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INTERPERSONAL CONFLICT

11 Floyd, Interpersonal Communication, 3e

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[ Our Agenda • The Nature of Interpersonal Conflict

• Conflict in Personal Relationships

• Power and Conflict

• Managing Interpersonal Conflict

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[ The Nature of Interpersonal Conflict Interpersonal conflict is an expressed struggle

between at least two interdependent parties who

perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, and

interference from the other party in achieving their

goals

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[ The Nature of Interpersonal Conflict (Characteristics) Points to remember from that definition:

• Conflict is an expressed struggle

• It occurs between two or more interdependent parties

• It is about goals that the parties perceive to be incompatible

• It arises over perceived scarce resources

• It includes interference

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[ Conflict in Personal Relationships In relationships, conflict . . .

• Is natural

• Has content, relational, and procedural dimensions

• Can be direct or indirect

• Can be harmful

• Can be beneficial

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[ Conflict in Personal Relationships (Marriage) Common topics of conflict in marriage

• Personal criticisms

• Finances

• Chores

• Children

• Employment

• In‐laws

• Sex

• Use of time

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[Conflict in Personal Relationships (Sex) Sex and gender affect conflict

• Girls and women are encouraged by gender socialization to “play nice” and avoid conflict

• Boys and men are encouraged to engage in conflict directly, using competitive or aggressive behaviors, but also not to hurt women

• Passive aggression and demand‐withdraw patterns frequently characterize conflict between women and men

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[ Conflict in Personal Relationships (Culture) Culture can affect conflict

• Individualistic cultures teach people to stand up for themselves in the face of conflict

• Collectivistic cultures encourage accommodation, rather than conflict, to preserve group harmony

• Language used during conflict can differ between low‐ and high‐context cultures

• Cross‐cultural conflict is common because of different traditions and expectations

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[Conflict in Personal Relationships(Online) Conflict can be common online

• The disinhibition effect encourages people to say or do things online that they would not in person

• This can encourage new conflicts or inflame existing ones

• Several communication strategies can help people avoid or manage conflict in online settings

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[ Power and Conflict Power is the ability to influence or control other people or events

• Power is context‐specific

• Power is always present

• Power influences communication

• Power can be positive or negative

• Power and conflict influence each other

[ Power and Conflict (Forms) French and Raven’s five forms of power

• Reward power

• Coercive power

• Referent power

• Legitimate power

• Expert power

[ Power and Conflict (Sex and Gender) Sex and gender influence power

• Patriarchy is a common organizing principle for human societies

• Several nations have female heads of state and women in powerful positions

• Masculinity and femininity express different messages about power

[ Power and Conflict (Culture) Culture influences power

• People in high‐power‐ distance cultures accept power differences as normal, even desirable

• People in low‐power‐ distance cultures often question power differences

[ Managing Interpersonal Conflict Gottman’s Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

• Criticism

• Contempt

• Defensiveness

• Stonewalling

[ Managing Interpersonal Conflict (Strategies) Strategies for managing conflict

• Competing

• Avoiding

• Accommodating

• Compromising

• Collaborating