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First, you should not answer questions in your introduction, your introduction and conclusions is basically the same. In introduction, you should give the outline of your essay to five clarity. (This essay will do bla bla. It will be done by analysing bla bla

Second, there is no methodology section in essay, you should not include it and write something relevant instead

Third, you can’t keep the title of the sections like introduction, conclusion, it need to be cohesive and not separated

Fourth, i think some of your discussion is not relevant to the essay questions, like the gender and religion thing seems unnecessary or the relationship with the reader (you should talk about interviewee, not readers Fifth, you seem like you did not follow the advice and didn’t include what must be in your essay: ethical fault lines, IPSO code, privacy and intrusion, and power balance between interviewer snd interviewee. And fix your bibliography because it seems like you didn’t include everything in the right order. Check cite them right website to make sure you’ve not missing any full stops, commas, quitation marks and putting for example publication place and page range in the right place You should’ve followed the guide

They basically said what you need to write