Essay revision help
xw7510
Finalrevisiontips2019.pptxFinal submission
Cover letter
Tell me about your revision process – what did you do? How did you respond to the feedback (either generalized or personalized) that you received?
I will read this first. Lead me into your paper – do not MISlead me.
Direct me to your strengths, and explain the revision process re: your weaknesses. Did you try to address the issue?
Final Submission
Citations
Parenthetical (Author, Year)
Bibiography
CLEAN
Sentence and language revision
Put away your thesaurus. Use simple (but not slang) terms. No need to use “fancy” or “big” words.
Simple (short, direct, concise, to-the-point) sentence structure is almost ALWAYS preferable.
Steps
Revise sentences for…
CONCISION (reduce wordiness)
Passive to active, negative to positive construction
Varied sentence structure
Pulling Weeds
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0NI0ucC_-4
Another resource: http://telstar.ote.cmu.edu/writingtutor/concision.html
Reduce bloated expressions… Can I say it in fewer words without changing the meaning?
Change negatives and passives into positives and actives.
1. Reducing wordiness…
Empty words
Redundant words
Bloated expressions
More words ≠ better
1. Reducing wordiness…
The final outcome of the study will help explain various different links between the three separate factors of heart disease, age, and physical activity.
VS
The outcome of the study will help explain the different links between heart disease, age, and physical activity.
1. Reducing wordiness …
The parts of a telescope must be tested in a precise manner and for a long period of time.
VS
The parts of a telescope must be tested precisely and for a long time.
1. Reducing wordiness …
In the event that a large-scale disaster such as a hurricane or earthquake occurred, the possibility exists that even large hospitals could be overwhelmed.
VS
If a large-scale disaster, such as a hurricane or earthquake occurred, even large hospitals could be overwhelmed.
1. Reducing wordiness …
The first thing to say about computers is that public understanding of research in the area of computers has been observed to be colored by decades of fantastic science fiction portrayals.
VS
First, public understanding of computer research is colored by decades of fantastic science fiction portrayals.
Strong verbs, active voice
2. Negatives and Passives to Positives and Actives
2. Negatives and Passives to Positives and Actives
Do not continue the treatment of the patient experiences negative side effects
VS
Stop the treatment if the patient experiences side effects.
2. Negatives and Passives to Positives and Actives
The food safety board failed to accept about 2% of the shipments
VS
The food safety board rejected about 2% of the shipments.
2. Negatives and Passives to Positives and Actives
The two theories are not the same in several important respects.
VS
The two theories differ in several important respects.
