proposal

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Relationship Dissolution in Media

Firstname Lastname

Department of Psychology, University of Houston

PSYC 2317: Introduction to Social Psychology

Mr. Jordan Browne

November 30, 2023

Relationship Dissolution in Media

This paper explores concepts of Social Psychology and their relationship to the song “I Miss You” by Blink-182 and the television show Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. While these both present aspects of relationship functioning, they showcase different aspects of Social Psychology. Relationship-contingent self-esteem (RCSE), the degree to which a person ties their sense of self-worth to their relationship, can be seen in Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. This show also illustrates the impact a breakup can have on a person. This is also seen in the song “I Miss You.” The song can additionally be seen as an example of an anxious attachment style. These concepts and how they can be seen in media are discussed in this paper, with empirical evidence of these in real life.

Relationship-Contingent Self-Esteem

RCSE refers to self-esteem that comes from how well one’s romantic relationship is going. For people who are high in RCSE, having positive events in one’s relationship occur (e.g., a good date) will significantly increase a person’s self-esteem, while having adverse events in one’s relationship occur (e.g., an argument with one’s partner) will have adverse effects on a person’s self-esteem. This can create difficulties for a person, making their self-esteem less stable. It may also make people strive to gain their partners’ attention and support, which could relate to less secure attachment to one’s partner.

In Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is a show in which the main character, Rebecca Bunch, develops relationships with several people while addressing (or more often ignoring) her mental illness. The show makes her dependency on relationships apparent by incorporating the name of one of the main love interests (Josh) into the title of every episode in the show's first two seasons. For this paper, we will focus on the second half of the show's second season. The show, a musical, includes a song entitled “We Will Never Have Problems Again,” in which Josh and Rebecca, a couple, sing about how they expect life to be perfect now that they are in a relationship. While this song is satirical, it shows how the main characters’ views of the world are altered by the happiness that they have found in their relationship. When the relationship ultimately ends, Rebecca disappears for a significant period of time, grieving the end of the relationship. These two examples suggest that Rebecca’s view of her self was heavily dependent on the relationship. When the relationship was going well, she anticipated a perfect life, but she viewed life as extraordinarily difficult when it ended. Though breakups often impact a person’s self-esteem, Rebecca's reaction was more significant than one would expect for a breakup.

Empirical Evidence

This is in line with research that was done on the associations that RCSE has with different outcomes. The first study in this line of research found that RCSE was positively associated with relationship satisfaction and negative emotions (Knee et al., 2008). While this may seem paradoxical, it does line up with the examples presented above. Further supporting this, a second study in that same line of research indicated that fluctuations in self-esteem were associated with positive and negative events in a relationship (Knee et al., 2008).

Another study using RCSE looked at how RCSE was related to reactions to breakups in one’s relationship. This study found that RCSE was associated with emotional distress and obsessive pursuit following the relationship’s end. This research was cross-sectional, however. (Park et al., 2011). That may limit one’s ability to determine if RCSE caused obsessive pursuit and emotional distress or the other way around. However, this is irrelevant for the example discussed here. The article also found correlations between RCSE and rejection sensitivity (Park et al., 2011). It can be inferred that Rebecca is high in rejection sensitivity by her going to great lengths to prevent her father from leaving. Also, Rebecca is deeply hurt following the breakup demonstrating emotional distress. She also finds Josh at his new job and confronts him about the breakup, indicating obsessive pursuit. Thus, we can conclude that Rebecca was likely very high in RCSE, which impacted her emotions and behaviors.

Attachment

Attachment consists of two dimensions of attachment anxiety and avoidance (Brennan & Shaver, 1995). Attachment anxiety indicates concerns about being rejected or abandoned by one’s partner or close other. Attachment avoidance consists of hesitance regarding getting close to another person. These two components can cooccur meaning that a person can have high levels of avoidance and anxiety. A person’s attachment style can be considered as a general personality trait or something specific to their relationship with a close other. In other words, a person may have a secure attachment style while being more anxiously attached to their partner.

While attachment style was initially conceptualized to measure how infants respond to caregivers, later theories have looked at attachment in other relationships. This may include friends, parents, partners, and other relationships. However, this paper will focus on romantic relationships for the time being.

In “I Miss You”

An example of this can be seen in the song “I Miss You” by Blink-182. This song describes the feeling of missing a romantic partner or former partner. In its first verse, the narrator discusses his feelings for the object of his affection. Then, the song goes on to sing about longing for another person and the pain of missing them. It ends with the narrator saying their romantic interest is “already the voice inside [his] head.”

While this song can be used to understand feelings of loneliness and sadness after a relationship ends, it may also serve as an example of an anxious and avoidant attachment style. The song describes needing someone to the point of being unable to sleep as well as repeatedly stating that he misses this other person. These indicate anxiety in one’s attachment. Meanwhile, avoidant attachment is shown through the narrator saying that he feels uncertain about calling his partner, avoiding closeness. He also says for his romantic interest to not waste their time on him, pushing them away in a way that is consistent with an avoidant attachment style.

Empirical Evidence

One study found that anxiety in one’s general attachment style is associated with grief for a relationship once it is over. This study did not, however, look at attachment avoidance (Heshmati et al., 2022). Attachment was also analyzed in the study mentioned above that focused on RCSE and relationship dissolution. Interestingly, this failed to find an effect from attachment style when other variables were included in a model predicting emotional distress or obsessive pursuit (Park et al., 2011). Therefore, while it does seem like the narrator has an anxious and avoidant attachment style, it isn’t clear if this is what is driving their grief regarding the end of the relationship.

Conclusion

Media sources can be an excellent way to find examples of concepts in Social Psychology. This is especially true of relationships. While this paper discusses RCSE in Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and attachment in “I Miss You,” each of these concepts are present in both of the discussed pieces of media. This may be a driving force for the grief displayed in “I Miss You.” It is also true that there are many more concepts that could be seen in each of these pieces of media.

References

Brennan, K. A., & Shaver, P. R. (1995). Dimensions of Adult Attachment, Affect Regulation, and Romantic Relationship Functioning. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 21(3), 267–283. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167295213008

Heshmati, R., Zemestani, M., & Vujanovic, A. (2022). Associations of Childhood Maltreatment and Attachment Styles with Romantic Breakup Grief Severity: The Role of Emotional Suppression. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 37(13–14), NP11883–NP11904. https://doi.org/10.1177/0886260521997438

Knee, C., Canevello, A., Amspoker, A., & Cook, A. (2008). Relationship-Contingent Self-Esteem and the Ups and Downs of Romantic Relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 95, 608–627. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.95.3.608

Park, L. E., Sanchez, D. T., & Brynildsen, K. (2011). Maladaptive Responses to Relationship Dissolution: The Role of Relationship Contingent Self-Worth. Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 41(7), 1749–1773. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1559-1816.2011.00769.x