or you see your current financial situation as unbearable (negative thought about circumstance). How might you think about these differently or more optimistically? List three negative thinking patterns (self, others, circumstance) and how you might reframe those thoughts to think more optimistically.

Negative Thought:

How I might think about this more optimistically?

1

Self:

I am too thin, I don’t look good.

Being healthy is more important than body size. I should focus on being healthy.

2

Others:

No one can be trusted.

As much as everyone has a bad side, they have a good side as well. Before judging I should see the good in them first.

3

Circumstance:

I can never stop complaining because no one does anything the right way.

The little effort that someone places to achieve something I asked is important to appreciate as it motivates the individual to do better.

C. “Unplug” yourself for 24 hours! Use no electronic equipment for 24 hours. No cell phone; no iPods; no video games; no computers or Internet; no Facebook; no TV. You can, however, use electricity, and various other household mechanisms required for daily living. The point of this exercise is to “disconnect” from social media and the greater technological world. Reflect on how you felt and how you used your time. Please be specific. NOTE: PLAN this exercise around your schedule to minimize any significant disruption. In other words, don’t attempt this on a day where you have to be on email to communicate with group members for a project that is coming due.

At first it didn’t feel there was much of a difference, but as the day went by, I felt as though I had no friends and I was too idle. I felt like a big part of me was missing since I am too attached to my phone and computer. I realized my entire life is in my laptop and phone. If I need to talk to my friends I would simply email them or send a short message via social media. I began noticing my environment. I planted some flowers in the garden, went for a walk in the park and later made dinner. I managed doing some of the things I loved most such as spending time with nature. During dinner, I was able to have a constructive conversation with my parents. From the conversation I learnt there is so much I didn’t know about my family line. By the end of the day, I realized there is another world out of the technology world which is interesting and relatable.

D. Communication: Have three in-depth (15-30 minute) conversations with friends, family, or someone you trust. While in conversation, notice your non-verbal (e.g., eye contact, body movements, etc.) and verbal communication patterns (e.g., frequently interrupt, talk rapidly, etc.). Write a description of these communication patterns (NOTE: Do not report the content of the conversation, but rather your non-verbal and verbal communication patterns.)

Conversation Patterns:

Ways to Improve Your Communication:

1

I look away whenever they look at me talking.

It is important to maintain eye contact so as to have the other person’s full attention on the subject matter of the conversation.

2

I excessively use my hands to explain an idea.

The excessive use of hand gestures distracts the other person, shifting their focus to my movements. Minimizing the use of hand gestures to only when necessary can help in having better conversations.

3

I talk too fast forcing the other person to struggle catching up with what am saying. Also, it takes time for the other person to understand what I’m talking about.

Slowing my speech will enable me to pass information effectively as well as giving the other person an easy time to follow up on the conversation.

E. Trust: First, list three people you know you can talk to and what types of challenges each one is best at helping with (e.g. relationships, school, work, etc.). Then, list three people who confide in you and the types of challenges you typically help them with. Be specific when noting the types of challenges—said differently, do not simply write “relationships,” but rather flesh out what it is about relationships that you help them with. Please use first names only.

Someone You Confide In:

Type of Challenge She/He is Best at Helping You With:

1

Mary

Mary helps me out on religious challenges. She answers some of the questions I may have as well as give me advice on what needs to be done to live a religious life.

2

Tom

I talk to Tom whenever I have issues with my parents. He understands what I go through as he has been in similar situations with his parents. He doesn’t judge me or my actions.

3

Nancy

I confide in Nancy whenever I have academic related issues. She does well in most of the subjects I struggle with. She encourages me and helps me in studying them.

Someone who Confides in You:

Type of Challenge you are Best at Helping With:

1

Peter

I mostly find myself giving Peter financial advice. He asks me on better methods to save or invest the money he has.

2

Stephen

I help Stephen deal with his introvert nature. He doesn’t know how to relate with other people and keeps to himself. I help him make friends and associate with other people more.

3

Sandra

Sandra confides work related issues with me. She

talks to me whenever she is faced with a hard task at work or ethical issues.

Friend’s Name:

(First name only)

What was significant about the conversation? What did you learn or experience?

1

Cindy

When making a new friend, it is important to find a common interest or else they might get easily offended with what you may say.

2

David

After a long time with lack of communication interests change which makes conversations difficult.

3

Sarah

Being liberal helps one to easily make friends as they listen to all ideas and give their point of view strategically not offending the other party.

4

Sam

Being out of contact doesn’t mean the other person is not interested in your wellbeing.

F. Socializing: Many of us spend a great deal of time in social situations with family and/or friends. Strengthen two of your old friendships (i.e., someone you have lost communication with) by either making a phone call to them, or by having an in-person conversation with them. Also, attempt to make two new friends by initiating a conversation with someone who is in one of your classes, or who lives in your dorm, or who works at your job. Write only the first name of the person and describe what was significant about the conversation. What did you learn or experience?

G. Gratitude/Kindness: What are you grateful for? What brings a moment of Happiness or Joy into your life in any given day? For three days, list three different things per day that you are grateful for. Also, be aware of, and practice, random acts of kindness with the intention of improving someone else’s day! For three days, list three different random acts of kindness you performed each day.

Day:

Things In My Life I Am Grateful For: (Be specific—simply saying “life” is not sufficient)

Day 1:1

Good health. There are so many sick people in the hospitals wishing they had good health.

1:2

Access to education. Not everyone in the world has the same opportunity as I to get educated.

1:3

A roof over my head at a time the weather can be so cold and snowy.

Day 2:1

Access to drinking water. I love taking water and take it for granted, but then there are over 500million people in the world with no access to drinking water.

2:2

Access to food. I don’t have to go hungry as I am able to cook. There are so many people who are malnourished due to lack of food.

2:3

My family and friends. They give me so much joy and happiness in life.

Day 3:1

The setbacks that have made me stronger in life. Some of the experiences in life are not that pleasing, but then I have been able to learn and grow from the experiences.

3:2

Am able to enjoy the small pleasures of life such as walking in the park and watching the sunset.

3:3

The kindness that other people get to show me. Whenever one shows me kindness I feel they care for me and it makes my day feel a whole lot better.

Day:

Random Acts of Kindness: (Be specific—simply saying “held open door for someone” is not sufficient)

Day 1:1

Sending post cards to children in the hospitals so as to give them hope.

1:2

Helping out a family member who has just had a child to ease off some of the burden and allow them to rest.

1:3

Donating money to the needy so as to help them get a better life.

Day 2:1

Offering a lemonade to the garbage men during summer, it makes them have a better day.

2:2

Visit the elderly so as to make them feel loved and cared for.

2:3

Lending out an umbrella on a rainy day to a colleague so that they don’t fall sick from being rained on.

Day 3:1

Lending a listening ear to a friend going through a hard time to help them feel relieved.

3:2

Give positive complements to others it might boost one’s morale.

3:3

Have a day that you celebrate someone you love to make them feel special and loved.