Flavio's home response notes
MHD33
Flavioguide.docx“Flavio’s Home” Exercise – Sentence Variety for Layers of Meaning
Please examine the craft at work here. Gordon Parks used his writing style to reinforce the strong message at work here. Basically, “how” you write works hand in hand with “what” you write. Watch how he does this in this famous essay on poverty.
Gordon Parks was a creative force to be admired within our culture (see #1). If you think of the messages of Simons and Plato, this essay represents so many of the skills mentioned by these two thinkers. He was the first writer in mainstream American magazines to do photo essays on our poor. We just did not examine the misery of our poor at that time. He was the first minority writer who gained access to mainstream, popular magazines. He offered a different truth and he did suffer great “pain” for doing so. He was criticized heavily at that time. He saw human virtues in the poor. He was not blind due to selective attention. He existed in a society that was segregated by law and practice. The photo essay was a new art form. He was an artist – I will attach a link for a look at one of his photo essays.
I could select Gordon Parks for my Creative Force Essay. Like Parks, I feel that the poor are not valued or cared for by our society. That is my opinion. He was very creative and affected our society, then and now. I would be glad to take a stand and present him as a creative force. Please see the Avenues of Truth for views of any topic or research. These Avenues will lead you to topic ideas for paragraphs and then make writing very productive. Take stands with your essay.
Notice in “Flavio’s Home” how Parks uses word choice, punctuation and writing constructions to add more meaning. Layers of meaning means that the sentence presents exactness and richness for an effect. In thesis statements and topic sentences, you need a sentence that covers the meaning for an essay or for a paragraph. “Saying more with less” is central to professional writing. If you have a presentation that you care about, then “saying more with less” will be central as you grab their attention in the opening and then cover ground exactly and fully in the body of the essay.
Please notice that the suggested writing constructions are listed below and the # corresponds to at least one example in Park’s famous essay. Our goals are important here: 1) Let’s use modeling to examine grammar and writing, not worksheets; 2) Look at each example and try that out in your drafts – I will value that effort, even if you are wrong; 3) Then, examine the rest of the Essay and find similar and other examples where Park’s uses a construction to add exactness and fullness of meaning. “Saying more with less…”
#2 – word choice – “fierce” – adds meaning far different than words like “strong” or “personal.” “Fierce” adds an intensity and energy levels… very strong.
#3 – “listing for effect” – adds a total effect as you use multiple verb forms or modifiers to build more meaning… obviously, “cancer” is a strong word choice for the effects of poverty – how?
#4 – modifier for effect – the adverb (…ly) or an adjective (modifier before a noun) adds meaning to that word. For example, how hot – “wickedly hot.” Wickedly is very extreme with an evil effect. Better than “real hot” or “very hot” or “extremely hot.” These words are all different in effect – search for the most exact words – say what you really mean to say. Be exact… Try the right click thesaurus.
#5 – extra information for meaning – an essential construction that can pack meaning into a sentence. Avoids the use of another sentence for that information. “Jose Gallo, a Life reporter, … the phrase within the commas gives us extra information about the noun that comes before. Phrases can be added and surrounded by commas – great and important meaning is added. You can always pull that phrase out of the sentence and the sentence is still fine as a complete sentence. A great construction – often those phrases can start with “who, which and that,”
#6 – adjective as modifier before a noun – adds exactness to that concept. Amazing how many students do not use modifiers for more meaning – adjectives and adverbs.
#7 – double modifiers for effect – again, a word or image is being stressed for meaning. Most often presented as “adjective, adjective noun.” For example, the “hot, crowded room…”
#8 – Introductory word or phrase used as a “bridge” between sentences for variety and meaning. In this case “Turning,” is used and a comma separates and adds a pause. “Turning” cannot stand as a full sentence. Please see the listing of Transitions as these are essential bridges that really add meaning. For example – “However,” or “Fortunately,” or In that case,”…
#9 – again, listing for effect…
#10 – Combining Sentences for depth and fullness of meaning. In this case a coordinate conjunction - “, and…”
Try all the other coordinate conjunctions – “fanboys” – “for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so”… Each can be used as a different bridge as you combine sentences. This is particularly good with thesis and topic sentences where you need full and rich statements.
#11 -word choice for effect
#12 – Introductory phrase
#13 – Modifiers that add meaning
#14 – the colon –“ : “ for effect… A colon signifies that a list or explanation follows. Very effective in professional writings when listing elements. Often confused with a semi-colon “ ;” .
#15 – Listing for effect
#16 – Introductory phrase – in this case a present participial phrase. That is a form with “verb + ing.” “Having finished” or “Walking swiftly through the door…”
#17 – Modifier for effect
#18 – Participial phrase at the end of a sentence. Again, phrases can be attached to sentences for full meaning. A phrase is any group of words that cannot stand alone as a complete sentence.
#19 – Participial phrase added as extra information – notice that surrounded by commas. This is present participial (verb & ing). Past participial phrases would have a “verb & ed. “For example, “Awakened by the noise,…”
#20 – Present Participial phrase again – You could also use an Infinitive phrase – “to & verb.” For example, “To get that job,” or “To lead that group,”…
#21 – Extra information – adds an effective image for Maria
#22 – Extra Information, again
#23 – Extra information, again
#24 – Introductory phrase – an excellent bridge between two sentences…
#25 – Modifier for great effect – in this case an adjective
#26 – Very effective image – short sentence for an exact and strong effect
#27 – Extra information, again… See how effective this is for increasing meaning.
#28 – Transition device - “transition,”
#29 – Listing for effect
#30 – A semi-colon acts just like a period, but is a bridge that establishes a close relationship between the two sentences. So you can combine full sentences with a semi-colon – “; “ . Sentence; sentence
Or, you can use a “;transition, “ to combine two complete sentences. For example: “Sentence ;transition, sentence…. “ See the listing of transitional devices.
#31 – Transition for effect
#32 – Coordinate Conjunction – “fanboys” – to combine sentences…
#33 – Adverb after the verb to “cough” – Again, students seem to avoid using adverbs to be more exact with verbs. Verbs are very important for meaning, very…
#34 – Coordinate Conjunction – “fanboys” – to combine sentences…
#35 – Listing for increased meaning…
#36 – Introductory phrase – in this case an Infinitive Phrase…
#37 – Modifiers for effect – two adjectives adding exactness and meaning to the noun…
#38 – The Conclusion – your conclusion should not be a simple repetition of your thesis – not just a restatement. Why do that? Save a very strong point for your conclusion. Leave your audience with a strong impression.
What is Gordon Parks saying/suggesting with this conclusion?
By the way, you can view a Gordon Park’s Photo Essay here:
https://blogs.getty.edu/iris/this-just-in-gordon-parks-flavio-photographs/
